welcome to wonderland

Jungwon's hands, large and gentle, were clenched on his thighs, his knuckles turned white from the force of his grip. His eyes, dark pools of emotion, darted from your face to the curves of your body, and back again, a silent conversation passing between you.

Your fingers toyed with the fabric of your top, the pads of your fingertips tracing the delicate fabric, as if seeking the courage to reach out and touch him. You watched Jungwon's lips, full and soft, as he spoke, memorizing every word that passed between you.

"May I...?" Jungwon's voice was barely a whisper, his words laced with hesitation. His eyes met yours, a silent question hanging in the air between you. He reached out, his hand slow and deliberate, his fingers brushing against your wrist.

You nodded, your throat too tight to speak. His touch was warm, his fingers wrapping around your wrist, his thumb gently brushing against your pulse. He guided your hand to his chest, his own heartbeat a rapid drum against your palm. "I'm nervous," he confessed, his voice low.

You could feel the taut muscles beneath his shirt, his chest rising and falling with each shallow breath. His eyes were locked onto yours, his expression a mix of vulnerability and desire. You slid your hand upwards, your fingers tracing the line of his collarbone before wrapping around the back of his neck.

He leaned in, his eyes fluttering closed as he neared your lips. "I've wanted to do this for so long," he murmured, his breath hot against your skin. Your lips met, a soft, hesitant kiss that quickly turned into something more.

His arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer as the kiss deepened. You could feel his heart pounding in a steady rhythm against yours, his grip tightening as he traced your bottom lip with his tongue. His touch was electric, sending tingles down your spine that made your head spin.

You gasped as he broke the kiss, your chests rising and falling in sync. His eyes were dark, pupils dilated with desire and a hint of mischief. "Shall we continue this inside?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

You nodded, your voice barely a whisper as you responded, "Yes, please." Your eyes fluttered closed as his hands slid down to your waist, lifting you effortlessly from the chair. You wrapped your legs around his waist, your arms around his neck as he carried you towards the bedroom.

The room was dimly lit, the only sound the soft rustling of clothes as Jungwon laid you down on the bed. He stood over you, his eyes roaming over your face before he slowly removed his shirt, revealing his toned chest and abs.

You bit your lip, your eyes taking in every inch of him as he slowly crawled onto the bed. "You're so beautiful," he murmured, his hands reaching for the hem of your shirt. "May I?" His voice was soft, his eyes meeting yours for permission.

You nodded, your breath hitching in your throat as he slowly peeled your shirt off, his fingers brushing against your skin. He leaned down, his lips pressing against your collarbone, his hands sliding up your sides to unhook your bra. "You're so perfect,"

Your breasts spilled free from their confines, his hands cupping them gently, his thumbs brushing against your hardened nipples. The peaks taut and begging for his touch.

Jungwon's mouth moved lower, his lips wrapping around your right nipple while his hand teased the other. He sucked on it gently, swirling his tongue around the peak while his fingers pinched and rolled the other nipple between them.

Your back arched off the bed, your body responding to his touch instinctively. Your fingers threaded through his hair, tugging gently and encouraging him to continue. Jungwon's free hand made its way down your torso, tracing a path over your stomach until he reached the waistband of your pants.

His touch was gentle, his fingers trembling slightly as he unbuttoned your pants and slowly slid the zipper down. He glanced up at you, his eyes seeking permission once more. You nodded, your own hands shaking as you reached for his belt, mirroring his actions.

Together, you both undressed each other, each touch tentative and filled with desire. When you were both bare, Jungwon settled between your thighs, his eyes locked onto yours. "I...I've never done this before," he confessed, his voice barely a whisper. "I want you so much."

Jungwon threw the last piece of cloth off, his cock sprang free from his boxers, the mushroom tip already glistening with precum. He quickly tore open a condom wrapper, rolling it down his shaft with practiced ease.

But as soon as he attempted to enter you, the condom burst, slick with his premature release. Jungwon let out a frustrated groan, discarding the ruined condom aside and reaching for another one. You couldn't help but giggle softly at the sight, finding his flustered state utterly adorable.

Jungwon leaned forward, his eyes locked on yours as he positioned himself between your legs. He reached down, running the mushroom tip of his leaking cock against your wetness, smearing the precum around your pussy lips and slicking himself up.

"You're so wet," he breathed, his voice husky with desire. "Is that all for me?" He asked, his fingers spreading your folds apart to reveal your swollen, needy flesh. He ran his thumb over your entrance, pressing it inside you as he slowly pumped it in and out.

"Y-Yes, all for you," you stammered, your face flushing with embarrassment. Jungwon's touch was clumsy, his inexperience evident as he tried to prepare you for him. He pushed another finger inside, scissoring them to stretch you wider.

"It-It's not enough," he muttered, more to himself than to you. He withdrew his fingers, bringing them to his mouth and sucking your nectar off of them. Your eyes widened at the gesture, your heart pounding in your chest. "Tastes like you,"

Jungwon positioned the tip of his cock at your entrance once more, his hand shaking slightly as he tried to align himself. He pushed forward, his thick head bumping against your tight ring of muscles. "Fuck, you're so small,"

"I-I know," you replied, biting your lower lip as you stared up at him. "It's my first time after all," you whispered, reaching out to place a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

Jungwon groaned, his face contorting in concentration as he tried to force his way inside. He pushed, and pushed, his cockhead stretching your delicate hymen to its breaking point. Finally, with a sharp pop, he broke through, the head of his dick sinking into your tight, virgin pussy.

"Oh god, it's so tight," he hissed, his hands gripping your thighs tightly. He looked up at you, his eyes filled with uncertainty. "Is it hurting you?" He asked softly, his voice barely a whisper. You nodded, but wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him deeper.

Jungwon's breath hitched as he was pulled closer, his cock sinking deeper into your tight heat. He could feel your walls stretching to accommodate him, the pressure incredible. He looked down at where you two were connected, his dick disappearing into your tiny pussy. "Fuck, you're so fucking tight,"

He began to move slowly, his hips pulling back before thrusting forward again. His rhythm was uncoordinated, his movements clumsy as he struggled to find a comfortable pace. But with each thrust, he became bolder, his hips snapping forward harder, burying himself to the hilt inside of you.

You moaned, your back arching as his cock struck every sensitive spot inside of you. His hands moved to cup your breasts, squeezing and kneading them as he fucked you. Your walls began to clench around him, tighter with each passing moment as pleasure rolled through your body.

Jungwon leaned down, pressing his lips against yours in a deep, passionate kiss. His fingers left your breasts and slid down your body, slipping between your slick folds to find your swollen clit. He began to rub the sensitive nub gently as he continued to fuck you slowly.

You broke the kiss, panting heavily. "I love you so much," you whispered, your voice trembling with emotion. Jungwon's heart swelled in his chest, his love for you overwhelming him.

"And I love you too," he murmured, his breath hot against your skin. He began to rub your clit faster, feeling the walls of your pussy contract around his cock in response. Jungwon knew he wouldn't last much longer, not with the way you were responding to his touch.

You reached up, tangling your fingers in Jungwon's hair as he rubbed your clit and fucked you. "Don't stop," you begged, your hips bucking against him desperately. Jungwon kissed you again, his lips moving against yours as he rubbed your clit with one hand and fucked you with the other.

The pressure inside you grew unbearable, your body tensing as you climbed closer and closer to the edge. "Jungwon..." you whimpered, your voice barely a whisper. He nodded, his arms wrapping around you tightly as he increased the pressure on your swollen nub.

Your world narrowed down to the feeling of Jungwon's fingers on your clit and his cock buried inside you. The pressure became too much, and you came suddenly, your pussy spasming around his dick as you cried out in ecstasy.

Jungwon groaned against your neck, his own control snapping. He thrust into you twice more before burying himself to the hilt and coming inside you, his body shuddering with the force of his release. He slumped against you, his weight a comforting pressure on your body.

Jungwon lifted his head, looking into your eyes with a soft smile. He gently pulled out of you, both of you wincing at the sudden separation. He quickly disposed of the condom in the nearby trash can, returning to your side almost immediately.

You blushed, suddenly shy as you pulled the blankets over your naked body. Jungwon chuckled softly, leaning down to kiss your forehead. "Why so shy now?" He asked gently, his fingers entwining with yours beneath the blankets. "We just...you know...like that."

You hid your face in his chest, mumbling, "I know, but...it's different now. I'm not a virgin anymore. And you're...you're looking at me like you want to do it again." Jungwon laughed, his arms wrapping around you tightly.

"That's because I do," he admitted, his voice muffled against your hair. "But for now, let's just cuddle, okay?" He settled you against his chest, your head resting on his shoulder. "We have the rest of our lives to keep making love, after all."

You snuggled closer, your arms wrapping around him tightly. "I love you," you murmured contentedly. Jungwon tightened his grip on you, his love for you overflowing. "And I love you too," he replied, his voice filled with emotion.

He began to stroke your hair gently, his fingers running through the soft strands as you lay contentedly in his arms. Outside, the rain continued to pour, the sound a soothing lullaby that matched the rhythm of your breathing.

As you drifted off to sleep, nestled in Jungwon's arms, you knew that this was where you belonged. With him. Always. And in that moment, nothing else mattered. Not the storm outside, not the past, only the two of you and the love that bound you together.

Everybody at Hogwarts knew the name ‘Hwang y/n’, and if they didn’t? Well, clearly they’re due a trip to the infirmary. Ever since your first year at the infamous school you’d been in your brothers the spotlight, you’ve always been surrounded with ‘friends’ though you only truly trust a handful of them, most of them are pure meat riders… You’re not surprised that you’ve always been the centre of attention, being from one of the most prestigious families of the wizarding world, yet sometimes, only sometimes, you wished you weren’t so well know, weren’t always crowded with people, attempting to take advantage of you and your societal position. Of course, it came with its perks, you barely got into trouble at school, teachers were rather scared of your family’s not so subtle connection to the terrorising death eaters. You always got your way, no matter what, everyone did your bidding. And what you find to be the most enjoyable perk, the boys. Wherever you went within the school, a boy was always tailing you, trying to get into your pants none the less but who said that was a bad thing? How else would you have gotten yourself into this situation..?

Jake Sim, hogwarts golden boy, Grade A’s across the board, teachers pet if we’re being honest, currently leaning on his headboard, eyes lulled, lip between his bottom teeth to suppress his unholy noises as he watches you practically choke on his cock. Who would have thought the same boy who placed top of his class again last year would have a monster cock yet not know how to use it! Many people had deemed it impossible to sleep with Jake, he was always reserved and turned down anybodies advances, but impossible wasn’t in your vocabulary.

“f- fuck oh my god, Heeseung was right you do have a holy mouth,”

Your eyes snapped up at that comment, movements stilling, leading the boy to let out a groan, attempting to push your head further onto his cock.

“Come on yn, don’t be a kill joy, suck.”

That was what made you snap, pulling off of the now groaning boys dick,

“listen here Sim, I don’t know who you and your creepy friends think you are talking about me, but I’m leaving.”

You stormed out of the dorm, pulling on your sweater as you trudged down the cobblestone stairs to the ravenclaw common room, ignoring the boys protests calling after you. You stopped at the bottom of the stairs, fixing your hair as to make yourself presentable before being faced with Jakes roommates. You didn’t know who they were, you didn’t care either but you knew they’d be waiting to go into the room as it was 1AM yet Jake had wearily left a sock on the dorms door handle.

Fuck.

Out of all people he was the person you’d least like to see right now, of course one of Jake’s roommates would be Jungwon. You were trying to sleep with Jake to keep your mind off the boy who was currently staring at you doe eyed across the room. Jungwon, the only boy you’d ever truly been interested in, ever since first year you’d tried to make a move on him yet to no avail, he never seemed to have any interest in you at all! As the boy stared at you with a perplexed look you smiled, slightly biting your lip as to surpress your embarrassment, bowing as you made your way toward the door.

