✍🏻

4th of July is coming up and you guys have rented a big cabin upstate for three days to celebrate. It’ll be the last hurrah before the Bar exams. So naturally you’re immensely looking forward to this even though you’re nervous. It’ll be strange sharing a room with Dominick but there’s no other way to sort out the sleeping arrangement and you’re not going to send him sleeping on the sofa or an air mattress. It’s definitely odd hanging out with other people who are dating because you see how different it is. They’re all holding hands in public, being all cuddly with each other. It’s not that you envy them but admittedly, it’s awkward. Dominick doesn’t seem to care or he is just as good as you are at pretending he doesn’t notice. No one decided that you had to be this way about it but it is what it is. Not that it wouldn’t be nice to be close all the time. Not that you don’t appreciate what you have with him. There’s still an intimacy. You do lean in. You do let your fingers brush over his skin every chance you get. He does wrap his arms around your waist. And his hand does glide up your thigh under the table. But it’s small, it’s delicate, it’s hidden. It’s between Dominick and you, no one else.   

____________________

‘It’s a bit weird, isn’t it?’ You put your bag down on the bed and stare at him.

‘What do you mean?’ he asks but he knows exactly what you mean, annoying little shit. 

‘Us shacking up.’

‘Oh, come on.’ Dominick chuckles. ‘We can play house for the weekend. It’s not a big deal.’

Yeah, I can’t be sober for this, you think to yourself. This is already making you way more anxious than it should be. Here you are in a room with Dominick and he’s unpacking his clothes like he’s moving in with you, and all of a sudden it bothers you how neat he is for a man. And you want to slap yourself. It’s not fair that you feel like this. It’s not his fault. Maybe you should fuck. Hard. Fast. Get it out of your system before you go downstairs and start partying. Because there’s something in the air you don’t want there. You casually pull off your dress and throw it at him, and he looks up. 

‘Right now?’ he asks, his eyes wandering over your naked body.

‘Right now.’ you say, pretty much leaping across the bed at him.

You’ve already come to the conclusion that everything can be solved with sex when it comes to the two of. Sad? Sex. Mad? Sex. Confused? Sex. Stressed? Sex. Insert whichever mood here. Sex. It works every time. Sometimes it makes it worse but at least you had amazing, mind-blowing sex. This is probably why you could never work as a couple. No serious discussions would ever happen because there could be no actual solutions. There would just be a lot of fucking. 

Like right now. You, on the edge of the bed in front of him, biting your lip as you unzip his jeans in a hurry, stroking him to hardness which doesn’t take much effort. Dominick, pushing you back on the mattress, happy you didn’t bother with underwear but his hands still touching you everywhere -  just not there yet. You’re always in so much more of a hurry than he is. And he always laughs at your impatience. And you always curse him for it. You wiggle under him until you’re on your stomach, raising your hips. 

‘Come on, fuck me.’ you instruct him and he sighs, knowing he can’t refuse anyway.

He grabs you roughly but it’s what you want and he knows it. By now, he knows everything. You two have done this enough times to know exactly what kind of mood the other is in, the ways you like it, when, how, where. Dominick knows you’re wet enough for him to push into you without warming you up first, and you moan a string of yes’s into the mattress loudly as confirmation, adjusting to his size. He knows not to be slow and gentle but fast and hard, he knows it won’t take you long to climax but he starts rubbing your clit in tight circles, intensifying your pleasure. Truth is, he loves taking you whichever way and he gets a kick out of you letting him take the lead as much as the other way round. And yes, he prefers looking at your face when you cum but there’s something about your wet, stretched pussy pushing back on his cock when he fucks you from behind that drives him absolutely wild. The way you get when you moan ‘please Dominick, harder’ and he digs his fingers into you, picking up the pace, his dick so deep inside your throbbing walls the bed is shaking. The sounds you’re making are obscene but it’s turning him on even more, and neither of you care if your friends can hear you.

‘Fuck yes, Dominick! Just like that, yes! So good! So so fucking good! Oh myyy goooood!’ you yelp, your hands grabbing the sheets, trying to hold on.

‘Babe, you feel so incredible!’ he softly slaps your ass before squeezing it and it makes you giggle, you love it when he gets like that, his feral side showing.

And vice versa. Before Dominick, you always felt degraded in this position, mostly because it was never on your terms whereas now it is. So with him, it’s the hottest thing. You love being his, completely. You love being used by him like you’re his little toy while not feeling used. It’s such a turn-on. You’re each other’s playthings. The view he has must be so fucking hot. The way he feels pounding into your soaking wet pussy, hitting your sweet spot with every thrust, it’s like you and him are made for each other. Fitting perfectly together like pieces of a puzzle. You meet his rough thrusts, pushing back on him, eliciting those deep moans from him, and soon you are both panting messes, close to your orgasms. He lets go of your hips, letting you set the rhythm, his fingers still on your pulsing clit, keeping pressure there and the sensations you feel are quickly becoming too much. You cry into the bed, shuddering, begging him please, please, please, before falling apart. You cum hard, a scream escaping your lips, thankfully muffled by the sheets scrunched up in your hands, and Dominick still fucks into you ferociously, a mixture of curse words and your name leaving his mouth in moans. Your vision fades to black as your pussy continues to pulse around him while you feel him cum too, grabbing you hard and burying his dick deep into your quivering cunt, releasing himself. His moans truly are the sexiest sounds you ever heard from a man, and the fact you are the reason for it makes you feel like you are on top of the world, elevating your orgasm even more. 

‘Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.’ he pulls out and collapses next to you, eyes closed, breathing heavily.

Your face is still buried in the sheets and you feel like you may need minutes, hours even before you can catch your breath. Your whole body is still shaking, like electricity is running through it, the center of it being between your legs. And you don’t even know how much time passes before Dominick nudges you.

‘We should probably, you know, take a shower and go downstairs. Join the others.’

‘I don’t think I can. I can’t feel my legs.’ you joke with a smile, blinking up at him from under your hair. 

‘Sounds like a serious medical condition.’ he looks at you sweetly, pushing all that hair away from your face.

‘Sounds like you fucked the living shit out of me.’ you reply, leaning in for a kiss, realizing it’s the first one you’ve shared today even though you just, well, fucked the living shit out of each other. 

Dominick kisses you back deeply, pulling you on top of him, arms wrapped around you tightly, feeling the same significance of it. 

______________

‘Well, how nice of you two to join us.’ Louisa says, glaring at Dominick and you as you walk into the open downstairs area.

It’s already 6pm. She’s behind the small bar, mixing a drink and the others are outside by the water, you can only hear muffled voices and laughter. It’s only been an hour but it’s pretty obvious, to her anyway. Everyone else has already had plenty of alcohol and probably doesn’t care. Not that you or Dominick do. 

‘Yeah, well we had a lot to unpack.’ you grin, looking at Dom, who just takes a sip of his beer, giving you a cheeky side-eye. 

‘I bet you did. You want a drink?’ she asks, grabbing the Vodka. 

‘Do your worst.’ you reply. 

‘I’ll see you out there.’ Dominick says, slightly tugging on one of the strings of your bikini before walking out to join the others, giving you some space with your best friend.

Louisa loves Dominick. She adores him. She thinks he’s the one for you. And you told her to zip it. Which she did. She’s the only one who knows what happened in your past relationship, how it still kind of haunts you today. The mind games Daniel played with you, the way he manipulated you, gaslit you. How long it took you to free yourself of him and how much you now loved being single, free, independent. That no man had control over you, could tell you what to do. You downplayed it but Louisa called it abuse. Maybe it was. Maybe it was some sort of trauma you had to deal with. The couple of times he had slapped you, you hadn’t felt victimized, and the last time you had slapped him back, and that had been it. You had left. 

However, the other stuff had been worse for you. It had started small, with him suggesting what clothes you should wear. And in the end you didn’t even realize that he chose your entire wardrobe, you thought it was an act of love, his attention to detail. ‘Oh he just loves to coordinate outfits.’ you would say. And when you picked a red lipstick instead of a nude one he would get so pissed, and at the end of the night there would be a massive argument. Or it would be over the fact that you talked too much, that you made him look stupid in front of his colleagues, dinner guests, whoever. You always had to dumb yourself down, ‘Just look pretty and shut the fuck up.’ he would say. And you were never good enough anyway. Your tits were too small yet if you were wearing a showy dress you looked slutty and he told you to cover up. You weren’t tall enough yet if you were wearing heels you looked like a hooker. And of course, he called your ambitions to become a human rights lawyer childish, and told you to go into finance like him. You couldn’t recognize yourself anymore. It took interventions from your friends and that one last slap across the face for you to finally leave. The worst thing of it all? Your family had adored him. Saw him as the ideal future son-in-law. You had never confided in them, not even in your brother, who you usually told everything to. It was too embarrassing, you were too ashamed. Your mother had taught you to be a strong woman, a feminist, and in your eyes, you had let yourself, and her, down. 

Afterwards you solely focused on your studies. Fordham more or less absorbed you. Your friends didn’t see you for months unless it was in class, you didn’t visit your family in Connecticut, it was just you and the books. Everyone was studying for the Bar anyway so it didn’t matter and you had a good excuse to become a hermit. Until that Memorial Day weekend in the Hamptons. That fateful weekend. 

