advils & ink spills

ID: 1. Wide comic panel showing Ed and Izzy standing in the Captain's quarters on The Revenge. Izzy stands back on the right, arms crossed and scowling off to the side as he says, "You're really gonna let this... ponce just stroll back in-" Ed, wearing a flowery purple dressing gown, back to the viewer in the foreground as he folds some items in a wicker basket, cuts in with a casual "Watch it, Iz." Izzy continues, "-like he didn't ruin you then leave you high and fookin dry. Blackbeard wouldn't put up with that."

2a. Top left comic panel, Ed from the front as he turns to face Izzy, holding the basket of folded blankets. We see he is wearing his black undershirt and leather trousers under the dressing gown. He smiles mockingly at Izzy, brows raised in fake pity as he replies, "Aw, you seem upset, Izzy! Need to get something off your chest?" 2b. The next speech bubble crosses over to the top right panel, which shows a close up of Izzy's stern face staring at Ed as Ed steps closer. Ed continues, "Well, you know what we do on The Revenge!" 2c. Bottom left panel, profile shot of Ed and Izzy facing each other as Ed leans close with an easy grin, booping Izzy on the nose with his pointer finger. He continues, "We talk it through, as aaa...?" and trails off to allow Izzy to complete the phrase. 2d. Bottom right panel, same shot as previous panel. Izzy slaps Ed's finger away from his face, spitting "I'm not like Bonnet's stupid playthings!" towards the floor. Ed allows his hand to be slapped down, expression unbothered.

3a. Shot over the back of Izzy's shoulder as he continues to glare at the floor to avoid Ed's gaze. Ed is tall in the frame, a shadow falling over his face as his smile drops. He agrees, "No...you're not." The background of the room blurs together into smears of teal that darkens around Ed. 3b. Ed suddenly tackles Izzy around the thighs, fully taking him off the floor and knocking him outside the bounds of the angled red action panel. Izzy's arms flail and he lets out a shocked "Wha-?" as Ed wordlessly takes him down, face in shadow.

ID: 1. screenshot of a post thread. shamebats wrote: I’m waiting for the moment Laszlo goes “wtf Guillermo is hot??” and starts hitting on him from then on. lexou-chan wrote: I have a suspicion that will be when Guillermo will finally be a vampire. And Nandor will NOT be a fan of that AT ALL. beansprean wrote: Oh SHIT you’re so right…Guillermo is gonna march into the room with the energy of the outcast kid at his high school reunion who KNOWS he got hot and laszlos trouser button is going to fly across the room.

2a. Artistic rendition of the last comment. Guillermo, now a vampire and grinning smugly to show off his fangs, leans into a doorway to wave and say “Sup, everybody?” 2b. Reverse shot of Nadja and Laszlo on the couch. Nadja is looking up from brushing her doll’s hair, confused and uninterested. The doll’s eyes move toward Guillermo in surprise without moving from Nadja’s lap. Laszlo lurches forward over a suddenly raging erection, eyes wide and mouth panting, hands gripping the back and arm of the couch and cracking the wood. The button on his trousers pings across the room from the force of his erection. Above him is red dripping text that reads “lust.jpg”

1. Guillermo sitting on a couch, Nandor straddling his lap. Guillermo's cardigan is half unbuttoned and he has his hands resting on Nandor's hips. Nandor has both knees tucked into Guillermo's side and his arms braced on the back of the couch on either side of his head. Nandor's head is turned towards the viewer to glare over his shoulder, snapping, "Laszlo, go away! I am wooing! Pervert!" Guillermo, eyes going small and shocked as he looks past Nandor, startles and goes entirely red. A heartbeat line behind him flatlines.

ID: 1. Full body of Stede and Ed standing in an 80s grocery store. Ed, wearing a black tee shirt tucked into lightwash jeans, black boots, a light blue handkerchief in his back left pocket, and his hair in a high ponytail, is standing with an empty grocery cart with both hands on the handle and one foot up on the bottom basket. He glances from the empty cart and then to Stede, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. Stede, wearing a retro-patterned teal and purple short sleeved button up tucked into pleated khaki slacks, brown leather loafers, and a gold watch, his hair swept back in a big feathered quiff, holds his hands up defensively with a nervous smile. He says, “Oh- Darling, no. No, no, I’m too big!”