“Leaving so soon ynnie? Was hoping I could join you two later, get another taste hah,”

Heeseung voiced as he entered the common room, smirking, making his way towards you.

“Fuck you Heeseung,”

you snapped, not having the mental capacity to deal with his shit. You felt the tall boys hands find their way towards your hips, pulling you back to whisper into your ear.

“Come on yn! You’re such a slut I know you want another round with me hm?”

“Heeseung stop,”

you warned, eyes darting anywhere but the boy who watched your interaction with a slight frown. You watched from the corner of your eye, Jungwon leave his spot on the couch, ‘don’t go now!’ You silently begged as you felt Heeseungs hard on press firmly on your ass.

“Heeseung she clearly doesn’t want your crusty dick,”

You felt Jungwons soft hands pull you away from the, now irritated Heeseung, pushing you lightly out the dorms door, quietly following before leaning on the oak door. A comfortable silence settled between the two of you before he finally broke it, turning his body slightly towards you,

“Are you okay, yn?”

Just him saying your name made you want to drop to your knees and worship the ground he stood on,

“Yeah thanks won, also, I didn’t sleep with Jake you know,”

The boy smirked at you, raising his eyebrows and nodding slightly, clearly unconvinced,

“Sure you didn’t,”

You laughed shortly at his reaction before shifting your body closer to his,

“Really, I didn’t, I was going to sure but he was being a dick, it was pissing me off,”

Jungwons amused look stayed painted on his face, chuckling again before leaning back against the tall door. His head hung back against it, slightly turning to face you,

“Think that’s just dirty talk ynnie,”

You shook your head once more, assuring the boy that hes just a massive dick, pretending his nickname had no effect on you.

“You should go to your dorm, before Filch catches you,”

You nodded at the boy, pushing yourself up from your position leaning on the door, quietly bidding him goodbye before turning to walk back to your dorm,

“Night ynnie, sleep well,”

“Yn come on this is your chance!”

Karina repetitively tapped your arm, attempting to go and thank Jungwon for what happened at his dorm, trying to convince you that he’d definitely fold if you were all ‘my night in shining armour’ with him. No way that’d work, she did not know Jungwon, neither did you really but that’s beside the point. Yizhou had joined in now, shaking your arm as if it’d help convince you,

“If I go and talk to him, will you stop touching me,”

both girls pulled their arms up in record speed, nodding enthusiastically at your offer. You sighed, begrudgingly getting up though deep down your mind was circling with images of all the different reactions Jungwon could have to your comment. He was sat on his own in the great hall, head in his potions textbook, stirring a bowl of muesli with his finger, you didn’t realise he was so skilled in charms, or with his fingers,

“Hey won,”

You chimed, sitting down opposite him. His head moved up to look at you, eyes shortly following to look in your direction. Jungwon preferred you like this, with your uniform on, no cloak though, your hair was styled neatly, resting on your shoulders and your face hid a subtle rosy hue, you looked more like you, not like the act he swears you only drop when conversing with him, he wasn’t complaining,

“Hey yn, you okay?”

He sent a half smile your way, one hand holding his textbook open, the other still entertaining the bowl of oats and fruit that sat between the two of you,

“I just wanted to thank you for yesterday, I don’t know what I’d have done if you weren’t there,”

Jungwon smiled, sighing slightly as he watched you lean onto the table, one arm laying across the oak while the other curled around your hair, you tucked your lip underneath your teeth slightly, sending a smile his way, you could share you saw him swallow and poke his cheek with his tongue at your actions,

“It’s no problem, they’re my friends but I can admit they’re dicks,”

you nodded at the boy, slightly brushing his arm with the hand that lay across the table watching as he chuckled at your seemingly innocent action,

“Anything else yn?”

he questioned, wondering what else you could have up your sleeve,

“Was just wondering, is there anything I can do to thank you?”

There it is. Jungwon laughed, hand abandoning his breakfast to bring it to your face, tucking a loose hair behind your ear, relishing in how your face turned a pinkish colour at his touch, only he had that effect on you, only him,

“Ynnie, I’m not going to fuck you,”

Your eyes widened at the boys words, stumbling over your tongue in an attempt to justify your offer,

“NO- no I don’t mean- no like anything, some soju or something I don’t know,”

your voice got quieter the more you spoke to the boy, a blush now finding it’s way to your ears,

“You really wanna thank me?”

you nodded eagerly at the boys question, his hand still placed on your cheek. He pulled it away, bringing his attention back to his food,

“Stop failing transfiguration,”

You sighed, accepting defeat before pulling yourself up from the table,

“If you ever want your thank you, I’ll be here,”

you finally stated before scuttling away back to your table with your friends, probably telling them all about the interaction between the two of you, Jungwon revelled in the fact that you could have anyone you wanted in this school, yet you always wanted him, cute.

Anybody within the right mind hates potions, it truly was the worst subject. Could anybody really find sitting for an hour listening to Snape drone on about Dittany anything but excruciating? Jungwon could, clearly. The way he sat, looking at the professor with such intent made your heart swell. You’d always admired the way Jungwon was so serious about his schoolwork, you wished you could be as bright as him, but you had more important things to focus on! Him. Snapes voice brought you out of you daze, completely souring your mood,

“It has come to my attention that a few of my students are failing, and we cannot have that can we! Now if I call your name please take this into account, Nishimura Riki, Jeong Aran, Hong Eunchae, Song Eunseok, Lee Sohee, Yizhou Ning, and Hwang yn,”

You looked at the girl beside you, both grimacing at the fact you were failing yet another subject. Yizhou fell dramatically into your lap, groaning about how her dad would kill her, you pat her head reassuring her it’ll be fine, though you aren’t completely sure yourself,

“Right! Time for you to make your own Dittany potions, you know the drill partner up!”

You and Yizhou stood up, collecting your belongings before making your way towards a work bench. As you reached the workspace you heard a draining voice from behind you,

“No, no, no, no, no! You two are not working together again! Not after last time, and you’re both failing. Yizhou you work with Sunghoon, Yn you work with Heeseung,”

Your heart dropped at the boys name, Yizhou looking at you in surprise while trying to bargain with the stubborn professor. As Heeseung made his way towards you, his face dripping with arrogance, you just wished you could slap some reality into him.

“Well well well yn, we meet again! You know, I could help you not be such a failure, gonna have to work for it though,”

He smirked, voice laced with false charm. You declined his offer, obviously, going to collect everything needed for your potion while also attempting to spend as much time possible away from the draining boy.

Jungwon had noticed Heeseung and you from the minute he made his way over to your bench, warily watching the way you reacted to the boys snide remarks. As soon as you left to collect your ingredients, he took it as an opportunity to save you from the situation. Making his way to Heeseung, Jungwon attempted to justify why he was helping you so much, landing on the fact that it’d be fun to cockblock his big headed friend once more. “Hey man, would you mind if I work with yn instead? I really need to talk to her, it’s important,”

Heeseung grimiced yet complied, not wanting to argue with the stern faced boy. Letting out one last sigh, he collected his things and made his way over to Jungwons previous place next to Sunoo. As your figure made its way closer to the workbench Jungwon could swear he felt his heart beat quicker, it was just you? “Wonnie? What are you doing here?”

you questioned while wrongly arranging the supplies for your potion, not so accidentally brushing against Jungwon in the process,

“Just thought you wouldn’t want to work with Heeseung after, well you know,”

he admitted, turning away from you as to bask away his slight blush, what was wrong with him! It was just you. You moved closer to the boy, trapping him close to you by placing your hands on the counter either side of him, leaning impossibly closer to quietly mutter,

“That’s so thoughtful won! You’re just so nice hm?”

Jungwon chuckled, taking your hands into his before placing them onto your chest,

‘It doesn’t mean anything ynnie, I’m just not a dick!”

You nodded at the boy, eyes slightly widening with skeptic. The two of you worked on your potion until the end of lesson, conversing ever so often though Jungwon was not good at replying to you, completely focused on your concoction, maybe his studies sometimes got the best of him. As the bell rang, signalling the end off lesson, you turned once again toward the boy,

“Any plans for the weekend Wonnie? Will I see you at the dorm party?”

Jungwon chuckled again at your advances, nodding lightly before modelling your previous actions, trapping you between you and the counter, taking hold of the test tube rack behind of you,

“It’s either that or smoke weed for hours on end with Jay and Sunghoon so yeah, I’ll be there,”

You looked down, flustered at your close proximity as you felt the boy pull away and grab his bag before finally patting your head,

“See you later ynnie!”

“Oh my god ynnie, if you wear that he’ll for sure fuck you,”

Aeri was convinced that Jungwon would be tempted by you in the skimpy black dress, having slipped it into your decision making process a good 3 times so far.

“no he won’t! He’ll just think I’m a whore..”

Karina let out a chocked laugh at that, explaining that if he was going to think that of you, he already would having seen you in and out of his dorms a good 6 times this term. You groaned, sliding off of your bed onto the hard floor, letting your eyes close as you composed yourself to face Aeris’ menacing look once more. Finally opening your eyes you were caught off by Minjeongs face directly infront of yours,

“WEAR THE DRESS YN!”

your eyes widened at the outburst from the usually composed girl, damn this dress must be a horcrux or something?

“If Min approves of it then you have to yn,”

You sighed, finally giving into defeat as you snatched the dress from Aeri. As you made your way to the bathroom to get changed you warned the girls that if you don’t look good it’s all their fault.

-

“Oh my- if I were Jungwon I’d fuck you, that’s all I’m going to say,”

you giggled slightly at your friends heart eyed reactions, you had to give it to Aeri, the dress was gorgeous, it hugged your body in all the right places yet it still left a good amount to the imagination. The five of you sat doing your hair and makeup, one at a time getting changed and having dramatic reactions to one and other, Rina fell off her chair more than once….

“The party starts at 11 so get there 11:45? We cannot be the first to a griffindoor party, well probably be mauled!”

Yizhuo warned as you finished straightening her hair. Minjeong told her that she was being mean and that some Griffindoors were actually normal. You sometimes wondered how you became friends, being so different, yet you loved her all the same.

“Eugh! Why is the floor so sticky?”

The Griffindoor dorms were always your least favourite place to be, for some reason they all had some kind of weird hatred for you, you weren’t actually a deatheater yourself! You turned to Karina as she debated on which boy to go for tonight,

“Oh! What about him he’s so hot!”

you laughed at the girls reaction, you’d think she was choosing which lolly she wanted, not which dick. You told the girl who her chosen cock was, dragging her over in his direction,

“Hey Hao! Have you met my friend Karina?”

you smiled watching the two gravitate closer and closer to one another, another perk of being well known! You scan the room looking for Jungwon though he’s nowhere to be seen, maybe he was smoking pot with his friends after all. You felt a tug on your waist, hoping it would be won, it wasn’t.

“Hey yn, seems the universe just wants us together hey? You gonna lemme hit yet?”

You make a disgusted face at the boy, attempting to push him away. He tightly pulled you back towards him, tightly gripping your hips. He pulled you into him, pressing your head onto his shoulder while his hands stayed secure around your hips, one of them subtly moving to your ass. You rolled your eyes as you slightly entertained the boy, dancing with him though not liking the way his hands roamed your body. Heeseung brought his hands to your face, closing his eyes as he pushed his puckered lips to your persed ones. “Heeseung stop!”

you muffled, trying to push away from him though to no evail, the boy only kissed you further, pushing his tongue into your mouth with no rhythm at all.

“Fuck- stop resisting yn! Just fucking take it,”

As you were about to attempt to push the boy once more, you felt his presence get ripped from next to you. Heeseung groaned at the sight of his younger friend, knowing he was fucked.

