This and That and Everything in between

To anyone who reads this hi!

New sideblog to help find friends and solace in this ed

Height: 157cm | 5'2"

sw: 61kg | 135lbs

cw: 54kg | 119lb

gw: 53kg | 116lbs

ugw: 47kg | 104lbs

I need lots of accounts to follow, so just interact or drop me a message if you're a weight loss acc and want a follow

and im back to my starting weight

I normally sleep on my side with my legs bent and on top of each other

For some reason I can no longer do that, my knees feel bony? even my legs, whichever way I put them on each other, I feel the bone

Bear in mind, when I look in the mirror I see 0 difference in the size of my legs, trust me, my thighs are still unfortunately still thicc and jiggly

anyways, still on my weight loss journey currently 54kg, been plateauing for a long while tho

just been super busy with uni

I want to stop being so invisible, I want to be seen I want to be heard, I want to live, I’m tired of not living, so I want to stop living I want to become so small I disappear, I was to stop being so invisible, I want to live, I want to live, I want to live

But I know now this is all there is, this is all that is destined to be, life does not get better, the peak of my life has long since passed, and I didn’t even realise, no one will love me, no one can love me, I am unloveable, I am annoying, I am horrid, my personality is horrid and boring and my entire being is in pain

I want it to end, I want to stop feeling like this, I want to end everything, I want to destroy everything, I want to scream so loud so people know I exist, I feel, and I am here, I want to be seen, I want to be heard, and I want to be loved, but I cannot, I do not get to have love, it does not belong to me, I do not get friends, I do not get companionship, this is all I get, it does not get better, it will get worse, I don’t want to be here for when It gets worse, I want to sleep and never wake up, never have to live, I want to stop being in pain, I want to stop being so alone

I am made for being alone, I am destined to be alone, I was created to be by myself, my whole life, to be stuck, while everyone moves on and only I am left, there is no one coming for me, there will be no one ever,

I am to blame, my ugliness is to blame, my horrid personality is to blame, I want to walk and walk and walk and walk and walk until I fall and can never get back up again, I want to feel so much pain to just feel

why was i cursed with a massive ribcage!!!

i can imagine other peoples faces but not mine, and everytime i look in the mirror i'm surprised, ahh so that's what i look like

I was waiting for my order at Five Guys (i know, i know, it was a ✨metabolism boost ✨, and if you think otherwise, you'd be right, okay please don't say anything i already h8 myself)

and the guy at the counter recognised me, AND he knew exactly how i liked my chips

i wanna log out from life, i wanna cancel this subscription because i did not ask for THIS

at least this will make me never wanna go back to five guys again, soooo, i guess it's a good thing????

no please i was so embarrassed what the HELL! nothing says fatty like a fast food worker recognising you from your visits 😭