Highkey Gay for Hela

She didn’t like thinking about what she had done. Didn’t like holding the responsibility of what had happened to you on her shoulders with a heaviness that dragged her down, making the overarching outcome unworthy of the cost.

If only she had realized what was happening, what was being done to her. Perhaps she could have stopped herself from letting you go the one place she couldn’t follow, no matter how much she longed to.

The sound of a door opening brought Hela back to her senses, though her distant gaze remained unmoved, looking through the window and out into the courtyard, as if she could find all the answers she wished for and comfort she craved so desperately hidden amongst the grass and flowers down below. She didn’t look up even as she felt a presence settle near her side.

“It’s time.”

The rough voice was enough to jolt her a little more firmly into the present, though she still refused to look him in the eye.

Not after what he’d made her do.

The short silence that followed was halted by a heavy sigh.

“You are the one that wanted to lay her to rest.”

Something snapped inside of her, at that, and with a gaze so fierce she could have turned everything to stone, she finally looked at her father, fighting to keep her focus on him and not the pale figure that stood off to the side behind him. As she spoke, her lips curled into a snarl that she struggled not to vocalize.

“And you’re the reason that she’s dead.”

The Allfather said nothing to that, instead turning his own gaze to the window. As though silence was what would fill in the cracks of their shattered relationship and make it whole again. As though his refusal to acknowledge his part in the crime would bring you back and make everything as it once was again.

Unwilling to let him get away so easily, Hela exhaled heavily, her fury palpable in the space between them.

“You had no right using the Stone on me. No. Right.”

“It had to be done.”

Hela felt her fingers twitch against the seam of her black trousers. She hadn’t been able to wear her suit again yet. Couldn’t bring herself to, when your blood stained the memory of it.

“You made it so.” She swallowed thickly. “You knew there was no other way for you to get what you wanted.” For just a second, her gaze faltered to that pale figure again, long enough to see the distraught melancholy etched across lips firmly pressed together, and then she had to look away again.

Do you regret what you did?

“It is not just I who benefits from the collection of the Infinity Stones, daughter. The entirety of them in our armory would ensure that Asgard remains the very seat of power in not just the Nine Realms, but the entire cosmos.”

“It means nothing.” This time Hela did snarl, hands curling into fists where they hung at her sides. She couldn’t afford to let her anger get the better of her. Even if there were no longer consequences that she cared about.

The Allfather heaved another sigh that seemed to echo in the emptiness of the solarium. “…you’ll understand, in time.”

Hela bit out a scoff, lips pressing together tightly as she tried to control the urge to continue arguing, and almost immediately lost. “Did you watch it happen? Did you see the fear in her eyes, as I dragged her to the edge of the cliff? Hear the terror in her voice as she tried to figure out what I was doing? Why I was the one doing it?” She swallowed thickly, blinking to stifle the burn of tears in her eyes. “She didn’t go willingly. She was terrified. She fought and she kicked and she tried to get away. And I didn’t let her. You didn’t let her.”

“That she fought means she will be immortalized in Valhalla.”

“At what cost?!” This time, Hela could not keep the emotion out of her voice, and one single tear trailed down her face. “I’ll never be able to see her again. She will never be allowed into my realm, and I will never be allowed into hers. Something else that you made so. What a birthright. To rule a realm only the unglorified in death will see.”

“Hela.” The Allfather’s voice was much softer than it had been previously, and for just a moment, Hela thought that he might actually regret what he had done. That he might actually hold remorse for taking control of her mind with the Stone and giving her no choice but to do his bidding by whatever means necessary.

And then out of the corner of her eye, she saw the figure move just an inch closer, blurry features becoming just a little more recognizable. Familiar.

“…leave me to bury her alone. I don’t require your help nor do I want it. It was by my hand that she was killed, and it will be by my hand that she is laid to rest. In the gardens. And you will not demand I place her elsewhere. You will not complain about the state of the soil and grass until the ground heals over again. It will serve as a reminder for you just as much as it will for me. And I wish that you could feel the same pain and regret that I will, every day for the rest of my life.” She paused, taking a shaky breath as she turned her head to face the window again. “But you won’t. And you never will.”

Nothing was said after that, and Hela held her breath until she heard the sound of receding footsteps followed by a door closing. She wanted to break down right then and there. Wanted to scream and break things and weep until she could no longer.

But she had to make it through what came next.

She owed you that much.

Taking a slow breath to steady herself, she turned from the window, ignoring the fact that the figure was now closer than it had been, and began to walk, each step feeling like it took every drop of energy she held within herself.

You can do this, she told herself over and over again, ignoring the feel of eyes on her as the figure undoubtedly followed just behind her.

In a strange sort of way, Hela mused that it felt right that this was something that was going to be just the two of you. All that had ever been between you, had only been for the two of you. Until it hadn’t, and that was a mistake Hela already knew she would regret for the rest of her time. One little slip, and your secret had become known and then had been used against you, and now she was burying you.

When she reached the spot in the gardens where it was to be done, she found that you had already been brought out, your body wrapped in black silks tied neatly with ribbons. She hadn’t wanted to confine you into a coffin. You had never liked small spaces. And you’d always talked about how one day your body would go on to grow the very flowers and trees that you loved so much, so it had seemed natural for Hela to bury you in a way that you were closer to achieving that.

Did you ever think I’d be growing the flowers so soon?

She reached over to take the shovel that had been propped up against the willow tree that she had picked out to bury you beneath. She easily could have had someone dig the hole for her, or could even have used magic to carve out the ground beneath her, but she wanted to do it herself. Wanted to punish herself in a way that was useful. A way that honored you, even if it was the saddest way in which one could honor a person.

You deserved so much more than that, but it was all Hela could give you now.

As she began to dig down into the earth, she was all too aware of the pale figure standing just across from her, could feel the gaze following her as she mechanically dug the shovel down, hefted the dirt to the side, and repeated the motion over and over again. The silence that surrounded her seemed… loud. Unnatural and uncomfortable, and she wished that a bird would settle in one of the drooping branches of the tree and sing just to fill the emptiness that had bled out from her heart and begun to saturate the garden as she dug and dug.

It wasn’t until Asgard’s sun had reached its peak in the sky that Hela finally allowed herself a break. She’d dug a solid four feet into the ground, which likely would be more than enough to lay you to rest without a coffin, but to err on the safer side, she wanted to dig at least another foot or two more.

Pulling herself up to sit on the edge of the empty grave, she took a moment to rub at her hands, swiping the dirt and debris away as best she could, and as she turned her hands, the sunlight caught on the ring she wore on her right hand. Something else that had been just for the two of you. She brought her hand closer to her face, carefully wiping at the set stone perched neatly in the band, trying to wipe away the last remaining specks of dirt, even though she knew it was fruitless. She was only going to dig more and have to do the same thing over again when she finished.

“I gave you that ring.”

Hela swallowed thickly, and after a long moment of hesitation, tilted her head up to finally look at you, trying to ignore the way the sunlight streamed right through your body, and how the draping leaves of the willow tree passed right through your chest and legs as you stood on the other side of the grave, face still twisted with that deep melancholy that had made itself home in your expression.

“It was just for us. Something only we would know. And that was enough. For me, it was enough.”

Hela swallowed thickly, unable to hold your gaze as you spoke. The sound of your voice brought back terrible memories, of the way she had gripped you by the wrist and pulled you bit by bit to the edge of the cliff and the way you had screamed, begged her to stop and apologized for whatever you had done to upset her so.

“It wasn’t really you that did it. I know that now.” You turned your face up to look at the flowering buds on the ends of the willow branches as they blew in the breeze, holding your hand out and watching the sunlight filter through the translucency of your skin. “It’s funny, when you die. You learn all the secrets. The ones you’ve always wanted to know, and the ones you had no idea were being kept.” You gave a sad smile, letting your hand drop back to your side as you looked back to Hela, frowning when you realized she still wasn’t looking at you. “I think that it would be too much for someone living to know. And that’s why it’s all kept away from you until you have nothing left to learn in life, so you have to learn everything that comes after it.” You gave a soft sigh, wanting nothing more than to reach out and comfort her, to draw her into your arms and soothe away her hurt and grief. “…I’m not mad at you. I need you to know that.”

Hela finally looked up at that, brow creased with a sorrow that you knew mirrored that which resided in your own being. “I killed you. I did.”

You shook your head. “Not of your own accord. And that’s what matters. What he did to you was unfair. And yes, what you did to me because of him was unfair, too, but… I cannot hold it against you. I saw how you were afterward. When it was done. Saw the way you broke yourself out of the grip of the Mind Stone, the way you fought your way back to me, uncaring of the work it would take for you to find me at the bottom of that cliff.” You gave a soft, sad little smile. “Did you know you’re the only person that’s ever come back for someone? I learned that after I died, too.”

Hela forced a smile that even you could see was more sadness than anything else. “I couldn’t leave you there. When I came to my senses, when I realized what had happened… I had to bring you back. I couldn’t leave you there, after everything. After seeing the way you had fought so hard to get me to stop and I hadn’t… couldn’t…”

You nodded slowly, taking a slow breath, even though you didn’t need the oxygen any longer. “I didn’t have it in myself to go with grace. I knew that much, even though I didn’t understand what was happening at the time. I knew I had to fight back, even if it was pointless. To be honest, I think it was more out of instinct than anything else.”

Hela averted her gaze to the bottom of the pit once more, and abruptly turned it up again. If she looked too long at the distant ground beneath her, she could see the image of your broken form sprawled out on the ground, laying there like a forgotten porcelain doll. You watched as Hela’s face darkened, and couldn’t bear to see her get upset any more than she already was, and you heaved another pointless sigh. “…I don’t want you to remember me like that, though.”

Hela took a shaky breath, cutting her eyes back to look at you directly again. “I don’t want to remember you like this, either.”

You smiled as best you could. “Then don’t. Remember me the way that I was when it was just you and me. Those special moments we had when no one else was watching. That’s how I’ll remember you.”

“I don’t know how to go on without you,” Hela admitted, in the smallest voice you had ever heard her speak in, and it broke you to know that it was because of you.

“The same way that you did before me.”

Hela shook her head. “It’s different now. I’ll know what I lost. What I could have had.”

You smiled softly, trying not to let your overwhelming sadness show in your expression. “I will always be yours. Even if I’m nothing but the morning breeze or the light of the moon shining on you in the dark when you can’t sleep at night. I’ll still be yours.”

“I’ll miss you.” She hesitated for a moment. “I already do. I miss you so much, that I feel it. Like an ache in my bones.”

“And I’ll miss you the same. I always will. And it will hurt, knowing that I can exist and go anywhere I could ever want, in a sense, but… never back home.” The weight of your words left you drifting down toward the ground, and you let yourself hover as though you were sitting on the edge of the grave, your grave, across from Hela so that you could keep watching her.

“You were so brave. Up until I… up until the end, you were so brave. You always were.”

You looked up at Hela to find that she was openly weeping now. You’d rarely seen her cry before, but this… this was something entirely different. This was a cry that seemed to be wrenching itself from somewhere deep within her chest, causing her hands to tremble and her shoulders to heave with the force of it.

