I don't really know what I'm doing with this.

Happy 100th birthday David Attenborough, you absolute bloody legend 💖💖💖💖💖

- sneezed wrong

- turned your neck a little too fast

- slept weird

- took the trash out to the curb and stepped at a slightly different angle than usual

- breathed

- failed to breathe properly

- breathed in the wrong stuff. Allergy time

- looked too hard at something too far away

1. Living Stones

these plants imitate rocks. who does that?

imagine deciding to straight up evolve into rocks as a defense mechanism. i had a whole rant planned but now i’m remembering that i have, in the past, on multiple occasions, daydreamed about being a rock. like that has been a recurring theme in my rich inner fantasy life. i would not forsake the opportunity to evolve into a stone.

2. Hooker’s Lips

ostentatious. flamboyant. vulgar. garish. randy. dare i say whorish? yes. this plant is whorish.

pucker up you hussy

3. Hoya Hearts

overused trope. lacks subtlety and creativity. truly, they just went with the first thought to pop in their head, no brainstorming involved. “ho ho ho i’m just gonna grow into a fucking HEART, that’ll show em!” Needy & basic bitch. looks cute on a desk

4. Lifesaver Plants

manages to be both psychedelic and disapproving. reminiscent of a prudish great aunt–but like, one who did a lot of LSD in the 70s. evidence of an alien lifeform who crash landed and then decided, fuck it, i’m gonna rent a one-story in the midwest and decorate it with vintage wood paneling & floral upholstery. probably smells like stale weed and glass ashtrays

5. Happy Alien Flowers

yes that is their NAME. sort of anticlimactic, but take a gander:

they are absolute sluts for drama, as demonstrated by the little hussies pictured above are YELLING AT ME. they bring to mind seagulls engaged in a Shakespearean blood feud. this flowers have committed aggravated manslaughter and probably got away with it too.

6. Bat Plant 

aka Cat’s Whiskers aka Devil Flower. how fucking emo is that??? this plant listens to mcr and is probably the gay cousin. they never got the hang of eyeliner but that doesn’t stop them from trying, bless em. their impetuous devil-may-care persona is hindered by their crippling social anxiety. i’m immensely fond of this plant. they’ll come into their own once they graduate and move away from college, but in the mean time they sit with the tech crew at lunch. you go little Bat Plant! 

 7. Dancing Plants

total band kids. also called Semaphore Plants, bc they look like they’re trying to flag down a plane. nifty fuckers 

When I said it was birdseed she just went “oh- can they actually eat that? Is that safe?”

I didnt know how to respond like, at all, so I just pointed at the duck and said “bird”

I just wanna say it's so disheartening to see all the posts where people are like "if they cast so-and-so as a marauder, I'm watching" or "i support trans rights but I'm still watching it" or "it's my childhood, i have to watch it". It's not even just the main fandom, it's the subfandoms too. As if everyone forgot their boycotts the moment the trailer and subsequent info was released, which is exactly what I felt would happen.

It says a lot about the world today.

Sure, keep putting money into J.K's antitrans work, because that's what you're doing by watching the show.