uncharted

Do you think a Snuggie would be breaking the school dress code?

I think it'll be a little impractical. Those things are so long, you'll be tripping all day!

I’d sound a lot less interested than I sound right now if I was trying to spare your feelings. I’m awful at lying.

Okay, valid point. I feel even better now.

Why would I just say that? That’s probably one of the nicest things anybody has ever done for me. 

To spare my feelings. But I'm so glad you like it.

Wait, really? Like you're not just saying that?

Okay. Hit me with your best shot. 

I realized I was gay because I had to paint a half naked girl in my art class over the summer, and I hated this painting at first but it helped me... become who I am. And I know it's probably totally weird and I promise this isn't me like, trying to give you porn because it's art, but that's a whole other argument but you also played... like a ridiculously huge part in me coming to terms with myself so I just. Want you to uh, have it. If you want it. It deserves to be displayed.

…So I guess I’m not living illegally, now. Passed the 18th year. I feel like an 80 year trapped in an 18 year old’s body.

I have something for you. For your birthday, I mean. Happy birthday by the way. Anyway, it's kind of strange and you might not even want it and it might be totally inappropriate, but I always want to deck out your apartment with art so...

Is nice to look at for the first fifteen minutes and then it’s wet and cold.

Oh come on! You don't like playing in the snow at all? Or is that just me because I have two little siblings.

I wish it were warmer…

But snow...

It’s the same when you’re a step-kid, because everyone kind of had their kids around certain ages and you were never counted in the plan because you weren’t part of that family. 

Hmm, I never thought of it like that. Good point. I think my parents planned to stop at me but here we are, two more kids later.

Work parties suck, especially when the people closest to your age are the babies brought by the parents who couldn’t find sitters. We so should, I’ve got a few years worth of them. Good point.

Oh man, I feel that. I'm the middle kid so everyone's either way younger or way older. And I'm just chillin' in the middle like okay cool. That sounds like a challenge.

We don’t have many- just his brother’s and his work party, which I finally convinced him to let me skip. I don’t know what’s worse: the fact that they sell them, or the fact that people actually buy them. I would be so embarrassed just buying one.

Work parties sound terrible. But my aunt's party is probably worse. We should swap horror stories. Probably the fact that people buy them. They wouldn't have to make them if there was no market for it.

I don’t have to burden anyone, really. He’ll drive me if I bug him enough- it’s his brother’s party I’m being dragged to, anyways. Oh…. yeah, I definitely wouldn’t get positive remarks from that one. Why do people make things like that? It’s funny to say “hey! Look at these reindeer on the sweater!” but not to actually buy it and wear it in public…

I hear you on the getting dragged to holiday parties thing. I'm pretty sure my family single handedly caused global warming with all the driving to parties we do. I don't get that either, but they actually sell them. I would be so embarrassed the whole time if I wore one.

Well, that’s good.