With Dominick, you feel like a different person. Not the person all of this happened to. In a way, you can pretend you’re not that person. He makes you feel all the things Daniel never had. But you also know that you can’t depend on a man to make you feel these things. So in the end that’s exactly why you can’t be with him. There’s too much baggage. You can’t bring it into something new. It would fuck with everything. 

‘You really can’t help yourselves, huh?’ Louisa hands you your drink, shaking her head with a smirk, obviously referring to Dominick and you. 

You shrug, looking at him, outside in the sun. Yes, it would be nice if he was all yours. In a way he is. But only in a way. You can pretend, at least. But you can’t pretend he doesn’t make your heart beat faster. You can’t pretend you don’t long for him when he’s not with you, that you don’t long for what you don’t have with him. You can’t pretend you don’t wish things were different sometimes; that you two had started off more conventionally. But you can’t change it now. It’s clear where he stands, you made the rules, you drew the line in the sand. It’s better like this for the both of you. And it’s most likely just the sex anyway; messing with your head. 

________________

‘You could help a little bit?’ Dominick sighs, but you just giggle, slapping his arm away. 

You’re drunk. Not naked wasted drunk but drunk. A little bit more than tipsy drunk. You can definitely still walk but you decided that Dominick should carry you anyway because he’s such a strong man. Thing is, you’re both wet because you had just been in the hot tub and it’s slippery, and you still have a glass of wine in your hand and a towel wrapped around you. It’s a logistical nightmare. Truth is, he’s slightly annoyed with you because you got flirty with him and he wanted to kiss you but you wouldn’t let him. It’s not like he wanted to make out in the hot tub, all he wanted was a kiss. So you ended up drinking more wine and started making out with him after all and then it got too much for him and he told you to stop and then you got annoyed with him. And now he’s annoyed with you because you’re annoyed with him. But you still want him to carry you but you don’t because he’s acting like a dumb boy. It’s not like it was your fault he could feel your nipples through your bikini and got a boner.

‘Ugh, then DON’T!’ you run upstairs and into your room.

You empty your glass in one big gulp and throw yourself down on the bed, Dominick follows, closing the door behind him quietly. He’s not that sober either but a bit more than you, at least.

‘Take me.’ you say, letting your hands glide over your breasts seductively.

‘You’re too drunk, babe.’ he laughs, leaning against the door, shaking his head.

‘So? I was drunk the night we met.’ you reply, untying your top and disposing of it on the floor. 

‘We were both tipsy, not drunk. If I fucked you right now that would be taking advantage.’ 

‘Oh please, Mister Lawyer Man, take advantage of me.’ you giggle, not taking him seriously for a second. If anything, you’re getting more annoyed. ‘Please, I want you so bad, I want you to fuck me. Please baby, please.’ 

Dominick seems amused by you begging like that but doesn’t stop you as you shed your wet bikini bottoms. After all he’s just a man, a man who wants you. He can’t deny it. 

‘Not like this. We can when we sober up. You need to go to bed and sleep, okay? Come on.’ He grabs your legs and lifts the covers to attempt to get you into bed but you start whining. 

‘Dominick, you are so fucking hot, please. I need you. I want you. Like, you are sooooooooo hot. I need you to please fuck me right now.’ You kick the sheets away and grab his arms, trying to pull him on top of you but he fights you off. 

‘Listen to me. Not when you’re this drunk, okay. I can’t. I wouldn’t feel good about that.’

‘Ughhhhhh.’ You fall back into the pillow with resignation. ‘Why do you have to be like this? Huh? Why do you have to be so good? So proper? So decent? Why can’t you be like any other man, taking advantage of a woman in my state?’

‘Well, because I’m not like that, okay. And we can do this anywhere, anytime, you know that. Just not like this. I’m gonna get you a glass of water, and we’re gonna go to sleep. And if you’re not too hungover in the morning, I promise, we’ll have hot, crazy sex.’ he disappears into the bathroom and you feel so stupid, so lame, like the biggest loser on the planet. 

He gets under the covers with you and it’s like your brain goes into overdrive and you know you should stop it but you can’t. You know you’re gonna regret it in the morning, unless you won’t remember, please God, don’t let me remember, you think. 

‘You’re a good man, you’re such a good man, Dominick. You’re gonna make a good husband one day. You’re gonna meet a good woman and be such a good husband to her and that woman is not gonna be me. Because I’m a mess and I don’t deserve a man like you. I mean, I put out on the first night like a slut and good women don’t do that and you deserve a good woman.’

‘Stop talking, okay. You’re talking nonsense. You need to try and go to sleep.’

‘You think you like me so much but it’s just because I let you fuck me on the first night we met, that’s all it is, Dominick, believe me. There’s nothing special about me. It’s all in your head. Because men are all the same at the end of the day, you all think with your dicks, you think you have feelings for someone but you don’t. You just get cunt-drunk, is all. You have to stop obsessing over me.’

‘Okay, sure. Whatever you say. Go to sleep now.’ he says, turning away from you and there’s never really been this much space between you.

And you didn’t notice that sound in his voice because you were too caught up with your own shit, and even if you had, you wouldn’t have known what it meant. There’s too many drunken thoughts swimming through your head right now, too many, and none of them are making any sense. You don’t understand why he turned away from you like this. You want him to hold you and hug you and kiss you. At the same time you want him to be gone forever. Never see him again in your life. It would be easier like that. In fact, you wish you had never met him; had never given in to your desire that night. It was so out of character for you, whatever possessed you that night, it was wrong, all sorts of wrong. No matter how good it felt, no matter how good it feels all the damn time with him. It’s true what you said. At the end of the day, he’s too good of a man for you. Does that mean you want him to be the man for you? It doesn’t matter anymore. 

When you fall asleep you don’t even know what you said anymore. All you remember is that you started crying. And finally felt his arms around you, a whispered ‘Shh’ in your ear. More crying. His lips on your temple. And lots of fucked up dreams.

________________

thank you so much to my betareader for this chapter @pascalispretty aka The Rose of the Reach on AO3 please check out her works!)

________________

Sometimes you make it to the bedroom and then it’s slow and lazy but never any less desperate and intense. Every now and then he kisses you goodbye after and you watch him leave with regret, you can tell he feels it too but quite often he asks to stay and you let him. And when that happens, you regret it just as much. It’s the way you feel his chest rise and fall as he holds you against him, his breath tickling your neck. When all the heat of passion, want, and sex has escaped your body and the night is supposed to be just peaceful and still. How can he just sleep like that while you’re left alone with your thoughts? While your mind is racing, overthinking? Eventually you do fall asleep and most mornings Dominick is gone, only a cup of coffee remaining for you on the nightstand.

You still have the occasional breakfast together and it’s nice, but he has accepted the fact that it might be something he wants, but you feel awkward about. Truth is, you’re not sure how you feel about it. It was sweet when he did it the first time, you think back fondly; you two sitting there eating and laughing. But you’re worried how it would become too homely with him and then it would get too comfortable and well, there’s the rules. The goddamn rules. It’s sort of fucked up that they exist in a vacuum since most of the time when you’re naked together and Dominick’s body feels so good and you whisper those sweet nothings to each other it seems there are no rules. What a hypocrite you are; you demand this closeness, this intimacy, to own him in such a way. Just for this moment, and then it’s over and you send him on his merry way and although you crave him again immediately, you don’t allow yourself to have him permanently. And why? You can’t answer it. All you know is that it wouldn’t work.

________________

‘God, I’m starving.’ you cry as thunder rumbles in the distance and the first light raindrops begin to fall. Finally. It’s been humid all day, the pressure and heat trapped between the buildings of the city.

‘Let’s go out for dinner then.’ Dominick suggests. The two of you on his bed, on your stomachs, chins resting on your forearms, staring out the window. You’re grateful for the cool breeze that comes flooding into his bedroom. 

‘No. I said no dates.’

‘Oh, come on. Don’t be like that. It doesn’t have to be a date. You’re hungry, I’m hungry, let’s just go eat.’

It’s true, he keeps asking. And you keep saying no. Hanging out is cool, going out for dinner together with your friends is cool but you draw the line at him taking you out for dinner. Maybe it’s silly but sitting in a restaurant together is what couples do. Plus, knowing him he would choose a place with a special ambience, not just a diner around the corner. 

‘I’m gonna order us a pizza because that’s what normal people do. In case you haven’t noticed, there’s a thunderstorm coming.’ You wrap the bedsheet around yourself and get up, wandering into the kitchen to grab one of the menus from his fridge as well as your phone but he follows you and takes them from you.

‘I can make us something. How about…bruschetta. You’re gonna love it. I promise.’ You know this is his version of a date but you have to give it to him. And you do love bruschetta. And you always love watching him prepare food with these beautiful hands of his. 

‘Okay…’ you give in and pick up your dress from the floor, pulling it over your head and chuckle as he runs back into the bedroom enthusiastically to put on some clothes as well before returning to the kitchen where you have made yourself comfortable on the counter. ‘Show me what you got, chef.’

‘Well calm down, it’s just bruschetta.’ Dominick laughs while getting his cutting board and knife out, then heading over to the fridge to take out the ingredients. 