“Come on man, just let me be!”

he pleaded, watching Jungwons stern look become impossibly more irritated. He took that as his sign to walk away, not stopping himself from slapping your butt as he passed you. After avoiding eye contact you finally looked into Jungwons eyes, yours filled with embarrassment and his worry with a hint of anger. “Sorry won,”

You mutter, stepping closer to him as you watched his eyes soften at your words,

“Yn, you don’t need to be sorry, it’s him who’s a dick,”

you nod lightly, expecting the boy to leave you after one final remark. As your eyes flicker to the ground between the two of you Jungwon took your silence as an invitation to take your hand into his, pulling you into an open area of the dorm. A small balcony, secluded from the rest of the party yet entirely exposed to the remainder of the castle.

You watched as Jungwon sat him self in the chair placed in the corner of the balcony, pulling out a cigarette, quickly lighting it before pulling it between his lips. You leaned yourself back on the railing of the terrace, your body turned towards the sitting boy. Jungwon noticed your stare quickly (he was looking at you too) and he brought his cigarette up to you as if to offer it, you shook your head lightly before turning to look out at the school grounds.

After a few minutes of silence you heard Jungwons cigarette drop to the floor, followed by his foot crushing any remaining ashes. The boy stood up and made his way over to you, placing his hands either side of you before leaning next to your ear,

“Are you okay now?”

you shuddered lightly at the feeling of his hot breath on your neck, leaving any hairs to stand on end,

“Yeah, I’m okay now, thanks wonnie,”

Jungwon felt his heart tighten, the way you said his name, turned to face him and sent your signature smile, it all made his heart flutter. The boy hummed as his hands made their way down your body, feeling the fabric of your dress while his eyes racked your figure,

“Like this,”

he muttered, his hands tugging lightly at the fabric that clung to your body, You smiled up a the boy, hand making its way to the back of his head, pulling it closer to yours,

“Why don’t you take it off then?”

that was all Jungwon needed, he immediately crashed his lips onto yours, teeth lightly nipping at your bottom lip, forcing your mouth open to rhythmically dance his tongue with yours. The boys hands found their way quickly underneath your dress, hooking his fingers on your panties, grazing his fingertips against your core before stilling his movements all together,

“You sure about this?” he questioned, panting while his knee pushed its way between your two legs, you harshly nodded, looking up at the boy. Jungwon sighed against you,

“Gotta use your words princess,”

You groaned as you begrudgingly chocked out a,

“P-please,”

Jungwon felt his cock grow even more at the sound of your soft yet hourse voice,

“Hmm please what?”

You groaned again at the boys teasing, bringing your hand to his hard on, rubbing him through his pants. Jungwons eyes widened as he unintentionally bucked his cock into your hand,

“Please, fuck me Jungwon,”

You tell him confidently, watching as the boys smirk fell again at the feeling of you palming him while pulling his pants down to a midpoint on his thigh.

“F-fuck yn!”

he breathed out, head falling and eyes rolling back as his mouth hung open, ever so often groans slipping out while you continued your actions. After some times of palming Jungwon through his boxers, you slowly fall to your knees infront of him, revelling in the way his eyes grew with anticipation. The two of you made eye contact as you painstakingly slowly pulled his underwear down to reveal his cock. Jungwon had to look away after some time,it was all getting to intense.

“Look at me,”

you ordered, snickering as you watched Jungwons trembling face meet yours, chest rising and falling as he tried to calm himself. You remained in eye contact with the boy as you started to place light kisses against his tip, tracing the veins up and down his shaft with your tongue. You felt jungwons hand creep around to grab at your chin, positioning your mouth at the tip of his dick, letting out a chocked,

“f-fuck, yn please just- fuck,”

You finally took his dick into your mouth, looking up at him through your eyelashes as his hand made its way to your hair, pushing you down on his cock, forcing a gag out of you which just made him buck into you harder. You continued to suck his cock, ever so often pulling away to fixate on his tip, spitting on it as his whines got bigger and higher,

“g-gonna cum, you gonna swallow it? be good for me yeah baby?”

you nodded against his cock, wetness growing between your thighs at the nickname. Jungwon pushed your head against his cock a few more times before finally letting out a low groan, shooting his load down your throat. You swallowed anything in your mouth, opening your mouth to show the boy who was still recovering from his intense orgasm. The boy pulled you to your feet, kissing you once again as he put his dick back inside his trousers,

“My friends will be wondering where I am, I’ll talk to you soon ynnie,”

you smiled at the boy, watching as he opened the patio door, quickly disappearing behind it. What had just happened? Had you seriously just given Yang Jungwon the suck of his life then let him disappear back to the party? Well, at least one thing was for certain, he owed you.

“YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME?”

Sunoo screamed at the top of his lungs,

“You’re telling me, that THE Hwang Yn just gave you the suck of a lifetime and instead of repaying the favour, you disappear into the fucking night?”

Jungwon looked that the boy, pulling the joint from between his lips. He smirked slightly before admitting,

“Yeah? I mean she’s always ogling me and I suppose she can put her mouth to good use?”

Jungwon stifled a laugh as the boys jaw dropped,

“You don’t understand how lucky you are Jungwon, yn doesn’t want people, people want her, she’s fucking obsessed with you!”

Jungwon shook his head at the older boys words, explaining that he’d rather focus on his studies rather than ‘some girl’. “Jungwon, she isn’t some girl! She’s like gold!”

jungwon rolled his eyes once more, inhaling another drag of the blunt between his lips,

“You seem to be fucking in love with her, you go after her if you want her so bad,”

Sunoo simply shook his head, laughing at the boys words before snatching the joint from his hand,

“I would if I could Won, she only wants you though, I’ll catch you later man, gonna go and see if i can find Riki,”

Jungwon waved his friend goodbye, tapping out the blunt and making his way back to his dorm, it didn’t mean anything between the two of you did it? Sunoo was being dramatic, you weren’t obsessed with him, just wanted to sleep with him, right?

4 days ago you gave Yang Jungwon a blowjob, yet he hasn’t ushered a word to you, nor has he even looked in your direction. You even made the effort to go up to him in the library, asking him if he was having a good day, yet the boy looked at you, rolled his eyes, and walked away. You were determined to make sure that you being on your knees for him was not your last interaction.

“Hi Sunghoon!” you called out, silently laughing at the way the boys eyes widened at your voice, he greeted you back, moving his studying materials out of your way as you sat on top of his table,

“So, you know the dorm parties each Friday?”

Sunghoon hummed in agreement, looking up at you with anticipation,

“Well, I was hoping you guys could host it this week! I feel like I haven’t been there in ages,”

you winked at the boy, hoping it would remind him of the time you spent together in his dorm. It did.

“Oh! Yeah sure ynnie, anything else?” you shook your head at the question, hoping off the table before winking at the boys flustered face and toddling back over to your waiting friends,

“bye hoonnie!”

As you walk through the ravenclaw dorms you feel Karina tug on your sleve,

“Ynnieeeee, come on he’s probably in his dorm come and have some funnn,”

you laugh slightly at the girls drunken state, waving her comment off as you continued to scan the room for him. You slightly registered Jisoo wandering away from you, probably towards some guy, not acknowledging it though as finally spotted Jungwon and his friends in the corner of the common room. You were about to go and talk to him when you realised, you gave him head? He should come to you, a real gentleman would be eager to return the favour!

-

As the night went on Jungwon was yet to approach you, he knew you were there, you’d made eye contact, he just wasn’t making the effort. You’d danced with a fair share of boys, though none of them interesting, sometimes looking over at Jungwon only to see him staring daggers into the back of the random ravenclaws head who happened to be letting his hands wander lower and lower before you pulled away. But when you looked over, the boy was already preoccupied with one of his friends, as if he didn’t just look like he could kill. You stood for a while, wondering if this was all worth it, if he was worth it, worth all of your time when he can’t even look at you on his own acord.

Suddenly a pair of hands found their way to your waist, turning you around to meet his eyes, his eyes. “Oh hello,” you contort, “finally came to talk to me?”

You watched as Jungwon stuttered, slightly taken back at your boldness,

“Well my friends told me to so,”

Oh. It wasn’t that he’d finally decided to talk to you, it was his friends. You know that you probably should push him away right now, tell him to just fuck off. But it’s Jungwon. “Well,” you mumble, draping your arms around his neck, “you still owe me wonnie!”

Jungwon smirked, he knew this was coming,

“Oh really? What exactly do I owe you hm?”

You smirked at the boys change in attitude, though it was whipped off of you face as you felt the boys hot breath against your neck, the smell of alcohol, cigarettes and weed lingering off his person. Your breath hitched as he leaned into your ear,

“What do you want in return hm? Want me to fuck you? Want me to use my fingers? I always see you staring at them so it wouldn’t surprise me,”

you swallowed harshly and watched out the corner of you eye as Jungwons tongue peeked out and brushed against his lip,

“I- I don’t know,”

you muttered, sinking deeper into yourself as the boy let out a chuckle,

“You know, you act so bold yet as soon as I talk to you you crumble, so cute,”

you felt as the blush that had set itself on your cheeks the minute Jungwon approached you grew a darker shade as crimson, letting out a whine only loud enough for Jungwons ears at his teasing,

“Come on ynnie, just tell me what you want,”

Jungwons hands tightened their grip against your hips, pulling you impossibly closer towards him, hoping you could feel his cock against your stomach. Your eyes rolled back at the contact, head flopping down onto his shoulder,

“Just want you,”

You felt Jungwons deep chuckle down your ear and before you could comprehend you were being dragged up the dorms stairs into his room. As soon as the doors shut you felt Jungwons body pressed against yours, leaning on the door. His lips slowly traveled down your neck as he unbuttoned your shirt, stopping momentarily to suck harsh marks into your neck. As you let out a pathetic moan Jungwon peeled your shirt off your body, swallowing harshly at the sight of your lace-clad tits. “You’re so hot,”

He mumbled out, letting his lips find yours again before nipping at your lip, leading to you letting out a raspy moan. Jungwon took the opportunity to slip his tongue between your lips, licking against your own as a mix of your saliva began dripping out of your mouths. Never had anyone made out with you so messily and it was going straight to your core. As Jungwons hands wandered to the zipper on your jeans your hands found the hem of his shirt, silently begging him to take it off so that you wouldn’t be the only person undressed. Jungwon pulled away to fling his shirt above his head and discard it across his shared dorm. You took the opportunity to shimmy down your jeans leaving you in your underwear only.

“Fuck,”

Jungwon breathed out, he knew you were attractive but under the dim blue lighting of his dorm you looked ethereal, no way you were real.

You felt as the impatient boy pulled you towards his bed, flopping against it before pulling you against him. You giggled slightly at his movements, shifting slightly to straddle the boy, leaving your hands on his chest.

“So,” he started, “Can I eat you out?”

You were taken aback, out of all of your hookups no boy had ever asked if he could eat you out, you’d always had to ask them or it didn’t happen. You looked back at Jungwon, heart softening at his glazed over eyes,

“You want to eat me out?”

Jungwon laughed lightly at your question, how could he not? You were beautiful how could you not taste like heaven?

“Yeah of course, do you want me to?”

you could hear the hesitation in his voice, indicating that he was really hoping you’d say yes, cute.

“Fuck yes please,”

The bewildered look on the boys face was quickly replaced by his signature smirk, guiding your hips up as he pulled down your panties, revealing your perfect pussy to him.

“Can you, um, can you sit on my face?”

oh my god. No way Yang Jungwon has just asked you to sit on his face? Why was he so perfect? No other boy had ever wanted you to do that, ever. You avoided his eyes before mumbling,

“I mean, no one’s ever asked me that and I don’t want to hurt you!”

Jungwons eyes widened, no one had.. what! He hooked his hands around your hips, pulling you until you were hovering above him. “Trust me,” he muttered, mesmerised by the way your folds were glistening, “you’re not going to hurt me baby,”

you let out a moan at the nickname, feeling Jungwon reach up and lick between your folds,

“So wet and I’ve barely done anything, sit.”

