The Den

Sooo I guess Taylor was bringing back old merch and already most of it is sold out. T-T

I was born on May 22nd, which it will be my golden birthday, and well, I guess I’m the only one excited for it. This is going to be a sad birthday due to how the situation is, how my family has been acting, and everything just feels like it’s falling apart into a million pieces. When I first listened to Taylor Swift’s RED album. My favorite songs would be: Red, 22, and Stay stay stay.

Overtime, it became the album I’d listen to every time my birthday would come up. It always made me feel better and soon the songs I grew attached to the most were:

The Lucky One, The moment I knew and Begin Again.

I’ll explain.

“The Lucky One” describes part of my life from transitioning to high school to adulthood, my parents stopped appreciating me in some ways, starting looking towards raising my siblings in a better manner, they didn’t want ‘damaged goods’ like how I turned out. They’d push me away as I longed to do more with my life. However it came with a price, they’d start to push me down, and I would try my best to hide because I just can’t take being hurt life I have in the past. As I grew older, I realized my parents just didn’t care anymore, yet cared enough to want to control how I felt. So now I just keep myself locked away in my room most of the time when I’m able to to prevent myself from getting hurt by their emotional abuse. Yet, somehow that makes me ‘lucky’ to them? that I just shielded myself from getting hurt more. I just can’t put up with it.

“The moment I knew” is a song that connects to a very heartbreaking memory from six years ago. Six years ago I turned sixteen, held my first big party with good people and friends. I felt like I was someone, but I kept waiting for that one person to be there. The one person I used to look up to as a kid, my older half brother. I wanted to have him meet my friends and tell everyone about stories of us as kids. He showed up, instead of a happy moment, he called me outside and yelled at me for ‘not’ thanking my mother for buying the food for the party. Even though I had. He called me a b***h and proceeded to leave me in front of my guests crying. That’s when I realized that my half brother wasn’t my brother anymore. Everything I knew about him just disappeared and was replaced with a shell of what was that older brother I used to know.

“Begin again” is when I had my first birthday without my high school friends, I was alone at home. I wanted to skip my nineteenth birthday because I could still feel the sting from what my brother had done to make my birthdays just feel....horrible. Like I shouldn’t exist because I wasn’t wanted by anyone. I didn’t have anyone, my family was too busy and didn’t care that much. But then a year later, I found new friends and these people brought out the best in me. They took the time and energy to look past my shields and fear of people just leaving me or hurting me because of what had happened over the years.

I know this is a long shot, but I want to thank @taylorswift for being there for me during all those birthday moments, granted we’ve never ever met, Taylor your music has really made a big impact on me and saved me countless times. I just wish you knew how much of a rolemodel you’ve been to me. You inspired this autistic girl to find her place in this world.

I’m glad I’m able to turn 22, I’m happy I have the chance to live, and that I never gave up.

Thank you Taylor.

Sincerely,

I know this is BIGGGG assumption but I feel like the Lover tour could be cancelled due to Taylor not wanting to have her fans exposed to large crowds and getting everyone sick.

I’ve also heard the Coronavirus will come in waves or stay much longer and recovery time is necessary.

I’m soo happy for @taylorswift for becoming artist of the decade! And for having the most AMAs!!

Maybe @taylorswift is hoping that we’re actually interested in lover’s fest that she’ll do a full tour in North America afterwards? I’m not sure yet. I’m waiting for more news about this.

Alright, so I’ve been doing research and noticed something. Taylor has done a lot of US shows, and as much as it pains me to say maybe she’s doing more overseas shows to kind of give the US fans a break. Considering she could be afraid of overexposure and overdoing things to not want to feel like we’re going in a circle and to give each tour it’s own uniqueness.

But then again, she could be mixing things up for the future. Just finding ways to make her shows more better and personal for the US tours. I just hope I can see her. T-T she’s literally the only artist I see everytime she has a tour.

WHAT IF. Taylor was planning on performing in more arenas? Or even smaller than that. But wanting to do more shows in general. I’ve checked out the number of shows she’s done from her fearless tour to her reputation tour. The number decreases of shows she has over the tours. She was at 118 during fearless then to 53 for reputation.

MAYBE she’s planning on doing more tour dates in smaller places to give her a chance to meet more fans.And to make it easier for her management/Andrea to find fans. Stadiums would be very difficult due to how much time it takes to find certain fans.

Perhaps Taylor wants to be more interactive as well like she was during her fearless tour. Remember when she played ‘Hey Stephen’ and she walked through the crowds? Maybe she wants to do that again or maybe invite fans on stage for a song.