I have no motivation, no idea what I want to do and really no sense of what I’m feeling. I have this inescapable feeling that I’ll never break free of what’s holding me down, or that I’ll never understand my situation enough to grow from it. I’m afraid I’ll always have to learn through pain, that I’ll only learn when pushed to the edge. Or that I only learn under these extreme circumstances that I create for myself, there seems to be no balance.















