must . not . eat

I feel like my whole life is on pause until I lose weight. Like i’ll never enjoy life or make it meaningful until I’m skinny.

I thought I was getting better. I honestly did. But now I'm laying in bed at 4am, trying to figure out what the fuck is wrong with me and why I'm never enough.

I used to be so skinny effortlessly wtf happened

Imagine waking up on your soft, fluffy bed but still being able to feel your sharp ribs and hips poking into you; you grumble and stretch your long thin limbs until you feel like you might break. As you pad your way out of bed you glance in the mirror and take in your new appearance, your face sharp and defined by the prominent cheeks bones and jawline that are now so clearly there, your collarbones sticking out of your boney shoulders, as you look down you notice you can see the outlines of your sternum through your chest, you can count each rib leading down to your protruding hip bones perfectly framing the razor sharp v-line you recently acquired. Lazily you ruffle your long, messy hair, somehow perfectly placing it on top of your head, shuffling over to your closet you pull out your skinniest pair of jeans that you could have never imagined fitting you, as you tug them up your skeletal legs you slip on one of your old sweaters finding its huge on you allowing your collarbones to stick through. You almost forget to weigh yourself this morning so you quickly hop on the scale only to find that even with your heavy clothes on you have reached your ultimate goal weight, a large smile spreads across your face as you step off, grab your shoes and leave the house to go for a walk, one of your new favorite activities to do in the winter. As you’re walking you notice a group of girls giggling as they walk past you, you manage to hear one of them nervously whispering to the others, telling them how cute she thinks you are asking if she should ask for your number. A few months ago you would have been afraid they were talking badly about you but now you slowly shake your head thinking about how much everything has changed. Now, you’re perfect.