Ella

Hello <3

The work below isn't dedicated to any one person, they're just diary entries, midnight rambles, and the chaotic poetry of a hopeless romantic.

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Status: Active Idle Hiatus

Age: Early 20s Mid 20s Late 20s

Post Frequency : Years Months Weeks Days

Dms / Questions : No way Sure, but please be kind

" Find what you love and let it kill you. Let it drain you of your all. Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down to eventual nothingness. Let it kill you and devour your remains.

For all things will kill you, both slowly and fastly, but it's much better to be killed by a lover."

Stitch me up. I'm coming undone.

Place the knife in my chest

and lace it between my skin.

it's okay if it hurts.

I'd rather scream from the splitting of my flesh

than the rattling of my thoughts

tumbling inside of my head

maybe I'm going insane,

maybe I've finally lost the last screw

holding my mind in place,

but as the blood

drip drips

onto your hands

it feels like the loveliest serenade

Is this a horror story?

Or a romance, in a world gone half-deranged?

what ever this is,

Im glad it's you in the end

In a life of never ending chaos

where everything changes

and nothing quite stays the same

you have always been the only thing

that's ever made sense.

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they say if you count each one they'll grant you any wish you'll ever seek

What would I wish for? What a silly question.

sitting here, with the entire world twinkling in your eyes and skin that glows brighter than a thousand setting suns

I don't need to look up to make a wish I just need to pull you in closer and whisper into your lips " Stay. "

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than I wonder where my thoughts of you will lead

because you, my dear,

are the scariest thing I've ever seen

with a wave of your wrist

heaven and hell collapses at your whims

I should run away

I should never look back

but as your eyes linger closer

I feel like a sailor enchanted by its depths

theres a whole ocean in its glow

and my heart can't resist the swell

if these violent ends are what the fates have in store

than I'll take my siren's kiss

and disapear

gladly

into the sea

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-loveafallenstar

you didn't love me,

you loved the attention I gave you

if you had you would have stopped me

the moment I decided to spin my world

around you

while you stayed

perfectly fixed

in place.

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Wont you drown with me ?

Let our last breaths mingle into the dark.

Lets hold each other tightly

and devour each other

until the very last spark.

Because I am chaos, I am rage.

I am a war charging blindly into the dusk.

So if there is a peace out there somewhere,

tell me.

Otherwise let us drown together.

Let our corpses intertwine,

and when they find us years later,

let our bones remind them,

it was all such a beautiful fight.

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and even if I dont want to

the pages continue to flip.

All the charecters are ready

their lines fresh on their lips,

their smiles are oh so encouraging,

and their words even more imposing

waiting for me to begin.

I know the role I have to play

even if I don't want to move

I know the strings will turn

and twist me all the same

maybe they know best

maybe its fate Im fighting against

and yet still deep down

some small part of me wishes

for the chaos

of setting all their plans ablaze

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I think I was a lost cause from the very begining

Within the first three sentences

I could feel a thread tie up around me

tugging and twisting with your every smile

knotting up with every goodbye

The more I thought about it

the less it made sense,

and there wasn't a moment I didn't think of you

or that thread

I think Im a fool

because the more I try to run away or deny it

the more I aimlessly find my way back to you

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even if death dared to tear me away

I would find you

across thousands oceans

across millions of lifetimes

I would search the world over

to stand infront of you again

and it wouldnt matter

what you were when I found you

who you were

or where you've been

you would be in sitting in a park bench somewhere

a coffee in your hand,

and the soft taste of home on your lips,

and I would know right away

that you were the reason

I was made with a heart beating in my chest

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" I don't care if you make a mess, I'll clean it up.

If your blinded by pain, I'll just hold you in my arms tigher. If you lose your faith, I'll have hope for you. Even if I become calateral damage in your chaos, I'll never leave your side.

Because there's a gem hidden in theses shadows, and I know that its worth every drop of blood spilled to show you it's there too"

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" You just have to say the word, and I'll give it all up. My friends, my dreams, my family, my future. Say the word, and we could live in a cardboard box under a bridge, begging for change and I would still count myself the luckiest person alive. "

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when that numb feeling grows inside you

and you feel alone even in a crowd

I would like to be something like music to you

like a presence that feels like a soft sound

playing lightly above all the murmering thoughts

and blurred out faces

something warm that wraps around you

like an embrace you didnt ask for

but was always there when you turned around

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