‘People have been known to fuck up bruschetta. Hell, I once ate this soggy piece of whatever it was in fucking Florence, of all places.’

‘Not on my watch.’ he says with a serious look on his face as he picks the basil leaves and smells them before stacking and gently rolling them. 

‘So, you never told me who taught you how to cook, your mom?’ you ask curiously and he frowns for a second before continuing, cutting the basil carefully. 

‘Umm…no..umm… My grandma actually.’ he pauses and turns his back to you, washing the roma tomatoes in the sink and you get the weird feeling you might have said something wrong because the process seems to be taking way too long. When he finally returns to the cutting board his expression is unreadable. ‘I never really knew my parents.’ 

‘Oh.’ Is all you manage, and you wish you hadn’t asked, a feeling of instant regret in your stomach. 

‘Yeah, umm. They died when I was little, car accident. Drunk driver hit them. So my maternal grandparents raised me.’ He grabs a tomato but leaves it lying there on the board, just staring down at it as momentum makes it roll back and forth.

There’s a lump in your throat as you swallow hard and you join him in staring at the tomato, not quite sure what to say, or even what to do. Fuck. Even though you two had shared a few personal conversations, the topic of your families had never come up before. There had been comments about each other’s childhoods said in passing, yes, but nothing specific, you had never gone into detail. In all honesty, not much talking was involved when you two spent time together unless you were with friends. This is an entirely new situation. You reach out to softly touch his hand and thankfully, he lets you. 

‘Dominick, I’m so sorry. I…I’m so sorry.’

‘It’s okay, you couldn’t have known. Really. It’s okay. I’m okay. It’s been a long time.’ He looks at you, his thumb caressing your hand.

‘Still….I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say.’

‘It’s okay.“ He says again. ‘Like I said, I was really young. But yeah, guess now you know what made me want to become a lawyer.’

‘He got acquitted?’

‘Spoiled kid from a rich family. They just made it go away. Had friends in higher places my grandparents couldn’t match since they couldn’t afford a good lawyer. He basically just told them to take the money and the deal. They didn’t have a choice. They had to think about the future. I can’t blame them. And believe me, I don’t think people should be punished for every mistake they make. But I think there should be accountability. And buying your way out of shit that you created yourself, it shouldn’t be an option. Rich folks should have to face the same consequences everyone else has to face. That’s where the system’s corrupt. It makes me sick. Even then I knew it was wrong.’ he says and you nod in agreement.

‘How old were you?’

‘Three. I’m lucky that the few memories I have of them are happy ones.’

‘They would be so proud of you. And you will be an exceptional lawyer, I have no doubt about that.’ You slip off the counter and hug him; a fierce, heartfelt hug that you keep intensifying by hugging him closer again and again. Dominick sighs, resting his cheek on top of your head, his arms wrapped around you tightly. 

You don’t know how long you two stand like this. It’s only your stomach growling loudly that breaks it up. He laughs and you apologize, your cheeks bright red with embarrassment. 

‘No need. All I want to do right now is make that fucking bruschetta for you.’ He kisses your hair. ‘Thank you.’

And he looks at you adoringly, like no man ever has.

__________________

‘Can I stay with you tonight?’ you ask, after licking your fingers clean. That bruschetta really hit the spot, delicious. 

You sit by the open window, watching the rain fall, the latest crashing thunder has just subsided. It’s really pouring down now. 

‘Well, I wouldn’t send you out in this weather.’ Dominick replies with a smirk, grabbing your plate and walking over to the kitchen to place it in the sink along with his own.

‘Me asking to stay has nothing to do with the weather and everything to do with the fact that I would like to stay with you tonight.’

If Dominick wants you to admit it then fine, you’re going to admit it. You really want to stay with him. It has nothing to do with not wanting to dread the conditions outside, being too lazy to get on the train, sex, or anything else. You just want to be with him. Perhaps it’s the way he opened up to you about his parents, the way he was so vulnerable for the first time. Of course it was a coincidence that the conversation went in this direction, but he didn’t have to take it that far. However, for some reason he did, for some reason he trusted you, and all screwing each other and being silly together aside, you feel just as close to him in a different way for the first time. And it surprisingly doesn’t scare you. You thought it would. Quite the opposite is the case actually; you want to protect it. Wrap it up in silk so it wouldn’t scratch, put a ribbon around it, then hide it deep within you for safekeeping. Like a sacred token. Even if you’re not sure what to do with it yet. You feel honored to have it, proud. And you are convinced he is aware and there’s a secret understanding between you two now. About this slight shift that has occurred, like tectonic plates after an earthquake, and where you settle isn’t quite clear but that’s okay. As long as you continue to tread carefully.

The smile he displays is nothing short of victorious. ‘If that’s the case…’

And you find yourselves on the couch watching Blade Runner. It’s not romantic because that’s not what you want, but it’s cozy and comfortable. Dominick has his arm around you and you’re leaning against him and for a moment you think, this is what couples do but right now you don’t think twice about it. 

When the movie ends he pulls you up from the couch and you go and brush your teeth together in his bathroom. Dominick gives you one of his shirts to sleep in and smiles when he sees you in it. It’s the strangest feeling when you get into bed together and it’s not with the usual feverish urgency. The one you had already satisfied multiple times earlier anyway when you returned from meeting up with your friends for a drink after work. Still, you had never gotten into bed with him unless you were, well, fucking. So now you’re under the covers with him, face to face and you feel oddly confused, not knowing what to do or say. This is a new version of you two. Here to stay, you’re not sure. All you know is that you love the way you feel wearing his clothes, the way they smell, the soft fabric on your skin, the thrill he obviously gets from sharing them with you. 

Dominick moves closer to you, your legs entangle under the sheets. 

‘What I would give to know what you’re thinking right now.’ he says, his hands resting under his cheek.

‘I don’t even know what I’m thinking right now.’ Now you’re the one moving closer, until your noses touch.

You feel like a walking contradiction with him constantly. Things you never thought you’d do, you’ve done with him. From the start he has managed to elicit from you thoughts and actions you were never capable of before. And he didn’t even have to try. It was just the fact that he existed. Any other guy would have taken advantage, would have used that power maliciously for sure. Not Dominick though. He gave you back that power. It was that fact that made it so good. Nothing made sense with him but everything made sense with him.

______________

You wake up to a rainy Saturday morning, and a new thunderstorm has crept its way in. The clock reads 07:04 and Dominick is still fast asleep, arms wrapped around you protectively while your head is resting on his chest. His heartbeat is steady, his breathing in a deep state of relaxation that could lull you back to sleep but you don’t want to let it. Your hand reaches out to tenderly touch his chest, fingers playing with the soft hairs there and he stirs but doesn’t wake so you continue, drawing small circles on his skin. Next, your lips join. Pressing little kisses where your hands have been and he sighs in his sleep, arms tightening around you while under the sheets you can feel him grow hard. This is what you wanted, and you can’t help but smile. Still, you wonder how long you can manage until he fully wakes. You resume with your kisses on his warm skin; gently, slowly, while breathing in his scent. Pulling down the sheet a little, you move down to his stomach, following that trail of hair downwards with your mouth, tongue sneaking out and it’s then you suddenly hear him sleepily sigh your name. Biting your lip, you look up at him but his eyes are still closed.

‘And what do you think you’re doing, hmm?’ he asks, voice husky.

‘I think you know what I’m doing, and I think you’d like me to continue.’ 

You kiss your way back up to his mouth and your lips meet his for a hungry kiss you withdraw from again immediately, his eyes flutter open, searching yours.

Without giving him time to think or say anything, you kiss him again before letting your mouth wander down his chin and up his jaw. He grabs you, hands already restlessly roaming over your body. Down his neck you go, softly nibbling, and you aim to pay him back for the hickey of that first week, knowing fairly well he doesn‘t mind, that in fact, it turns him on the way it had turned you on. So you sink your teeth into his delicate skin and a low moan escapes his mouth, god, you are so aroused by the sounds he makes, knowing how good you are making him feel. And you move back down to his chest but the truth is you want to get to where he had stopped you a few minutes ago when he had woken up. Down, down you go, over his stomach, and you can feel him tensing up as you get to the waistband of his boxer briefs but you don’t hesitate, you know exactly what you want. 

‘W-wait!’ he tries to stop you but you shush him and pull down his underwear and quickly take his already hard cock into your mouth.

And he tastes wonderful. And for once in your life you actually relish the feeling of doing this for a man. Because he didn’t ask for it. Because he didn’t expect you to do it. Because he didn’t pressure you into doing it in any kind of way. Because you wanted to do it. Because truthfully, the first time you saw Dominick, all you could think about was sucking him off, and you would have, hadn’t he turned the tables on you first. So now you're doing it. Holy shit you are doing it.

He is drawing in a sharp breath, your name escaping his lips almost in a protest but you know he’s just overwhelmed by the sensation of your mouth on him. Dominick looks down at you as your hands wrap around his shaft and your lips close over his tip, trying to get a feel for him. 

‘Oh God.’ Dominick moans, and you can’t help but smile. Having that kind of control over him makes you so wet, not to mention that beautiful cock of his in your face like that. You can’t wait to reduce him to an ecstatic, writhing mess. Oh the power you hold right now makes you feel all sorts of ways. And you’re ready to do everything for him since he deserves it, always looking after you first. Always fucking you to your climax before he cums, and often times, it’s not just once. 

