the fish in the percolator

sure i had to wake up at 3 am here in norway to watch the u.s. men's national team, but i 4-1 have no regrets.

God has punished me for the pun I made after the U.S. beat Paraguay.

i think the scientology speedrunners should start visiting the hospital mitch mcconnell is supposed to be in. i think it would be enriching for them

Your heart is not true enough to enter the gates of Margaritaville

victim on victim violence

Your heart is not true enough to enter the gates of Margaritaville

do you wanna put our cigs out on eachothers scraped skin?..in a normal way..

please dont vape your blueberry ice flavor around my kid. we are raising him on marlboro reds exclusively.

Pup who sits by my side while I work just so I can stick my fingers in his mouth and let him suck on them until he nurses himself to sleep with his pretty head against my leg.

Making a desperate, slutty boy say "I'm your dog" over and over again while hopelessly humping a pillow and whimpering. You agree, reblog.

i went 2 the doctor and they diagnosed me with gotta get railed disorder. no i lied it was autism

"good boy" "that's my pretty boy" "you did so well for me" "awwww im so proud of you puppy" "cmere puppy" "hi sweet boy" "good mutt" "that's it, be my good boy" mmmmfmfmfghhhggmmm..,,,,

Hey baby uwanna stick ur fingers in my cage

i let my cat sniff dr pepper and she identified all 23 mysterious flavors with ease