“You taught me to be. And I will always be grateful for that. Grateful for the time that we had together, even if it was cut so devastatingly short.”

After an achingly long moment, Hela nodded, though you weren’t sure if it was in agreement or resolve, and then she stood again and reached for the shovel before hopping back down into the bottom of the grave.

There were so many more things you wanted to say, and you were sure that there were even more things that Hela wanted to say, too, but instead you let the silence wash over the both of you, watching wordlessly as she continued to dig deeper and deeper. Until the sun had begun its descent down toward the horizon.

It was just before sunset when Hela finally seemed satisfied with her work and she climbed out long enough so that she could carefully cradle your body to hers as she hopped back down to the bottom again. She couldn’t bear the thought of just tossing you down there as though you were little more than a rag doll. She wanted to lay you there gently, like she could pretend she was only tucking you in for a nap and not an eternal sleep.

With careful, hesitant hands, she laid you down gently, making sure that you were settled nicely against the horribly uncomfortable dirt beneath you, and she absentmindedly smoothed down the silks covering you, making you look nice and neat before kissing the top of your head and lingering there as you watched from above, a lump forming in your throat as you knew what would have to come next.

Hela hesitated after she had gotten herself back out of the grave, turning back around to look down where you lay, so far away and alone. It filled her with such a strong wish that she could follow you, which was quickly dampened by the knowledge that she never could, no matter how hard she tried.

You continued to watch her in silence, having a vague idea of where her mind was at, but uncertain that speaking about it so openly would help matters.

“I’m not down there anymore. And I never will be.” You made yourself rise, so that you were standing more equally with Hela again. “You don’t have to worry about me now. I’ll be okay.”

“But you won’t be with me,” Hela lamented, absentmindedly reaching for the shovel and gripping it in both hands as she continued to look down into the grave.

“Just because you cannot see me does not mean I won’t be with you. I will always be with you. Like birdsong on the wind or a lullaby in the quiet of night. Remember?”

You watched Hela as she finally, slowly, tore her gaze away from your motionless form down in the earth and looked back up at you, gaze drinking you in as though this would be her last chance to. And you supposed it would be, no matter how much you tried to sugarcoat it with sweet words and romantic ideas.

“I will be okay,” you repeated, holding her gaze with as much honesty and reassurance as you could muster when you could feel your heart aching, knowing that your remaining time with Hela was limited.

After an agonizingly long moment, Hela nodded, shifting her grip on the shovel slightly before finally turning, scooping up the first bit of dirt and knowing it would be the hardest.

She did not look as she let it fall down into the grave. Didn’t want to see it hit you, hear it land against the silks with a dull thud. Instead, she kept digging, slowly covering you up bit by bit as you watched her, unwilling to look anywhere else but at her.

You could feel it, as whatever last little bit of you that was tethered to Asgard, or perhaps Hela, began to sever in a way you knew meant that it was time for you to go wherever you were meant to be next. It felt calming, so peaceful that you knew you never could have experienced a feeling like it, when you were still alive. You tried to speak, tried to call Hela’s name one last time, but your voice came out little more than a whisper, despite the fact that you tried to scream it into the sky, desperate for her to look at you one last time.

Hela, though, seemed to sense what was happening without your help, and without stopping what she was doing, she met your gaze, mournful eyes locked with yours as she shoveled mound after mound of dirt on top of you. She kept her gaze on you as your translucent body flickered, fading in and out of existence as she buried you.

I love you, you wanted to tell her. Wanted to scream it so that everyone around could hear it, could feel the reverberation of the declaration throughout their very souls. But all you could do was mouth the words, again and again, so Hela knew that you meant them.

“I love you, too,” Hela responded, hesitating for just the slightest moment as she struck into the dirt with the shovel again. She was getting closer to being finished. Shoveling the dirt back in was going much faster than it had taken to get it out in the first place, a cruel circumstance that left Hela wishing she could drag out the ordeal as long as she could manage, if it meant that you would still be standing there, looking at her, with her.

But hadn’t she already made you suffer enough? Didn’t you deserve some peace and rest, after everything you had gone through? Wasn’t it time to finally let you go?

“I’ll never forget you,” Hela promised, holding the shovel with its last little bit of dirt above the grave but unwilling to drop it just yet. “I’ll keep you alive in every way that I couldn’t. Say your name every chance that I get, to keep you here with me.”

There was so much you still wanted to say to her, so much you wanted her to know.

But all you could do was muster your best smile as you nodded, a single tear running down your cheek and ricocheting off the collar of your gown as Hela released the last bit of soil, patting it flat as she watched your ghostly form give one last little shimmering flicker in the moonlight, and then disappear entirely.

The room was filled with hazy smoke as you looked around, trying to figure out what had happened, and you were so out of sorts with everything that it took you a moment before you realized that you were alone in your head again.

The Mind Stone had lost its hold on you, and you weren’t sure how, but you were grateful for it. Though you could tell you weren’t out of the woods just yet, given the way that your head was reeling as though it were trying to make up for the fact that it was just your consciousness in there now and not full to the brim with Thanos and all the knowledge that the Stone had brought you. Almost as though your mind thought it was missing part of itself and was suddenly collapsing under the overwhelming pressure of solitude.

You weren’t able to dwell on what that meant for much longer, though, when a guttural scream from across the room brought you back to the present, and you looked across the rubble scattered across the floor to see Thanos locked in battle with none other than Hela.

It wasn’t that you hadn’t expected to see her. There had always remained a tiny little place somewhere in the back of your mind that had believed that Hela would find you and rescue you and bring you back to safety, even though you’d been certain that Hela had far more important things to worry about than you. And then there was the fact that she had had no idea where you were or how far you’d traveled since leaving Knowhere, and you hadn’t held much real hope, despite your wishful thinking.

And yet here she was, spiked helm atop her head and cape flowing behind her as she screamed, summoning sword after sword and sending it in Thanos’ direction while he dodged and tried to get in hits with his own double-sided sword. It was all you could do, to keep yourself upright as you watched them fight, or more accurately, as you watched Hela slam weapon after weapon at Thanos, who seemed to be losing his footing rather quickly, and you selfishly waited for Hela to deal one final, life-ending blow.

It came sooner than you expected, and there was a small part of you, the part that had been aware of how horrible it felt to have a presence like Thanos in your mind, that was a little surprised that Thanos could be taken down. Yet, all it took was Hela summoning a sword so massive that you weren’t sure how she managed to hold it on her own, let alone swing it over her head and bring it down with enough force to run Thanos clean through his throat, and as he gargled on his own blood, all you could do was watch dumbly, relishing in the fact that he was getting the comeuppance he deserved.

You were so focused on watching him die that you didn’t even hear Hela calling your name or see her running toward you until she was mere feet away. Subconsciously, you shied away, still feeling more than a little unsettled from the whole ordeal with the Mind Stone, and also worried about the fact that you weren’t sure you could handle having to recharge Hela at the moment.

And then you remembered that you couldn’t do that anymore.

That Thanos had taken that from you, too.

“…Y/N?” Hela came to a halt as soon as you drew back, standing as still as a statue as she looked at you. “Y/N? Can you hear me?”

You looked at her for a long moment as your brain continued to go haywire, jumping from one thought to the next to the next, one moment fearful that Thanos wasn’t really dead, the next moment grateful that Hela was back and had found you, and the next moment guilty, as you realized that you couldn’t be of any use to Hela, anymore, either.

You didn’t even realize how long you had been standing there in complete silence, staring at Hela, until she crouched down on one knee to be more at your level, brow furrowing as she took in the state of you, gaze roving from your head and all the way down your huddled form, and you realized she was scanning you for any visible injuries.

“…Y/N? Are you with me?” Hela’s voice was the softest you’d ever heard it, of all the time you’d spent with her, and it tugged at your heartstrings in a way that made your breath catch in your throat as you nodded slowly.

Hela nodded along with you, but made no movement to get any closer to you. “Did he hurt you? Are you injured?”

You swallowed thickly, and made a gesture toward the back of your head. “…I hit my head when the ship… when you… hit it? Did you hit it?” That wasn’t necessarily a question that you needed an answer to direly, but it was one of the only things you could get your mind to focus on, so it was what came out.

“Something like that.” Hela shrugged a shoulder, clearly a little confused at your line of questioning. She hesitated for a long moment, gaze lingering on your face, and you realized what she was about to ask seconds before she did. “Is he… are you still under…?”

You shook your head firmly, ignoring the way it made you feel woozy and disoriented. “No. I think I must’ve… when I hit my head it… sort of… reset me, in a way. I don’t know. It was gone before you… killed him, so… I can’t think of any other explanation. That was the only thing that happened between then and now.”

Hela said nothing for a long moment, and her gaze on you felt heavy and unbearable, and the look in her eyes, that pity mixed with fear and anger and happiness all at once, made the reality of everything all the more tangible, and you struggled against the urge to start crying.

Hela, always so perceptive, seemed to pick up on this immediately, and pressed her lips together, expression settling into something a little more firm as she pushed herself to stand and crossed the remaining distance between you. You couldn’t even find it in you to worry about telling her about your powers. Not when you felt like the littlest movement was going to cause you to pass out or maybe sleep forever or… No. You couldn’t think like that.

No matter how exhausted you felt, no matter what your brain decided to focus on, no matter how the lack of your powers was going to change things for you and for Hela, you couldn’t let this be it for you. Not after she had come back for you.

Not when you had so much you needed to say to her.

As Hela picked you up effortlessly, you kept careful watch over her expression, looking for the slightest twitch of her lips or dart of her eyes that would give away the fact that she had realized you weren’t using your powers on her. But Hela’s face remained neutral, save for the slight furrow of her brow which, you quickly realized, was due to the physical state of you and likely wouldn’t change any time soon.

Your absolute exhaustion soon got the better of you, and you let your eyes close, laying your head against her shoulder as she shifted you to be more comfortable. The kiss she pressed to your forehead was so light that you weren’t sure it wasn’t entirely in your head, but the gentleness in her voice when she spoke again made it a little easier to believe.

“Let’s go home.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You woke with a start, the last wisps of a nightmare disappearing as soon as you wrenched your eyes open, but you couldn’t remember a single detail of what you’d dreamt about. Well, nothing more than that feeling of having something and someone inside your head. Exhausted and drained as you still were, as your eyes came into focus a little better and the dull ache in your head returned, you couldn’t make yourself move a muscle. The bed was so soft and the blankets were tucked around you, and you were so warm that you considered letting yourself drift back off to sleep again.

Until you felt something tighten around your waist and, after a quick glance, realized that you weren’t going anywhere anytime soon.

Hela’s arm was draped loosely over your waist in a way that felt possessive and yet… comfortable. Right. Like it was meant to be, the two of you curled up, sharing the same space together.

