Okay, so do vampires drink from arteries or veins or both? Asking for a friend.

@vampireapologist

“I’ve never met a vampire” exactly what a vampire would say.

@chrisbangs

i hate when people with an outtie belly button are mean omg i will grab you by the umbilical cord and swing you in air

are we ignoring both of the penises, or…..?

I’m just happy that the pilots out there have this kind of precision.

Oh I thought some pilot was doing this to some poor passengers who just wanted to go from Chicago to LA or something and then I scrolled up and saw it was test pilots.

“And if you look out the left window, you’ll see the same mountains again, but from a slightly different angle.”