love me then pretend you didn't

It’s almost unnerving how little, Abby realises, she knows about not only how sex works, not just between two women, but how to initiate it. With Owen, it had been… easy? Not that she’d necessarily enjoyed the experience but he always initiated the act, he was the one who took the lead. Abby just had to lay back or bend over and just… wait, as bad as it sounded. 

She’d heard the other women talk about how fun sex was, one even harping on about how her first time was magical. That they actually… got off? Abby had only ever gotten off on her own, to relieve stress, never with someone else. But then she compared it to how Manny would boast about his escapades, and she figured that these women were fluffing it up. For the other women or so the men would think it was fun for them too, she wasn’t sure. Making it seem like they did, after all it couldn’t be that good - not after the sex she’d been having. Maybe it was just guys who got off from it, enjoyed it, was able to stay in that moment and not have their mind drift off in boredom, to what patrol she was on the next day.

Only, a bottle of contraband wine and some other questionable drinks she did not want to know the origin or contents of, with Nora and Mel, gave her second thought. Because maybe Mel would skirt around it to save embarrassing some guy but Nora? Nora gave Abby an interesting perspective with her stories of past sex encounters, both good and bad. 

“Wait, you– you’ve walked out, like mid—” Nora’s sharp nod and lazy laugh cut Abby’s words off, “Yup! Called it a day, I mean what’s the point if you’re not enjoying it, y’know”

The blonde makes a noncommittal noise, nodding her head like she gets it, like she’s relating. She doesn’t, and instead chews on the inside of her cheek as she contemplates things.

Abby figured something was wrong with her, that there must have been a reason why she didn’t seem to want it the way other girls did. 

Well, now she wants it – God, she wants it bad.

You’re not new, not some bumbling recruit she finds looking across the stadium that changes everything for her. No damsel for Abby to rescue, in fact she can’t help but appreciate how perfectly fine you are at holding your own, even protecting others when brought out on patrols. You both figure out later on you must have come in a group maybe a month or two after Abby, but neither of you had caught the others attention between then and when Abby finally did notice you.

Of course, you’d appreciated the beauty and the build of Isaac’s top scar-killer much like some of the other queer women housed in the WLF, but you’d heard about the break up between her and Owen and assumed she was straight. After all, there’d been nothing and no one before or after him, and perhaps it wasn’t a tightly held secret where Abby’s focus was: vengence. Romance, sex, it didn’t even seem secondary upon brief glance for her, if anything it felt like the last thing that would occur to her now. Abby, on the other hand, doesn’t feel like her world is flipped upside down when the person she’s stumbling over words for, her heart skipping a beat and thighs clenching as she gawks at you from a non-creepy distance, is another woman. She’s too busy trying to think of ways to get your attention and spend time with you for a sexuality crisis to occur.

Which is why you don’t assume she likes you when Abby begins to become, to put it bluntly, an issue. Taking the dogs out without letting you or another trainer know, not on patrols — no, she’s not that insane — but out of their cages to play fetch in the play pen, for a walk around the stadium, or for the worst case that had you forcing an unconvincing smile and gritting your teeth, smuggling Bear into hers’ and Manny’s apartment. Or when she somehow switches the rotations so that when it’s your turn to go on patrol with a dog, it’s her group you’re paired with even if the list says it should be otherwise. It shouldn’t irk you as much as it does, and the longer it goes on, the more it seems to only be you that’s stuck dealing with the inconveniences, the more you grow straight up annoyed. You can’t even complain about it, between Abby being Isaac’s favourite and your friends teasing you about how despite everything you still find the woman unbelievably hot.

Any excuse, anything that won’t get her into too much trouble, Abby can’t help but take any opportunity to be around you. Even if she’s kept in the distance, watching as you scout ahead with whichever dog is assigned (though she always notes her preference for Alice or Bear when putting in requests) 

It’s only after you practically hunt her down that she crumbles, her nerves and anxiety that her attempts to be close to you, to create reasons for you both to interact might have pushed you away. She’s not stammering, she doesn’t come across as a mess exactly, but she’s not her usual self and she can’t steady that nervous feeling in her stomach. At her age, she figured crushes were only a teenage thing but you’ve got butterflies circling in her stomach at what feels like all times. Her confession, your reciprocation of it, the subsequent question of will you be mine barely audible against your lips after a first kiss that has Abby feeling like air is a secondary requirement — everything about the moment makes the two of you feel like everything else blurs, sound dims and all either of you can focus on is the other. It’s only when you feel a nudge at your calf and a squeak, as Alice drops a toy Abby must of 100% smuggled alongside the dog from the pens, that the moment breaks back into reality.

