Eden

Golf is a lot of things. Boring, a waste of water resources, an absolute bullshit privatization of land, but also it's just the least sexy sport on earth. No blood or sweat or grime involved. Just one bitch standing in the dumbest way possible to swing a stick. Absolute loser behavior.

Katy Perry just grabbed me by the back of the neck and put my head through a glass china cabinet

Nvm that was actually my father's ghost

i keep spending money. i should be killed

no i don’t hold onto resentment ever. Hope they die though however

“who is “they”?” They’ll know. they know what they’ve done

Takes a long drag of my nothibg

i'm about to overreact all over the goddamn living room

"i'd pay big money for that" - a phrase i like to use when i wouldn't pay money for anything

lol. jesus just tried to come back but he reincarnated as an ant and someone stepped on him. another 2000 years

ideal living situation is what i call the 'sitcom special' : having all your closest friends live in the same apartment building or neighborhood where you each have your own space but can wander in and out of eachothers homes at will, seemingly always welcome and never at bad times. and also all of you only have jobs when its important to the plot.

I bet it feels good as fuck to kick someone in the head as hard as you can if you’re a horse

Im just so frustrated bc it doesnt seem fair that your skills can degrade over time. i LEARNED IT😭

i’m in trenches you’ve never heard of

you’ll be happier than you expect