Caroline.

Me on my wedding day: you still like me right

I drink the wine, I see blood. There’s no escaping it this time. Another heartbreak I’ll never get over. This one far surpasses them all. Grief, regret, loss beyond comprehension. No hope, no love. No faith. I slammed your door and waved goodbye to the only dream I'll ever know. It wasn't you.. it was me. I said goodbye with my mouth wide open and my eyes shut. Dear old friend. You won't know how you made my life. When you find someone new and are thankful you didn't wait around on me, I'll smile because you're happy. I will be sad. But for you I'd take all the hurt and pain and anger anyone could ever feel. We still have something in common- I won't ever forgive me either. Don't ask me to. If I could say anything it would be I'm sorry I threw away everything that was good in life in one night. I can't comprehend it, but you're always right and you said my soul was as evil and black as anything and you're right about that too. I'll miss you like I would oxygen if I forgot how to breathe. This is it. It was well with my soul. My life was one of sunshine, now it will be one of unbearable rotten fruit. Death, come to me soon. This life isn’t one I want to live anymore.