yeah i'm a shitposter. all my posts are shit

the year is 2035. the new beauty standard is for women to cut their ears off, as ears are a masculine trait which make the face look too big and hearing isnt necessary as it doesnt align with being demure. evil feminists say perhaps this is unnecessary and ears are natural. women are agressively proclaiming they are cutting their ears off due to sensory issues

the year is 2040. having ears as a woman is considered unprofessional and slovenly and makes you less likely to get jobs, win court cases of any kind, or be considered in any way credible.

picking the torture option and the next day the first thing he does right off the bat is make me eat a really big live spider

Oh, to be a little kitten who just got vaccinated and then taken to a high-end restaurant and tasted the best food the chefs could offer and then fell asleep in a basket.

have a bunny kiss them for luck. got it

Being a flop changed my life. The world is not my oyster, I am glowing. I walked into a pole this morning. There's very little I wouldn't do for $1,000

The most beautiful phrase in the whole entire world. Is. What are they gonna do. Fire me?

mature content warnings on text posts of nothing but letters on a screen. . . remember when you were allowed to post like an adult and not be shamed or silenced for it

They hate me for being a horny pervert but I have warriors defending my honour across the globe

if this gets 500 notes I'll draw Hitch and Hitomi making out sloppy bi-t4t style

well uh...fuck

salad is mostly items

Hey kids, you need to start worrying a little less about getting “#mogged” and a little more about getting “#smogged”. This is an Air Quality Index public service announcement.

Oh boy, a complex character who's a woman! I love messy characters who hurt everyone around them and continue the cycles that hurt them!! Can't wait to share this joy with fellow fans– why's everyone calling her a bitch