You spared a brief glance over your shoulder, and found that Hela was asleep. Or, more likely, was pretending very well to be asleep, eyes closed and chest rising and falling slowly. There was no way that your startled awakening hadn’t also woken her up, as well. But as she remained there, expression peaceful and gentle, you found yourself absolutely mesmerized, and carefully, bit by bit, you inched yourself around until you were facing her, hardly but a few inches between you as you looked up at her, taking in everything about her as though this would be the only chance you’d ever have. There was a part of you that thought that might be the case, once Hela found out that your powers were gone and you wouldn’t be of use to her for any longer. A thought that made your heart ache in a way you couldn’t wrap your mind around.

“You’re staring, darling.” Hela’s voice was soft, and she was close enough that you could feel the warmth of her breath as you smiled, remembering a time not so long ago when she had said the same thing to you when she’d been keeping you in the cell.

“Sorry,” you whispered, surprisingly not shying away in the least when Hela opened her eyes to look at you, holding your gaze with an undecipherable expression before she, too, smiled gently.

“I didn’t say you had to stop.” Hela’s voice was still light, but there was an edge to it that felt intoxicating and dizzying.

You said nothing in response to that, and Hela continued to look at you, with that uncharacteristic gentleness that felt so unlike her that it made your head spin.

“Bad dream?” Hela’s voice remained light, but there was a hint of concern in it, and as she waited for you to answer, she ran her thumb up and down your side and you tried not to let yourself get distracted by it.

Uncertain that you could trust yourself to speak just yet, you nodded in response, hoping that that would be a good enough answer for Hela, whose expression became a little more apologetic as she forced out a grimace of a smile.

“I’m sorry. I wish that I could make it all better. And I wish I could tell you that it will get better, but… well, an Infinity Stone is a terribly powerful item to deal with, and you’ve just had it in your mind for a few days. It’ll take time to sort yourself out. A lot of it, I wager, but…” Hela trailed off, and it was at this moment that you realized just how much things had changed between you.

Just how much Hela had changed, since you’d first met her.

You had so much you wanted to tell her. Needed to tell her. Before it was too late.

Sensing that you wanted to speak, Hela shifted a little, arm slipping from its place around your waist to instead settle on the bed, her fingers closing around your wrist as she propped herself up with her other arm.

You swallowed thickly, realizing that you couldn’t run any longer.

Easiest confession first, then.

Though you weren’t entirely sure easy was the best way to describe admitting to Hela that your powers were gone, yet it still seemed like an easier conversation to handle than your feelings for her. In fact, she likely already knew, given her close proximity and the fact that she had always been able to easily pick up on your powers.

“Hela, I…” you began all the same, voice catching in your throat, so you tried again after another moment of silence. “Hela, my powers are gone. I-I can’t… It was nonstop, on Thanos’ ship, and I’d already been feeling like something was off, and I just… I don’t know. B-But I know that means I’m not of use to you anymore, and I understand that that means you won’t want to keep me around anymore, because… I mean, what use am I to you, when the only reason you kept me to begin with was so that I could help you, and now I can’t, and I’m sorry, I’m really, really sorry. I wish I could fix this. I wish I could go back in time and do everything differently, and I-”

Of all the things you had expected Hela to say or to do, stopping you mid-sentence by pressing a kiss to your lips was the absolute furthest possibility you’d counted on, and you were so shocked by the action that, for a solid few moments, you didn’t even more or close your eyes.

And then reality seemed to catch up with you all at once, and you allowed yourself to melt into her embrace more than you already had, pressing as close as your body could get and letting a hand reach up to cup her face, fingers brushing against her cheek.

You kissed her and kissed her and kissed her, reveling in the feeling of her body pressed so closely to yours, of the feel of her fingers threaded in your hair and her soft skin against the palm of your hand. It was all so much, and so unexpected, and despite the feeling of wanting to get lost in Hela for the rest of forever, you made yourself draw back.

Before you could even open your mouth to start asking the plethora of questions that were now at the forefront of your mind, Hela shook her head.

“I don’t care. I don’t care about your powers. I don’t care about any of that. I just want you.” Hela spoke with an earnestness that felt out of character, and a desperation that made your heart skip a beat.

“…I’m just a girl. You’re a princess… a Goddess. And you’ll be Queen one day, and you’ll have a kingdom to rule and realms to watch over. And I’ll… I’m nothing to you now.”

Again, Hela shook her head, and cupped your face with both of her hands, drawing you to meet her gaze as she spoke. “You are everything to me. Now and always. I don’t care if you can’t use your powers anymore. I don’t care that you’re ‘just a girl.’ You are mine. In a way that I’ve never been able to understand the want for, until now. Until you.” She gave a soft little laugh, thumbs caressing your face gently. “I used to think that I would never need anything or anyone else in my life. That it would always be me against the world, in battle and in life and in all ways that could ever exist. And then I met you, and suddenly… Suddenly, none of that matters anymore. None of it matters, if you aren’t right there at my side all the while.”

Your brow furrowed as you kept looking at her, struggling not to feel shy under the intensity of her gaze or her words. “What about the Stones? You were so close, to having some of them. And I know where the Soul Stone is now, it’s on Vormir.”

“And it will stay there.” Hela pressed her lips together, seeming to gather her thoughts before she began to speak. “…when I saw what that Stone did to you. When I realized what Thanos was willing to do, just to get another one… I saw my future. And I didn’t like it anymore. I didn’t want to become what he had, a mindless creature after more power than one person could ever truly need. And I knew that nothing was ever going to be as important as you, after that. You and your safety… That was my endgame. I couldn’t focus on anything else. I just needed you safe and with me.”

You swallowed thickly, taking in everything that Hela had said since you’d woken up. You still found it hard to believe, that a force like Hela could suddenly throw everything that she had worked toward away. That Hela could suddenly care about one thing and one thing only, and that one thing being you. It was unexpected and confusing and it was everything. To know that she wanted you in the same way that you wanted her.

In the same way you’d still yet to tell her that you wanted her.

“…You’re all I want, too. I think I came to that conclusion just a little bit before you did, I just… Well, I got a little preoccupied there, for a while.” You tried to laugh, but the sound came out weak and forced, and you realized that you were on the verge of tears, though you were unsure whether it was from the whirlwind of emotions due to Hela’s confession, exhaustion, or the residual trauma from everything that had happened with Thanos, and before you knew it, you had begun to cry, averting your gaze in a meager attempt to hide yourself from Hela.

Hela said nothing, pulling you back into her arms and holding you close as you began to weep, letting one hand run through your hair as she kissed the top of your head. “You’ve been through so much, in so little time. Not just with the Stones, but with me, too. I’ve really put you through the wringer, and I’m so sorry that I let my want for power get the better of me and worse, put your life at risk. And I hope that one day I can make it up to you.”

“You already have,” you whispered, voice still thick with tears as you tilted your head back to look up at her. “And there’s nothing to forgive, anyway. You’re… a future Queen. You have… had... an agenda, and it was never any of my business, whether I was involved or not.” You hesitated a moment, inhaling slowly. “But Hela… Others will come along, wanting the same power that you sought out, that Thanos was close to getting. We can’t let that happen.”

“And we won’t. We’ll keep watch over them, from a distance. And we’ll keep the Stones separate from each other. The Soul Stone is on Vormir, the Tesseract is on Midgard. Reality, Power, and Time are lost, as far as we know. And Mind…” She looked across the room and you followed her gaze to find the golden scepter placed among Hela’s small armory, the Stone contained within still glowing bright. You couldn’t help but to feel a little wary of the item, and you shivered. “…we’ll take it back to Asgard with us. And we’ll place it in the vaults and no one can ever use it to hurt you again.”

You nodded slowly as you turned back to look at Hela, thoughts still a little distant as you remembered what it had been like to be under the Stone’s control. “I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. At first, I thought my head might explode, with the feel of just… suddenly knowing so much, and also knowing that Thanos could essentially hear what I was thinking at any given moment… It was the strangest thing I’ve ever experienced, and I still feel… off. Like I’m not quite right, even with it no longer in my head.”

“Unfortunately, you might remain that way for a while. As I said, the Stones are powerful, even after they’re no longer in use. But it’ll get better, in time. You’ll get better. I’ll make sure of it.” Hela pressed another kiss to your forehead and you nodded again, closing your eyes as you let the warmth of her proximity wash over you.

Before, when you’d had your powers, anytime you were close to someone, it had always come with the small price of discomfort from your energy being used to recharge them, no matter if it was someone you cared about or not. That dull little tug had always been there, no matter who you’d been within touching distance of, and to now get to exist without that feeling, without that weight to inhibit everything you felt… It was going to be an entire new world of experiences. You’d never not had your powers, which meant that you’d have to get used to not having your powers. You’d be able to feel anything and everything without the unintentional filter your powers had always given you. And as exciting as that was, it was a little daunting.

“What are you thinking about?” Hela’s soft voice brought you out of your silent musing, and you let your gaze slide back into focus, the corner of your lips quirking up into a smile.

“How I’ve never been able to feel like this before.”

Hela’s brow furrowed at that, and you could tell she was waiting for you to explain further, and so you did, with a soft little laugh.

“I’ve never not had my powers, so the feel of having them has always been there. Second nature, always a part of me, no matter if I wanted them to be or not. And because of that, any time I’ve ever been close to anyone, let alone touch them or… lay with them, like this… there’s always been this little pull. A reminder that my powers were being used at all times. And now… Well, there’s no powers to be used, so I’m feeling everything more… fully.”

Hela smiled softly, bringing a hand up to brush your hair away from your eyes and letting her fingers linger there, threaded in the strands as she looked at you. “That must be a very new, very weird experience for you.”

You couldn’t help but to laugh softly. “Yes, it’s very weird. I’ll have to get used to it. To feeling everything and to not having my powers any longer. It’ll take some time, I think.”

Hela hummed softly, letting her fingers slide from their place in your hair to rest back at your waist again, and you gave a content little sigh.

“Everything’s going to be different now. For both of us.”

Hela nodded slowly, her own lips twisting to the side as she considered that thought. “Well, at least we get to do it together. That’ll be fun.”

You smiled a little more, huffing out a soft laugh. “Tell me about Asgard.”

Hela laughed softly, turning to lay on her back, and you did the same, looking at her even though she was focused on the ceiling. “It’s beautiful. Golden and grand and mighty.”

“You’ll show me around?”

“Everywhere. All my favorite places. We’ll get lost in the markets and the fields, and I’ll show you my favorite little secret spots hidden away in the royal gardens. And I’ll take you to the water and we’ll swim.”

You felt your cheeks warm with embarrassment. “I don’t know how.”

“I’ll teach you.” Hela turned her head to look at you, her light grip on your wrist shifting so that she could thread her fingers with yours. “I’ll teach you everything you’ve never known. And I’ll teach you how to be a princess and, in time, a Queen.”

You smiled softly, even as you felt your heart sink at the potential possibilities the future held. “What will the people think of me?”

“I don’t give a care in Hel what the people think of you. You are mine, and you will be theirs, whether they like it or not. It’s that simple.”

You hummed softly, feeling like there was a plethora of things you could, and wanted, to say to that, but you didn’t want to fight. Didn’t want to put a damper on the comfortable feeling that had settled around the both of you, as you lay there together in Hela’s bed.