Your head leant back at the boys harsh words as you hesitantly sat until you could feel the boys breath against your core. Clearly though, that wasn’t enough as Jungwon pulled you down against his flat tongue moaning at the feeling of you against him. You instinctively grinded against the boys tongue, hand shooting towards his hair to tug and pull as you please.

Jungwons tongue plunged in and out of your cunt, relishing at the noises leaving your mouth. His nose bumped perfectly against your clit, letting you let out a moan of his name and a harsh pull on his locks. Jungwon let out a moan at your actions and let his hand wander to your free one, holding it firmly. The feeling of him moaning sent strong vibrations throughout your body, leaving you grasping at his hair again, pulling his hand to rest against your thigh. Jungwons movements sped up, frequently getting egged on by your moans of his name and tugs of his hair,

“Jungwon please, oh my-, gonna cum f- fuck!”

Jungwon moaned again at your words, actions speeding up as he brought his free hand around to rub quickly against your clit, feeling your cunt clench as a collection of spit and arousal spilt down his chin. You started fidgeting away from his mouth as your overwhelming orgasm approached, forcing Jungwon to abandon your clit and hand to pull your thighs firmly against his mouth. All it took was one final bump of his nose against your clit for you to be spazzaming around his tongue, cum dribbling down Jungwons chin and into his mouth. He licked against you a few more times before pulling you off his face, taking a few deep breaths before getting up to go to his sink, washing off his face. “Any good for your first time?”

he teased, giggling at your fucked out face, you nodded, still in post-orgasm bliss. You felt the bed beside you dip and Jungwon sat next to you, he pulled your face towards his before leaning close, placing a kiss on your lips,

“Still want me to fuck you?”

You let out a groan, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you clambered atop of the cocky boy. Jungwons eyes widened slightly at your boldness, his ring clad hands finding solace against your hips.

“Of course I do Wonnie, you know, since you made me cum so hard, why don’t you chose how you want to have me?”

you whispered the last part down his ear, making sure to send your hot breath his way in the meantime. Jungwon let out a deep chuckle, bringing his hand to your pussy, teasing at how wet you were again, the mix of your cum, arousal and his spit still lingering,

“How about, you ride me? Think you can do that baby?”

Before you could answer him, Jungwon was lying back against his headboard and leading your hands towards his zipper, he was painfully hard now, not ashamed to admit he very nearly came untouched at the mere taste of your pussy. You fumbled down his zipper, laughing slightly as he lifted his hips to pull down his pants. You shifted slightly so that you were sat directly on top of his bulge, both of you hissing at the feeling, to test the waters you grided slightly against him, though shocked when Jungwons cold hands stilled your movements,

“As much as I don’t want to stop you pretty, if you keep doing that I’m gonna calm before I’m even inside of you, need you now baby,”

You laughed once more at the boys desperation, lifting your hips to pull his boxers down and set his hard cock free from its confinements. Jungwon let out a hiss as the cold air hit his cock, mumbling again how he just wanted you. Not wanting to tease the boy any more you lifted your hips, positioned him at your entrance and sank down onto him. Jungwon let out a hiss at the feeling, eyes rolling backwards and jaw going slack,

“Oh my god- so fucking tight yn, if you keep sucking me in like that no way I’ll last long,”

you moaned at the boys confession, squeezing harshly around him just to hear him whine again. He was so fucking hot. You felt as Jungwons hands held your hips, pushing you up off of his cock before slamming you right back down again. The feeling of his cock dragging deliciously against your walls had the both of you groaning and whining. You continued the ministrations, bouncing up and down on his cock as he pulled you closer to him, pushing his lips hard against yours. “Fuck,”

you muttered against his lips, a burning feeling starting to creep into your thighs. As you continued bouncing on his cock you could feel your movements slowing, the burning of your thighs becoming too tired to continue,

“Jungwon, can’t do it- fuck- help please,”

Jungwon let out a deep groan, not warning you before flipping you over onto your back, keeping his cock nestled inside of you while hovering above you. Jungwons movements had stilled, his hand coming to pull your lips apart, he leaned closer to you, letting a glob of spit travel from his mouth to yours, you immediately swallowed it, letting out a moan at the feeling of his saliva dribbling down your throat. “Such a good fucking girl,”

he muttered, dragging his cock out of you until it was just the tip left inside. He lent down to kiss you before slamming into you, keeping a relentless pace as he pulled his face back to watch your face contort at his actions. “I- fuck fuck fuck fuck Jungwon I’m going to cum ohmygod,”

The boy laughed once more, his hand that had previously parted your lips, making its way down to your clit, as he continuously flicked your bud he relished in the way your cunt tightened against him, whining again as he felt his orgasm creep up on him. You reached your hands round to his back, scratching deeply as you felt Jungwon hit your g-spot one last time. You let out an outrageously loud moan as your orgasm came over you, the feeling of your cunt pulsating around his dick sent Jungwon into the same euphoric feeling as he shot his load deep into your cunt.

Jungwon kept thrusting into you shallowly, riding out your orgasms before pulling out and flopping on top of you.

“I- I should probably walk you back to your dorm, Jake’ll want to come to bed soon so, you get it,”

You nodded at his words saw the boy pushed himself off of you and went to grab a wet cloth, he cleaned off the two of you, pulling on a pair of his own underwear and pyjama pants before turning his attention to you. “You can wear some of my clothes, I don’t mind I just want you to be comfortable,”

you smiled softly at the boys words, nodding while sitting up and smiling at him. He helped you into some of his boxers, a pair of socks and a T-shirt that traveled below your knees. The boy pulled another shirt over his head before he mumbled,

“I’ll walk you back, who knows who’ll be wandering at this time of night, the parties well over but I’m guessing some people will still be looking to get off,”

You laughed slightly at his comment, nodding as you went to stand up. Much to your avail though as the minute you went to stand your legs felt as though they’d turned to jelly, you wobbled slightly before you tumbled back and hit his bed. (Sorry if this is a bit inaccurate, unfortunately I’ve never been fucked hard enough that i couldn’t walk :( ben take notes) Jungwon let out a soft chuckle at your actions,

“I really fucked you that good?”

you rolled your eyes at the boy, telling him that he shouldn’t get to cocky and that you were sure he was putting up a fight not to crumble onto the floor, you weren’t wrong. The boy disregarded your comment though, opting to turn so his back was facing you, prompting you to jump onto his back. You did you, wrapping your arms and legs around your torso while leaning your head against his shoulder. Jungwons hands clutched your thighs before trudging out of his door and down the stairs, choosing to ignore Jake’s high taunts.

Before you knew it you were at your dorms, you had told Jungwon that you’d be fine to go in on your own though he disagreed, opting to take you all the way to your dorms door. “I’m not gonna come in because, well, I don’t think 4 girls waking up to me glooming over the, would be a good luck,”

you laughed at the boy, leaning up to leave a kiss on his cheek.

“Good night Won,”

he leant down and kissed your temple,

“Good night Ynnie,”

“So you’re telling me, you fucked her and now you’re ignoring her? The fuck is your problem man?”

Jungwon knew that telling his friends would be a mistake, so he opted to tell Sunoo, trusting him to not tell the others… rookie mistake.

“No! I am not blanking her, she wanted to fuck and we did so? I’m not going to make the effort to talk to her when she got what she wanted.”

Jay rarely spoke during these group discussions, so when he let out a taunt and Jungwons idiocy the others took it and ran.

“Jungwon you’re supposed to be smart, she’s obsessed with you,”

the boy stood up abruptly and went to leave the great hall before turning swiftly and snapping,

“She is not obsessed with me.”

Why do they keep saying that? Why would you be obsessed with him? In all honesty Jungwon wished you were obsessed with him, but you obviously aren’t! You just wanted to fuck him to show you could have anyone you wanted right? Right. A part of Jungwon wishes he hadn’t slept with you, hadn’t helped prove that you really could have anyone you wanted, but the other half of him hasn’t been able to make himself cum since without thinking of your cunt.

-

Jungwon sat on his own at lunch, he was still angry about his friends comments, and he had a lot to revise, though his ‘subconscious’ sat him right where he could look at you across the room. His ‘subconscious’ also kept stealing glances at you, laughing silently at the way your nose scrunches when you eat something you don’t like and how your eye smiles create creases next to them when you laugh. As people began to finish their food the hall stared to clear, leaving about 20 students per table, also meaning Jungwons stares could no longer be hidden.

Once he’d finished his food Jungwon began packing his things, standing to go to his class before he was abruptly met by your face. “Hi won! How are you?”

Your hair was breaded today and you wore glasses, maybe you’d ran out of contacts. Your hands were adorned with rings and bracelets as they fidgeted with the hem of your skirt. Jungwon was pulled out of his trance when the way you said his name in a sing song way met his ears,

“You got what you wanted yn you can drop the act,”

he huffed out, walking to his herbology lesson. Your expression dropped as he walked away, did he really think that’s all you wanted? A good fuck? Maybe you were wrong about Jungwon, maybe he is just a dick.

“You should flirt with some guys infront of him, see if he’s really as unbothered as he says he is,”

Minjeong let out a laugh as the five of you walked to the Hufflepuff dorms,

“Rina that is so dumb, you’re not seriously considering that are you yn? Are you?”

You avoided her eyes before bursting into a laugh, explaining that as dumb as it was, Jungwon was a boy, and all boys get jealous! Also, 4 against 1?

“Good luck is all I’m going to say ynnie!”

She laughed as you all walked into the dorms, splitting off to mingle. You opting to walk around with Aeri,

“What about the new boy? If you were his first fuck you’d definitely have him wrapped around your finger,”

you chuckled in disbelief at the girls comment,

“You know Aeri, you make me sound like such a bitch….. but honestly real,”

You bid farewell to the girl before making your way towards the lost looking boy,

“Hey I’m yn! You’re new here right?”

the boys eyes widened at your presence, stuttering slightly before mumbling,

“Y- yeah I’m Jaehyun, Myung Jaehyun, it’s nice to meet you,”

you giggled at the boys nervousness, taking his hand into yours as you began to walk around the crowded room. As you made your way to the drinks table you poured a rather strong one for Jaehyun and yourself,

“Oh I uh, I don’t really drink,”

you furrowed your brows at his comment, bringing the solo cup to his hands,

“Come onnn, it’ll be fine it’s just a bit,”

You watched as Jaehyun eyes flickered between your eyes and the cup, and occasionally your boobs, he gulped slightly before taking the drink into his hands, swigging some back, groaning at the bitterness,

“See,” you clasped your hands, “it’s nice right?”

The boy chuckled, letting out a staggered,

“It’s alright,”

The two of you continued to wander around the room, talking about nothing in particular, and as you finished your drink you turned towards him, arms draping around his neck and his found solace on your hips. “You know,” you stared, “you’re really hot,”

the boys eyes widened, muttering out a thank you, letting his thumbs dip into the waistband of your low rise. “You’re really hot too, like really hot,”

you giggled at Jaehyuns shyness, letting your hand find his hair, pulling him closer towards you, one of his hands left your hip and made its way to guide your chin up towards his. You tilted your head slightly, making it easier for your faces to morph together, you felt his breath on your face as his lips ghosted over yours, finally pulling your lips onto hi-

“Yn,”

You both stop, faces turning towards the ominous voice, oh. When did he even get here?

“Yn can we talk?”

Jungwons face remained completely emotionless, bar from the occasional bite of the lip as his eyes stayed completely on you. “We’re kind of busy here man,”

Jaehyun grunted, clearly not appreciating the blatant cock block, Jungwons eyes met his instantly, raising his eyebrows with a smirk. You felt Jaehyuns hands immediately retract from you, muttering out a quiet, “guess I’ll just go then,” before quickly whisking away. Jungwons eyes met yours again, signalling his head away before walking in the direction of a corridor, prompting you to follow him. You did, obviously.