Maybe it would have been easier if it was pure lust, she could have gone in with false confidence and tried to work things out in the moment. And it wouldn’t have mattered if it had been bad, clumsy, embarrassing because if it was just purely lust there was no reason for Abby to interact with you again. But instead, she’s in absolute awe of you and wants the first time the two of you have together to be perfect.

The two of you take it slow, in part out of choice — wanting to get to know each other better, establishing a relationship and making sure you’re both comfortable with each other — but also partly due to your work. Activity builds up and there’s more push for Abby to go on night rotations, longer patrols. You and your fellow trainers/soldiers feel the effect as you’re barely able to recover from patrols before you’re back checking all the paperwork is up to date, all the dogs have been checked, cared for. Even when you’re both working on the same patrol, there’s not enough time for a moment alone but that doesn’t stop the two of you from ogling the other.

Abby finds it almost embarrassing how her cunt aches, her clit throbbing against the seam of her pants as she watches you move. The sweat glistening against the definition of muscle on your arms as you check one of the dogs over following a Seraphite turned runner attack that had almost gone bad, making sure the canine wasn’t injured in any capacity before securing his harness. 

She starts actually (embarrassingly) listening when people start talking about the sex-capades, trying to take in any information she thinks might be useful at a later point.

Embarrassingly, she recalls later that night while she tries (and fails) to sleep with Manny’s snoring occasionally sounding in the apartment, that the things that you do that seem to turn her on the most never seem to be intentionally sexy. The way your hand idly caresses the back of her neck as the two of you sit, curled into each other, both in private and in group settings. An absent minded touch as you laugh and talk, but it has Abby’s breath hitching and her underwear slick.

For a while, neither of you press the topic even when your makeout sessions begin to grow more desperate, hungry kisses trailing down skin and hands touching what is offered up. But actually moving past those? Neither of you push the other, always seeming to come to the same thought that you need to slow down at the same time.

It’s Abby that brings it up, because despite how needy you feel for your girlfriend you know she’s likely more nervous, more… inexperienced than you are. You don’t want to corner her, push her into doing something when she’s not ready for it yet. Abby might showcase bravado for everyone else but with you? You welcome her softness, her hesitation and allow her to make moves as she’s ready.

She’s got one hand roaming across your body, slipping under the hem of your shirt and her touch electric against your skin, sending shivers up your spine deliciously. Her other hand delicately holds your throat, a gentle pressure as her kisses are enough to make you feel dizzy. You’ve got a hand curled beneath Abby’s braid, lightly tugging at the dirty blonde strands while your other hand grips firmly at her hip, guiding her as she rocks against your thigh and makes the neediest of noises.

She doesn’t stop, doesn’t freeze but Abby realises she wants to take that step and the moment is clear to the both of you. Maybe, for you, it’s just that you did take the time to get to know her, rather than just thinking with your pussy. You started to pick up on her tells, the things that give her away. Abby’s lips pull away from yours, a beautiful kiss-bitten pair of lips that part slightly as she takes a breath — no doubt trying to think of what she was about to say. Her hand on your throat lifts, pushing the messy stray hairs framing her face back.

“I want to, I want…” She bites her lip, looking down at you beneath her and swallows her nerves thickly. She feels her cheeks heating, her words tumbling out like she’s ripping off a bandaid.  “I want to do it, I want to have sex with you”

The two of you shift so you’re both laying on your sides, Abby curled into your chest beneath your arm as she talks about her inexperience, her lackluster experiences previously, but also about how she’s been thinking about this, about this experience with you for a while now. Any time you feel Abby start to lose confidence in what she’s saying, in how she’s describing her own feelings and experiences you make sure she’s reassured. Kisses to the forehead, soothing touches against her arm as she speaks — not once speaking, letting Abby say everything she needs to. The only thing you do ask is clarification on if Abby is ready tonight or if she wants to wait, she tries to answer with a hungry kiss but, as much as it feels like it pains you to pull her away, you need to hear it.  “Words, Abigail. You’ve gotta tell me”

“Tonight” Her voice is rough, the words almost coming out like a growl. “I want you tonight”

Abby’s first time with a girl is slow, gentle and easy in a way that eases any residual nerves she has. Of course, she wants to be good — she wants to finish at the end of the night with you praising her as a god, surprise at her performance but she knows the likeliness of this is not in her favor. There’s no rush to jump into anything, languid kisses turn deeper, heavier as the two of you acclimate to it. 