“You’re sure that this is what you want?” You couldn’t help but to pose the question one more time. It was not lost on you, how much of a limb Hela was going out onto in order to keep you with her. “I might take some work.”

“I’m willing to put in the effort.” She brought your hand to her lips, pressing a gentle kiss along the ridges of your knuckles. “If you’re willing to do the same, for me.”

“Of course I am.” The statement came without trouble. You meant it, and you hoped that Hela knew just how much that you did.

“Then there’s nothing else to worry about, is there?” Hela murmured, reaching her free hand up to brush your hair out of your eyes as she looked at you, with so much love that you almost felt as though you could feel the very power of it warming you to your very core.

“No,” you agreed, pressing your forehead against hers as you curled yourself closer to her. “There isn’t.”

And as you lay there with her, thinking over everything that had happened over the course of your time with Hela, all you could think about was that, while you’d lost your powers and everything that had made you you while you’d had them, perhaps it had been worth it, to gain the knowledge that you were loved and that you had love to give in return.

Which wasn’t a difficult thing to do when that simply meant becoming little more than an ornament decorating Thanos’ throne room on his ship, placed strategically so that both he and any of his so-called Children, as you’d learned they were known as, could benefit from your power at any given time.

The small part of you that was still you wanted to scream and fight and figure out how to get out of there. Wanted to break the chains that Thanos had placed around your mind and come back to yourself so that you, in turn, could get back to Hela.

Hela.

Who had sounded more frightened than you had ever heard her sound, after Thanos had touched you with the scepter and taken over your mind.

Hela.

Who had looked at you with an expression that had been easy to register, with the Stone’s all-encompassing knowledge, but harder to comprehend why it had been directed at you.

Hela.

Who had been left in the crumbling walls and dust of the Collector’s tower as you had walked away with Thanos, never turning back once to look at her.

The part of you that wasn’t you had made that easy. Easier than you wanted to admit. Since it had been Thanos who had wielded the Mind Stone on you, it was Thanos’ voice you heard in your head. Guiding you, instructing you. Assuring you that whatever you’d had with Hela was of little importance now, because you were going to be helping the entire universe.

And you’d believed him.

Really, you’d had no choice but to. Still You was becoming harder and harder to hear in your mind, when you had so much to know and to hear from the Stone and from Thanos. Still You was hardly a whisper now, above the roar of overwhelming cognizance.

“You’re sure that Hela didn’t have any of the Stones yet?”

Thanos’ deep, drawling voice drew you back to awareness as you obediently turned your head to look at him, nodding.

“I already told you all that I know of them, which is precious little. She refused to tell me anything. All I saw was a glimpse of a drawing of the six of them. I didn’t even know what they were, at the time. She mentioned only that she was hunting for them.”

“And she was on Knowhere for the same reason that we were?”

You nodded again. “Yes. She was under the impression that Tivan knew where the Soul Stone was. I don’t know how. She was reluctant to tell me anything that she felt I had no business knowing of.”

Thanos considered that for a moment. “Well, I suppose now it is your business. You’ll be accompanying us while we search for the Soul Stone, as well as the others. We know Space is on Terra, as Hela mentioned.”

“The Tesseract,” you filled in, though you really didn’t need to. Even with the Stone’s knowledge, you were the least informed in the room. No doubt, by Thanos’ own intention. There was something he wasn’t saying, and it simply wasn’t your place to know. Just like things had been with Hela.

“As for Power, Time, and Reality… Those we’ve still yet to track down. But we’re getting closer. Perhaps now that you’re here, we can finish that up and gather them all, fulfilling my destiny to restore balance throughout the entirety of the universe.”

You said nothing to that; there was nothing for you to say. Despite the mind control, and the convenience your power provided him with, you were still little more than a pawn while Thanos aimed for a checkmate against the universe as a whole, and you were all too aware of that.

The quiet hiss of a door sliding open brought your attention to the entrance to the throne room, where you saw two of Thanos’ Children, the woman from before and another man, with graying hair and spindly fingers that were threaded together as he walked with his hands clasped together. As they both drew nearer to you, you could feel more of your energy being leached off of you, now being used by all three of the other members in the room, and you tried to ignore the weird tug in the pit of your stomach that had started to develop since you’d arrived, and that only seemed to be getting worse.

In the two days since you’d boarded the Sanctuary, you had been of constant use to re-energize Thanos and the others. Even when he had retired for the night, his Children seemed to take turns guarding the throne, where the scepter was left under strict watch. Which meant that you did not have a break to re-energize yourself, and given that you were in deep space and without a sun in sight, the fear of your powers fizzling out for good had returned. Not that you could ever relay that information to Thanos. As it was, you felt grossly out of your depth, dealing with the Stones. If he were to realize that you were of no further use to him, there was no telling what he would do with you.

While he was still distracted by his discussion with the others, you closed your eyes, and tried your hardest to push your will against the all-encompassing control of the Stone, urging something in you to take back the reins and fight back until it was just you again. No Stone, no Thanos, no presence in the forefront of your mind that seemed to be fighting back just as hard as you were.

Just you.

Despite the fact that you were exerting no physical effort whatsoever, you found yourself panting from the struggle, trying desperately to keep quiet so as not to draw attention to yourself as you felt the Stone fully wash back over your mind again, subduing you once again.

“…lasted a lot longer than I thought he would,” Thanos’ voice floated back into your awareness, and you made yourself tune in to the rest of the conversation, turning to watch him as he waved a hand dismissively. “Kill him. We got what we needed from him. Maw, redirect us to Vormir, at full speed.”

“Yes, Sire.”

Both of his Children bowed, and then took their leave, and you couldn’t help but to feel the slightest bit of relief now that you were back to only energizing Thanos. Even if you felt like you were going to collapse at any moment.

“Vormir?” You asked, turning to look at him. You hoped you didn’t look as guilty as you felt for trying to break free from his control.

“Yes. According to Tivan, that’s where the Soul Stone lays. I can’t believe that sliver of a man held up to over twenty-four hours of torture to get it out of him. I would have thought he’d have folded much more easily. Shame.”

You declined to comment on that, realizing not for the first time that your presence here, on this ship and alive, could be taken from you at any moment, for any reason. If you so much as said or did the wrong thing, everything would be over. No finding the rest of the Stones, no getting away from Thanos.

No seeing Hela ever again.

And it was that thought, despite everything, that was getting you through this. Despite everything Thanos and the Mind Stone was telling you, promising you, you found yourself still going back to Hela in what was left of your own mind. Found yourself wishing that you were back on her ship, in her quarters, listening to her talk about the minute details that went into planning battles or how she had terrorized her parents as a child while she gently braided your hair. You would give anything to go back in time and re-do everything that you had done in the Collector’s tower. You would never have put yourself between Hela and Thanos, would never have tempted fate by speaking on things you knew little about.

But if you could just figure out how to break free from the Stone, you could at least try. You could find an escape vessel, get back to Knowhere and find Hela and make sure that she was okay after everything that had happened. Perhaps you’d even find it in you to admit to Hela how you had started to feel about her, even though you knew that nothing could ever come from the admittance.

Even though you knew that you could never come between Hela and her desire for power.

Sparing a glance at Thanos to make sure he was still preoccupied with something else, you closed your eyes again, putting every ounce of focus you could into your own consciousness as you struggled with the Stone’s rooted deep in your mind, holding on to your thoughts and your memories with such strength that it felt as though it had been embedded in the very fabric of your existence, threaded with each and every thought and memory and idea in your mind until it was hard to tell what was still you and what was the Stone now. You could feel it tugging and pulling and fighting back, and it only made you want to fight back even more as you fought to regain control of yourself. You felt the pit in your stomach give another gut-wrenching tug that almost knocked the wind out of you, and for a terrifying moment, you felt that horrible flicker again, for longer than you’d ever felt it. You tried to ignore it, and steeled yourself to keep fighting against the Stone’s control.

And then all of a sudden, your mind cleared itself of its own accord, as though a switch had been flipped and all that remained was a blank space for the Stone and Thanos to use to their advantage.

You’d been caught.

And there was no telling what the punishment was going to be.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Thanos’ voice was collected and even, and it scared you far more than you had the words for.

You swallowed thickly, even as you turned to look at him with as much innocence as you could muster, hoping that, despite his presence in your mind, you’d be able to concoct a convincing lie.

“…I don’t… know what happened,” you tried, making your brow furrow. “I think… I thought about Hela again, and there was a little part of me, despite myself, that tried to… come back. Fight back.” Imbuing your lie with a little bit of the truth seemed like a good way to sound honest, and you hoped that it would work.

“I thought I told you you didn’t have to worry about her anymore?” If Thanos suspected anything, he didn’t outwardly show it. It was hard to decipher what he was feeling, when his voice was so eerily calm, balanced in a way that felt threatening and dangerous.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me. I’ll… I’m trying to be better.” You bowed your head, playing up your innocence to the best of your ability, and with the way your power was being drained and leaving you hardly able to keep yourself up, you thought you might actually look convincing.

“If that were true, you wouldn’t be trying to lie to me.”

In an instant, Thanos’ voice had gone from calm to deadly, laced with promising threat.

Your blood ran cold.

“Have you forgotten that with the power of the Stone, I’m present in your mind, whether you like it or not? You’re foolish to think that someone like you could overpower an Infinity Stone. Your power may be helpful, but it’s no match against magic like that.”

You took a shaky breath, nodding to yourself as you gathered every ounce of your courage, trying to ignore the Stone attempting to keep your mind at bay and your body subdued. “I’m stronger than you think. And I’m not scared of you.” You lifted your chin high, even as you trembled from the effort of it. The pit in your stomach had begun to spread, and you could feel a hollow numbness in its place, coiling and seeping outward as Thanos took a step toward you. If this was how you were going to go out, it wasn’t going to be without a fight. “Hela’s going to find you. Even when you kill me, Hela’s going to find you, and she’s going to massacre you with a smile on her face all the while, and gods, I wish I could be there to witness it.”

Thanos sneered, looking more self-satisfactory than anything else, and before you could say or do anything else, he had grabbed you by the forearm and hauled you up.

But the direct contact was the catalyst for the numbness that had started to leak to the rest of your body. And with the touch, it felt as though you had been snapped in two, but not your body. Your being. You felt the numbness surge throughout the rest of your body, encompassing every nerve-ending and cell until you felt your power fizzle out with one last little flicker of your powers. You fought the urge to crumble under the sudden hollowness left within your body, but Thanos’ grip on your arm was strong enough to keep you upright, even as you felt yourself wilting from the effort of it.

Thanos seemed to realize what had happened shortly after you did, and an unreadable expression crossed his face for just a second before he nodded, almost regretfully.

“Well, I suppose there really is no need for you now.”

You exhaled heavily, steeling yourself as you looked up at him, ready to face whatever was going to come next.

And it wasn’t to say that you’d had no idea what was going on with you. It was just that you’d been a little surprised at the likelihood of what was going on with you.

It was no secret that pregnancy on Asgard was different than you’d read about in other realms and star systems. While it seemed to only be possible between certain people biologically elsewhere, on Asgard it was an entirely different process that relied not on certain necessities between two people, but rather the seidr that each held within their person. It was something that was simply known on Asgard, and precautions were taken accordingly.