2a. Ed begins to stalk towards Stede with a mischievous grin, arms out in a grabbing motion. Stede backs up, smile growing even as his eyes narrow in warning and his hands try to bat him away. “Ed.” he says shortly. 2b. Ed darts forward and grabs Stede around the waist, scooping him up over his shoulder. Stede bursts into laughter, face going red, and yells “Ed! Put me down, you’ll hurt yourself!” 2c. Ed walks back toward their cart with Stede flopped over his shoulder and sings, “Nonsense, love!” In the background, there is a young brown woman wearing a patterned jumpsuit with long dark feathered hair facing the shelves as she browses cereal. There is a baby over her shoulder wearing teal overalls who catches Stede’s eye as they pass and reaches out a chubby little hand to wave at him in solidarity. Stede waves back automatically, clearly embarrassed but unable to stop smiling.

3a. Ed half-falls into the cart with a punched-out “Oof!” as he flops Stede down into it butt-first, his face buried in Stede’s chest and Stede’s legs flying up around him. 3b. Ed lifts himself up with his arms braced on either side of Stede, nose-to-nose with his husband who has sat up in the cart with a silly grin, one leg thrown over the side. Ed continues the previous conversation with a soft smile, “It’s like holding a couple of grapes.” 3c. Ed closes the last inch between them to smack a kiss on the tip of Stede’s nose. Stede reddens and snorts out a laugh.

4. Close up on the woman in their aisle as she chooses a cereal called “Matey Puffs” featuring a white cartoon Blackbeard with a hook hand. She glances over in confusion at Ed and Stede as they zoom away, Stede tucked in the cart and Ed driving, both giggling uncontrollably. The baby continues to wave after them.

5. Text reading “Later…”

6a. Stede and Ed waiting in line at the checkout. Stede is still in the cart, knees pulled to his chest, now surrounded by piles of groceries including a bottle of L&P soda, a bag of shredded cheese, a head of romaine lettuce, a bottle of wine, a few packs of meat, a bag of apples, a bag of Twisties, a loaf of bread, a bag of Roshuns, several packs of spaghetti, and a few miscellaneous cartons and jars. Ed, one hand on the cart handle, suddenly smacks the heel of his other hand against his forehead with a “duh!” expression. He exclaims, “Oh, shit! We forgot the oranges!” Stede turns his head around shoot him an annoyed look and replies, “What?? That’s the whole reason we came!” 6b. Ed runs off in a cloud of dust, shouting behind him, “BRB, Baby! Kiss kiss!” Stede cranes his neck after him in panic, unable to move from his grocery prison, calling, “Wai- Ed! Ed!!” 6c. Stede turns back around, red faced, sweating with nerves, and now a middle aged man alone in a full grocery cart. In front of him in queue is a bald man resembling Black Pete in a white suit with the sleeves rolled up, pushing his own cart. Behind him are an older dark-skinned woman with short gray hair wearing a puff sleeve shirt, long pink skirt, and pearls, holding a full basket with both hands and a large Māori man resembling Fang in a pink polo shirt and pleated khakis with a bag of dog food under one arm. They both step forward automatically to fill Ed’s vacated space.

7a. The older woman leans forward toward Stede with a small smile, saying, “You and your husband are very sweet.” Stede cranes his neck around to smile at her nervously, replying, “Oh! Thank you…” 7b. The woman loosens one hand from her basket to place it on Stede’s cart, continuing, “Let me push you forward, the queue is moving.” Stede drops his chin to his chest in relief, breathing out a much more genuine “Thank you.”

8a. Text at the top reads “9 minutes later”; Stede has reached the front of the line. The employee, who resembles Izzy, is wearing a blue striped button up and red bow tie under a yellow apron and stands, one hand hovering over the register as he stares down silently at Stede. Stede, looking small and scared, barely able to peek over the edge of the counter, stares back sweatily with wide eyes and says, “Ummm…” 8b. The employee startles as Stede cracks his head back and screams at the top of his lungs, “Ed!! Darling, where are you?? We have a problem!!”