“You know Jungwon, you’ve got some nerve, this better be good!”

Jungwon immediately shut you off, lips pressing harshly against yours as he pushed you against the cobbled wall.

“F-fuck,” he mumbled through the kiss, “why were you trying to fuck him when I’m right her ?”

you laughed, pulling his face slightly away from yours, his cheeks in between your hand,

“Jungwon are you being for real? I tried to talk to you and you just insulted me and basically called me a slut!”

You watched as the boys Adam’s apple bobbed and his eyes slightly widened,

“Yeah I uhh, I’m sorry about that my friends were just teasing me about you so, I’m sorry?”

Your heart hardened once more at his words, he’d told his friends? Like Heeseung had? Had they spoken about you like they had before?

“What do you mean teased you Jungwon? Did you seriously tell them?”

you dropped your hand from his face, stepping away from him, how could he do this to you? You were sure there was something different about him, that your heart knew something about him you didn’t and that’s why you were always so drawn to him. But no, of course not.

Jungwon stared back at you, mouth opening and closing yet no words coming out. Sighing you turned to leave and maybe clear your mind when Jungwon finally reached out and grabbed your hand,

“I didn’t tell them ynnie, I told Sunoo and his big mouth told the others, and I promise they weren’t talking bad about you, they were just saying I was lucky and that you were uh, that doesn’t matter, but I promise, it wasn’t like what Heeseung did, I wouldn’t do that to you.”

Jungwon stared into your eyes, thumb sweeping over the palm of your hand and he silently pled you to believe him. “Hmm, okay won,”

He smiled lightly, pulling you into hug him, hands finding solace on your back. You patted his back, feeling the air slightly thicken as his lips started pressing lightly down your neck. Your feet naturally carried themselves backwards until you felt the cold brick of the corridor on your exposed back. Jungwons kisses began to get harsher, hands weaving around to brush against your hips, attempting to pull you closer to him. “Jungwon we can’t, not here someone could walk down!”

you felt the boys movements still for a moment, clearly contemplating, before he grabbed your hand and pulled you harshly through the dorms and into the shitty one stall bathroom. You laughed in disbelief at where he’d taken you. The stall was lit by a harsh cool overhead light which accentuated the many badger wall hangings that graced the walls. The sink directly faced the toilet and the two of you could barely fit, having to hold your breath as not to touch the gross wall.

“Jungwon,” you started, “are you seriously going to fuck me in a one stall bathroom?” You laughed slightly at the situation, though it muffled out as Jungwons lips met yours again,

“Yeah,” his breath fanned against your neck as his hands rushed to unbutton your cropped shirt, “I’m seriously going to fuck you in a one stall bathroom, is there a problem?”

As he chuckled the last part he brushed his fingertips over your clothed nipple. You huffed and muttered a ‘n- no’ as Jungwon pulled your shirt off, letting it hit the floor. His hands danced down your body to quickly unbutton your jeans, his lips resuming against your aching body. As your pants hit the floor with a thud you pushed Jungwon away from you again. His eyes looked into yours in worry, searching for any signs of hesitation, though it was washed away when he felt your hands tugging at his jumper,

“I don’t want to be in just my underwear when your fully dressed Jungwon!” the boy laughed, kissing against your cheek before tugging his jumper over his head and disregarding it with your clothes. His lips pulled your attention back to him, biting your lip to grant him access to the rest of your mouth, his tongue licking against yours as your make-out turned messier by the minute. When your hands found the buttons of his shirt, Jungwon chuckled lightly. You were irritability groaning against him as the buttons just wouldn’t work with you. He pulled away from you, swiftly unbuttoning his shirt, all while giggling at your impatient tugs at his pants. As shirt dropped to the floor, Jungwons attention focused in on you once again. His hand pulled you into him, connecting your lips for the nth time thst night.

“Jungwon,” you mumbled onto his lips, “please!”

“Hm? Please what ynnie?”

You pathetically grinded against his leg, hands attempting to unbutton his jeans, accidentally hitting his ever-growing bulge. Jungwons breath hitched at the feeling, your fingertips on his clothed dick the last straw for him.

“Fuck,”

he muttered, his hands weaving around and hooking onto your thighs, he tapped against your ass, signaling for you to jump. You did, obviously, as a small yelp left your lips, the cool porcelain acting as a dramatic contrast to the heat overtaking your body as Jungwons movements became more desire filled. As Jungwons kisses traveled across your chest and neck you became more restless, wanting nothing more than to feel him, however he pleased.

“Fuck, I don’t have a condom, do you want to go back to my room?”

you shook your head against his shoulder, lust overtaking your conscience,

“I don’t care just please,”

you felt his hands find panties, fingertips grazing over the place you needed him most,

“Please what ynnie? I thought we’d established this hm? Use your words or you’re not getting anything,”

a low groan erupted from your chest at the boys tantalising,

“Please just fuck me Jungwon,”

Jungwon laughed into your ear, mumbling a “see how easy that way?”. You swatted away his smug grin, opting to push your leg between his thighs instead of putting up with his teasing.

“Hmm, you need me to prep you?”

He questioned, hand slipping into your panties, immediately shocked at the amount of wetness that soaked his fingers,

“clearly not, all this after a few kisses? You must want me bad baby?”

you whimpered again, begging him to stop his teasing. He complied, for once, hooking his fingers onto your panty line to tug them to the side, his fingers spread your entrance before slipping his fingers into your cunt. As he stretched you out on his hand, his other unbuttoned his jeans, pulling them and his boxers down just enough to pull out his dick.

“You sure about this?”

he questioned, all while rubbing his dick against your cunt, you groaned,

“yes I’m sure just fuck me Jungwon please!”

oh my god. Sure he’d fucked you once before but feeling you raw was a whole ‘nother level, sure it was a bad idea fucking you unprotected, and sure he would definitely regret it tomorrow, but oh my god. The way your eyes hit the back of your head as your nails clawed his back, the way you tightened around him with every stroke, and the way he watched hour tits bounce, still trapped in the confinement’s of your bra, made him feel like he could cum any minute.

“Jungwon oh my god, so- fuck- so big!”

you brought your legs around his waist, pulling him closer. As you felt his hand creep down to your clit you knew it was over for you,

“gonna cum Jungwon, can you cum with me- ah! Cum with me pleaseee,”

The boy chuckled, quickening his movements- the way you kept tightening around him, he was close too,

“keep doing what you’re doing baby I’ll cum with you okay?”

you simply moaned against his shoulder, kissing his neck hard enough you were sure to leave a mark. As you felt Jungwons toying on your clit quicken you knew the coil inside of you was about to snap, the way he was moving inside of you, the raw intimacy of it all, the heat your bodies were creating, the lewd wet noises coming from your cunt and he fucked you the best you ever had been, the sweat building up between your two bodies, the-

“oh my god,”

as you finaly let the coil inside of you snap, you felt Jungwon pull out quickly and release onto your stomach- plunging his fingers inside of your heat to ride you through your orgasm. As the two of you slowly caught your breaths Jungwon lent forward to whisper in your ear,

“Do you wanna hand out? Like, without my cock inside of you I mean? Like a date or something?”

you felt the heat creep back onto your cheeks, pulling away from him to look into his eyes

“Are you serious? Of course I would! It took you long enough to ask wonnie!”

the boy felt his heart start beating again as he lent in to kiss you with more passion than he had before, his hands wandering back around your body to grope your ass and pull you towards him. Just as your hand was about to grab his dick again you two were, rudely, interrupted,

“are you done in there I need a fucking piss?”

"YN!" Worry filled Jungwon's tone as his fingers gently brushed against your cuts, causing you to wince at the slight burning sensation. A guilty look adorned your face as you avoided making eye contact with him. Taking hold of your cheeks, he directed your head to meet his gaze, and soon his eyes cautiously inspected the wounds on your arms.

"Don't look at me like that," you chuckled lightly, seemingly unfazed by the numerous injuries sustained in the past hour. Jungwon shook his head, "Just when I thought I could leave you alone to take care of yourself."

"I just overdid it today—I promise not to show up all bloody like this next time," you firmly said, but he was aware that it was another one of those promises you might struggle to keep. Jungwon grabbed your wrist, leading you away from the training grounds and swiftly taking you to the secluded spot that had become your retreat.

“Sit there,” he pointed at the tree stump nearby, and made his first aid kit appear out of thin air. Jungwon being a sorcerer was definitely shocking to you, although after encountering so much magic within the realm of royalty, it shouldn't have been surprising. Still, you still find yourself randomly wondering how he was able to do things like that within a split second.

"Look at me," he softly instructed, followed by a quiet sigh. It was evident that seeing you hurt stirred a deep discomfort within Jungwon, even if the injuries were minor. As he wiped the blood from your cuts with a cotton bud, both of you winced simultaneously. It seemed he had grown accustomed to reacting this way.

"You know, I still don't understand why you panic like this. You always manage to treat me perfectly," you remarked, attempting to ease the tension with a hint of humor.

"And you always worry me—your injuries are getting worse as the days go by. Did you think I wouldn't notice the bruises on your knuckles either?" Jungwon reached for your hand with his free one, lightly caressing your fingers while still focused on inspecting your face. "You shouldn't ruin a face like this—not that I'm saying that in a bad way. Is there a different way for you to train so vigorously?"

"Well, what do you expect a skilled knight like me to do? To just back down now that I've built myself a reputation?" you chuckled. "No can do."

"Well, YN, I wouldn't laugh during a situation like this, where you have me tending to your awful cuts."

"Dropping the honorifics, huh?"

“My apologies, Sir YN. Is there anything else you command me to do?” A soft laugh leaves your lips again, causing the tense Jungwon to finally break into a small smile. It was as if your laughter was his medicine.

“Kiss me.” Jungwon's face flushes, but he places his hands on the sides of your face, slowly leaning in. Just as you close your eyes, you hear a slight giggle. Feeling something other than his lips on yours, you open one eye to see him just treating your wounds again as if he didn't just tease. “You’ve got a cut here–wait until I finish.”

“Hey that’s not…” Your voice trails off when he unexpectedly kisses your cheek. “...nice.” A peck comes with the next, and it just keeps going. He continues smothering kisses on your face, now making you want to escape his grasp despite you asking for them in the first place.

After giving you the final peck on your lips, he moved away from your face, a proud grin on his face for his handiwork. Handing you a small mirror, you examined your face and noticed how all the gashes from training had disappeared. Touching your cheekbone, you inquired, “What did you just do? That seems like a new technique you've learned.”

“You wanted kisses, didn't you? So, I did a little something,” Jungwon replied with a mischievous smile. “And it's a secret.”

“How mean,” you huffed lightly.

“I still need to tend to your arms and hands. Can you try to stay still for me, my love?”

Jungwon completed the task more swiftly than he had anticipated. He yearned to kiss you more, as his actions seemed to convey more than words ever could. Seating himself beside you, he lay on the tree trunk behind, reaching out for your hand. Together, you both gazed into the horizon without uttering a word.

He wished for you to rest, recognizing that even though he had healed your cuts, your body remained fatigued. Your energy levels hadn't been up to par lately, and he couldn't help but worry if there was something more serious at play.

But, even in quiet times like these, these moments are things he actually cherished the most. It allowed him to collect his thoughts.

Glancing back at your calm state, the question Jungwon had lingering in the back of his mind finally comes back to him.

Right.

He had to ask you this. But how?

Would he ruin this moment for the both of you?

A wave of countless thoughts flooded Jungwon's mind. The timing never seemed quite right. When would he ever get the chance to share something this important with you? This quiet moment was the only time you and he spent together without any peculiar occurrences.

Should he just ask the question already?

Should he— “Jungwon, do you need something?”