Except, perhaps, you and Hela hadn’t been as careful as you should have been, you had begun to realize as you’d sought out the healers for a more direct diagnosis. And when they had confirmed that you were, indeed, with child, rather than go straight to Hela to let her know, you’d gone to your chambers to come to terms with everything first before telling her.

It wasn’t necessarily a terrible thing, if you were pregnant. After all, you and Hela had been together for many years, properly courting and then marrying just over a year ago, so it wasn’t as though you would have no support system whatsoever. It was just that you weren’t sure if that was what Hela wanted. She was in line to become Queen one day, and while it didn’t seem that she would be taking over the throne any time soon, you knew that one day she would, and it would take up much of her time. And a baby thrown in in the middle of that could be a distraction Hela wouldn’t want just yet, despite her current position in waiting to step into her power.

But hiding it from her simply was out of the question, and you knew that, even as you continued to pace around your room. Even if you wanted to keep it from her as long as possible, she’d find out eventually, and the idea of her not knowing from the beginning and possibly being hurt or worse that you hadn’t confided in her could lead to an entire series of events that you couldn’t even begin to imagine, let alone want to go through.

No, you needed to tell Hela.

Today.

You just needed a little time to process first.

Your pacing was drawn to an immediate halt when not five seconds later, you heard a knock at your door, gentle but with a firmness that let you know it was important.

“Y/N?”

Well, it seemed your time to process was up already.

You took a slow, deep breath and crossed over to the door, opening it with a smile that came more easily than you thought it would.

“Can I come in?” Hela was always so formal with you, despite the fact that it was her room, too. But it was endearing, you supposed, to know Hela respected your privacy even in your shared chambers.

“Of course you can.” You stepped back a bit so she could make her way in, and closed the door behind her, leaning back against it as she turned to face you.

“I was told you went to the healers this morning. Is everything alright? Are you ill?” She reached forward to take your hands in both of hers, and you softened at the gentle expression of concern that had taken over her features.

“I’m fine. Really.” You took another deep breath, exhaling slowly before continuing. “But… there is something I need to tell you.”

Hela’s expression became a little more serious, and she nodded, leading you over to the bed and sitting down with you, her gaze never leaving yours as she waited for you to speak.

There was really no reason to beat around the bush any further, and without any way other way to do it, you simply came out and said it.

“Hela, I’m with child.”

Hela blinked once, expression remaining entirely neutral for a split second.

And then she smiled.

“Y/N, that’s wonderful news!”

It was your turn to blink dumbly as you looked at her. “…it is?”

She looked at you for a moment, expression growing serious again. “Well, I think it is. But if you don’t, that’s okay, too, and we can… talk about your options.”

“No, I… it isn’t that. It isn’t that I don’t think it’s wonderful news. It’s just… well, it’s life-changing a bit, wouldn’t you say?” Now that the truth was out, and you could be open about it, you were overwhelmed with the reality of the situation.

“Of course it is. And it will take a lot of work, from the both of us, to be ready and to have everything ready. But Y/N… I need you to know that you don’t have to be frightened. And if there was something I said or did to make you worry about you telling me this news, please tell me.”

You shook your head a bit, squeezing her hands gently. “I just… I didn’t know if this was something that you’d… want. With you in line to become Queen, and all the work that would come with that. I didn’t want to take away from your preparation.”

Hela softened again, bringing a hand up to cup your face gently so that you were looking directly at her. “Y/N, nothing could ever make me not want to do this with you. Not anything. And perhaps it’s a little sooner than either of us imagined it happening, but that doesn’t make me any less happy, and it doesn’t make me love you any less than I do. Nothing could ever change that. Do you understand me? Nothing.”

You nodded, feeling a weight lift from your chest, and you smiled softly.

“…thank you. I really needed to hear that. And I’m happy to do this with you, too. No matter how… crazy it all gets. We’re in this together. You and me.”

Hela smiled softly. “You and me.” And she reached down to place a gentle hand on your stomach. “And the little one, too.”

For a long moment, there was nothing but silence, as everyone in the room seemed to be sizing each other up, save for Tivan, who seemed much more interested in seeing how this was going to play out right in front of him rather than getting involved in any way.

“You’re a long way from home, Asgardian.” The purple alien from before spoke, and you felt yourself shy away reflexively simply from the way he carried himself, as though he was the greatest thing to ever exist and everyone else should know this and respond in kind. You felt Hela’s grip tighten even further around your wrist. Despite the fact she wasn’t showing it, you knew she was just as on edge, if not more, than you were.

“That’s princess to you. Really, it’s Goddess, but you knew that already, didn’t you? Mad Titan.”

If the alien was surprised that she seemed to know who he was, he didn’t outwardly show it, even as he nodded slightly. “It seems we both know each other, then.”

“And are both after the same thing, as it were.” It was only as Hela said this that you looked more closely at the golden gauntlet that was encompassing his left hand, upon which you could see there were six little indentations on it, as though something were meant to be inlaid in each of them.

Six.

Like the drawings of those stones that Hela had mentioned she was looking for.

“Well, it seems only one of us actually possesses one. As it were.”

Your brow furrowed at his statement. Things were slowly starting to click into place in your mind, but you’d already taken note of the fact that his gauntlet held nothing in the insets made for the stones. Which meant he was either bluffing, or had the stone somewhere else. Perhaps somewhere a little safer than keeping it on him while he hunted for the others.

But to your surprise, he reached out to one of the members of his group, a creature with blue hair and two jet-black horns protruding from her head. She passed him a golden staff that was more than half her size, jagged and curved at the top and fitted with an orb that glowed blue, casting a faint, eerie light around it that made you feel off in a way you couldn’t quite understand or comprehend.

You felt Hela tense a little as he raised it, perhaps in preparation for an attack using the scepter or to ready herself to throw her already summoned weapon at him at a moment’s notice. Her grip around your wrist tightened further still, fingertips pressed firmly against your skin, and you swallowed thickly as you waited for something to happen or for the towering alien to say something.

Instead, the Collector, who you had completely forgotten was still in the room with you, made a strangled noise somewhere between fear and admiration, and everyone in the room turned to look at him.

“Almighty Thanos, you simply must tell me how you came into the possession of the Mind Stone.”

Thanos narrowed his eyes, and the Collector seemed to realize his mistake almost immediately, taking a regretful step back.

“Perhaps another time.” The calm answer would have felt less like a threat, if it hadn’t been paired with a sudden blast from the scepter, which hit Tivan and sent him tumbling to the floor in a crumpled little pile. You couldn’t tell if he was breathing.

And that made the situation all the more real.

And terrifying.

You were close enough to Hela that you could both feel and hear her breath catch as she watched the Collector lay motionless on the floor, her grip shifting around your wrist, nails digging into your skin in a way that should have hurt, but you were much too nervous to feel anything other than an overwhelming sense of dread. You couldn’t even feel yourself being drained from Hela touching you.

You allowed your gaze to linger on Hela’s face for a moment, trying to gauge how she was feeling by her expression, but she was as cool and composed as you’d ever seen, despite how tightly she was holding you and how quickly you could feel her heart beating with her back pressed against you due to your close proximity. However threatened she was feeling, she refused to show it.

“We have the Tesseract,” Hela stated firmly, with an air of confidence that left you cutting your eyes back to Thanos to see how well he handled the information.

He laughed.

A short, abrupt sound that sent a shiver down your spine.

“No. Asgard used to have the Tesseract. Your father sent it to the Terrans to keep track of. Not his smartest move.”

You glanced back at Hela in time to see her roll her eyes, and you would have smiled at the familiar gesture if you hadn’t felt like your heart was going to beat right out of your chest from sheer anxiety. “It’s safest with those that don’t know how to use it.”

“And much easier to get to. Thank your father for that, the next time you see him.”

Hela only scowled, clenching her jaw shut tightly as she glared at him.

Thanos seemed to be taking this momentary silence to study Hela appraisingly, and despite the fact that he wasn’t looking at you, you couldn’t help but to feel uncomfortable, shifting uneasily behind Hela, who smoothed her thumb against your wrist in a gesture that made your heart skip a beat, even as you kept your gaze on the alien towering over the both of you.

“You know, seeing as we both want the same thing, wouldn’t it make things all the more easy if we were to simply work as a team? Divide and conquer. Gather all the Stones quicker.”

Hela gave a scoff, and let go of your hand so that she could place a hand on her hip, fixing him with a gaze that you knew was meant to intimidate. You found yourself missing the feel of her hand immediately, and subsequently tried not to show it as you kept yourself positioned behind Hela so as to keep attention off of yourself.

“And why would I want to work with a Titan who believes that mass genocide is the answer to the universe’s problems?”

“Isn’t that what you do?” Thanos said the phrase flippantly, and the room was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop to the floor as Hela seethed, and this time you put your hand on her shoulder in an attempt to calm her before she said or did something rash.

“There’s a difference between conquering realms for their own good and murdering people for the sake of some fabled greater good.”

“The greater good is their own good.”

Hela made a disgruntled sound of disbelief. “Is it? Or is it just yours?”

Thanos said nothing to that, and was silent for so long that you were a little worried he was considering how he was going to kill her.

And then he looked at you.

“And what do you think?”

Before you could even answer, Hela stepped more directly in front of you, so that you were now entirely hidden from his gaze, her arm coming back around to shield you.

“She isn’t part of this conversation.”

“She’s present.”

“…She’s only a servant.”

The words cut you more than you wanted to admit, even though you knew she was trying to minimize your importance in whatever way she could to ensure your safety.

“And I’m speaking to her.”

As much as you knew Hela wanted to keep you protected, you feared that if she kept at it, she would get herself or the both of you killed, so you let your hand fall to squeeze hers gently before moving to step around her. Her grip lingered on your hand, and you wanted nothing more than to keep holding it for as long as she would let you, but instead you dropped it as you stepped completely in front of her, at a distance from her, but closer to her than to Thanos. You refused to put any more space between you and Hela than that. As it was, you were risking getting close enough for him to notice your powers.

As he continued to look at you with a sort of hardened curiosity, you realized he was still expecting an answer from you, and you swallowed thickly, holding your head high as you spoke. “I think that I do not have the knowledge to provide you with the answer that you seek, and therefore should say nothing on the matter.” An answer, but not what he would want to hear, and everyone in the room knew it.

“You’re interesting. Not Asgardian, like her. Somewhere else. Where?”

You hesitated, for only a moment. “Thuvria.”

“Let me guess, she conquered your planet and killed everyone there and kept you on… for what?”

You tried to keep your expression blank, despite the fact that you felt as though your heart was going to pound right out of your chest. You had to be careful with how you answered that. One wrong move, and everything was going to go horribly, completely wrong.

“I don’t know.”

“I don’t buy that.”

“Perhaps I was just in need of a servant and knew she could get the job done,” Hela piped up from behind you, and you knew her well enough by now to hear the slightest edge of fear in her voice. It stood out because you’d never heard her sound scared at all, and here she was, scared for you.

“Perhaps you were. Or perhaps neither of you are being very truthful with me.”

