A Bada$$

She doesn’t have time for me anymore. It hurts. We used to be so close but now it feels like she’s in another world entirely. I’m happy that she’s doing so well in her career but it feels like she doesn’t care anymore.

I’m just so pathetic. For believing, for trusting, for opening my heart.

Now that I know the truth my feelings haven’t changed. I love you. I’m stupid for it but I still love you. So much. And I know it won’t be easy finding you but it will be worth it. I just hope I am good enough...and that you don’t think I’m pathetic. I kind of am but it would hurt too much coming from you. For now I find peace in the fact that you are somewhere out there, maybe even reading this. I don’t hate you one bit. I think I’d forgive you for anything. I’m fucked up like that

It was a mistake. You were right. I chose wrong

Tell me why nearly a year later I still miss something that will never be. I never stop thinking about you

It’s never enough

The idea of it used to scare me but now that I have tried, I can’t stop. My mouth water at the possibility of seeing the blood ooze out of a fresh cut. It’s so red, so calming. The way it forms red patterns on the outside of my wrist, the way it drips down my leg. Oh god, I’m addicted.

I feel sexually liberated and I love it

Honestly I’ll probably end up committing myself to a psychiatric ward by next year. I hate school but once it ends my thoughts will be able to roam free to dark places and I won’t be able to handle it. It’s safer that way....so I don’t end up hurting people in my life.