“Huh?” Caught off guard, Jungwon blinked for a moment. He hadn't realized that he was lost in his own thoughts. Shaking his head slightly, he offered a sheepish smile. "No, nothing in particular. Just enjoying the moment with you."

"Is everything okay? Your hold on my hand is a bit...” He noticed the tightness in his grip and instinctively loosened it. “Sorry.”

“You seem like something is on your mind. Why not share it with me?” In moments like these, your attentiveness always shone through. Despite his usual tendency to back away, this time, Jungwon felt a stronger urge not to let the opportunity slip by like any other day.

“Well, um,” He found himself stumbling over words, struggling to articulate his thoughts amidst the whirlwind of emotions. Your understanding gaze encouraged him, appreciating the cute side of him you always found endearing.

“I... I wanted to ask you something important,” Jungwon finally confessed, looking into your eyes with a mixture of nervousness and determination. Your expression softened, encouraging him to continue. “What is it?”

He took another deep breath before speaking, “YN, have you ever thought about... eternity? About staying by someone's side forever?”

“Eternity you say…” You thought deeply of the question–it was certainly one of those questions that went beyond the usual conversations you two would have. “Well, I guess I have considered that–in a different sense. What makes you bring this up all of a sudden?”

“I said I would protect you for my whole life, did I not?” His hands interlocked with yours, and his tone…

His tone seemed rather…

Sad.

You knew his emotions better than anyone else could; you could instantly tell if something was off. It was as if he had repeated that question to you countless times before.

You just didn’t know how to explain it. It was just a gut feeling.

But why would he be sad?

You didn't quite understand it, but you hesitated to delve deeper.

“And you have done great so far, my dearest,” You tried to offer comfort, tightening your hold in response. “My wounds have never healed better when I’m around you.”

He nodded, appreciating your reassurance. “Of course, my love. Seeing you hurt is something I can't bear, especially when I know I can do something about it. But...that's not exactly what I'm trying to say.”

“Oh?”

Jungwon hesitated for a moment before letting out a nervous chuckle, “I was just... wondering if you'd be open to the idea. You know, staying with someone you care about for a very, very long time. Like, forever.”

The sincerity in his eyes left you with a sense of vulnerability, and you realized that this wasn't just an ordinary conversation. Jungwon seemed to be hinting at something much more profound.

“Are you trying to tell me something?”

He sighed, nodding his head. “Yes…what I’m trying to say is that I find I can find a way to keep you beside me forever.”

“You mean... granting me immortality?”

“Exactly.” He nodded, his hold on your hand tightening, as if he had no intention of letting you go. “I’ve been experimenting with various spells from the countless books I’ve read during endless nights. I can share some of my findings with you, if you’d—”

“My love, I must decline that offer.”

“Huh?” Jungwon was puzzled by the sudden interruption. Gazing at you with widened eyes, he realized you weren't joking.

You were being serious.

“Oh. Is that so…” You noticed his eyes glistening, causing a twinge in your heart. Making people feel sad, especially those you love, was something you truly hated.

“Don’t misunderstand—I love you deeply, more than words could convey. But, after all the achievements I’ve accomplished as a knight, I don’t want them to go to waste.”

Jungwon couldn’t comprehend it.

“But, my love, how would it go to waste? Your accomplishments will be remembered for ages, even centuries. And you can continue achieving much more... if you choose to stay.”

He's trying his best—he wants you to stay. Was it selfish of him to wish for that? However, there's no time for self-doubt; what shouldn’t be doubtful is his love for you.

He wants you.

So he pleads. He tries his absolute hardest.

He’s just so close.

So close to stopping this wretched fate of his.

“Why, aren’t you the sweetest?” you smiled, freeing him from your grasp to run your fingers through his hair, providing instant solace. With your touch, Jungwon sighed, this was clearly taking a toll on him.

“Is…is that a yes?”

“The answer is still a no. I want to stay by your side as a mortal being.”

“But…but why?” he questioned, a mix of confusion and desperation in his eyes.

“Because, that way, it can make our memories more cherishable, don’t you think?” you smiled at him, your words piercing through his heart. How could you radiate joy in a moment like this? However, he couldn’t deny the truth in your statement. Across countless past lives, you were always a part of them, turning each one into a profoundly memorable experience.

Different clothes, different situations, different personalities—he had encountered them all. Yet, irrespective of the flaws or imperfections, he found himself drawn to you in every single life.

He remembers all the moments he’d be able to make you smile.

He remembers the sweet laughs you’d have—each one he would consider as a beautiful melody.

He remembers what had made you happy in those lives.

He knows them all by heart.

He longs to share those stories with you, but the fear of overwhelming you with his endless tales holds him back.

He would never want to burden you like that.

“I guess so…” he manages to utter, his voice choked with unspoken emotions.

“I can tell you’re hurt,” your tone softens, your smile fading into a slight frown. “But it just won’t be the same. I would feel much prouder about how many things I can accomplish during my time. I hope you understand.”

His lips thinned, and he slowly nodded, trying to convey that he was okay. Attempting to hold his head high, he looked at you with a certain glint in his eyes. “As long as you’re happy, my love.”

“Thank you,” you exhaled, shifting your position to lay on his lap, closing your eyes. Jungwon chuckled, a bittersweet sound, brushing your hair away from your face. “Let’s just relax, hm?”

“Yeah. Relax,” Jungwon agreed, feeling his energy drain out of him. How could he relax? He was tired. How many more moments like this could you two share before he was forced to part from you again?

He can feel the tears he tried holding back come back to him. His eyes were becoming blurry as he continued to look down at your figure.

He feels even sadder, as his blurry vision seemed to portray what he eventually ends up experiencing.

He should’ve known by now.

No matter the timeline, he was fated to be separated from you.

Despite his efforts, he would watch you leave, helpless to change the outcome.

The haunting image of holding your lifeless body would repeat, tears streaming down uncontrollably.

A new start awaits, but it was another wretched path he was forced to follow.

This was his expected fate.

💬 : ayaya

yang jungwon, your rival in just about everything since you were kids. tied with you in every single subject, even PE. he’s everything you are and more – good-looking, funny, and a genius, to top it all off, and he never lets you forget it, what with all the achievements he’s gotten over you. it’s not that he doesn’t work hard and you’re jealous of some natural academic gift he’s got, it’s the fact that you study just as hard as he does, do as much as he does, and yet people will always see him before you. and now, even when you’re at university, he’s still fighting with you for the top spot, for every position available. your circle of friends have remained the same, so like it or not, you’re stuck together.

you begin to stuff your notes into your backpack. “well, i might as well follow you back to the dorms. yunjin’s been lecturing me to stop walking back alone.” gathering your things, you leave, waving to the librarian as you attempt to put some distance between you and jungwon.

very quickly, jungwon moves beside you so his shoulder is almost pressed up against yours. “you sure took your time. if i hadn’t come to find you, the last bus across campus would’ve come and gone by the time you finished.”

“oh, don’t exaggerate. why’d you come here in the first place, when all you do is complain?” 

you want to say you hate the boyish grin that breaks out across his face, but that would be a lie, and you’ve done way too much lying today to yourself. “what else? i came here for you.”

“ugh, you-!”

“you ears are red, haha.”

your bus pulls into the stop, and in a thoughtless attempt at revenge, you grab his arm and yank him up the steps so he’s even closer to you than before. you don’t miss the way his skin flushes hot.  “now yours are too.” leading him to a seat in the back, you pinch his side. he returns your…affection with a jab in the cheek. 

it’s a game of cat and mouse with jungwon, although neither of you can say for sure who’s chasing and who’s ducking away. whatever this is, it’s safer. 

at least you’re not actually fighting anymore.

here’s the thing: yang jungwon has this journal. every time he’s upset or on the verge of a mental breakdown, he trauma dumps into that journal. it’s the only way he doesn’t cave from the stress, and you and your friends learned very quickly that if that notebook was out, everyone had to leave him alone for at least ten minutes, then he’d be himself again. one day, you’d been studying together when a draft blew the pages of his journal open, straight to the page where he’d written something that was definitely not for your eyes — or anyone’s for that matter. 

“i hate her, so so much i wish she was dead. maybe in a different lifetime, i’ll be better than her, have her beat for once.” you didn’t even need to finish reading what he wrote before you were clawing at his throat, because who else could it be but you?

and it hurt to read it, because what could it mean than yang jungwon was jealous of you? what could it mean that the one person you simultaneously hated and envied, hated you back for all the same reasons? it wasn’t fair that you couldn’t even hate him peacefully.

it only got worse from there, because all it took was a couple minutes of yelling at each other before that ass of a human being decided it was a good idea to tell you it was “three years ago”, and that it shouldn’t matter as much as it did, as if that was supposed to help. and you’d screamed at him, screamed and cried and shoved him and-

his lips were against yours. 

you would’ve pushed him off, but as soon as it came it went, and he’d pulled away faster than you could think. “i don’t hate you,” he’d managed to make out, his voice shaky as he tried and failed to recollect his thoughts. “i just…i can’t hate you. not anymore.”

hell, maybe it was the attention, or some sort of sick stress outlet. you wish it were the latter, because then that would’ve been a hell lot easier. either way, you haven’t spoken about it since then, reason being you’re totally out of your comfort zone when it comes to this guy. plus, he’d taken your first kiss, although he didn’t have to know that. having put your all into your academic life, you haven’t really thought about dating anyone at all. sure, there were a few people whom you’d thought were fairly attractive, but you had never cared to do anything more than that (much less with yang freaking jungwon). your ultimate goal has always been to have jungwon beat. you sort of achieved that, you suppose. the boy’s now a mess when it comes to you. 

since then, you’ve been using each other as stress relief. stupid, really, but with that annoyingly good kiss still hanging between the two of you, you could only keep coming back for more, waiting for lulls in your timetables to meet up. one thing would lead to another, and…well.

“finished your revision yet?” you probe. if he says no, you’ll just drag him off to finish it. but he’s jungwon. if he says he’s gonna do something, he does it. although it’s sort of disappointing if he just parts ways with you, even after he came all this way to find you so far away from the dorms. 

jungwon sighs. “what do you take me for? of course i did, or you’d get mad at me. and i know you’re free for the rest of the day too.” he rummages through his backpack, before handing you a cap and mask. “put these on, i need a big brute to help me buy and carry groceries back to my dorm.”

“and who better than me, huh?”

jungwon grins, waving a matching set in your face. “you’re the multifaceted necessity in my life. my swiss knife, if you please.”

you end up at a mall just a few kilometres away from campus. apparently, he needs laundry pods, vegetables and some sort of microfibre cloth that “can only be blue, mind you.” according to him, if a hand towel doesn’t match his dorm’s colour scheme, the whole world falls apart. 

(for the record, his dorm room does look nice. but no one has to know that you know.)

pushing a shopping cart along the aisles, a bag of spinach catches your eye. “how’s this for vegetables?”

he shakes his head. “lettuce is better for hotpot.”

“since when did you plan on having hotpot?”

“it’s our dinner, y/n.”

“…”

he sighs. “i’m paying for the groceries.”

“well in that case…” you move to grab a few packets of meat from the fridge. “you won’t mind if i add these, will you?”

you don’t miss his odd gaze on you as he pushes the cart towards the checkout counter. “not at all.”

so much for the grocery shopping.

dinner is long forgotten as you find yourself pinned up against the walls of jungwon’s dorm, his grip on your waist oddly comforting. your fingers are tangled in his dark locks, pulling him in deeper, but it’s not enough. it’s never enough.

it feels so, so wrong, to be rendezvousing with him, and maybe he knows it too, because when he finally pulls away, there’s a guilty look on his face. “strike two…?” he grins sheepishly. he’s a little out of breath, and you hate to admit it, but it’s kind of hot. (actually, it’s the fifth time this week, but who’s counting? definitely not you.)

how? you’d maintained the status quo for more than a decade. hell, you two are supposed to loathe each other. knowing yang jungwon has some sort of feelings for you must be messing with your brain. 

jungwon’s lips latch onto your earlobe, fingers trailing down your nape. it’s crazy, the way every brush of his lips sends your head reeling. over his shoulder, you catch a glimpse of his roommate’s neatly folded quilt, and a thought pops into your mind. “when’s sunoo getting back?”

