untitled feelings

What if my narrative would bring us to the end? Will I ever be the one that you see?

Happy Valentine's Day! I hope you love yourself just as much as I do 💓

i’ve never been in a romantic relationship, never has any sort of romantic experience in my life and at this point i feel like maybe theres something about me that people don’t want to be around. im always told “it’ll happen when you least expect it” and even “you won’t find love until you love yourself” and that particular statement, however amount of truth it holds, makes me feel bad. am i not lovable just bc i don’t love myself at my fullest capacity? i also don’t have many friends and the ones i have, i always initiate conversations and eventually the conversations die out until i start them up again. it becomes tiring and emotionally overwhelming to be the one who always starts the conversations. sometimes i wish i’d be on the receiving end of friendship. i fear loneliness will be something i’ll be living with and i hate that.

The road ahead is winding, and I hate myself for trying.. trying to be more than what we are.

It's 2022 and I still fucking like you.

I have some friends, like people I used to call close friends. And I can't talk to any of them. Every time I think of sending them a text it feels like I'm being pushy, and needy. I was so happy thinking that they're all I'll ever need, that I have basically no idea how to communicate with new people, make new friends. They have other people to talk to, they're way more confident than I am, and I'm a really minor, irrelevant part of their lives now. So now I'm stuck feeling lonely all the time with no way to fix the situation. What should I do?