♡ welcome to my blog i talk about things. if you are looking for specifics i have a band sideblog at @c0wboyjunkie and a movie sideblog at @getinnocuous :)
♡ she/he or whatever you want to be honest
♡ extremely mentally unwell about many things sorry about it. peace and love on the planet earth
if you need me to tag something just let me know!! mwah mwah
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God I miss the days when you could show up to a stranger’s farm and he’d say “What’s your name, boy?” and you’d take off your hat and hold it to your chest to better let him see your face and reply “Why I ain’t got none, sir, on account of my mammy passed on before she could give me one” and he’d tell you he’s real damn sorry to hear that and ask what he can do you for and you’d tell him that you can’t read nor even write neither but you’re mighty good with horses and can mend them fallen fence posts what you saw on your way in and won’t ask for nothing much more than a hot meal and a warm barn to sleep in and he’d keep his wife and daughters inside but send his boy who ain’t got married yet even though his mama tells him he needs a woman out with a lantern and some stew at night and the two of you’d get to talkin and he’d throw you his flask to take a swig from and watch you drinkin from it while he leant against the door frame and when he finally got called back on up to the house again he’d take a sip from it too real slow-like like it weren’t the whiskey what he were tryna savour
every day at least once while on a walk i think to myself “it weren’t the whiskey what he were tryna savour” and sometimes if i am alone i say it out loud
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Alright, now that I've played the remaster and thought about it a bit, it's about time I pretty up my thoughts on my personal interpretation of OFF and present it here. Without further ado:
A GAME FOR TRAUMATIZED CHILDREN: OFF THROUGH THE LENS OF C-PTSD
(Spoilers for the remaster ahead)
(Don't worry if it's hard to decipher, there is thorough explanation of everything under the cut)
For half of this to make sense it is necessary to read my interpretation of the original game here. For the sake of keeping things compact though, I will paste my TLDR here:
"The zones are different sectors of your own inner landscape and Batter is a self-destructive part of your brain that earnestly masquerades as a protector since he believes the best way to protect you from a painful reality is to cut you off from it.
Hugo isn't immediately accessible until you destroy everything else because he is your heavily repressed inner child. Once he's gone however, you can make the final decision to retreat inward and disconnect from the outside world completely. Making the decision to not pull the lever means that even though life has been painful to you, you opt to continue to stay present in the hope that things will get better someday...somewhere over the rainbow."
The first chart is based around the IFS therapy model, a popular form of therapy to treat the structural dissociation that is inherent with CPTSD. IFS conceives of every human being as a system of wounded inner parts, (The inhabitants of OFF) led by a core Self (The Player). These wounded parts are commonly sorted into three categories explained in the image above: Exiles, Managers and Firefighters. If it's hard to read the graphic, I will summarize it.
Exiles are the injured parts of us and have typically experienced trauma. Exiled by the managers, they can become increasingly extreme, ultimately overriding the managers. Usually hold feelings of shame, abandonment, being too much, or being evil (Spectres, Hugo, Burnt, Sucre). Author's Note: Notably all of these exiled parts are compared to children or are child-like in mannerism, and children are exploited and repeatedly painted to be unruly, sick, or sinful in this world. Food for thought that may be resonate to fellow bearers of the curse.
Managers are a protective group of parts that attempt to keep us organized and safe, running our day-to-day lives. Over time, they may push for perfectionism and even inflict harm in their pursuit of safety. When this happens these parts rely on harmful behavior like anxiety, procrastination and sabotage. (The Guardians, Elsen, Zacharie, The Queen)
Firefighters are emergency parts that activate when exiles produce overwhelming and threatening emotions that the managers can’t control. The firefighters aim to suppress the exiled parts through any means necessary, often resulting in maladaptive behaviors, e.g. Dissociation. (The Batter)
The Self is the person that is at the core of each individual. This is the foundation of who are you as a person, can’t be damaged, and has your best interests at heart. However, once exiles become more prevalent, the self temporarily loses control of the system to managers and firefighters. (You, the player)
I still believe this to be the overarching narrative of the first game, but the remaster introduces 6 new faces with some notable dialogue. They allude to a past world and some sort of never-ending cycle of change.
It got me thinking of how this could fit into my current interpretation and I realized the answer was right in front of me. Complex PTSD IS cyclical. It is a constant death and rebirth of self. I'm sure you've heard traumatized people say "I feel as though a part of me has died".
This made me think of what each of the new bosses represents in a word, and from this exercise, the 2nd chart was born. I believe the Zodiac bosses themselves are representative of the aforementioned CPTSD cycle. They are not exactly gods, but concepts, which makes them immortal in a way. I hope for the most part it is self-explanatory, but I will break down my thoughts a little more regardless.
Source --> Life (The calm before the storm that patiently awaits the inevitability of death.)
Maldecion --> Chaos (The storm has arrived. Their name is most likely inspired by the word Malediction which is a hope that adversity or unhappiness falls onto another person. This along with the sound of their track and the theme of their move-set made me settle on the word "Chaos" for them.)
Psalmanzer and Herodotus --> Denial (These two are explicitly themed around lying in every way. Denial is a form of lying. You lie to yourself when you refuse to accept a painful truth.)
Justus --> Reflection (Allowing yourself to think about it all. To see your warped reflection in the mirror.)
Carnival --> Acceptance (This is really happening and there's no going back from here!)
Cob --> Death (Of self. That endlessly chases the reprieve of life.)
From here you are faced with a choice: Do you suppress it all and stay in the safety of your sweet coma? Where the cycle will repeat itself again and again uncontested? Or do you cradle the wreckage of your inner world and stay present in hopes that one day the promised rainbow will be waiting for you when the rain stops? I mention this in my post about the original game, but it should be noted that both of these endings are presented neutrally which I always deeply appreciated. We have no moral impetus to heal, it is not a bad end to ignore it all and allow the cycle to repeat. It is simply one reaction a traumatized person may have.
Well, I think that about wraps up my thoughts on everything. I hope I could inspire anyone to look at this wonderful game a little differently. Thank you for reading 🌈
supposed to go to a conert tonight with my sister but a dog at the dog park rammed into my bad knee #icingit. please consider me in your thoughts this evening
ok wellll. it’s not the worst pain that’s ever been in that knee considering the aforementioned dislocations but it does notttt feel good. t minus two hours till we go.
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
The doctors told me that if nothing changes in the next twelve hours, my father will die. His blood has become very thin, and every minute that passes is heavier than the last.
They explained that he was still on life support, and I was told they couldn't continue his treatment indefinitely because I could no longer afford the exorbitant medical costs. I stood there speechless, feeling as if the ground had vanished beneath me.
I'm begging you, I'm in Gaza, watching my father bleed before my eyes, unable to stop it. Donate now and help me save his life before it's too late. Donate now on GoFundMe
We could lose my father at any moment. Please don't stop sharing this post and donate. My father is suffering greatly in the ICU. Please, please, please donate now.