“he just left for a party, he won’t be back for a bit,” jungwon murmurs. sunoo happens to be part of a circle of close friends consisting of yunjin, sunoo and ni-ki (and jungwon, although you could never admit he’s a friend). you’re a close-knit group, withholding no secrets with each other. more often than not, they’ve been caught up in your fights with jungwon, although those haven’t happened in a while, for obvious reasons.

you hum against his lips, fingernails digging crescent-shaped marks into his skin as you try to steady your breathing. “think the water’s boiled by now, get off.” it’s a half-hearted order, and you’re pretty sure jungwon sees through your bullshit. what was it, something about glass houses?

“don’t wanna.”

“jungwon come on-” the sound of a lock in a key slices through the air, jolting you and jungwon apart. panic flares in your chest, and you scramble to shove jungwon far away from you. “hurry up, hurry up.” 

sunoo’s voice drifts past the door. “must’ve left it in here somewhere, don’t know how i could’ve forgotten my id of all things.” the door opens to reveal a sheepish-looking sunoo, flanked by your friends yunjin and riki, who don’t look very pleased. their expressions, however, change the moment they spot you in the corner. “y/n?! what are you doing here?”

one look at the tiny hotpot contraption on the table, paired with the small portions of food is all they need to put two and two together. yunjin frowns, marching past sunoo. “ohh no, you two in the same room alone is a big no from me. by the time we get back, the whole place is gonna look like hell, with all the screaming and fire.” her disapproving glance at you makes you want to shrivel up and die on the spot. 

“we’ll be studying, don’t worry. we never fight when we’re studying,” jungwon shrugs, shooting a discreet glance in your direction, practically screaming help me.

“yeah see the thing is, you shouldn’t even be fighting-”

“yunjin, don’t.” sunoo takes her by the shoulder, dragging her back out the door. “keep our dorm in one piece, please. we’re off!” while yunjin still believes in peace between the two of you, sunoo’s learnt long ago that interfering with your rivalry only makes things worse. not that you don’t feel a little bad about it.

the door slams shut, leaving you and jungwon alone in the room. it’s an uncomfortable silence, the awkwardness of the interruption still lingering.

“y/n, i-”

you hold out your hand. “give me a moment, gosh.” burying your face in your hands, you groan. “that was probably the worst thing ever. we lied in their faces, they’re gonna kill us if they ever find out.”

you suppose it’s your despair that elicits a sound awfully like a snicker from him. some things never change. “did you see the looks on their faces? they’ll never see it coming.” you finally raise your head, watching as jungwon smirks at you with a conspiratorial glint in his eyes. paired with that loose-fitting hoodie of his, and the sweatpants (grey, no less), you’re simultaneously insanely smitten and utterly appalled by said attraction. why’d he have to be so good-looking? he wasn’t this handsome when you were growing up. yang jungwon is going to be the death of you.

it really does take all your efforts not to just shove him onto the couch and claim his lips for yourself again. and then you nearly faint from the prospect of having that thought at all. hastily, you shove a wad of meat into the boiling pot on the table. “we-we should start eating. don’t want the food to turn bad.”

he shrugs, pulling up a chair opposite you. “don’t mind if i do.”

and if you pop open a couple beers afterward, no one has to know.

shit. shit.

days later, you’re at a study cafe with all your friends. you’ve spent the past hour on this topic, and it’s taking everything inside of you not to smash your laptop in half and bash your head into the debris. what the hell is this? you’re not supposed to be bad at this. a glance at jungwon tells you he’s not having nearly as much trouble as you are, and that’s your breaking point.

panic rises in your throat, your lungs, as your vision blurs. words on the screen start to blend, and you think to yourself, you’re a failure again. worthless no matter how hard you try, breaking apart even while trying to hold yourself together. you can feel every tear leave a searing path down your cheeks, nails clawing for skin to carve red lines into. your eyes burn with the buildup of tears, a telltale sign you’re about to lose your shit. in front of jungwon, no less. just great.  

you stand up abruptly, the legs of your chair screeching as they drag across the floor. “bathroom,” you manage to make out, as you dash across the cafe full of people, praying no pne notices. you fling the bathroom door open, turning on the tap at full blast. you don’t realise it, but your fingers are gripping the edges of the sink with an intensity you didn’t think was possible. 

your eyes flutter shut as you try to calm down, focusing on the flow of the water. it’s not working, but the white noise is more soothing than anything right now. that is, until you hear a clicking sound, followed by arms wrapping around you from behind. judging by the shallow breaths, and the mellow scent of baby lotion, it’s exactly who you think it is.

in your rush, you forgot to lock the door. wonderful.

you lean away from jungwon’s embrace, trying to untangle yourself from him, but he stubbornly holds you tighter. “go back, i’m fine.” you don’t even believe yourself, from the way your voice trembles in between gasps.

he hums, and with your back against his chest you can feel the little vibrations as his speaks. “you don’t say.” he doesn’t continue, and in the silence, your mind stays on the warmth of his body against yours. slowly, you let yourself relax into him. it’s funny, how he can be the problem and the cure at the same time. 

you can feel yourself melting in his arms, your breathing evening out with every second that passes. your heartbeat’s finally slowed to a calmer thrumming, no longer pounding in your ears. suddenly, you’re hyper-aware of his soft sweater against your cheek, and the way a thin piece of fabric is the only thing between your skin and his. 

“how do you do it?”

jungwon frowns. “do what?”

“hold up the world and make everything seem fine, when you know it’s not.”

he falls silent, resting his head in the crook of your neck (it’s becoming a habit of his). “well…it’s easy when it’s for someone else.”

“that so?” you muse, peering back up at him. “even for me?”

the way he averts your gaze is insanely cute. “don’t push it.”

but you know he hasn’t lied to you. since you were kids, jungwon’s never been the kind to wear his heart on his sleeve. he holds everything together, holds everyone together. even now, he’s keeping you from falling apart. but what about him? who’s watching him to keep him from losing it all? you know for sure he’s had his fair share of breakdowns, but your stomach churns at the thought that you’ve never witnessed it. not once. being yang jungwon is lonelier than it seems.

once you’re sufficiently calmed down, you untangle yourself from his embrace. “i’ll, um, head back first. you should wait a few minutes before you go back.”

“right.” glancing down at his feet, jungwon nods. “just…you don’t have to carry it all by yourself.”

you turn to leave, but a question burns all the way down your throat. 

why? would you take it from my hands and bear it with me?

(and what if you wanted to bear his burdens too?)

true enough, your performance on the latest assignment was more than decent — the highest score in your class, in fact. and as always, jungwon’s not far off. your hard work did pay off. funnily enough, you don’t go to rub it in his face like you always used to do.

it seems you’ve changed.

these days, jungwon seems to linger in your head a lot more. and it’s not just the intimate gestures that stay, but the feeling of his arms around you just won’t disappear. every time you’re about to panic, the mere memory of his gentle touch only serves to ground you back to reality. he’s not even physically here, but you don’t need him to be there for him to be your lifeline. how did things even turn out like this? your greatest rival, also your greatest source of comfort.

today, your friends have made plans to head to an amusement park (read: disneyland. because yunjin’s a disney adult in the best sense of the word). you, jungwon, sunoo, yunjin and riki, along with his girlfriend. the dynamic’s great, really, with everyone carrying the mood well so nothing ever feels boring. you’re able to grab a few rides with them, and eventually the group splits for different attractions, and it’s just you, riki and jungwon, waiting for the others to get back from some quirky river ride. you three didn’t bring spare clothes, so you’ll have to sit this one out. parked under a shady tree, you don’t feel the heat nearly as much, but sweat’s starting to make your shirts cling to your backs.

thirty minutes pass, and there’s still no sign of them. riki’s phone pings. “oh, the ride’s delayed. they’re gonna queue for another forty minutes.”

“forty?”

riki shrugs. “it’s a popular ride.”

you rise to your feet. “okay, i’lm go get us some water. you guys stay put.”

fortunately for you, the shop’s got plenty of water bottles, although the marked-up prices do make your wallet cry a little. what you aren’t prepared for, however, is walking back and spotting riki and jungwon huddled under the tree, deep in conversation. quickly, you press your back up to the other side of the tree trunk, hiding in plain sight.

“…you want relationship advice from me?”

jungwon hums. “well, i can’t very well ask sunoo, not when he’s only just stopped partying away to handle his own breakup.”

“true. we need to find him some better coping mechanisms. though i think he’s back in contact with her on instagram. i swear i saw a notification on his phone the other day with her user and all. that webinar he’s going for next tuesday? think it’s her.”

“oh.” you can hear the wince in jungwon’s voice. “that’s a little…”

riki glares at him. “don't change the subject. shoot.”

he sighs, his lips twisting in concentration. it’s a habit he’s had for a long time, one that you’ve come to notice. “so there’s this girl.”

“uh-huh.”

“i can’t stop thinking about her.”

“uh-huh.”

“but i know she hates me-”

“shit, you like y/n?!” riki yells, slapping jungwon on the back before he can even finish. “of all the billions of people on the planet?”

“how’d you guess?”

“she’s the only one who hates you, buddy. no prizes for guessing who.”

jungwon groans, burying his face in his hands. “i don’t know anymore. she just can’t get out of my head. don’t tell the others, i’m begging you. i’ll never live it down.”

“okay…” riki trails off, and you can imagine how confused he is. “why her though? and why now?”

jungwon’s practically fumbling for an answer, running his hands through his hair (another nervous tic of his). “it’s just…i guess i get her, and she gets me? we understand each other’s problems really well. it’s like looking into a mirror.”

you nearly choke at his words. he gets you, that much is clear. but for him to feel like you know him inside out, that’s a completely different thing altogether. it’s always been a struggle for you to read people. coupled with the fact that jungwon’s the most emotionally intelligent and regulated guy you know, you’ve been worried you’re not giving him enough. 

besides, he’s so much more than you’ll ever be. you, the mentally unstable top student, and jungwon, the other contender for your spot, but with something more: people skills. everyone likes him, everyone wants to be him. the battle’s lost before you can even fight it. he’s a good person, and you’re…nothing like that. people trust him, including you. 

so why would he dare to leave his heart in your hands like that?

it’s not fair. he knows exactly what to do, and you know nothing. he’s dated other girls before, not many but enough to be more experienced than you. how would you know anything, other than to clumsily take his affection with a heap of salt? you’ve failed him. 

oddly enough, riki seems to understand. “i think i catch your wind, but you’ll have to elaborate. what’s the dynamic with her right now?”

