Thoughts of the Quiet's

But you deserve better than me

I’ve hurt you so many times

The selfishness I’ve learned from my parents

Is hard to unlearn when I feel like a 12 year old child in front of them

I try to please everyone because that’s all I’ve ever known

I let the pleaser in me put you last

When you are my number one

Forming bonds are no longer easy

Sharing a bag of chips won’t cut it,

Letting someone borrow your favorite pencil won’t either

Our small group we formed still small but now farther

Wishing you can spend time with your chosen siblings

But all you can do is hope you never find out what they do without you

You try to move on and create new friendships

But how can you trust someone who has never seen your awkward stages

Or have never seen the many yous that were your trial and errors

But…..

for some reason……

You try anyway

Some relationships don’t last or some people don’t understand you

Even there are times where neither of you think a friendship is worth the effort

Then you meet a person who you think is your friend

You think maybe just maybe

Until you find out, you are just a substitute

I am a substitute friend for when your friends are busy

when you are alone, and you want to be busy

When the world does not stop on your day off 

Knowing I’m friendless so you drag me along

That’s OK though

There will be a point, when we forget each other just like all the other “friends” I’ve tried to make

I keep the messages of them all

Just so I won’t keep making the same mistakes

I am a substitute friend and I don’t know if that’s really OK 



Stagnant in one spot

8 plants move around its obit sucking up the rays

They sometimes meet once in awhile

Yet when aligned all together they all become one

Not able to move with them or grow close

If the sun expands the fearful end would near

And just because the sun was lonely it destroys

Have you stepped outside when the air was quite

But there were still birds chirping and a few cars still driving

The sound of warm weather music far in the distance shading itself into the sky

For that split moment of silent air you feel light

As if you are walking the streets of a haven in the clouds

One that's away from our human lives

The life where you live to work and work to live

The life where you stress over inevitably, furthering goals, and traits that you want erased

That silent air somehow creates an air pocket from life

A moment where you breath like it's been your first breath in months

There is just something about just walking in air that makes your body feel nonexistent

A soliloquy preformed to our reversed audience of one

Solely sunlight setting the room into a grey and yellow tone

An air of a still silence announces its presence

The room now only echoing the emptiness

The words and thoughts released a spherical shaped drop from the outer crease of the right

And another falls down the center of the left

Two tear drops

Came and gone

Like milking a cow that has gone dry

Like sucking the straw of a flattened capri sun

Like crying the last tears you can cry

It all

Just

Stoped

Puffy and bagged eyes illustrated onto a painting of sadness

A painting of crumpled up hopelessness

Heart heavy my body is stronger

Blood is boiling yet breathing is calm

I've grown more than I ever thought I would

But what I had to go through to find out

Stop

can you please stop

I'm at the end of my rope

An I want it to be cut

Every word that you say slices me like a shard of glass

When I was born I was a tree

And up until now I've been a tree with no branches

Just a log in the ground

Every time one of branches started to grow leaves you cut the branch off

Like you want to control what grows and what does not

Every year it's got worse till it all

stopped

But all that was was the silence before the storm

Now each cut is that of a machete

And it hurts

It hurts SO bad

My roots are starting to lift from the ground and I'm becoming unbalanced

CAN YOU PLEASE JUST

A woman trapped in the way she sees the world

A woman thats so beautiful that the sun rises only to see her

A woman so smart she puts scientists into shame

A woman that sees life and sees all as amazing things

She is a woman but she is still human

A human that makes mistakes and has imperfections

But those mistakes makes her astounding and amazing because she still stands strong

Even when the world is a sea of grass that wants to pull her down

She is a woman that stands tall that wont let the weeds take her down

My heart is a bass

Your love is a guitar pick

You play my strings like a goddess of love

As genial and sweet as a fresh baked pastry

The way your hands crest my neck as if I were a delicate dandelion in the middle of spring

And with every string you pluck, sends a vibration of lustful satisfaction fluttering from the pit of my stomach to all over

Together we make a sound that makes the world swoon and the stars melt

I had a dream about you last night

I don't know how I feel about that

The thought of you was gone for awhile

Until you decided to make a guess appearance in dreamland

Seeing your face made me miss you

Yet then want to never face you in this life for a second time

If we meet again would we be like that dream?

Passionately hugging and starting agian?

I wish that I kissed you the way Gods kiss

I wish I cuped your body with more love than what I can give

I wish I ran too you when you began to slowly walk out my life

But, wish is a meaningless word

When I breath your name, or your picture, or anything that's you

It's like the waters of fire trickle down my throat

With the effects of numbness and irritation

Like I'm allergic to having you on my mind

When you try to reach out you have no idea of what you do

Every word, every movement, every glance

Is a knife cutting open what I've sown from our encounter

Just live your life and don't turn my way

I like it when we dont know each other

Because any thought of you ruins my day

My lungs start wheezing

My chest a thimble

Heart black and burned

Like a void on the inside

If I say one word to you

I just might break down and die

Because once upon a time I saw you as my light

My number one