so uh, hello everyone. i realize it’s been quite a while since i last posted. i sincerely i doubt there’s been anyone aching for updates from me or something from the sort, but i’d feel better doing this, i think. there’s still 2k of you still following me, and i’d like to think my words will reach at least one person.

it’s been over a year since i created this blog. i have changed exponentially since then. i would not classify myself as a yandere anymore. it’s not that i look down on people who do (unless they’re harmful and abusive, i absolutely look down on people like that). it’s just not the kind of mentality i’d like to have. when i first created this blog, i was dating a person that i’m not even friends with anymore. it’s not like we had some big fight or something, we just.. stopped talking. i look back at these things i’ve written about them, and i don’t feel even a tingle. rather, i think about how strange it is i was so obsessed with someone and just a little over a year later i’m in such a different place. i still experience love. i had another relationship, with someone who’s still very dear to me. i don’t think i’m over him, in fact. and yet i’m talking about it on a very public blog where he could likely see it. it doesn’t matter. the point is, i’m very different now but i’ve retained some of the traits i see in the ally that posted on this blog many months ago. i can still get jealous or obsessive. i’m still clingy. i’m still developing emotionally and i don’t always make the best choices. but see, the reason i’m writing all of this, and why i’m exposing my very private emotions, is because of how many people with yandere blogs i see that remind me of how i was. i see so many of you thinking about how you’ll never get better, how you’ll always be emotionally unhealthy, how you’ll never be loved, how you can’t stop yourself from doing bad things but want to change. i want to tell you that it’s really possible to change. it’s hard to imagine, you without these obsessive feelings following you 24/7. some of you have even based your entire lives around this yandere persona, to the point where you have nothing without it. that’s really not a good thing. and this is not a good environment to get better. i’m not ‘bashing the yandere community’ or whatever you might think. i’ve never had personal feuds with anyone here, although i’ve seen some questionable things. i’m just saying, even if this place can be a great support group for people who have similar experiences and emotions, it’s also terrible to constantly have people validating your unhealthy thoughts. please don’t fall too deep into this rabbit hole. try to do some stuff for yourself. log off tumblr, watch a tv show, go for a walk. find new things to be passinate about. i’m not trying to simplify things - change is difficult. as i said, i’m still not unlike the old me, i’ve kept some parts of myself. and more importantly, getting better might require so much more. please, if you think you need professional help, a therapist, anything, try to find one. don’t ignore your emotions and feelings if they become destructive. find new people if you think it’d be better - there’s many roads you can take towards change. just please, please don’t give up, don’t fall victim to this unhappy lifestyle.