A New Chapter...

I have mostly good days now. Ones where, even though I think of you every day, it's not as painful. I can look at photos of us, and smile for the memories I have with you. Then there are the days where I feel flat, and I don't really understand why. Sometimes it'll go away, and other times something will set me off and I realise I feel flat because I miss you. And then I think subconsciously starT singing our song (like I do every day), and this time it'll tear me down. It's been a couple days over 8 months, and it's really not gotten any better. I still can't believe that I'm unable to call you any more and just talk about shit, or the latest book we've both read. I see your name on snap chat when I'm sending something out, and I want to send something to you, and get something in return. But I don't, because I know I won't, and that makes it even harder. I see everyone rallying together, and I feel incredibly left out. Like they've a forgotten that I loved you too. We were meant to see wicked again together. You were supposed to hang out long enough to see wicked again. People keep asking me why I keep seeing it. They tell me that I'll see it too much and be sick of it. But I know I won't, because in my heart you're there with me too. I miss you so much. Fuck cancer.