Nobody loves trouble as much as me

That’s a pretty impressive feat, if true. And I would totally count you as a– as a–… Um. Sorry, are you… making fun of me?

What? No. I’m shocked you would think I could ever do such a thing. [ hand on his heart ] Bonnie Brightman, I am asking you to prom.

Does a stack of flyers dressed in a suit count as a date? I think with everyone’s defenses down thinking about prom, I can sneak in some conversation about saving the bees. And maybe the Great Coral Reef while we’re at it?

Not to brag or anything, but I can make a pretty convincing stack of flyers in a suit and I definitely count as a date.

This is my last time being a senior so I think it’s mandatory to vote for me. Imagine Faye’s face if we were to win. 

“I’m fine. Just…Like, when every teacher assigns 45 minutes of homework a night, that’s almost four hours worth of homework, which is absurd. The biology homework won’t take me that long, but the math homework…Ugh. I need to reschedule my entire life.”

How did I end up taking such a long nap? I don’t have time to take a nap. — Or maybe this is just my chance to learn how to move at double speed. That’s humanly possible, right? As long as my heart believes.

As long as your heart believes. [ rolls his eyes ] Are you kidding me with that shit, Bon-Bon? Listen, are we going to get down with this study sesh, or are you finally going to get down with me? ‘Cause I can just leave?

It’s just walking. You walk all the time, Jess. Just slow do— [ and not for the first time since waking up this morning gasping in literal breaths, she tripped over her own feet ] Son of a bitch.

Jessica! Jessica! Jess- Jesus Christ. [ running up behind her as she almost falls over ] What the fuck, Jess? Seriously, what the fuck?

Listen, don’t make fun of me. I’m doing the best I can with my arms here and, anyway, I cry easily. It would just be insensitive, T-B-H.

What? Oh, I- Yvonne, I would never- You look great. You’re looking... great. Better than I could ever do. Please don’t cry. I don’t think I can deal with someone crying right now.

Excuse me. Look. I just want a drink. I don’t want to talk or whatever. But I guess that’s too much to ask for. Whatever.

Wow, um... Fair enough. I just wanted to ask if you’ve seen Jessica? Harvelle, not McArthur. I- Have you?

Oh my gosh, hi!

Hi, welcome. You look fantastic, have you had a glass yet? Here, let me get you one. You have to try this red, it’s got this chocolate-y undertone that you will love. And then there’s the actual chocolate, oh my god. And cheese. I have Daniel out getting more right now. Anyway, how are you?

I- Excuse me. Ex- Hey. Hi. I’m sorry, I- Do you have a minute, Mrs Moore? I’m really sorry to interrupt, but I was wondering if I could talk to you about Danny? I’ll be quick, I swear. You’ll be back to your hostly duties in no time at all, I promise.

Whoa, woah what’s with the third degree here!? Unless you’re gonna spank me next, please never say my name like that again. Look— This… This isn’t what it looks like! See, Lisa, Jess… Who’s house this is… MIA Jess… Is no longer! Yup. Jessica Harvelle is back. And that is what I was doing. Up there. [ grins ] How you doin’?

Shit, shit, shit.

Move it, I’m coming through. Coming— [ Naturally almost going head first into a poor unsuspecting bystander ] Whoa! My bad, bro. You didn’t see anything, yeah?

This is why I hate going out in public. I mean, what’s the point of living in a quote-unquote small town, if there’s always people everywhere?

Oh, come on. It’s not that bad. But hey, I’m glad I rad into you! That’s amazing about Evelyn, right? Can you believe she just woke up like that after all this time? How’s she doing? Do you know?

Oooh, the drinks are glowing, the lights are floating, is that confetti falling from the ceiling? Seriously Juliette, you turned seventeen, not five.