Luciano DiAlberto

If you want a dog, you know you have to be the one to take care of it, right?

Well, I mean, that’s good enough of a reason but if you need more convincing then I want a dog because we could use some life around the house. 

Ha. Ha. Ha. You're so funny Rory.

Let’s call it Fido and teach it how to play dead.

You want to get a dog just for that?

Let’s get a dog.

Why?

Hear me out, man. It’s genius.

...fine.

You know what, Luke? I know exactly what this household needs. 

...I don't even want to ask.

Well… You abide by the rule, don’t you? Besides, it’s all good. As long as it isn’t in the room, I can’t be blamed for my actions. In fact, I’m gonna go take a shit in the vase on the table… If only I could poop again.

That sounds very tempting and amusing. I think I shall. Come get me or give me a sign before you smile at him so I can see his reaction. I can’t say I did. What was it? There’s an art to everything, Luciano. And just like with any other type of art, you have to practice to get better at it. That is most likely true if she’s in the mood to play along. She does have an unfair advantage. Woman tend to come off less creepier than men do. Societies fault, really. Old age? Are you insinuating that i’m going senile?

I'll even try to record a video too, in case you can't make it the first time around. It was a straight jacket with one of those...I forget what they're called, but they strap mental patients to them and wheel them around...but they're standing. Some types of art require too much time and effort that one simply does not have, so it's best to give up. Well, I would give up I mean. Yes, we're stereotyped and creepy. They're just flirty and...flirty. It is, it is. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not.

Very well, if you say so.  Though I do feel the need to add that Rory does have a habit of exaggerating things.  Slapped? It’s all about how you deliver the compliment and the environment around you. If you’re at a bar and start off with a compliment the chance of you getting slapped if very high. Well then how about I just judge and not participate? It would be fair then. Ah, yes how could I forget your poker skills? 

I make sure I smile in his presence quite a bit. Watching him squirm is amusing, you should watch his reaction next time. Did you see what he got me for xmas? So there's an art to it? Duly noted. Between Joce, Rory and I? We both know Joce, if she agreed to participate, would win that one, hands down. Maybe it's the old age getting to you.

Didn’t you just say if it isn’t in her room it’s free game for all? So me spitting in her purse is fairly justified here. 

I'm speaking figuratively. I'm not saying that that's a rule, but that's what you're implying and if that's what you mean, then my scenario makes sense.

That was one time! Besides… the purse wasn’t technically in her room so that doesn’t count. Uh… no. I keep note of how many I use in case I run out. 

That was still her purse. If you leave the lotions on the dining room table, aka not your room, that means it's free game for everyone so really, the lotions should just be all in your room. Guarantee that Joce won't go in there.

We won’t know until you try. Come on now. It’s not that difficult. You just smile and compliment them. Compliments are fairly easy, you just stick to the truth and point out good things about a person. People nowadays rarely hear that. They’re too focused on the negatives. You’re right. I’d definitely win that game if the rest of you played as well. Still it seems like a fun idea. Don’t we all question our sanity at one point or another?

I am not trying that, Brent. I'll come off as creepy and a predator. My smile makes Rory crawl under the bed, what would a girl do in response to that? Yeah...I don't...ever really compliment people...I've had enough slaps for trying to do that. A fun idea because you'd win, which is not fair, by the way. We can play poker and then we'll see who wins. Answer = me. That's true, and with this coven, it's a frequent thought.

No, no, no. You don’t understand, Jocey has taken them before… Heck, I’m pretty sure she held them hostage once. I know she’s keeping them somewhere… I know it. 

Because you spit bugs in her purse and take her things, Rory. Or maybe you just used them all...ever consider that?

… Thrown them out?! See, this is exactly why I’m breaking into her room. I bet she has like, thirty of my missing bottles in there. Just - I won’t take long, just be on the lookout for Godzilla, will you?

Rory...trust me, I don't think she would have your lotions, especially knowing to the extents you'll go to get them. They're all in the spare room on the shelf. Godzilla?