You opened your mouth to speak, but Thanos moved before you could, and suddenly the scepter that he still had in his hand was pressed against your chest, and for a fleeting instant, your entire body froze as you expected to feel the sharp edge of it pierce through your clothing and straight through your heart.

Instead, the next moment your entire mind had thrummed to life. Though, you supposed, it wasn’t really your mind. Not anymore. Not entirely. You could still feel the ghost of yourself, of your inner dialogue and thoughts and everything that made you you, but there was… more. Something else. Like a hand pressed to the small of your back guiding you in the direction it wanted you to go, and the direction was Thanos.

Somewhere behind you, you heard Hela make a noise of distress, but you couldn’t find it in you to be that worried about it. You wanted to be worried about it. The small part of you that was still you felt like it was clawing at the rest of you that wasn’t you, trying to get enough control back so that you could turn around and look at her. With the way the rest of Thanos’ entourage had raised their weapons and pointed them behind you, you knew somewhere in there that Hela must have tried to move forward or maybe reach for you, and that they must have stopped her before she could get any further. You looked back at Thanos in time to see him nod slightly.

“There we are. Let’s try this again. What’s your name and where are you from?”

“I’m Y/N. And I’m from Thuvria.” The words came easily. With whatever else that was now taking the reins in your head, there wasn’t enough of you to give any further resistance. In fact, there was a part of you that seemed to know that even if you tried to resist, it wouldn’t go well for you and should be avoided at all costs. It was like you knew all the possible outcomes before they could even happen. Like you knew what needed to be said and done in order to remain alive.

“Tell me how you came to be in the Asgardian’s possession.”

“Y/N-” Hela started, but both you and Thanos spoke over her, voices overlapping.

“I’m not talking to you.”

“My mother told her about my powers and how she could use them to her advantage.”

Thanos seemed to perk up a little at that, giving you his full attention. “And what exactly are your powers?”

“I energize people. Recharge them, so they can be at the best of their abilities at all times.” As you spoke, you moved forward, so that you were close enough that you could feel the slow drain of energy start up as you stepped toward him.

Again, Thanos nodded slowly, considering you for a moment. “A very useful power, indeed. I can see why she’d keep you around. But you don’t have to worry about her anymore. You’ll be coming with me now.”

You wanted to say no. Wanted to scream and kick and fight and run the other direction and let Hela take care of him.

But you were not in charge anymore.

You weren’t you anymore.

And you only nodded, taking another step forward, and another, and another, until you were standing behind him, and you turned back around and, for the first time since the Mind Stone had touched you, looked at Hela.

She looked horrified, and scared, and there was a look in her eyes that you didn’t recognize, even with the enhanced knowledge that the Stone had given you, and you tilted your head as you watched her, brow furrowing.

“You don’t have to worry about her anymore, little one,” Thanos reiterated, putting a hand on your shoulder. “She can’t hurt you anymore.”

“Y/N…” Hela’s voice was soft, a mere whisper as she attempted to plead with you, and for a split second, you felt the Stone falter, and you came crashing back to yourself at the sound of your name, at the way her eyes had softened in her fear for whatever was going to happen to you. You tried to say her name, but all you could get out was a strangled little whimper. And then the moment was over, and you felt that eerie calm settle back over you as you let yourself be guided to turn around to walk with the rest of the group.

“Good luck looking for those Stones, Hela,” Thanos taunted, and you glanced back to see him hit Hela with a blast from the scepter, and she slammed back against the wall, with enough force that it crumbled and broke into pieces that came falling around her, hiding her from view.

You weren’t entirely sure what had gone wrong while you had been out for dinner and some drinks with a few mutual friends. You didn’t know if it was something someone had said, or something someone had done that you hadn’t noticed, but Hela had seemed to get defensive and closed off about halfway through the meal, which wasn’t exactly a rare occurrence for her, but it was one that always raised concern when you picked up on it. You had hoped on the drive home she would say something, and when that hadn’t happened, you’d held out for an explanation once you’d gotten back to the comfort of your own home, and yet here you were, still without answers.

Communication was something that you held with high importance, especially when it came to relationships and the people you loved. You’d had some… less than great experience with partners in the past, which had lead you to be skittish and constantly worried that if you said or did the wrong thing without realizing it, you would be punished for it. It was an awfully horrible way to live, and once you’d managed to get away from it, you’d sworn you would never let that lack of communication back into your life again.

Which was exactly why you were determined to get Hela to talk about what had happened, so you could understand her better and help her process whatever it was that had set her on edge.

“Look,” you finally said, closing the refrigerator door and leaning on it as you angled yourself to face where Hela was standing. “I don’t know what bothered you, and I’m really sorry that I didn’t catch it. But I can’t help you process it if you don’t tell me what happened.”

To your surprise, Hela huffed out a laugh. “This again.”

You blinked. “…I’m sorry?”

“This. You. Always needing to know everything. It’s a bit overdramatic, don’t you think?”

You stammered as you tried to work out where she was coming from, and unfortunately, your anger got the better of you, and you spoke before you could properly think. “I’m overdramatic? I’m just trying to get you to talk about what happened so that we can work through it together and-”

“It’s none of your business,” Hela snapped, finally setting the dish down in the drying rack with enough force that the sound startled you, and turned around to face you. “You’re never giving me the space to process my emotions on my own, and it was kinda cute at first, but now it just feels like you need to know everything and I’m tired of it.”

“Hela…” This was not where you had seen the conversation going, and your anger was giving way to the overwhelming feeling that you had just fucked up the only good thing in your life. “I just-”

“Just what? Hm? I’m allowed to have things that I keep to myself, Y/N. I’m allowed to process and feel my emotions on my own.”

“I’m not saying that you can’t, I just want to help.”

“And I’m saying I don’t need it!” Hela raised her hands above her head in what you, reasonably, knew was just a show of frustration. But all of the sudden, you found yourself traveling back to a time when saying the wrong thing had earned you a verbal berating when you were lucky, and a physical reminder when you weren’t. And like a horribly unfair magic tragic, suddenly you were the scared, anxious person afraid to speak or even breathe around the person that was supposed to love you.

And you reacted the same way you had reacted back then. You stumbled backward, putting what distance you could been yourself and Hela, and you could tell that she recognized her mistake immediately as she froze, gaze softening with worry and regret as she took in the state of you.

“Y/N… Y/N, I-I…” She stumbled over her words, and reached a hand out for you, then seemed to think better of it and let it fall to her side. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, and you thought your heart might stop right in your chest as you waited for whatever came next.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry.” Hela’s voice was hardly above a whisper, and when she opened her eyes, you could see that they were wet with tears. “I shouldn’t have raised my voice, and I shouldn’t have frightened you like that.” She took another slow breath, and gestured toward the living room. “…let’s sit and talk. About this and about earlier.”

You could still feel your body tense with high alert, but you made yourself nod, waiting for Hela to move first before you followed after her, keeping some space between you as you sat down on the sofa with her.

“I shouldn’t have gone off on you like that. You were only trying to help, and I know that. I just…” She heaved a sigh that felt so vulnerable that you felt yourself relaxing the slightest bit. “I don’t know how to accept help. I never have.”

You waited a beat, in case she wasn’t finished speaking, but when she said nothing else, you nodded slowly. “…I know that. I shouldn’t have pushed. You’ve… always come to me, when you’ve needed to. And you would have done the same tonight, too. Realistically, I know that. I just…” You heaved a sigh, wrapping your arms more tightly around yourself just because it was the best way you knew to self-soothe when you were actively struggling with your fight or flight response. “Like I said, I want to help. And I can’t stand seeing you when you’re upset, and… and knowing you’re upset but not knowing why or how to help you not be upset.”

You risked a brief glance at her, and found that she had completely softened, no longer looking quite so standoffish, and while you were grateful for that, your brain and your nerves were still on high alert. Another wonderful parting gift from your ex, to put it mildly.

“I know. And I wish that I wasn’t so… averse to accepting help. But I need you to know that I’m working on it. Even if it doesn’t seem like it, I am.” She met your gaze, then, eyebrows knitting together with worry as she looked at you. “You do know that. Yes?”

You heaved out a quiet sigh and nodded slightly. “Of course I do. And I’m proud of you for trying.”

Hela nodded, and seemed to relax a fraction of a bit more, and you tried to do the same, but couldn’t help the way your heart was still racing. Like your brain was convinced you weren’t out of the woods yet even as your emotions wanted desperately to settle. Hela seemed keenly aware of the war that was going on in your head, though, and hesitantly reached out a hand to settle against your arm.

“I want to apologize, too, for what happened in the kitchen. I knew better than to make a sudden, angry movement like that. I knew better and you deserved better. And I’m sorry that I made you feel like you were back in that situation.”

You shrugged a shoulder, only because that was all you could think to do, despite knowing that things were certainly not okay enough to garner a simple shoulder shrug in response. Hela saw right through this, as well, and shook her head.

“No, no. No appeasing me. No trying to tell me its fine. Your brain has just been teleported back to a time where you felt extremely unsafe. But you’re not there. You’re not then. You’re here and you’re now and you’re with me, and I need you to tell me truthfully what you need to ground yourself.” A pause, as her fingertips trailed down to settle at your wrist hesitantly. “…can I hold your hand? Would that be okay?”

After a brief moment, you gave a nod, and Hela gently took both of your hands into her own, cradling them but not gripping them, so that you had the option to remove them if you felt the need. Autonomy. Something you hadn’t had much of, before.

“What else, my love? Should I keep talking you through it? Sing off-key?” Hela was trying to get you to smile, and that earned her the barest ghost of one. “Cuddles in silence?”

You hesitated at that, and then nodded, letting Hela carefully envelope you in her arms and pull you into her lap. Even as she held you, her arms were loose around you. Not even fully encircling you, giving you an out if you needed one. It made you feel safe in a way that you hadn’t known, before you’d met her.

You could feel yourself relaxing more and more, and the more you settled, the more lovey Hela became with you, pressing the occasional kiss to your forehead or carding her fingers through your hair softly as she held you, letting you come back to yourself at your own pace.

After a while, you were feeling much more present, and much less trapped in your own head, and you glanced up at her, expecting her to be already looking at you but her gaze seemed a little distant, transfixed on some point across the room.

“…you never said what upset you. At dinner,” you pointed out timidly, a small part of you still afraid that bringing it up again might cause another round of arguments.

But Hela only pressed her lips together and shook her head as she looked down at you. “You know, I can’t even remember anymore. Must have been something small and superfluous. Fleeting.”

You considered that for a moment, analyzing her to tell if she was being truthful. When you were satisfied that she was, you spoke again. “And you’re not… mad at me? For…”

“Of course not.” Hela cut you off before you could even finish the sentence. “And I’m sorry that I made you feel that way. I spoke out of anger and frustration, and you didn’t deserve that in the least. Not now, not ever.”

You nodded, and laid your head against her shoulder, making yourself comfortable as you felt the tension melting away further bit by bit. “…can we watch something on Netflix? Your pick?”

