Shit outta luck

“He’s not gonna w-want to–He’s gonna be m-mad–All my fault–He was nice and I hurt him I j-just couldn’t take it anymore–I was losing my mind and he wouldn’t end it–” Onyx curls up so tight it hurts, starting a stream of clipped, frantic distress calls.

She’s curled in a very tight, very angry ball at that point. Onyx hisses as Mark comes close–But she’s not yet in ‘feral’ mode, thankfully. Just rather agitated.

“He did…? Oh. Then that’s a-all my fault…” And her tail curls around her face, trying to hide from the koi, the lights, and the shame.

Onyx recoils with a sharp, angry squeal. “No noises! No noises! Shut up–No noises!” Hissing, she drags herself into the corner of the tank that’s farthest from Mark, curling up and shaking.

       He flinched at the surface, but immediately stopped the sobbing- biting his lip to do so. It took a while, but once he had the information, he dived back below, calling out to her softly.

…Alright, she’s had enough. The noises he made were nice, but now Onyx is managing to become stressed enough to negate them. She was so deadset on death–In her mind, there is no other option. Mark is starting to really upset her.

“Well–I don’t have friends!” And she makes a shrill, stressed noise, again trying to thrash away from him.

       He let her go, deflating, the croons turning into something closer to sobs. “Please... I want to help... please let me help?” Oh, it hurt so much to see her in so much pain... 

She lands on the bottom of the tank, too weak to move. “I… I guess you can ask? But if that’s the case with you, then you understand, right? There isn’t even any point to being alive. Everything is just… Always hurting and awful and gross and nothing is worth it.”

“It’s internal problems. O-Orgal failure and permanet stuff from when I was really little and st-stuff, ‘n I don’t have an immune system, basically…” She glances down at her scales. “…They’ve always been like that.”

And now Onyx starts to get agitated–Trying to squirm away from Mark. “He DID! The others had a p-place to go–I just went right back to living in a tank and getting injected and sick and cut open–It’s not FAIR!”

“It won’t get better. They have to do stuff to keep me from dying, and I’m tired of it. I don’t like it…” She chirps sadly, but also scoots up to nuzzle back.

“Well, he didn’t know if he could get the rest of the mers at the lab out… But even if he did, I was just going to be stuck there anyway. So he said if he couldn’t save them, he would kill me… E-Everything hurt, it was really bad there.”

       “I think most of your problems are from stress... Just looking at you, I can tell they treated you horribly, even without talking to you. Your scales shouldn’t be so dull...” He ran a hand over some of them sadly, though still smiling.

Onyx just shakes her head. Just because the mer is calm, doesn’t mean she’s forgotten everything. “I can’t. They messed me up too bad, and everything is always going to hurt, and I’ll never… Never live properly. There’s no point.”

Her scales flash slightly–Much duller than they should be–Under the medical room’s harsh light. “Even if he is alive… He said he would kill me. But he lied…”

       “I know how you feel, dear... I’m also always in a lot of pain. I... the humans at my old home made me all weird, and nothing really works right. But you know what? Every day, I’m so, so thankful I held on... it’s going to be hard, I know it will be, but I promise it’s going to get so much better.” He nuzzled her lovingly, trying to maybe help her feel a little better.

She chirrs happily, cuddling up to him. Onyx’s usual furious noises are gone–The bichir feels safe for the first time in ages. It’s amazing.

“I’m scared and I’m broken and… I hurt Petrel… I was angry a-and… I think he killed himself, and it’s all my fault.”

She clicks her teeth once–And that’s it. The crooning has damn near hypnotized Onyx, leaving the tiny bichir a little pile of depressed putty in his hands. “It’s… No it’s not…”

Her own responsive clicking continues, almost instantly going from anxious and needy to calm and content as soon as the restraints are off and he’s holding her. “I… Yes…”

       “There we go... you’re doing so good!” He’s mindful of the spines as he carefully took them to a corner, curling around her as well as he could. “I promise, everything’s going to be okay.” The tank was a little cold for his liking, but he endured it gladly, smiling down at her, watching as one of the caretakers smiled at him- Mark had worked his magic once again.

//FISH MADE OF SUNSHINE AND SWEETNESS//

It’s reluctant, but it’s there, the tiny clicking response call. Onyx tugs at her restraints, wanting to be closer to him–

–No, fight it! “You… You’re not gonna… Gonna help. I don’t deserve it, and I’m gonna–need–to die, ‘n… ’M just so tired… They broke me and he’s d-dead…”

Her protests are void of any malice, and Onyx is clicking louder and struggling to get at Mark. “G-Gonna bite you…” And that was the weakest threat ever.

       It was probably safe to unstrap her... so he did so, carefully taking her into his arms. “Shhh... it’s going to be alright...” He put the crooning into his speech, trying to keep soothing her, to keep calming her. He just wanted her to be alright...

“Well you can’t he… Help, ‘n you…” It’s hard to even think through the noise–Leaving Onyx overcome with a desperate urge to get closer to him. It stops almost the instant he quiets.

“Well–You can’t! You can’t help, and it’s not FAIR that they’re making me stay alive!”

      Oh...? Mark crooned some more as he hesitantly swam closer. It seemed to calm her down even more than others, maybe he should keep doing it...? “But I want to help you, little one... It’s going to be okay, I promise...” Oh, it hurt to see her in so much pain, but he was determined to help her.

She just sniffles. “If you d-do, I’ll–I’ll bite you! And I got REALLY sharp teeth!” It’s pretty obviously a bluff–The crooning noises have Onyx subconciously tugging at the restraints, trying to get over to him.

“And I don’t EAT, because I am trying to DIE, and the STUPID people here won’t let me.”

      “I’m just trying to help, little one...” More crooning, and then he stopped it for the moment, curling his tail around him. He was easily twice Onyx’s size, and he didn’t want that to scare her.