‘I’m gonna be a good girl for you, are you gonna be a good boy for me, baby?’ you ask, flicking your tongue against him and he nods, eyes pressing shut, hands clenching the sheets, oh fuck he’s so hot.   

You trace the thick veins on his dick down to his balls, cupping them with one hand and squeezing softly, making him jerk. You spit on him, spreading your saliva and his pre-cum all over him, beginning to pump him slowly. He looks down at you again as you lick him up and down, your tongue gliding over his skin in slow-motion. Top to bottom you let your mouth glide over his dick, swirling over his sensitive head, your lips curl around him as your eyes meet, and you can tell the sight of you with his dick in your mouth is turning his brain to absolute mush. 

‘Am I doing it right for you baby? Does it feel good?’ You ask and he whines as though you have completely broken him, the tension in his thighs already increasing.

‘You…y-you…have no idea. Holy shit, babe…it feels….fuck!’ He groans, reaching out to run a hand through your hair as you pump him a little faster.

‘You’re so delicious, mmhhmmm.’ You mumble and take him deep into your mouth, as deep as you can and his eyes roll back, he pulls on your hair lightly. It’s the biggest turn-on. 

Slowly and steadily you begin to fuck him with your mouth, every now and then taking him deeper before pulling back to get some air. You tease his delicate tip with your tongue, dipping it into his slit, drawing more pre-cum from him, salty and sweet at the same time and you lap it up thirstily. Again and again you suck him in, letting him hit the back of your throat over and over, hollowing out your cheeks as you look for his reaction in order to find the right amount of suction combined with pressure on his base. He’s so hard, throbbing inside your mouth, as you move your mouth up and down on him faster. The look of pure lust on his face, the noises he is making are telling you you’re doing perfectly, and it’s not long before he is panting your name repeatedly in utter desperation, and you know he’s close already. You love the mess you have turned him into but it’s not like this is leaving you unfazed. You are wild for this man. 

‘Y-you gotta stop.’ he begs breathlessly but you laugh.

‘And why would I do that?’ your mouth wanders down to his balls, sucking there delicately, your thumb keeping pressure on the base of his pulsing cock. You know he‘s ready to explode.

‘B….Because I…I’m gonna c…um.’ his voice is shaking and he tries to wriggle away from you. 

‘I want you to. Please. I want you to cum in my mouth. I want to taste you.’ and you wrap your lips around him again.

At that last sentence a loud moan escapes him and you can’t even believe it yourself, that you said it and had meant it so sincerely. In the past you would have thought of it as dirty. You would have been ashamed. Not now though, not with him. 

Again you take him deep, stroking him a little faster, dying to make him shoot his load into you, dying to taste him. His hand reaches for your free one, your fingers entwining and he squeezes, his muscles tensing as your tongue flicks over his raw tip, swirling one last time, and he finally orgasms, his hot seed filling your mouth while his dick twitches in your mouth and he moans your name. The most beautiful sound. You continue to lick him clean, swallowing every last drop he’s giving you, the salty juice running down your throat. He’s shaking, out of breath, and you giggle, very pleased with yourself. 

‘Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.’ His eyes flutter open and you wipe your mouth, blushing a little and he looks at you, shaking his head. ‘What did you just do? What did you just do? You almost made me pass out.’

‘Well you didn’t. Which means I gotta try harder next time.’ You laugh and he grabs you, pulling you down next to him, kissing you hard. You love that he seems to completely ignore the fact that your mouth was full of his cum only seconds ago. 

‘Please don’t. I might have a heart attack and die.’

‘No, I wouldn’t want that to happen.’ You snuggle up to him, feeling really damn pleased with yourself.

However, it’s hard to ignore the way your panties are absolutely soaked, the way you are trembling with lust for him from sucking him off like that. You try to pull yourself together, burying your face in his shoulder while he is still catching his breath. But he notices. Of course he notices. 

‘Oh you.’ He turns to face you and you continue to try to hide from him, it’s too much, it’s all too much. ‘Let me.’

And his hand slips down between your legs, inside your panties, and he smiles as he feels your wetness, and the contact has you moaning into the pillow.

‘You liked it that much, huh? How sweet. You dirty, dirty girl.’ he whispers, kissing your cheek.

‘I loved it. I loved it, fuck Dominick…’ you confess, falling apart under his touch. 

He begins rubbing your clit tenderly, his fingers dragging between your folds, lingering at your entrance before moving back to your bud, circling there. It drives you insane how he won’t accept you giving him pleasure without him returning it, how he can’t just lay there in his post-orgasmic bliss but instead has to make sure he gets you off too. Oh how comical that he isn’t even your boyfriend because this guy is husband material and you know it. 

It doesn’t take long and he’s hard again, and slips between your legs, spreading you open, sinking inside of you. You need him urgently but he fucks you into the mattress at a painfully slow pace that has you whimpering his name. His lips are at your neck, you hold on to him desperately. Looking back that’s probably the moment when you first acknowledge the battle is lost although it was much sooner. What do you know though? There’s no point in putting down markers. The earth will shake again and again. The aftershocks will rattle you. You will both pick up the pieces, note the numbers on the Richter scale, maybe take some precautions, or not, for the next time. But all in all you will continue like this, staying in your rubble.

And afterwards you sigh and ask ‘Why do we keep doing this?’

Dominick looks at you puzzled. ‘What do you mean?’

‘I’m just scared.’ you confess.

‘Scared of what?’ He moves closer, gently moves a strand of your hair behind your ear.

‘Of the day we stop.’

He remains silent for a while before he answers.

‘Then I guess we can never stop.’

But you know that’s not true. You know you will stop. You know eventually it will end. You know he knows it will end. And that the earth will break open and swallow you both.

You stretch lazily and get up, making your way to the bathroom where you pull your dressing gown around yourself loosely. There’s a faint hickey on your collarbone. That should annoy you, you’re not thirteen anymore. He shouldn’t put his mark on you like that. But instead you find yourself tracing your fingers over it, smiling. You love it. You kind of want to show it off. Want your friends to ask you about it. Curious whispers behind your back. You want him to know he can claim you as long as you can claim him. How ridiculous that it turns you on. 

‘Good morning.’ He's behind you and you jump a little.

‘Ugh! Don’t do that!’ You turn around and glare at him. 

‘Sorry.’ he pouts charmingly, knowing he can get away with anything and everything.

‘Thought you would have left by now.’ You turn back toward the mirror and attempt to fix the mess that is your hair, last night’s activities have taken their toll.

‘Would you have preferred me to?’ He steps behind you and moves the silk fabric of your gown ever so slightly in order to reveal the mark he has left, and you shudder at his touch and the way he inspects you, a mischievous smirk on his lips. 

‘Thought it was customary to do so after a booty call.’ you can’t help but press your ass against him and get an immediate response from his body. You’re only teasing, you’re secretly glad he’s still here. Although it makes you somewhat nervous. This isn’t something you should let become a habit.  

‘You and your thoughts.’ His fingers run over the hickey again and he kisses your neck before he withdraws. ‘I made breakfast and it’s getting cold. Come on.’

Breakfast is an understatement, you think, as you see the spread prepared on your tiny kitchen island. Pancakes, a fruit salad, bacon, sausages, scrambled eggs, porridge, buttered toast, croissants, jam, Nutella, coffee, orange juice, some green smoothie. Strawberries.

‘Ummm….’

‘Well, I went and got some things to go with the strawberries.’ He pulls out a chair and you stare at him like he’s an alien who’s just landed in the middle of your kitchen with his spaceship.

‘Who the fuck even are you?’ you mumble and shove a piece of croissant into your mouth, rolling your eyes at him. He scrunches up his nose and sits next to you, sipping his coffee. 

‘I like to cook.’ He peeks at you over the rim of the cup and you roll your eyes again. What have you gotten yourself into?  

‘Did the good lord send you here to domesticate me?’ you ask with the most serious tone of voice you can manage and he almost chokes on his drink laughing. 

You both crack up and just when you thought you calmed down you snort and end up cracking up again. His face is red like a tomato and tears are streaming down your face and you don’t remember the last time you laughed this hard that wasn’t with your girlfriends. It catches you off guard, this lightheartedness with a man. Then again, you should have known, when everything else was so easy with him that all kinds of intimacy would be. Still, it is not something you are used to so it surprises you how naturally it comes. Maybe you would second-guess yourself later on. Maybe you would feel silly, immature even. But this was supposed to be fun, right? 

_____________

‘It’s nice and it’s fun.’ you repeat it like a mantra a couple of hours later when you meet your best friend Louisa for a drink. 

Of course she knows about you and Dominick. She had seen you two as you returned from your little excursion to the boathouse, all red-faced and giggly, and figured out the rest. Knowing you for almost all your life she had been slightly shocked, claiming it wasn’t like you to have sex with a guy you hardly knew. Let alone let him, well, bang you out in the open and you couldn’t even argue with the way she had made it sound so perverted because it had been. 

