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Zayne usually always had some on him, the perks of working in a hospital with an endless supply of free condoms. But you figured the responsible girlfriend thing to do was to keep a box at your place, just in case. But maybe you hadn't thought that plan out entirely.
You almost feel a sense of kinship with men who've been sent to buy menstrual products, staring at an aisle of items you really don't know much about. So, you call the person you always call when you have a question.
"Hello?" Zayne's voice comes through after the first ring, because of course.
"What size is your dick?" You ask, thankful there's no one around to hear you.
"I'm sorry?" He sounds incredulous, though you know he heard you.
"Well, when you're hard. For the condoms. I'm kind of flying blind here. There's not exactly a size chart on these things." You inspect the back of a box just to be certain before putting it back. Cherry flavoured? Yuck.
"Oh. Well you'll have to grab a large. But it's not entirely necessary, I can pick up more at the hospital."
"If Yvonne sees you grabbing anymore condoms, she's gonna think we're sex addicts or something" It takes a minutes for the words to process, as you're busy scanning the boxes, trying to avoid things like "ribbed" and "glow in the dark."
"Wait...you're a large?" You hear him scoff almost incredulously.
"I'll try not to be offended by your surprise." He says, his tone flat as you laugh.
"Well, I'm just saying. Lucky me huh?" He sighs loudly, and you're sure he's pinching the bridge of his nose. Finally, you find a pack that looks good enough.
"Okay, these look good enough! Hopefully they fit you. If not, we'll probably have to do it raw." You say, relishing the choked noise you hear from the other side of the phone.
"You know what, I believe I'm mistaken. Get the small size."
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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im working on fixing my twt acc (im not calling that x bc who does ๐) so if you guys wanna follow and interact with my bs, feel free to follow @lostcerise on twt ๐
i will most be (s)creaming abt fictional men/hobbies there because im trying to keep this blog focused on content i produce
now heโs thinking โbout me every night oh isnโt that sweet? i guess so. say you canโt sleep, baby, i know thatโs that me espresso.ย
sheโs his morning coffee and addictionโan obsession he canโt live without.
cw: none. no spoilers.
โartem! jeremy asked me out for dinner and i need you toโโย
donโt you think itโs strange? a spoon ground against the edge of a cup, the gritting noise repetitive but slow. nothing out of the ordinary in an office pantry of themis law firm. nothing strange if it werenโt for the empty cup that artem had been absentmindedly stirring for the past nine minutes.
โhey! are you listening? what are you spacing out for?โ came celestineโs chirpy tone that he almost jumped out of surprise. โyou look so out of it. have you even had your morning coffee?โ
no, sheโs not around.
ย
luckily artem caught himself before he almost admits that out loud. even while in the office pantry, his eyes wander occasionally to the work area of the junior partners, hoping and praying that heโd catch a glimpse of her.
one look was all he needed. just one look. a single glimpse.
but unfortunately his caffeine fix was nowhere to be found.
โwell, you should. itโs not like you to keep spacing out like this.โ
โi havenโt,โ artem replies before celestine starts having any funny ideas that conspire about his non-existent romantic life.ย
artem pours his coffee, knowing better than to deign that comment with a reply. when youโre in the field long enough, lawyers know what word could lead to another. right now, heโs not in the mood to continue this conversationโespecially without his caffeine fix. celestine knows that, so she decided to be on her merry way before artemโs bitter expression turns acrid like his overbrewed coffee.
he almost sighs in relief when he hears her footsteps receding. almost. before she even takes a couple steps ahead, she pauses for a moment to add an afterthought to their morning chat.
โyou have a coffee machine in your office.โ
well shit.ย
looks like nothing can escape the shrewd eyes of a woman in a relationship flourishing with romance. her short chuckle rings in his ear like a passing fly, fixing a bitter frown on his face. looks like he already had his fair share of a bitter tonic to rile him up.
at least his trip to the pantry wasnโt all for naught. taking the already cooled cup of stale coffee with him, he felt a little bit more rejuvenated on the way back. maybe he should consider making his morning coffee in the pantry a regular part of his routine.
luckily, his frown curled upside down just a teeny tiny bit when you appeared in the corner of his eye, sitting on your desk and primed to tackle the mountain of new cases on your desk.
end.
reading notes:
inspired by artem's blossom chapters and stellis interactions (he's such a whipped man) but before the events of the last chapter of episode 1.
wondered what it would be like if he did this regularly.
yes, this is also inspired by sabrina carpenter's espresso. but in this case, artem is the one who can't stop thinking about you that he's developed an addiction on par with his caffeine intake.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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come and put your lipstick on my neck and my body, my baby
just to show these bitches that you're mine.
prompt: lipstick stains; marius + his deep pockets
cw: none.
heโs hardly shown much interest in lipsticks. the only times heโs ever engaged with such things was purchasing them as presents or viewing the year-end sales in pax groupโs department stores. even then, heโs hardly ever been particular with the shade.
why bother picking out lipstick for a woman when he can just buy the whole collection? good question. because now heโs spent the past four hours, immersed in the many rows of lipsticks presented to him by pax groupโs beauty boutiques just to hunt down one shade heโs been obsessed with.
โthis isnโt it,โ he puts down another shade of lipstick after swatching it against his skin. not even the big data lab can help him simplify his search. heโs been highly particular about the shade no. it has to be perfect.ย
โum, sir? what shade are you looking for, exactly?โ
โa soft, light mauve, like the color of raspberries. a little pink, but not too saturated or opaque.โ
โhow about this one?โ
โโno. it has to be the color of her lips.โ
the sales clerkโs jaw dropped. โiโm sorry?โ
the woman managed to recover from her initial shock as marius went about through the rows of lip products presented before him, all of which were thoroughly scrutinized by his artistโs eye and rejected.
โwell sir, youโve swatched everything in the store. iโm afraid thereโs nothing else i can offer youโโ
โno. contact the production manager. there has to be something.โ
โbut sir, we just released the new collection for this season. everything in the storeโโ
โโi need them to make me a specific shade.โ
and just like that, thatโs how a lipstick shade became named after you. when word got out, sales skyrocketed and the shade went viral that supply couldnโt keep up with demand. in the succeeding months, revenue for pax fashion flew off the roof and the company earned positive reception for having a โromantic CEOโ at itโs helm. but he couldnโt care less. marius is more than content with seeing that bespoke shade stain his skin with the shape of your lips. all these royalties and awards are just a bonus to the real deal he craves like a drug.
end.
reading notes:
1. initially came up with the idea while sorting through my lipsticks but eventually came together with charlie puth's lipstick
2. oh to have a bespoke lipstick shade made by a man.
ยฉ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐๐ซ๐ข๐ฌ๐ @ ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐๐ฅ๐ซ.๐๐จ๐ฆ
working on new fics for tot because vyn and artem are giving me ideas. sadly i might put the lnd fics on hold since i'm struggling with them ๐ญ (and its all sylus brainrot)