What Abby struggles with in inexperience, she makes up for with enthusiasm. Needy, mewling noises rumbling from her as she tries desperately to get closer to you, peel your clothes off faster, her own clothes off faster — she wants to touch you, taste you, getting so overwhelmed at everything she wants in that moment that all she can do is clench her thighs to try and alleviate the ache from her throbbing clit. 

She doesn’t quite ask, it’s more like she begs to eat your pussy with big, wide and desperate eyes. She doesn’t make any moves to do it, not without your explicit consent, but somehow in your intense makeout she’d already ended up with your legs either side of her. You’re not cruel, you wouldn’t tell her no when her eyes look almost glassy with desperation. She wastes no time after you tell her yes, almost tearing your underwear as she helps (read: yanks) them past your legs and throws them without a care across the room. She forgoes foreplay, a noise of surprise yelping from your lips as Abby spreads you wide, the flat of her tongue licking a greedy stripe from hole to clit, before her tongue laves at your sensitive bud and her mouth closes over, sucking at you sharply. “Oh! Oh! Straight for it then, huh, oh-okay” 

Abby’s not the best, she’s never eaten a girl out before but god, does she put her back into it. She listens for your reactions to try and get an idea on what you like, catalogues what has your thighs falling lax slightly against her with soft, pleasurable sighs and what seems to send shockwaves through your system, thighs clenching and hands in her hair gripping. Her chin is soaked, half her own drool but mainly the arousal dripping from your pretty pussy. Her own pussy is soaked, grinding against her hand but she thinks (embarrassingly) she might be able to cum from the taste of you on her tongue.

She swears she almost sees heaven when she eases two fingers inside of you easily, the velvety tight grip of your pussy turning her on even more. She’s touched herself before, she’s only even cum from touching herself, but this? God, you feel nothing like it feels when she’s inside herself. She listens to you beg and guide her, asking her to please touch you or put her mouth on your clit as your hips roll, guiding Abby’s thick digits inside of you to fuck you. Then as your pleasure builds, asking with a breathy tone still if you can grind against her mouth — Abby’s all to eager, head nodding furiously as she tries not to moan against your pussy. And when you cum, when she finally helps send you over the edge, she thinks for a fleeting moment with how tight you get that you might break her fingers, looking up at you through her lashes with only the slightest bit of alarm visible as she continues sucking and licking at your overworked bundle of nerves.

There’s a brief intermission, aftercare where you both down as much water as you can and just hold each other. Abby doesn’t ask for it, but you can feel the tension rolling off her in waves as you praise her, telling her how good she made you feel, how well she listened as you told her what you liked and how some of her own initiative had your pussy drooling. Aftercare wasn’t something Abby’s had before, so she’s a little surprised when you ask her her jaw is and how she’s feeling, checking if you were too rough at times — it makes her feel seen, cared for when you check in on her.

Abby doesn’t expect reciprocation, but when you ask if you can help her feel good she can’t help but feel a mix of relief and desire. Her underwear is soaked, an unmistakable mess that has a pretty blush tinging her face and spreading down to her chest as you comment on it. It’s not a mean taunting but a gentle teasing, followed by an “All this for me, Abs?”

Her clit is hard, throbbing from lack of attention as you take in her messy cunt. Abby whines above you as you settle between her thighs, your teasing kisses across her chest leading downwards has her biting her fist and throwing her head back as you get close to where she wants, no— at this point— needs you. She whines even more, petulantly, when you avoid her pussy all-together and move to pressing gentle kisses on the inside of her thighs; working your way up on one side slowly before moving to the other thigh. She’s not quite begging but the noises she makes and how ruined her cunt seems to be from earlier has you bringing her sweet relief.

She almost keens off the bed, your hands coming either side of her muscled thighs to hold them in place as she moans loudly, unabashedly at the featherlight feeling of your tongue against her. She’s louder as you get to work on her, easing one finger inside of her first as you practically make out with her swollen clit. 

It’s almost unnerving how little Abby had felt she’d known about how sex worked, how to initiate it and if she enjoyed it to begin with before, because now? It almost sends her into a state of shock how quickly you bring her to orgasm, how you work her over until your mouth is covered in her cum, tongue lazily lapping at her cunt to soothe her engorged clit until she’s lifting you up from overstimulation.