girl all alone

Josie had thought back to the foster families she had been part of in the past. There were a handful of people she mourned greatly, knowing it was likely they hadn’t survived. There had been a few instances in her past where she felt part of something bigger. A real family. But those moments had been fleeting and they had been torn apart by extenuating circumstances that no one had any control of. But other than death, there was nothing that she believed could pull the two of them apart. He promised he wouldn’t leave without her, and she trusted him. While they might take time apart when they find they need space, Josie was sure they’d always come back together. He was going to be her family. And she hoped she could be the same for him.

There wasn’t much to tell about her own past. It was a typical sob story. A sad, lonely girl in a world that never truly brought her into a home for longer than a few months. But he had a longer, more consistent history. She nodded along, knowing the truth about survival. You did what you had to do to make it out on the other side as unscathed as possible. There were plenty of things she had done in the past to survive a handful of homes she had been placed in. She gave him a gentle look, shaking her head. “I don’t think you’re an asshole, Five. I don’t think I ever could. You did what you had to do because of the situation you were in. You know it wasn’t right. You’re not ignoring what you did wrong. Acknowledging your mistakes proves that you’re not an asshole. You were just trying to survive the only way you knew how.”

“I think survival was key in that place.” He managed to let go of it. It wasn’t a very obvious reason to why he ran away in the first place—no, that was to prove a point, that he was ready to time travel after all. But, he only had himself to blame for the repercussions. Before that, he knew his father needed to be held responsible for allowing such ignorance in the house. Five couldn’t forget what he had done, what all of them had done to lead Vanya to writing this book, but even as he had glanced to the back cover as it sat on the ground, she looked so much older, so much wiser, so much lonelier. His family hadn’t changed their ways, even as they were allowed so much more time together.

Sighing again, he rubbed at his forehead before taking a seat o the makeshift chairs out of spare parts they could find, trying to rest another moment while he still could. “When I was younger, I began to believe that I would grow up to be just like him, just like my father, that’s why I started to try to do my own things. I didn’t want to be like him, I didn’t want to be just another loyal soldier to him.” And that’s how he ended up where he was now, because he didn’t listen, he thought to himself. “I’ve got to find a way to get back.”

Josie took a seat nearby, keeping her eyes glued to him as he worked through his personal expectations. “From what you told me, your father was a monster. You’re not a monster. You wanted to prove yourself. You’re not a puppet. You wouldn’t be here if you were.” She insisted, pressing her lips together after a moment. Eventually, she offered a small smile in his direction. “Well, you have the rest of your life to figure it out. I’ll help anyway I can.”

For Josie, adapting to a new home was never this easy. It typically took her a week on average to feel comfortable in her new dwellings, always careful not to speak out suddenly or run her mouth too much. But here, with Vanya, she was finding herself fitting in better than ever before. If it were possible for her eyes to grow wider, they would have. “You used to write? What did you write? Did you get published?” Her questions were rapid-fire. Excitable, without any pause. “I don’t have a lot of money…ever. I usually just go to libraries…” She explained bashfully, though she was never ashamed of using libraries.

She walked herself into that one. “Oh, I…. wrote an autobiography,” she says. “Kind of. My family was part of this…. I guess kinda’ superhero academy? The Umbrella Academy. But they all had powers and I just…. didn’t. So it was about what it was like to grow up there with them. Yeah, it got published. I know a few bookstore owners from doing signings around the neighborhood, so they let me hang out there whenever.” She nods. “We’ve got a library two stops on the bus from here. We can go around the neighborhood tomorrow if you feel like it, get you a better lay of the land.”

To be blind is not miserable;  not to be able to bear blindness, that is miserable.

I got to love a man with my all.  I may not be a mother to my own flesh and blood.  I got to be a mother to children who needed one. I could not ask for a better life.

All the anxiety she had felt about living in a one-on-one foster home began to melt away more and more as the moments passed. They had similar temperaments and interests. “I’d really like that.” She spoke softly, looking at Vanya with a gaze that was wide but warm. “I bet you’re a really good teacher.”

She smiles. “Good,” she says, feeling oddly proud of herself for putting Josie at ease. She hasn’t been in her home for that long, after all, and she thinks this might be a record or something for a kid coming into a new home. “I mean, I hope I am. I would be pretty useless if I wasn’t. Teaching’s just about the only thing I’ve ever done. I used to write, but that was sorta’…. short-lived.” She glances over at her bookshelf. She’s not really sure why she’s got a copy of her own book, except perhaps a fleeting feeling of narcissism. She looks back at Josie. “You said you like to read, though, right? I know some good bookstores around here.”