‘Lou, I don’t know what came over me, okay? Okay? I’m not gonna feel bad though. I’m not gonna apologize. I’m 25 and I feel like now’s the time to go and have fun, especially after Daniel. You know what my parents are like. They thought I would marry that guy. And now I’m not, thank God. Anyway, I’m almost finished with law school, I’m single, it’s summer. Let me just have this! He’s so so soooo gorgeous. And sweet. He’s so sweet. And fun. And the sex. Dear lord, the sex. It’s like he’s inside me. I mean he IS. He IS inside me. But like, fully. Inside me. My brain. It’s so fucking intense. Anyway, before everything in my life gets serious, I gotta enjoy this. Just be a little crazy with this beautiful, sexy man.’ you talk excitedly and Louisa stares at you with an amused smile. 

‘Okay, okay. Yes I agree, He is gorgeous, it’s not like I’m blind. And I heard he’s a nice guy. I just want you to be careful, with him and with yourself. Even if you think this is just fun and games, it’s never just fun and games and someone always gets hurt in the end. So you gotta set some rules, some boundaries. You’re vulnerable after what happened with Daniel, I want you to not let anyone take advantage of that. I’m not saying Dominick would do that on purpose but y’know. Go have fun but make sure you’re on the same page first.’

‘I’m pretty sure we’re on the same page.’ you say it but you’re not actually.

‘You gotta make sure you are sure.’ she insists. 

‘Yes, yes, alright.’ 

Well there was a conversation to look forward to. 

________________

You spend the rest of your Saturday going through the list of potential future employers your boss has given you. He’s willing to recommend you for either, he said, and you know he has reputable connections not just in New York but internationally. It’s something to consider, especially straight out of law school. It’s not that he wouldn’t like to keep you on after you passed your Bar exam but you and him both know you are meant to go and explore the great big world outside the relatively small office. So you had politely declined.

Ever since you’ve wanted to become a lawyer, from the age of 13, human rights have been set in your sight. Memories of you and your parents watching the news, stories about political conflicts, poverty, human trafficking, war crimes, and numerous other atrocities flashing on the screen on the daily and that helpless feeling that shook you to your core. Turning to your mother you had asked ‘Why isn’t anyone doing anything’ and your mother answered ‘People are trying, honey.’

You’re not delusional or naive enough to think you can change the world. No one can. But you also refuse to give in to helplessness, it’s too easy to think there’s no point swimming against the current. Luckily your parents and teachers had always supported your dream, especially when you were ready to give up, and had managed to pull you back from that cliff of utter hopelessness on the many occasions when you had felt like there was no point.

Needless to say the United Nations are on the very top of your list. And luckily, after enrolling in a legal clinic there during your first year at Fordham where you met one of the top human rights lawyers who you’ve kept in touch with, you do have a contact there. Not only that, Emily had become somewhat of a mentor to you. She had worked for the UN for over 25 years and you are hoping to learn from her eventually and that Bachelor in political science and sociology sure helped a lot to impress her.

___________________ 

Dominick picks you up on Sunday afternoon outside your apartment for a walk around Highland Park. After your conversation with Louisa you kind of regret agreeing on meeting him now because it feels like a date and there isn’t supposed to be a date. You are supposed to set rules. Boundaries. And you feel like he isn’t thinking about setting them so you are the one who has to. And you feel awkward and nervous and like you’re about to ruin things by having ‘the talk’. Or maybe you’re interpreting too much into this silly little walk already, perhaps he isn’t thinking anything of it, not more than two people on a casual stroll on a sunny afternoon. So what’s a girl to do? You decide to follow your gut and test it out. See where the conversation takes you.

He hands you an iced chai latte and you head towards the park, the way he always guesses your favorites is endearing to you. Your ex couldn’t remember your Starbucks order even after three years. Oh god, you have to stop comparing him to your ex. Stop. But it’s hard when he’s the first guy you’re, well, whatever it is you’re doing with him, after your last relationship.

‘You’re not tired of seeing my face yet?’ Dominick smiles from behind his black Ray-Bans, chewing on the straw of his pink lemonade. 

He looks absolutely ravishing again today. White shirt, looking so good with his slight tan, damn his Italian blood. Tousled hair, tight jeans, Converse. If he had asked, you would have taken him straight home. It’s insane what kind of carnal instincts this man is provoking in you. Scary, almost. Your whole body shudders at his sight.  

‘Not yet but the day isn’t over.’ you reply, feeling cheeky as well.

‘What would it take? I like to annoy people.’ Oh he’s on his boyish bullshit today. You hate how it’s only the third time meeting him and you can already tell. 

‘You would want to annoy me? Believe me, I can be a real bitch.’ You are up for the challenge, you’re not even kidding. 

Dominick puts his arm around your neck and pulls you in close, kisses your forehead, and you breathe in his aftershave. As always, he smells divine. As always, mixed with the warmth of his body, it makes your head go fuzzy. There’s a simple science behind it, they say, body chemistry or whatever, but to you it seems like he has bewitched you. Why else would he feel so familiar after such a short amount of time? Or are you just that desperate for the affection of an attractive man? You feel like clinging to him like velcro. 

‘I would annoy you, just a little bit. And then you could be a bitch, just a little bit. And then we could go back and forth bickering like an old married couple.’

You find him irresistible. Too irresistible, almost. There’s a part of you that wishes you two could go on like this, flirting like crazy, pushing and shoving, until you are too hot and bothered to be in public any longer. When the time comes and Dominick has to grab you and you run off back to your place. Where you tear off each other’s clothes and fuck like bunny rabbits and you can forget about what he just said but you can’t and it’s time you take that deep breath and just get it over with.

‘Well, we are not an old married couple. We’re not even a couple. And I’d like it to stay that way, please, Dominick.’ You try not to sound too harsh but there it is. You went there and now you can’t take it back.

He unwraps his arm from your shoulder and stops dead in his tracks, putting his hands over his heart. 

‘Ouch. Okay. Damn.’

You curse yourself. Maybe you could have been a bit gentler. 

‘Sorry. I thought we were on the same page with this. Considering…I mean. Don’t get me wrong, I like you. I really do. A lot, Dominick. You’re…incredible. And maybe at another time it would be different, I’m just. Out of sorts from my last relationship. I don’t need any of those complications right now. I’m sorry. I just-…thought we should have this conversation sooner rather than later before this goes on and on and we end up in limbo somewhere and neither of us knows where the other one stands. So there won’t be any expectations I can’t meet.’ You mean it. Perhaps things really would be different if the timing was better. 

Truth be told, you can’t let yourself go there at the moment. 

‘No, it’s fine, I get it. Honestly I wasn’t thinking about taking it further. Doesn’t change the fact that I’m crazy about you.’ Dominick takes off his sunglasses and steps closer to you. ‘And that I wanna spend time with you. Preferably naked. But if I can annoy you on a walk in the park I like doing that too. But yeah, I’m not looking for a relationship either, y’know. My last one didn’t end that well. So we’re definitely on the same page, no worries.’ he cups your face with his hands and kisses you and you feel relieved, for a second there you really thought you hurt his feelings, that maybe he had wanted more from this. 

But among the relief there’s something else. Something that’s pulling your insides in what feels like every direction, in a strange way. You can’t explain it. Your mouth and throat suddenly feel so dry and you take a sip of your drink to fight it. 

‘So we’re good? Like this?’ You recover from whatever it is that came over you. Maybe you just aren’t used to this sort of thing.

‘Sure. We’re good. I mean I’ve never done this so, I guess we gotta figure it out as we go along.’ He blushes a little and thinks putting back his sunglasses will hide it, how adorable. 

It kind of takes you aback that he never had a casual thing with someone, most men do, as opposed to women. Then again, you thought you weren’t the type, yet here you are. 

‘Well, I’m not an expert either.’ You kick at a pebble. 

‘Is spending the night and making breakfast still okay?’ 

Oh dear. A simple question yet such a complicated matter. It was meant to be simple. You try your best. You think of the way he made you feel, sleeping next to you with his arms around you. Good in one way but entirely in pieces in another. 

‘If I say it’s not a requirement but you can if you want to? Does that suffice as an answer?’ You really don’t know how else to put it. 

‘If that’s how you feel, sure.’ Dominick seems neither happy nor sad about it. 

Many lies were told that day. You both had had your hearts broken in the past and you both didn’t want to have your hearts broken again. So you tiptoe around it while at the same time thinking you could embrace each other fully, so intensely, so entirely. And you thought ‘This must be what he wants’ and at 25 and 26 you both think you know exactly what you want. Well, you know nothing. Now there you sit, on the same page.  Or are you?

Dominick had assured you that he would call but truth be told, you didn’t know his character from a quickie behind a boathouse in South Hampton. Promises were made and broken in the heat of a moment like that. Careless words were spoken all the time when there were no obligations involved, no strings attached. And it would have been no big deal.

You didn’t know anything about him except that he was studying criminal law at Fordham, lived somewhere in Williamsburg, and had stumbled onto the Hamptons scene that weekend the same way you had - some friends had dragged him there. Other than the way he was so magnetic and you wanted him with every fiber of your being, you didn’t even know if it was a physical attraction or more than that. However, you would have been lying to yourself if you didn’t admit to the fact that you spent every day of those two weeks thinking about him. Cursing yourself for telling him to wait. Hoping he would call. Even if it would end up being just a good old-fashioned booty call. Yes, you would still see him around somewhere if he didn’t call but it would hurt your pride. For him to have made you feel the way he did that night and never be acknowledged again? Sure you would cope eventually but not after a few weeks of utter bitterness and self-loathing. Ugh, once again you cursed his name for the millionth time these past two weeks. What a fool you had been.

