Lundy Bancroft is a Counselor who spent decades treating both victims and perpetrators, and wrote the definitive text on Domestic Violence “Why Does He Do That?”. He has repeatedly stated that the common denominator in abusers’ childhoods is not abuse and trauma - but having a misogynistic male role model they looked up to. Their problem is in their value system. Most of them are mentally and emotionally stable overall in their lives, and improving their mental health usually doesn’t change their abusiveness. They view women and children as their property and they believe in their paradigm that what they are doing is justified and correct. “They don’t do anything they think is wrong” Lundy says. “He’s not abusive because he’s angry, he’s angry because he’s abusive.”

The overwhelming majority of incest cases are of either biological or non-biological fathers raping their female children, and most of those offenders are not pedophiles (in the clinical definition) and most were not molested as kids (though many do lie about that). They rape little girls because they see them as property and as an easily accessible sexual object. It often occurs after a separation or major life event. Men are not supposed to see themselves as caregivers of children under patriarchy, they’re supposed to see themselves as owners of women and by extension children. They’re taught to disconnect from any loving bond to a child as a human being that would enable empathy for them and prevent sexual or other abuse. They’re taught to not see female people, even children, as whole people outside of what they can give them sexually and otherwise so they tend to adultify girls.

We see this a lot with children too, and people are quick to say “No, children can’t manipulate you” which is the wrong argument because they can but they don’t deserve your anger for that. Children are completely powerless to obtain any of their wants and needs without an adult, the fact they learn behavior to try to actively get what they want and need from adults is a normal human function they are unfairly demonized for because they aren’t seen as people who are allowed to want and need anything that someone else doesn’t decide for them.

Second of all, we’re literally talking about laws that directly harm women and children in abusive relationships or households. That is not political, it is politics. You vote for who makes the laws - that is what politics fucking is. Do you think politics is just yelling at people online and cheering for “your team” with no actual consequences? Probably you do if you keep voting Republican or not voting at all because anyone who understands reality and consequences wouldn’t be that fucking stupid.

At-Fault Divorce traps women in abusive relationships because they can’t leave without “proving” abuse to a patriarchal legal system stacked against them and even if they can “prove” it, being forced to go through extra legal hoops puts women in prolonged danger and contact with their abuser. Abortion Bans allow abusers to trap women in abusive relationships and weaponize State Violence against them if they try to leave, murder is the #1 cause of death for pregnant people and abusers often show their true colors the moment you’re married, pregnant, or sick because they’re predators and see you as trapped. Actively dismantling Domestic Violence resources and research that took decades to build-up because it’s “DEI” harms victims.