lua

i think the first step is acceptance. they are gone, you have done everything you could do, if they wanted to leave it’s their decision

try to understand the other person but don’t victimize them. sometimes they don’t even give you an explanation, you’ll have to accept that you might never know the reason even if that is what hurts you the most.

i wrote this last december, only a few weeks later i received the “explanation” i craved for, and i can say that it doesn’t change anything. actions were already done, you can forgive that person but you can’t forget the pain they put you through

more than half year later and a entire year after the first thing, i can say that everything passes, nothing hurts forever, and things always get better. you overcome that person you thought you could never, sadness turns into hate which turns into pity and ends up being indifference. and when you are at that point, where you feel worse for the person they are inevitably going to be their whole life than for what you have seen of them and what they have done to you, that’s when you know you are over it, over them.

and it’s incredibly satisfying, seeing everything fall in their place again. the universe is acting and time doesn’t stop. at the end, you see why that person had to fail you, why that other one left your life, and also who was there for you during all of it

last day of study🤞🏻

things are actually quite well honestly, i started college and i have made good friends and i love them so so much. actually, it’s the first time for a really long time, years (to be honest i don’t even remember the last time, probably i was just a kid or not even) that i am happy, like truly happy, and not just for a couple days but for fully months (without counting with few bad days that everyone has).

i didn’t even remember how it felt to feel this way, it’s amazing. i am just where i want to be, i know where i want to go, i look at the future in a positive and optimistic way and it’s just trusting the process and letting it all happen

i still keep thinking about that and him and it hurts me. but instead of making me feel little and vulnerable (which is how i feel sometimes), i have empowered myself and it has helped me to learn the limits i don’t want to cross in future situations. i’m more confident than i was and i need less men approval than before (who needs men’s opinion in 2021 anyways🥴), i know my value

and i think the best thing i have realized after all of this is that, unlike other people (him), i haven’t stop believing in love, or people. i still think love is the most beautiful thing in the world and it’s what truly moves people. it’s so sad seeing people turning down their feelings bc they have been hurt. i think that’s the reason why i don’t hate him, i still try to understand his acts and decisions even if they have hurt me more than i’d like to admit (prob bc i never really thought he could do that to me but that’s not the thing anyways). probably the only reason that makes me believe in love is the way i love, but that’s enough for me bc i know there are people out there that thinks the same way and it’s just about time that i encounter w them.

i have real friends that love me and support me and are there for everything and i value that a lot, i’m studying something i really like and i’m good at it, i enjoy the little things that life offers me and i attend my mental health and inner peace above anything

ok ok that’s a lot ik, but i felt like explaining things a little bit. anyways, i’ll try to write regularly on here bc i really like this format so yeah.