__________________

You are sitting at your desk at the law firm’s office where you work part-time, typing away at an email reply. Two clients enter the room and you look up, smiling politely at them. 

‘Mister Phillips is ready for you, gentlemen. Would you care for some coffee?’ you offer.

They return your smile but shake their heads, and close the office door behind them in a rush. You sigh in relief, turning back towards the computer screen only to be interrupted by your phone vibrating on silent. You stare at the unknown number slightly annoyed but pick up with an exasperated ‘Yes?’

‘Guess this is a bad time, huh?’ you hear him chuckle on the other end.

Fuck. 

Fuck.

FUCKFUCKFUCK!

You draw in a sharp breath and sit up straight as though you just got caught doing something naughty. It’s him. Dominick. 

What the-. Your work had actually distracted you, kept you so busy you had forgotten about what day it was. For once in those two weeks you had not thought about him in a hot second.

‘It’s you.’ You feel so silly but you actually cannot believe he is really calling.

‘Well…you told me to call in two weeks. It’s been two weeks. And I’m afraid I haven’t stopped thinking about you. So I was hoping to see you again. Please say yes.’ 

He sounds like a little boy asking for his favorite toy back after it’s been taken from him. It makes you weak immediately, flashbacks to him and you together, skin on skin. Oh lord.

‘Yes.’ is all you manage to mutter. Girl, control yourself. You swallow hard, you’re sure he can hear it.

‘I’m so glad. Are you free tonight?’ The urgency in his tone of voice makes you feel so powerful, maybe he can’t control himself either.

‘I’ll text you my address.’

When you hang up you are shaking. There it is again that feeling in the pit of your stomach, spreading down between your legs. Your mind is racing. You actually can’t believe it. He had been waiting to call you. He had been thinking about you. In fact, in his own words, he had not stopped thinking about you. Your whole body is suddenly trembling with anticipation and disbelief. Is this really happening? The way he had so nonchalantly admitted to more or less obsessing over you the way you had over him. The way he had practically begged to see you. Oh boy, would you make it worth his while.

You finish early on Fridays so you run out of the office, stopping by your local grocery store to pick up some essentials, including a bottle of wine, before coming home to your small Bushwick apartment. Good thing is, you still have hours before Dominick gets here, bad thing is, you still have hours before Dominick gets here. Your anxiety is already through the roof and you kind of want to smoke some weed but you’re scared it will make it worse. 

So instead you take advantage of the luxury of having a bathtub and spend an hour soaking among lavender-scented bubbles. Looking down at your naked body, imagining him touching you again, and you have to hold back from touching yourself at the thought of it. Like you have so many times during the past two weeks when these thoughts had taken over. It was the way he had known exactly how you liked it, even the things you yourself hadn’t known you liked yet. 

It had never been this good with anyone before, even your ex-boyfriend of three years. He had never been able to even want you to open up like this because it was clear from the beginning that he was more interested in his own needs and wants. But you had hoped that you could coax it out of him by giving into whatever he demanded because after all, it was love, right? Or at least you thought it was. And yes, he had made you cum, most of the time. And yes, he had gone down on you. Even though you always felt like it was more of a chore to him than something he had enjoyed while you had to pretend that sucking his dick was something you relished when he more or less forced you into it. Either way, he never made you feel sexy, he never made you feel like the most important person in the room, like all eyes should be on you; like a woman, like a man should make you feel. Instead he liked to keep small, keep you in your place, talked over you to make himself look smart and important. So eventually, it all faded away between you two. And that was putting it mildly. You don’t like to think about it too much, it takes you to a dark place you don’t want to go. 

You don’t miss being in a relationship. In fact, you’re not looking for one. Whatever this is, is going to be, or not, between you and Dominick, you aren’t ready for anything serious. 

8pm on the dot, your doorbell rings. The spritz of perfume you just sprayed behind your ear still lingers in the air as you rush down the hallway to press the button on the intercom. Soft footsteps on the stairs. Your heart is pounding. You check yourself in the mirror one last time. No fancy outfit, nothing revealing. Just a simple gray cotton off-the-shoulder dress, your hair in a messy bun, soft make-up. Why bother when he already had your pussy in his face, right? Why bother when he for some reason already thinks you are the sexiest little thing?

He’s holding a small wicker basket full of fresh strawberries, the sweet scent overwhelming as you open the door to greet him. 

‘What-‘ you raise your eyebrows at him.

‘I think flowers are overrated and well…I passed a farmer’s market earlier on my way home, so. I hope you’re not allergic or are one of those rare people who hate strawberries.’ he’s babbling. He’s nervous. How cute. 

‘I love strawberries.’ you reply, as you pick one from the basket and grab his arm, pulling him in. The fruit is absolutely bursting with flavor as you bite into it. ‘Delicious.’ you smile, making it clear you’re not just talking about the strawberry.

‘Well, I’m glad.’ he smiles back at you.

‘Thank you.’

He follows you into the living room/kitchen area, his eyes tracing your body and your adorable little banter quickly gives way to that familiar heat spreading between you two.

‘Just so you know, I think flowers are overrated too, unless they grow in a field.’ you turn around and properly take him in for the first time since opening the door. 

You can’t believe he’s really here. Standing in your apartment. And he seems to think the same thing. As much as you both were overconfident that night you met, fueled by a bit of alcohol and the excitement of the unknown, you don’t know where to start, or rather where to continue now. His hands seem restless, yours are dying to touch him.

‘Glass of wine?’ you ask because you can’t think of anything else and maybe a few sips will calm your nerves.

‘Sure, thanks.’ he answers as he shrugs off his jacket and you turn to get glasses from the cupboard. 

By the time you have opened and poured the wine, he has wandered over to your bookshelf, scanning the contents. You watch as his fingertips glide over the spines of books, and you can’t explain why it makes your heart beat so much faster all of a sudden. With the glasses in hand you join him, handing him his just as he pulls out Kierkegaard.

‘I don’t know if I’m amused or shocked.’ he looks at you, one eyebrow raised. 

‘And why’s that?’

‘What’s your field of law again?’

‘I never said.’ you challenge him.

He takes a sip of wine and his eyes stare into yours. Damn you, you think.

‘Well can I guess then?’ 

‘Go ahead.’

‘Human Rights.'

Fuck, he is good. Or you’re just too obvious. Your law books aren’t even on this shelf.

‘You figured that out from me reading Kierkegaard?’

‘Oh no. I just really appreciate philosophy.’ 

You purse your lips and he cocks his head and it’s a game you’re playing now it seems. If that first time you told him not to tease, teasing is now all you are both doing. His face is entirely too close to yours and you notice a slight sunburn across his nose, a few freckles dancing there, his lashes too unfairly long for a man as he looks down into your eyes. 

‘Philosophy me this then, Mister. You really couldn’t stop thinking about me?’ your voice is low and you can tell the effect it has on him.

‘Hmm. You left me with quite the thoughts.’ he says, in the same low voice.

‘Can’t imagine what you mean.’ you smirk up at him, putting your glass down on the bookshelf next to his.

He smiles and puts a finger under your chin, raising your head slightly. 

‘I mean….’ he takes a deep breath. ‘I thought about you day and night, wondering what you were doing, what you were eating, drinking, dreaming about. Whether you were feeling happy or sad, stressed or relaxed. What kind of music you were listening to, what kind of books you were reading, what kind of clothes you were wearing. If you were wearing the same perfume you wore the night we met. Whether you preferred the rain of the last few days or if you were hoping for sunshine and the heat. What you were thinking about while waiting in line at the coffee shop. If you were thinking about me? If you were counting down the days hoping I would call, or if you regretted that night? And if you were thinking about me, were you thinking about the way I touched you, the way I kissed you, the way I fucked you? Did you touch yourself thinking about me? Because I did. I got hard the second the thought of you entered my mind.’ 

His mouth is behind your ear now and you are a mess. You are holding back a moan, choked up in your throat. He has once again managed to reduce you to a complete wreck, a dampness spreading between your legs. 

‘Sounds intense.’ you exhale and he smiles as he picks you up, your hands wrapping around his neck, legs around his waist.

You finally find yourself kissing him deeply, his strong arms holding you so tightly you can feel his heartbeat hammering against you. 

‘Just so we’re clear…I never regretted it for one second.’ you say it with every inch of your soul before slipping your tongue into his hot mouth, a moan rumbling within him. 

‘Anything else you wanna clear up? Maybe like…you thinking about me too…and y’know. Touching yourself?’ he tickles your sides and you shriek, punching his arms playfully.

‘Wouldn’t you like to know.’ you tease, and he rolls his eyes.

Somehow you manage to make your way into your bedroom and he puts you down on your bed, his body on top of yours. Your kisses are becoming more intense by the second, your hands sneaking under his shirt, feeling his warm skin, so desperate for more contact. But you have other plans. Pushing him off of you, you crawl back on the bed, telling him ‘Stay there.’ as he attempts to follow. He looks confused but does as you say, an undeniable look of excitement on his face for whatever awaits him. 

