love me then pretend you didn't

(i decided to create one of these because 1) i'm sorry but all of the questions on most ask games i see are so repetitive i want to claw my skin off and 2) asking very specific and intriguing questions is one of my favorite things)

I. work (answer for your current job if you have one, and if you don't then answer for a previous job. all of these can be answered without sharing what you do): 1. what three traits do you have that make you good at your job? 2. if you were rich enough to never work another day in your life, is there any job you’d still choose to do? 3. what’s an unspoken rule at your job? 4. did you lie at all on your resume? 5. if 1 is completely unlike, and 10 is almost identical, how similar is your work attire to your day to day style? 6. were there any misconceptions you had about your job before working it? 7. how long have you been working at your current job and how long do you envision yourself continuing to work there? 8. what’s the craziest/funniest/dumbest reason you’ve called out of work? 9. do you have any terrible boss stories? 10. what is your favorite very specific and mundane aspect of your job? 11. how different is your work personality from your real personality? 12. what do you take most pride in about your work? 13. do you have a hyper specific pet peeve about your job? 14. if 1 is a job you definitely do not want and 10 is your absolute dream job, where would you rank your current job? 15. what’s a weird skill you developed from working at your job? 16. what do you think your coworkers dislike most about you? 17. what are three facts you know about your favorite coworker? 18. if you start work at 9am, what time are you typically walking in? 19. what’s the craziest non-work-related thing you’ve done while on the clock? 20. describe your wildest work drama in only emojis?

II. hobbies/interests/skills: 21. if you could wake up tomorrow being amazing at any skill/hobby but you couldn't profit off of it, which would you pick? 22. what’s a recent internet rabbit hole you’ve fallen down? 23. is there a hobby you’ve been thinking about getting into that you haven’t yet? why haven’t you? 24. what are three guilty pleasures you have? 25. if you were told to walk into a craft store and buy something to do/make, what’s the first thing you’d look for assuming price is no issue? 26. do you have any weird or unique talents? 27. what was your favorite hobby as a kid? do you still like it? 28. is there anything you enjoy that you are objectively bad at? 29. what is a skill you didn’t know you had until you realized nobody else could do it? 30. what is your favorite interest to talk about? 31. what is a hobby you have that people might not expect you to like? 32. what are your favorite activities to do by yourself? 33. did you ever enter a talent show as a kid? how did it go? 34. do you enjoy learning new things? what’s your favorite thing you’ve learned in the last few months? 35. is there a hobby you would like to get into if you had more time/money? 36. if you had to give a ted talk on any topic you wanted but you had to give it with no notes, what would you pick? 37. what is one skill you don’t have that you’re very impressed by people having? 38. what is one thing people in your life are into that you just can’t see the appeal of? 39. if you’ve had a stressful day and want to relax, what are you doing with your evening? 40. what is the weirdest topic you’ve ever hyper fixated on?

III. sex: 41. what is one non-sexual thing about you that you think makes you a good sexual partner? 42. how long do you have to know someone before you’d sleep with them? 43. what type of sexual compliment makes you feel best? 44. what is your ideal lighting during sex? 45. what song could come up on a playlist that would make you immediately stop whatever sexual act you’re doing? 46. if you were only allowed one type of sex toy for the rest of your life (bullet vibe, wand, dildo, plug, cuffs, etc), which would you pick? 47. what is your favorite part of aftercare? 48. describe your worst sex mishap in emojis? 49. how much talking do you like during sex? 50. if 1 is extremely difficult and 10 is super easy, how easy is it to turn you on? 51. what is your least favorite time of day to have sex? 52. what is one thing that you wish all sexual partners would automatically know about you? 53. how long is your ideal sex session? 54. where do you store your sex toys? if you don’t have any, where would you keep them? 55. would you wear a go-pro on your head during sex if your partner asked you to? 56. what is something sexual that a lot of people are into that just doesn’t do it for you? 57. what is your favorite post sex snack? 58. would you have a threesome with a mutual friend? what about a stranger? 59. could you fuck someone who had the same name as your parent? 60. what is the weirdest thing you’ve had on in the background during sex?

IV. relationships: 61. what is a trait you most recently realized you need in a partner? 62. if a new love interest asked you on a date, what activity would they have to suggest for you to immediately say no? 63. what is something small about you that makes you a great partner? 64. how long would you want to date someone before moving in together? 65. what is a red flag you cannot move past? 66. what is something you’ve had to unlearn about relationships? 67. what is one small gesture a partner could do that would mean a lot to you? 68. what is one trait you have that you do not want your partner to have? 69. describe your worst date in emojis? 70. how would someone know that you’re into them? 71. what is something you struggle to ask for in a relationship? 72. do you prefer to plan dates or have dates planned for you? 73. what is one thing in a relationship you do faster than average, and what is one thing you wait on longer than average? 74. what is one date activity people like that you dislike? 75. do you have any weird rules for relationships? 76. have you received any love life advice that’s stuck with you? 77. do you have a specific fantasy/image in your head when you think about your future with your dream partner? 78. what’s your ideal amount of alone time vs together time in a relationship? 79. how many years younger than you would you date? how many years older? 80. what’s something small someone could do on a first date that would help win you over?

Well, u know... Relationship goal???