Once she realized you were awake, though, her expression smoothed into something more akin to her usual demeanor, though softer than it was to anyone else. You’d noticed that, the longer that you’d been in her presence. With everyone else she was so hard and cold and to the point. And with you, she was still the same but there was more… leniency. Space left for you to learn and understand. It made your heart flutter and you still couldn’t quite figure out why. It was the same way you felt when she took the time to tell you stories about how she’d grown up or when her gaze lingered on you a little too long when you were re-energizing her.

You just couldn’t, for the life of you, understand why it was you that was getting that side of her.

“Feeling better?” Hela’s voice brought you back to your senses and you pushed yourself to sit up, nodding when you realized you felt more you than you had in quite some time. Perhaps it truly was the sun, after all, that energized you.

“Thank you, again, for allowing me to come outside. I appreciate it very much, and am grateful for your kindness.”

That curious, unnameable expression flashed in Hela’s eyes for a brief second before she nodded once. “We do have a schedule we must adhere to, though, so it’s time to go in now.”

You tried not to look too saddened as you nodded and got to your feet. Realistically, you had known that even this much time in the sun was a gift that you had been afforded, but that didn’t make you any less wary about returning to your tiny little cell, where you didn’t know how long it would be until you saw the sunlight again. Not to mention the fact that Hela had left two bodies down there, as well, and who knew how long it would take to get rid of the blood and the smell once everything got… taken care of.

Hela seemed to be on the same page as you as you walked back up the ramp, still at a distance from each other, and she cleared her throat briefly before speaking. “Of course, there’s the matter of your room.”

“I can clean it up, your highness,” you offered, aiming to be as amicable as possible in the hopes that it would keep you on Hela’s good side and therefore allow you more time in the sun wherever you ended up stopping next. As much as you hated the idea of having to scrub up all the blood and figure out how to get rid of a body, you would do just about anything to ensure yourself more time to re-energize yourself at a later date.

To your surprise, Hela shook her head.

“No. I will not be sending you back down there.” She turned to a servant standing in a nearby alcove. “You. Take two others down to the brig. I expect it to be spotless and the bodies disposed of by the time we reach our next destination.”

The servant gave a bow of acknowledgment and hurried off, and Hela began to walk. Unsure what else to do with yourself, you followed after her, assuming she was leading you somewhere else to be kept until you could be put back down in your cell.

Instead, when Hela pressed her hand against a pad to open up a sliding door, you found that she had lead you to her own chambers.

At least, you assumed they were her chambers. The bed was bigger than anything you’d ever seen in your life, and the colors matched her outfit. All greens and blacks, with accents of gold in places. It was so uniquely her.

And you were so out of your depth.

“…your highness?” The two of you were alone again, but given the fact that you were now in her personal chambers, under a pretense you didn’t know the bounds of, it felt safer not to use her name, for the moment.

“I’ll send for a bed at supper, so it will be here by the time we finish eating. You’ll be allowed to sleep in it, of course. Can’t have you draining yourself by sharing a bed, now can we?” Hela spoke so flippantly on the matter that you were a bit thrown for a loop. You’d never shared a bed with anyone before, save for your parents when you were smaller. The closest you’d ever came to anything like that were the times Hela would come to re-energize with you, but even that had never felt anything like what Hela seemed to be implying.

Your silence must have confounded Hela, as she turned to look at you when you remained silent. “…unless of you course you’d rather go back down to the cell, which can be arranged if you’d prefer?”

You were smart enough to hear the warning in that, even if she lacked any real conviction as she said it. No, you were going to stay with Hela, and Hela was well aware of that. The threat of the cell was simply a reminder that, no matter how Hela chose to keep you as a prisoner, that would still be what you were to her.

“No. No, you… I mean I… I’m not sure that I’m worthy of sharing your chambers, is all. Everything here is so…” you trailed off, letting yourself take in the room in full. The desk against the far wall covered with papers and quills and maps and whatever else a commander required, the small armory wherein lay a few pre-summoned weapons at the ready for Hela’s perusal, the almost comically small wardrobe that you assumed held a few outfits that weren’t of the armored battle suit variety. “…much.”

Hela quirked an eyebrow as you met her gaze, lips curling up in half-smirk. “And is much a bad thing?”

You shook your head, gaze trailing back over to the bed that seemed to take up an entire quarter of the room. “…no. Just not anything I’m used to.”

Hela seemed to consider that for a moment, nodding slowly as she crossed over to sit on the edge of the bed, posture still stiff, ever ready for a fight that wasn’t coming. “And what are you used to?”

You blanched, taken aback by Hela’s curiosity at… well, anything about you that didn’t directly regard your powers. “Are you… asking me about my life back home?”

Hela waved a hand as if to encourage you to go on, and you pressed your lips together, dipping your head slightly before taking in a slow breath. “Well… I certainly wasn’t raised around war and ships and… and beds that would put a cloud to shame.”

Hela gave a small huff of a laugh, and you couldn’t help but to feel a small swell of pride at getting even such a small reaction out of her.

“No, but I… I grew up mostly outside. Amongst the flowers and the trees and the animals… I’m pretty sure I had more friends that couldn’t talk to me than those that could. And I liked it that way. It was easier, that way. People are… hard. They take work and effort and… they drain you, and not just… because I’m me, I mean.” Without thinking much about it, you let your feet carry you over to the desk, leaning against the edge of it, and when Hela said nothing against it, you continued. “They drain you emotionally. You have to learn how to talk to them. What they want to hear, when they want to hear it. It’s like a very difficult dance, and if you make one misstep, then you stumble and fall and everyone laughs.”

You shook your head slightly, shrugging a shoulder. “Then you factor in the way people treat you when they find out you’re different. When they find out what you can do for them, and it’s… hard to tell when someone actually wants to know you or if you’re just a means to an end. Usually it’s the latter. At least, in my experience.”

Hela nodded slowly, gaze still fixated on you with such an intense curiosity that you struggled not to shy underneath it. “…and you truly don’t know how you got your… gift?”

Again, you shrugged a shoulder. “Like I told you when you first… When I got here. I’ve just… always been able to do it. Though there was a bit of a learning curve between realizing I was doing something and… understanding what I was doing, if that makes sense.”

“It does.” Hela pressed her lips into a thin smile, and you returned the gesture before looking down at the floor, unsure where to go from here.

You wanted to know more about Hela, but it wasn’t your place to ask questions. Hela was allowed to ask after you. You were hers, as she often reminded you, and therefore obliged to answer anything she wanted to know about you. You were given information only when Hela deemed it necessary, which was few and far between, and largely came about as small rewards for doing her the service of recharging her.

Perhaps, though, given your new living situation, you would be allowed at least a few questions of your own.

“…what about you?”

Hela tilted her head slightly, eyes narrowed slightly as she studied you. “…what about me?”

You swallowed thickly, steeling your nerves before pressing on. “What are you used to?”

Hela gave another faint curl of her lips, nodding slightly as if she was impressed at your decision to question her. “War and ships and beds that would put clouds to shame.”

You fought the urge to roll your eyes, but lost to the urge to smile, shaking your head a bit. “No, no. None of that. When you were little, still learning about the world and everything that you can do. What was it like for you?”

“Well, I have mentioned that I was trained for battle at a very young age, and battle truly has been most of what I’ve known. Even when I wasn’t training, it was learning to plan battles. Strategies, familiarity with landscape and other kingdoms’ and realms’ strengths and weaknesses.” Hela’s expression had darkened to something akin to remorse, but you didn’t call her out on it. “Always learning.”

“Surely you must have had some time to be a child?”

Hela only shook her head once. “No. It’s always been… going and going and going since I could walk. And even if it hadn’t been for war, it would have been for ruling. It still was, to be honest. I am the Crown Princess, after all, and one day Asgard will be mine and I will rule it. And you’ll be there, too. After we find what we’re looking for.”

Your brow furrowed at the thought, for a plethora of different reasons. You’d assumed Hela would keep you indefinitely, but somehow you’d never considered that would entail going back to Asgard while she ruled. And that aside, she had just openly admitted that she wasn’t simply conquering lands just to do so, but was actively on the search for something; information you hadn’t been privy to, as of yet.

“…you’re looking for something?”

Hela looked over at you again, and you could feel her sizing you up as she regarded you, and you sat very still, as though that might help in her assessment of you.

Eventually, she dipped her head in a nod, and stood up, crossing over the desk you were leaning on, and you straightened instinctually, turning as she pulled forward a spare bit of parchment upon which had been drawn six small items that looked to be stones of some sort. You’d never seen anything like them, and above each was written something in a language you didn’t understand. Asgardian, you assumed.

“I’m looking for these.”

“…what are they?” You almost wanted to reach out to touch the paper, as though feeling the lines of the drawings would provide you with clarity, but as your hand twitched, Hela pushed the paper back into the pile she’d moved it from.

“Something that will put me above all others.” Hela drew back then, and headed for the door. “Come. I’ll tell you more after supper.”

~~~~~

Hela, in fact, did not tell you more after supper, nor did she tell you anything more in the next five days that you were traveling.

You couldn’t say that you were upset about it. Hela was only being realistic, you reasoned. What need had you for knowledge about business that would never truly involve you? Better to let you be curious and find things out as they happened rather than give you information that others could get from you, should you ever make it away from Hela.

Not that you could ever even think about getting away from Hela.

Being on the ship with her had become normal. Sometimes, it felt like you’d never known anything but, and life back home felt like a distant dream that you couldn’t quite remember anymore. It was strange, and yet you couldn’t stop yourself from feeling like you were exactly where you were supposed to be. Like everything you had ever done had let to this, right here. Sitting in Hela’s bed on her ship while she sought out something to get herself more power.

“How are you liking your arrangements here, sweet girl?” Hela cooed, bringing you back to the present as you looked over your shoulder, where Hela sat behind you, braiding your hair as you re-energized her for the first time since you’d left Xandar. “This must be much better than that horrible cell down there.”

You weren’t entirely sure if that was meant to be a trap or not, so you pleasantly shrugged your shoulder. “I didn’t mind the cell so much, but here… I get to see outside, here.” You glanced out of the window, realizing that the stars and eternally black sky had given way to something much more sky-like, though you still had no idea where your next stop was. “And I get to be with you.”

You said the latter before you could comprehend that you’d said it, and you stiffened as you felt Hela’s hands still at the small of your back for a brief moment before she continued weaving your hair together.

“And do you like being with me?” Hela’s voice was even, yet you still couldn’t bring yourself to turn around to look at her.

Instead, you answered with the truth. “It’s better than being alone.”

You heard Hela make a strange noise, as though her breath had hitched or caught in her throat, but before either of you could say anything, there was a knock on the door before it slid open.

“Your Highness. We’ve reached Knowhere.”

~~~~~

You’d never been anywhere like Knowhere.

Though, to be fair, you’d never been anywhere but your home planet, so that really wasn’t saying much.

But given the way that Hela was holding to you tightly rather than keeping you at a distance as she had on Xandar, you imagined it wasn’t exactly a reputable place.

Hela didn’t say much as you traveled with her, and to be honest, you were a little surprised that she had brought you with her at all. She’d made it clear you weren’t really in need of knowing just what she was doing in her search for whatever it was that had been drawn on the papers, but she’d insisted that you come with her.