You really can’t believe what you’re about to do. But you know it’s gonna make him lose his mind and that is what you set out to do. So you reach under your dress, slowly pulling off your panties before throwing them in his face. He gasps, taking the piece of clothing like it’s a treasure he just unearthed and brings it up to his face, inhaling your scent. You bite your lip, watching him, knowing it’s just step one on his way to absolute unraveling.

Sensuously, you let your hand glide over your body, still just over the fabric of your dress while the other one releases your hair from the bun, letting it fall loose over your shoulders. He doesn’t even blink watching you, just stares at you in utter fascination. There’s a bulge growing in his jeans, you can tell, and god, does it make you feel special. Here’s this breathtakingly gorgeous man and all he wants is you.

‘So, you wanna know if I thought about you, hmm?’ your hand slips under your dress. ‘About that night? About your tongue tasting me? About your fingers exploring me? About your beautiful, big cock inside my wet little pussy? About how you were the best fuck of my life? The only man to ever make my earth shake like that?’ your legs spread a little but still not enough for him to see you. Somehow he’s not trying to, his eyes are fixated on yours, his mouth slightly agape, and you can hear his breathing getting heavier. ‘You wanna know how many times I’ve touched myself thinking about you, wishing you were inside me again? I’ve lost count. I’ve moaned your name into my pillow so many times, Dominick. Dominick. Dominick.’ 

Now you let him see. And he inches closer to you as you rub your clit in small circles, so wet already. He moans your name back at you. Watching you as you insert two fingers into your soaked pussy and start pumping in and out slowly, whimpering with pleasure and you can tell he’s about to fully lose it, it turns you on so much, making you shiver with lust. 

‘And I pretended it’s you. But it could never feel as good. You really fucked me up, baby. You really did.’ you sound almost mad and he catches it, pulling you close as you withdraw from yourself.

‘I’m sorry.’ he apologizes and kisses you again and you claw at his shirt, nearly tearing it off within a second, followed by his jeans while he does the same with your dress. ‘I’m sorry.’ he says again, lips down your neck, across your collarbone. ‘I’m sorry.’

And it’s both of you who unravel. And you knew this was gonna happen. Because yes, he fucked you up but you fucked him up just as badly. 

‘I’m sorry too.’ you whisper, running your fingers through his soft hair as he continues to place kisses downwards, his mouth closing around your nipple, tongue sneaking out to tease. Your back arches and his large hands grab your waist, not even a piece of paper could fit between your bodies. It’s so intimate, and he’s not even inside you yet. He’s in no rush you can tell although he’s as hard as he can get, pressing against your thigh, a wet spot forming on your skin there. It doesn’t matter, he’s lost in you, you’re lost in him. 

When he finally slips inside you, you almost pass out at the sensation, wrapping your legs around his hips to get his full length as deep as possible. He groans into your neck, not moving for a second just letting himself melt with you.

‘Please.’ you whisper in his ear and your voice is shaking and he slowly starts moving, dragging out every thrust. 

‘Fuck.’ he breathes. ‘Longest two weeks of my life.’ and you stare into his eyes with a sheepish grin. 

It’s the hottest sight, Dominick on top of you, moving in and out of you, and you don’t know where to put your hands. His beautiful face, his warm chest, his toned arms, his strong shoulders, his tight ass, you really want all of him at once. And then this feeling he’s giving you where you are joined, his cock dragging along your tight walls, one hand reaching down because he knows how much you like it when his fingers play with your clit. 

‘S-so g-goooood. So fucking good.’ you moan, clenching around him and he furrows his brow in an almost serious way at the sensation of you squeezing him. 

‘You like it when I do that, hmm, babe?’ you ask, wiping a loose curl of hair from his face and he nods, kissing you sloppily. 

And you do it again, and again. As much as you enjoy this slow rhythm, you are dying for him to pick up the pace a little, and this does the trick. He grabs one of your legs and hitches it up higher, opening you wider to him, fucking into you deeper and slightly harder. You let out a loud moan as he hits that spot within you.

‘Is this what you wanted, my sweet?’ and you smirk and affirm. It’s not long before you begin to shudder, whining his name as he presses his sweaty forehead against yours. ‘You really are so beautiful when you cum. All I wanna do is make you cum.’ 

He flicks his thumb over your clit again, pumping his dick so deep inside you, you lose all control over yourself. His eyes are staring into yours and that feeling you get scares you a little but it is all too much now, you have no time to think.

‘Cum for me. I wanna feel you cum. I love how you get even tighter around me when you do. How you shake. No more moaning my name into your pillow all by yourself. I’m here. I’m right here. I’m all yours. Cum for me, baby.’ He thrusts into you again and you uncoil. 

‘Fuck! Dominick!’ you moan, clinging to him as you pulse and shudder with your orgasm. 

He holds you and kisses you and continues to move in and out of you slowly, disregarding the chase for his own pleasure to revel in yours, to extend it even. This man. You cry out in pleasure, he has once again managed to lure the most intense climax from you, and you already know it won’t be the only one tonight. He hasn’t cum yet, it’s like he is holding back and while it makes him the sexiest man on the planet it also makes you want to make him cum even more. So you press your hands against his chest and push him off you, his eyes widen in surprise as you straddle him.

‘Okay.’ he grins up at you as you slowly lower yourself on his cock, letting him sink into you. ‘Jeez.’ he gasps and you feel even fuller in this position. 

‘Any last words?’ you smile down on him and he pushes up into you without a warning, making you squeal. ‘Don’t you dare!’ you raise a finger. 

‘You know where you can put that.’ he pokes his tongue out at you and you glare at him in shock before putting your hand over his mouth. 

‘If you don’t shut up I’ll make you wait another two weeks.’ he immediately stays silent, a serious expression on his face as you smile triumphantly and start moving on his throbbing cock. 

‘You don’t mean that.’ he blinks his eyes shut, pleasure taking over as you feel his thighs tense under you. 

‘Please, I wouldn’t survive.’ you reply and his eyes flutter open again, a soft smile on his lips. 

He grabs your hips, gently guiding your movements as you run your hands up and down his torso. ‘You’re gorgeous.’ you whisper and can’t believe he blushes. ‘What? Has no one ever told you that before?’ You drag him in and out of you slowly. 

‘Not like that.’ he pauses. ‘I was always the lanky, skinny kid and girls tended to go for the quarterbacks.’ He looks perfect to you. 

‘Well, I bet they never got dick like this from their quarterbacks.’ you shrug and he giggles until you make him moan again, rolling your hips back and forth a little faster. 

From the way his hands are moving over your body you can tell he’s getting close. They’re restlessly looking for a place to settle, or a place they haven’t touched yet; up your sides, over your breasts, cupping them gently, squeezing, down your stomach to your pussy, over your thighs. You’re close to your next climax too and you know just the thing to send you both over the edge. While you move up and down his cock, you guide your hand down your pussy and start rubbing your clit, Dominick watching you with heavy eyes. 

‘You like what you see, baby?’ 

He can only nod, and the sight of him watching you with his head pressed into the pillow, biting his lip, is so fucking hot. Poor boy is so close but you don’t want to pick up the pace. You’re dragging his cock in and out, painfully slow, circling your clit with your index and middle finger. 

‘Dominick, you feel so good.’ you moan, arching your back, he has the best view of you riding him. 

‘God, you are gonna make me lose it.’ his breath quickens. 

‘Lose it, baby.’ you squeeze his cock with your walls, the beginnings of your orgasm crashing over your body like waves. 

You sit up again and withdraw your fingers from yourself, only to offer them to him and he opens his mouth to taste them, taste you, hungrily. He jerks his hips up, slamming into you, and cums hard, releasing himself inside you with a shudder and the sexiest moan. Your pussy clenches around him as you literally ride out both of your orgasms, the two of you still shaking as he pulls you down onto him. And it’s some kind of insanity just how badly you want to take everything of him in at this moment, even though there’s not much more left to take in. Somehow you still want more of him. More. His lips are on your neck and yours are in his hair and you take in his scent, his heavenly scent that is now on your pillow, in your bed. Your bed. 

You’re breathless and giggling and it’s warm and comfortable although you’re exhausted. 

‘You don’t mind if I spend the night, do you?’ he asks, stroking your back.

Your brain is yelling at you to be careful. That you don’t really want this. That it’s just the endorphins or whatever. It’s nice to be wanted, it’s nice to be taken care of by a man like him, a man who knows how to touch a woman. To make a woman feel special. But you don’t want the complications of something more. Something serious. So you tell yourself, it doesn’t have to be like that. It can still be nice without it being serious. You will be careful. While still enjoying it.

‘Not at all.’ you say, snuggling up to his warm body.

Now you are following his every move, from the way those long, slender fingers are wrapped around his whiskey on ice, his Adam’s apple moving up and down as he swallows, your thoughts racing already thinking about nibbling at his neck. You blush and force yourself to look away as you feel yourself growing wet, that spot deep within you coiling in on itself. No man has ever had this effect on you, and you don’t even know him. You share some mutual friends from law school who had introduced you at this party you both happen to attend. It’s Memorial Day weekend and you’re in the Hamptons with that same group of friends. 

