nous courons, c’est pourtant simple

do i regret him? i regret him.  i regret his neck. the way the evening set upon it, i regret his charm, his ‘you can talk to me about anything.'  his eagerness, his books, his shoes, his knees, his bow legs, his arrow tongue. his 'i can’t talk about this now.’ his 'meh’. his changing. his sacrilege, his 'it doesn’t matter’s’. his strength. his arms. his weakness. his heart. his history books. his refusal to listen. his friendship. his wanting more. his love. his heartache. his accepting. his leaving. his coming back. my olive branch. his changing. his changing. his slackness. his 'no’.  his 'i miss you’. his drunk. his drunk. his sober. his absence. his repetition. his rinsing and repeating. his 'we’re friends.’ his flirting. his absence. his trying. his failing. his time wasting. his seeking advice. his ignoring advice. his forgetfulness. his slackness and slackness. my trying to understand. my ignoring. my loving. my hating. my forgetting him. my friend. my friend. my ignorance. his ignorance. we’ll never talk about this. we’ll never talk about this. our scared. our pathetic. our coward behaviour.  (two cowards should never be in the same room) my soulmate. my soulmate. his growing brain and his shrinking heart. i regret. i repent.  what was the point. what was the point. i regret. i regret. if it ends like this. i regret.

“my love was a storm And you were a rickety house on a shaky foundation but you loved the rain you loved the way I kissed you, the way my hands felt against your skin, the feeling of my lashes brushing up against your nose and my shaky breath mingling with your own and you loved the thunder the threat of being struck by lightning, hearing my voice as I told you I am proud of you and you are smart and you are worth it and your brown eyes are the loveliest thing I’ve ever seen and the sound of my laugh, my singing as I sank my elbows in a sudsy sink, yet you hated the wind hated the way I would cry at the silliest things, the way I would forgive people so easily, the way I loved you so recklessly and loyally, the way I gave you all of me because you could never give me all of you and the wind beat against your shuttered windows until it opened them up, it flung your doors wide and it swept you off your feet and then there was fear and clouds came grey skies and my love became too strong and because you could never fully let me in and you could never believe in yourself the way I did and you left because you are a rickety house on a shaky foundation and my love was a storm that almost left you with nothing else.”

GET IT TOGETHER HARRY

i dream of travelling to cities that are thousands of miles away from me because i am suffocating and distance helps you learn to breathe.

his lips were dry, split, and cracked, and i don’t think i ever wanted to kiss someone so badly.