“i, uh.” jungwon flounders, his cheeks turning pink, no doubt at the memory of everything you’ve done with him. “th-that’s not…well.” he laughs nervously. “how much can i say before it’s too much info?”

as you watch him with his toothy grin, with those eyes that crinkle in the corners, you know one thing - you absolutely adore him. it’s sudden, but how could you not? he’s everything. much as you hated him, it takes little of your pride to admit he’s been your lifeline for a while now. but you wonder, why would he pick you? for the sole reason that you know him well? that isn’t enough, is it? you may have never understood romance, but you’re guessing this isn’t the usual kind of reason people fall for other people.

besides, there’s nothing special about you.

you end up waiting for the conversation to drift to small talk before joining them back. as always, jungwon’s quick to revert to his usual, teasing self. and despite it all, you find your gaze to be on him the whole time.

it’s dark out when you guys finally make your way back to the dorms. with the others off buying water and snacks for a late-night hangout, you’re left alone with jungwon to head back. he’d conjured up some lie about you leaving some study material in his dorm and needing to grab it before going back to your own, and they seemed to buy it. so here you are, walking along a concrete pavement with the boy you can’t seem to understand, with rain practically beating down your backs. the weather really hates you.

with your path being lit only by the orange glow of the overhead street lamps, and the air filled with nothing but the sound of pouring rain, there’s nothing much you can say. nothing really feels right to say right now, because how do you even begin to address anything in the past month?

jungwon’s grip on the umbrella is tight. you swear it’s leaning slightly towards you. in his other hand is a plastic bag of merch you got from the amusement park, full of junk like headbands and shirts. 

wordlessly, you sneak your pinky into the palm of his hand, hooking your fingers together. there’s an odd sort of intimacy in the little gesture - a silent reassurance that concedes a lot more than you’re usually willing to. to your relief, jungwon doesn’t mention anything about it.

suddenly, his footsteps slow to a halt. he whips out a pair of sparklers from the bag you’d gotten from the amusement park, slipping one into your hands. “quickly, before they come back.” as he fumbles with the lighter, a familiar endearing look of concentration on his face makes you giggle a little. the lighter clicks a few times, and the sparklers come to life.

despite the pouring rain, the sparks of violet flash brightly, illuminating your view of each other. with his face glowing a pretty shade of purple, you can see the ridges in his face, from the dimples in his cheeks to the curve of his mouth. “and why exactly are we lighting fires in a downpour?”

“oh shut up, i’m trying to have a moment with you here.” the retort comes easily, a little too easy, seeing as he slaps his hand over his mouth almost immediately. “you heard nothing.”

“mhm.”

and then he’s wrapping his arm around your shoulders as you walk, the faint crackling filling the silence as you continue on. you can sense jungwon’s gaze on you, so you pinch his arm. “something on your mind?”

he exhales softly, patting your shoulder. “if i say it’s you?”

“then you’re a cheesy bastard. what’s really going on?”

he laughs, but you know there’s something lying under the surface. there always is. (huh, maybe you do know him better.)

“it’s nothing, really. just thinking about…us, i guess.” he pauses. “well, mostly you, if i’m being honest. i don’t really know where to start.”

you shift closer to him under the umbrella, till your cheek is pressed against his arm. “i think i do. your journal?”

“ah.” he grimaces, his laughter a little less nervous. “that much i’m sure you’ve already guessed. i don’t think i ever hated you, y/n. not really. i guess i just got scared that there was someone who saw through me so well.”

“and…are you still scared?”

he shakes head firmly. “no. it’s a good thing, because, well. you feel safe. like a place i can go to and let my guard down. i imagine doing things with you i’d never do with anyone else.”

“not naughty things, i hope,” you joke, but the brilliant red that blooms so bright across his face you can see in the dark is extremely telling. “yang jungwon! get your mind out of the gutter!”

feigning a cough, he looks away, fighting for whatever dignity he’s got left. “my point is, i can’t go on as your rival. i…i need you.” he swallows, and in his eyes there’s a vulnerability you know is saved only for you. “i don’t know why, but knowing you’re the only one who understands me is all i’ll ever need. selfish as it is, i want to keep you here forever, so i don’t have to feel alone again.” he says it all with a conviction that’s so strong it almost scares you. he’s putting all his trust into you. does he not think it’s terrifying, to leave all his sorrows with a person like you?

“are you confessing to me?” you whisper breathlessly. you seriously hope he can hear you over the crashing rainfall. “because i’m not sure if i’m-”

“yes. i’m confessing to you, like right now.”

oh. oh.

but there’s an ache in your chest that swells as you try to meet his glassy eyes. “but if you know me so well, you’ll know that i’m not all that. i’m an emotional wreck who can’t live without her ego, and i’m just…me.” and you’re so much more, more than i’ll ever be.

at this, he stops dead in his tracks, not giving a damn about the fact that the rain’s only getting heavier. “i-okay. what do you think of when you think of me?”

“how is this relevant?”

“just answer the question.”

you lick your dry lips, scouring your brain for a reply that can tell him exactly what you want him to know. “it’s like you can see who i am, like you know exactly what to do to make everything okay again. we’ve been under the same pressure to be good our whole lives, and when you try to make me feel better i can tell you mean it. and it works, and i honestly don’t know how i could possibly live without it, now that i know what it feels like to be loved by you.” if you’d told your younger self that years into the future, you’d get to bare your soul to your greatest rival, she’d probably laugh in your face. but here you are, and it’s comforting to know that he’d never judge you for it.

finally, yang jungwon grins that radiant grin of his, the tip of his sparkler meeting yours. “isn’t that reason enough, then, to keep me here? let’s be selfish for once, you goody-two-shoes.” the soft gaze he has on you has your already-weak resolve crumbling away, and it’s as though a hole’s been filled in your heart. one you didn’t even know existed.

“we’ve been too good our whole lives, haven’t we?”

“all the more a reason to be a little more reckless.”

but you let the sparkler fall to the puddle-strewn pavement as you cup his face in your palms, pressing your forehead to his. “for you? any leap of faith would be worth it.”

and you kiss him, with the force of every unsaid word, every apology and confession of the past eighteen years. as much as you’ve done this before with him, every other time he’s kissed you pales in comparison, because for once you see why you wanted him so badly. why you wanted him to have a piece of your soul. maybe, just maybe, pieces of you are already a part of him, and him of you. fragments of each of your shared pasts had embedded themselves in your hearts long before you’d learnt that the sting was one of longing, and not jealousy alone.

his grip on the umbrella loosens, his palm wraps around your nape, a thumb caressing your jaw in a movement both reverent and yearning. with the umbrella now blown far, far away, you’re completely drenched, but you can’t even bring yourself to care anymore. as his other hand moves to hold your waist, you’re surprised at how naturally it comes. you tug him closer, and it’s both everything you’ve ever wanted, but at the same time never enough. breathing in the lingering scent of his lotion, you decide that this, this is home.

“...what we had was special, you know, and i can’t just let - am i seeing things? oh shit, you guys have to see this, oh my-” sunoo’s voice rings out in the night, and this time you just giggle against jungwon’s lips, not bothering to even look at your rightfully flabbergasted friends. this time, you want them to know.

riki sneers in disgust as he flings your stray umbrella towards you both. “i’d congratulate you, but i’ll be too busy puking in that corner right over there.”

“as if you and your girlfriend aren’t worse,” jungwon teases, catching the umbrella with one hand, the other still on your hip. gosh, that was attractive. 

oh gosh, this guy’s your boyfriend. yang jungwon is your boyfriend.

by now, your friends have caught up with you, and you’ve got a feeling they’re about to circle you like starving vultures for a good story. but you can’t even bring yourself to mind as jungwon takes your hand into his, interlacing your fingers as he reopens the umbrella. “ready to go?”

anytime, if it’s with him. 

So really do you find these soulmates? Everyone is given a bracelet with a distinct charm on it at the young age of 10. These charms are supposed to link together when you meet them, they're stuck together for as long as the charm wants.

And although your charm was pretty looking, it still got stuck in inconvenient things. Your wrists turning red at the harsh metal. It looked pretty but was a bit too uncomfortable.

Although the thought of soulmates made you feel giddy, couples were insufferable in your early years of high school, constantly reminding you what you did not have. Or what you did not find.

But as you grew older, your excitement about finding your soulmate grew less and less. Many people found their soulmates at the beginning of high school, some even in middle school. Your parents found each other when they were 15, your older brother found his soulmate when he was 16. And at the age of 18, you felt everyone look down on you with pity.

And whatever hope you had, had started to diminish as you were now in your last year of high school. Just a year away from graduation, everyone around you was constantly worried about whether you would find your 'meant-to-be' or not.

Finding your soulmate way later in life wasn't unheard of, but the chances of finding that person becomes really low the older you get.

And so your parents decided for you that you should meet new people, hangout more often because apparently the reason you haven't found your soulmate is because you don't socialise. Which is understandable, considering you only have a set of friends that you interact with.

Thankfully, you did not have any problem with making friends. But sticked to the few you trusted, well because everyone at your school is either a crackhead, doesn't understand boundaries or just so much drama. So you happily agreed to going our more often when your parents mentioned.

But what was annoying was that you were being dragged to a different school's yearly festivals. Well not really annoying, now that you were promised a treat from your friends.

Someone in the group, you failed to notice who, had mentioned that you all should split in groups and explore whatever you wanted, since everyone wanted to do a different thing. And initially you had two of your friends with you, but after a while of mindlessly strolling you realised that you were alone, your friends vanishing, leaving you with a cat plushie you won.

You wandered around, looking around to find your friends as well as looking for something interesting to waste your money on.

You spotted someone wearing an orange beret, similar to what your friend had worn in the morning. Unfortunately the person was slowly going out of your line of sight and merging into the crowd. You had to move quickly and soon enough you were trying to push past a bunch of people.

You broke into a small jog, the person finally in your line of sight. But just then you felt a harsh tug on your wrist, it definitely wasn't someones hand that was gripping yours.

It didn't take you long to realise what the tug was, you slowly turned, hoping that your bracelet didn't get stuck in some random person's sleeve.

As you turned, you were met with wide worried eyes that were scanning your wrist. Your eyes moved down, still internally hoping, and the sight that you had dreamed numerous times was in front of you. In that moment, you just felt this strong urge to cry, no one in your life could understand the times you had felt alone while everyone around you just seemed so happy.

And no matter how much you try to gaslight yourself, you had desperately wanted to meet your soulmate. Everyone described it like such an enchanting moment, your mom said it felt like sparks were flying, you would feel that you've known this person your whole life.

But right now, the person in front of you seemed so unfazed about the fact that he had just found his soulmate. Rather he was focused on the fact that your wrist was bright red, it burned due to the harsh tug and there was a small cut that he hasn't seen yet.

"Are you okay?" he said, finally meeting your eyes, his own searching for any pain on your face. Surely you felt enchanted, not only because this was your soulmate, but also because he was the epitome of 'handsome yet cute'.

He tilted his eyes, confused at you blankly staring. No scratch that, he was cute as fuck.

Snapping out of the trance he had put on you, you say "Yeah, I'm fine." your whole face was burning up at his intense staring. You were surprised you managed to sound normal.

"I don't think this is gonna let go any time soon." he said, talking about the charms. "Do you mind if we hung out together? Consider this our first date. My name is Jungwon." he said, gently smiling, dimples appearing on his cheeks. God he was too cute.

Clearing your throat, you managed to nod and return his smile, your eyes still staring at his dimples.

He looked behind his to tell his friends to go on without him, you just realised that there were around half a dozen people behind his that were just staring at you, trying to bore holes into you. A couple of them had a teasing smile when you looked at them, two of them covering their wide open mouths. Only one person seemed laid back and he motioned Jungwon to go on, dragging the others away with him.

Jungeon looked back at you after making sure his friends weren't fooling around or staring at you, "Let's go?" he said still smiling. You felt like you were going to combust.

The rest of the day was spent getting to know each other, Jungwon surprisingly being a very easy person to talk to. You both opened up about how you two were the only people in your respective friend groups who were soulmate-less, "Well, not anymore." was his reply, with a cheeky grin, avoiding your eyes.

And despite how respective he was, he was also flirty. Like not flirty in a creepy way, he was still respectful of your boundaries but he had some kind of charm that just made you flush bright red. Or maybe you were just whipped for him, despite knowing him for such a small time.

With red cheeks and shy waves, and a promise to meet again, the date had ended.

You could finally understand why people could write whole books just about their soulmates, you felt such a deep sense of endearment when you looked at him. You finally understood why your friends were so whipped for their soulmates, constantly yapping about them.

Your friends were surely going to hear an earful for leaving you alone, but you had a feeling that you were going to talk way more about Jungwon.