You hate the Hamptons and the pretentiousness of it all but suddenly you don’t care, you just want to be near him. And you pray to all the gods he will end up at your friend’s house afterwards. and for once the gods listen because you end up sitting next to him in the car ride back. The way he smiles at you as he climbs in the backseat, a whispered ‘hey’ and you ask yourself why he is whispering but you forget all about it because his lips are only inches from your neck and you take in his scent, woody and earthy, with a touch of mint from the gum he’s subtly chewing. You curse yourself for letting a man affect you this much and you wish you could deny him the attention that he is so obviously attempting to elicit from you because you pride yourself in being better than this, in not letting a man reduce you to a lecherous little mess. 

But you can’t help it. He’s oh so charming without trying too hard like other men often do. There was an instant attraction between you two. So you turn your head slightly towards him and you whisper back a coy ‘hey’, and he laughs, such a sexy sound. And of course you immediately wonder what other sexy sounds you might get out of him tonight. Your legs touch, and you are dying for him to put his hand on your thigh. You can tell he wants to, by the way he swallows hard as he stares out the window, his hand covering his mouth trying to hide a smirk as he notices you watching him. 

You get to your friend’s house, there’s about twenty of you, the music is turned on, bottles of alcohol are being opened and dispensed, and everyone is getting comfortable. 

Dominick’s hand had brushed the small of your back as you walked down the path from the car to the house but you hadn’t seen him since.

The party bores you. A bunch of rich people talking about whatever, like they are the experts on everything just because they have money. Or rather, their families do. You don’t know how you ended up here. You refill your glass of red wine and step off the porch barefoot into the damp grass and start walking towards the water. The music and chatter grow quieter as you make out a silhouette sitting on the little dock. Of course, it’s him. You were hoping you’d find him somewhere out here. 

Dominick gets up as he hears you approach, as though he’d been waiting for you and he grabs your hand without saying a word. Your heart is pounding in your throat but you manage a smile; the thrill and excitement of finally being alone with him, and the wine, but mostly the thrill and excitement of finally being alone with him. Your pulse is racing. He more or less drags you to the small nearby boathouse, out of sight of the other partygoers, and presses his forehead against yours. 

‘What do you want?’ Dominick asks, his breath hot and heavy on your mouth. 

You don’t hesitate. ‘All of you. Everywhere.’ 

He smiles and takes the glass of wine from your hand, putting it down on the floor. But instead of standing again he stays down there and you feel his hands on your ankles and his lips on the inside of your calf. You know what he’s up to and your brain can’t keep up because he’s already wandered to your knee and switched sides. Holy shit, there he is kissing the inside of your thighs. You quietly beg that he won’t tease you because you need him badly and urgently, and apparently it wasn’t so quiet because he chuckles. 

‘Don’t worry, my sweet, I won’t, I need you just as bad.’ 

He still takes his time, as he pulls off your panties and his head disappears underneath your dress. It’s torture. Pure torture. He gently slips two fingers through your folds. ‘My god, you are so wet.’ he groans and you can hear him lick his fingers. Jesus Christ. 

‘I…I’ve been wet all night just looking at you…’ you admit, and he peeks out from under your dress, cheeks flushed, the most magnificent sight. You feel his fingers return to your wetness and moan out his name. ‘Dominick!’ 

He smiles. ‘More?’ You nod. He pulls off your dress and your bare skin hits the rough wood of the boathouse but you don’t care. 

‘You’re so beautiful.’ he whispers and picks you up so your legs are on his shoulders and begins to eat your pussy like it’s his last mission on earth. 

Your eyes roll back and you can’t do or say anything except moan his name in defeat. His mouth is on your clit and lips, sucking, tongue circling, while his fingers are pumping in and out of you, drenched in your juices, skillfully massaging the most delicate spot inside you. He has you in a firm, strong grip, whispering how absolutely delicious you taste. You can’t help but grab his head, running your fingers through his already disheveled brown curls, pulling ever so slightly in pleasure. He buries his face even deeper in your pussy, hungrily devouring you and you wish you could capture just how fucking hot this moment is and how special he makes you feel with that expert mouth and fingers of his. You can already feel yourself tensing up, you know he’s gonna make you cum so fast like no man ever has. He can feel it too, as your insides begin to twitch. He can feel you pulling tighter on his hair but he doesn’t care, he loves every second of it. All he could think about since the moment he laid eyes on you earlier that night was making you feel this way. Making you tremble, as you scream his name. He wants you to cum, cum on his face and he can’t wait to fuck you once he’s done. He smiles against your pussy and you bite your lip. You look desperate for his cock. 

‘Please Dominick….’ you whimper and the way you say his name makes him harder than ever. 

Good God this woman is gonna be the death of me and it’s gonna be the sweetest death, Dominick thinks to himself. He adds another finger to your clenching walls, fucking you faster, curling over that g spot, sucking your swollen clit hard. You cry out, for a second he’s not sure whether he hurt you or it’s your orgasm, but as your thighs begin to quiver and a stream of ‘oh my god’s’ and ‘yes’s’ begin to leave your mouth he knows, and helps you ride out that sweet, sweet orgasm. You die a little death, you have never experienced anything as intense as this, it seems to go on for minutes and just when you think it’s over, his fingers plunge into you again and you shudder once more. 

‘Nooo Dominick!’ you beg but you mean yes, of course. 

After a few minutes or so, you don’t even know, he’s just smiling and kisses you, tongue slipping into your mouth, and you taste what he’s been tasting. And you must have him inside you now. Now! You eagerly start fumbling with his belt buckle, hands shaking, whining while he pulls off his shirt. God lord he looks good. Lean, strong, begging to be touched and kissed fucking everywhere. He helps you pull down his jeans and his cock springs free, hard as a rock, tip moist with pre-cum. Even though you are spent from your orgasm you want nothing more than for him to fuck you senseless. He gasps as you turn around and raise your hips slightly as an invitation, not that he needs one. He grabs you, slides over your entrance, wetting his cock with both your juices, and pulls you towards him before slamming into you. You both moan, finally feeling each other like this. Dominick is immediately obsessed with the way your pussy feels so tight around him and you love the way he stretches you to your very limit, your insides still so raw from your previous orgasms. 

‘You okay?’ he whispers in your ear, his lips brushing your sensitive skin. You nod, reaching back to stroke the back of his neck as he starts pumping in and out of you slowly. 

‘You feel…so fucking good inside me…ugh Dominick!’ you moan and he slips an arm around your waist, hand wandering down until his fingers find your clit again. 

‘I’m not gonna last long baby, you got me so riled up just eating you out, you drive me absolutely mad.’ he sighs, picking up the pace as you arch your back more showing him you can take it like a good girl. 

‘Mmhhmm you’ve already spoiled me so much…please just fuck me.” you whine. “However, the fuck you want. I just want you to cum. You deserve to cum so hard for how amazing you make me feel, Dominick.’ you spur him on. 

He moans into your ear and it sounds so animal, so sexy, so manly, so feral. He pinches your clit as he pounds into you harder and faster, and without a warning, you cum again. He doesn’t stop, he ignores your cries, he just fucks you harder, ramming into you over and over relentlessly hitting your gspot and you almost go blind from pleasure. the walls of your pussy clenching around his hard cock as you shake and whimper his name. The sound of your bodies slapping against each other, your combined moans, his dick pumping your soaked pussy, faster and harder with each thrust. 

‘I’m so close.’ he moans, placing kisses on your shoulder before biting down softly. 

‘Cum for me, Dom. I want you to cum inside me, fill me up. Please, please baby. Fuck me harder. I can take it.’ 

He cries out, you know he was holding back. You feel him pick up the pace again, burying his cock so deep. His fingers rub your clit just the way you like it, the way you do it when you touch yourself. You feel absolutely raw, exposed and spread open but have never felt more worshiped, taken care of and sexier. You’re not sure which part of you is more on fire. You don’t know if it’s tears or sweat running down your cheeks but you’re sobbing with pleasure. His thrusts become sloppier, even harder, and faster, you know he’s cumming. 

‘Fuck!!’ he moans. ‘Fuuuuck’ he shoves his pretty cock into you a few more times before he trembles and you feel his hot seed filling you. Your last orgasm shakes you so hard, even more intensely than the ones before, knowing it’s with him. Your whole body convulses as he holds you tightly, for who knows how many times that night. Time stood still. A lot of ‘Fuck’ and ‘Oh my god’ and some ‘Holy shit’ in between. You never thought some guy’s cum running down your legs would somehow be sexy, but here you are. You curse him because you know it is the first but it certainly won’t be the last time. Dominick pulls out of you slowly and turns you around to kiss you fervently, you wrap your arms around his neck like a drowning person, you wonder what this is gonna lead to.

‘What now?’ he asks and you bite your lip. 

‘No idea. But this was too good for a one time thing.’ you reply with a smirk hoping he will agree.

‘Well fuck, no kidding.’ he blushes before kissing you again. 

You start to shiver, suddenly aware of the fact that summer’s not here just yet and you’re completely naked in the breeze by the water. He quickly picks up his cardigan and wraps it around you before looking around for the rest of your discarded clothes. Reality sinks in and you kind of hate it. You don’t want to let him go.