Perhaps, you mused, she was a little worried that if she left you on the ship again, someone might try to attack you again, and wagered it much safer for you to just tag along with her than risk having to kill more of her men.

“Whatever happens, you stay with me. Am I understood?” Hela was all business. No pet names, no soft voice. It made you more nervous than you cared to admit, so rather than give a verbal answer, you only nodded, opting to instead look around at the different races of aliens selling wares and bartering with others. Somewhere in the distance, you could see what looked like some sort of gambling den, from which you could hear shouting and yelling intermittent with the occasional cheer.

“This way.” Hela pulled you along, and you didn’t stop until you reached what seemed to be some sort of a bar not too far from the den you’d noticed before, and you watched as Hela leaned over to someone nearby, whispering something you couldn’t quite understand. The pink alien nodded, and disappeared behind a rather ornate door, but before you could comment on it, Hela turned back around to look at you.

“Have a drink. It’s polite.” She nudged over one of two small glasses you hadn’t seen her order, and you picked it up, peering into the cloudy liquid as you made a face.

“…is this safe to drink?”

“The man we’re going to see wouldn’t benefit if he killed those who came to see him.”

You weren’t entirely sold on the idea, but you were curious, and starting to feel the slightest bit drained from Hela’s constant touch, so you tipped the glass into your mouth, making a face as the liquid burned all the way down your throat.

“That’s a good girl.”

You blushed at the compliment, and watched as Hela threw her own glass back without so much as a flinch, leaning back against the bar and looking at the sea of people standing around and conversing. Not for the first time, you found yourself unable to look away from her, gaze traveling over her face as your mind began to grow fuzzy from whatever it was you had just drank.

“You’re staring again, pet.” Hela turned to look at you, but seemed to stop in her tracks at your expression, like she couldn’t understand why you were looking at her, or why you were looking at her the way you were looking at her.

“…sorry. I was just thinking…” Your voice was hardly above a whisper, but you knew Hela could hear you with how close she was still standing. Had she gotten closer since she turned to look at you? You couldn’t quite tell.

“What about?” Hela’s voice was hardly much louder than yours, but her tone sent a chill all the way down your spine.

You opened your mouth to speak, but before you could, the ornate door opened again, and the girl who had gone inside earlier spoke.

“Goddess of Death, Hela Odinsdottir. The Collector will see you now.”

The next few moments passed in a blur, partially because of the alcohol, but also because all you could focus on was the cool of Hela’s hand at the small of your back and the proximity of her body to yours as the alien led you past row after row of glass boxes, each containing a creature more fantastical than the next.

“That’s a Contraxian… and that one just over there is a Dark Elf, from Svartalfheim…” Hela pointed out to you, voice low enough so that only you could hear, and you nodded along, wondering why they were being kept in glorified cages.

“Milady Odinsdottir, I present to you… Taneleer Tivan.” The girl gestured in front of where you had stopped, and a man dressed in an almost comically ostentatious cape turned around to face you.

“Your highness… Such an honor to meet you in person, finally.” He took a step forward, and Hela did the same, her hand falling away from you and you found yourself missing even such small contact from her, despite the relief of getting a break from energizing her. The man, The Collector, took her hand, pressing a chaste kiss to the back of it, and you felt an awful flare of jealousy at the action, even though you weren’t entirely sure where it came from, or why you had any reason to feel jealous in the first place.

Hela, for what it was worth, seemed entirely uninterested and unimpressed, stepping back as soon as he let go of her hand.

“No need for formalities and pretenses here, Tivan. You and I both know you have information that I want, and I’m prepared to do whatever it takes to get it.”

You’d gotten so used to Hela being gentle with you that you’d forgotten just how harsh and commanding she could be, even though you could tell she was holding back, for now.

The Collector waved a hand dismissively, and then his eyes trailed over to where you were standing and he tilted his head. “But we have a guest! And you didn’t introduce us.” He took a step toward you, and you instinctively took a step back. In the same instant, Hela reached back to put a hand on your wrist protectively.

“She has a curious power. I can feel it from across the room. You simply must introduce us.” Tivan looked back over at Hela with what could only be described as a hopeful expression, but she remained stoic.

“She’s not why I’m here. You know where the Soul Stone is.” She let go of your wrist then, and flicked her hand out, a sword slipping into her palm. “And you’re going to tell me.”

The Collector held his hands out, and started to say something, but was drowned out by a crash coming from the direction you and Hela had come from, and you all turned around in time to see a group of people coming in, led by a tall, purple alien with a golden gauntlet on his left hand.

At your side, you felt Hela tense.

You’d lost track of how long exactly you’d been on Hela’s warship. You knew it had been months, only because Hela had said so herself, but you didn’t know how many. It was hard enough to tell time when you were in space, but to be locked away in a prison cell without any windows was a new level of disorientation that you hadn’t been able to adjust yourself to quite yet. In fact, you weren’t even sure if you truly had been sleeping all day, or if you’d just slept through the night, or if you’d perhaps even slept all night and into the next, as well. Hela hadn’t come back to visit, at least that you were aware of, though, so you mustn’t have been sleeping for too long.

You turned over so that you were lying on your back on your stiff little cot and looked up at the pale grey metal of the ceiling above you, unsure what exactly you were hoping to see in the blankness of it. Groggily, you let your eyes drift over to the steady, if dim, light coming from the fixture in the middle of the room. It didn’t really do much by way of actually lighting the room, but it was enough so that you weren’t trapped in darkness which, you mused, would have been even more frustrating than not being able to tell night from day or count how long you’d been a prisoner.

Yes, you were grateful for the light, poor as it was, just as you were grateful for the terribly hard cot and the blanket that seemed more hole and string than blanket and the scraps of food the guards brought you.

Could be a lot worse, you reminded yourself, tilting your head to look at the barred door, where you noticed a distinct lack of food left for you, which meant either the guards hadn’t brought you anything yet or had opted not to, as you were asleep.

As far as you were concerned, at this point that was more of a blessing than a curse. When Hela had first brought you with her, the guards had been firmly instructed not to come into your cell for anything, or even to come near you at all, but the longer you’d been on the ship, the more curious they had become, and with that curiosity came a disregard for the rules Hela had set. They had been pushing their limits more and more lately, making you come to the door for your food instead of leaving it for you, or even threatening to come into the cell a few times, and it wasn’t that you were scared of them, but you couldn’t help the wariness that settled in your chest every time they acted out a little more boldly.

In a manner of speaking, you were waiting for the other shoe to drop. Whenever and however that might be.

The sound of distant footsteps drawing closer brought you out of your silent reverie and you pushed yourself up on your elbows a bit, if only to prove to whoever was coming down that you were awake and present, to some degree. The last dregs of sleepiness were still clinging to you, after all, and the energy draining-induced exhaustion had still yet to go away.

You were surprised to find that it was Hela who came to a halt at your cell, and you perked up the slightest bit, hoping that she was here to tell you that the ship was docking somewhere and that you’d be able to come out with her and finally spend some time outside and not surrounded by four walls of metal and locks.

“Oh. Sweet girl, you’re finally awake. You’ve been asleep for three days now, you know. I’d ordered everyone not to bother you, so you could try and recharge, as it were.” She smiled pleasantly, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. Not entirely. “I’m glad you’re awake, though. That means I don’t have to leave this.” She raised a small scrap of parchment paper, which she began to fold into quarters and tucked away into a pocket as she continued. “We’ve made port on Xandar. We’ll be here for a little while, so I was thinking maybe if you’re good while I’m away on some quick business, then when I get back, you can come out with me for a walk. Just for a little bit.”

The initial shock of learning you’d been asleep for three days now wearing off, you perked up at the news, nodding and hoping that the gesture didn’t come off as desperate as you felt. “I’d like that very much, Hela.” You just barely managed to stop yourself from using her title again. “Do you… Need a little boost before you go?”

Hela smiled, and this time you could see it in her eyes, if only briefly. “No, sweetling. I’ll be alright. Besides, there’ll be time for that when you’re feeling a little more… replenished.”

You nodded, and sat yourself up properly so that you could face her. “Thank you. I promise I’ll be on my best behavior down here, and when you let me go out with you, too.”

Hela bowed her head in acknowledgment. “I know you will.” With that out of the way, she clasped her hands together in front of her. “Now. I should only be gone for a few hours, but I’ll send for some guards to bring you something to eat now that you’re awake, yes?”

You fought to keep your expression even as you nodded, but Hela, ever perceptive, noticed anyway.

“Is something the matter, sweet girl?”

You smiled, and hoped you looked convincing. “No.”

Hela narrowed her eyes, and looked at you with an intensity that left you struggling not to shy underneath it. “And you would tell me if there was. Yes?”

She said it in a way that left you uncertain if she was leaving you with an option. “Yes. I’m just… hungry. I’ve been asleep for a long time, as you said.”

Hela didn’t seem entirely convinced, but nodded. “…just so. I’ll be down as soon as I return.”

You only nodded again, and Hela, seeming satisfied with that, turned and took her leave, and you slumped back down on the bed, feeling drained all over again, despite the fact that she hadn’t been near enough to take from your energy.

No, this was a different sort of a drain, and you weren’t entirely sure that sun and fresh air was something that would help with that.

~~~~~~~~~~

You busied yourself with making your bed and fluffing your thin pillow while you waited for either your food to come or Hela to return. In all honesty, you weren’t entirely sure which would happen first, despite Hela giving the orders to the guards herself, but in any case, it was better for you to be prepared regardless.

You had undone and remade the bed another ten times out of sheer boredom before you finally heard the sound of footsteps coming down the hall again, and you made yourself stand, just in the off chance that it was Hela returning already. To your dismay, however, it was a pair of guards that came into view at the door to your cell, Hela still gone attending to whatever her business was here.

“Finally awake, huh?” one of the guards questioned, sharing a glance with his partner before continuing. “The Commander must be really wearing you out down here, huh?”

The other guard snickered, and you tried not to blush at the insinuation, wrapping your arms around yourself in an attempt to both appear as standoffish as you could manage and to give yourself something to do so that you weren’t thinking about how exhausted you still were.

“It isn’t like that,” you finally countered after a moment of silence, fixing them each with your best glare.

“Right, I’m sure it’s not. If it were, she’d keep you in her chambers with her, wouldn’t she? Instead she keeps you locked away here, like an animal.”

“Won’t even share your supposed powers with those of us who help her with her dirty work.” The other guard shook his head in a mockery of disappointment, giving a quiet tsk. “You’d think for all we do for her, she’d want to keep us in good health, too.”

“And what is it you do for her exactly?” You said the words before you could stop yourself, but when they gave you a reproachful glance, you found yourself gaining a small bit of courage. “I mean, she’s the Goddess of Death, right? The Commander. The way I see it, you’re likely just along for the ride, at this point. Like the strings of a puppet, except you’ve been cut and are simply… hanging slack while she performs.”

You could tell from the way their gazes hardened that you had struck a chord, and that it had been a terrible mistake.

“Big talk from little more than a pet.” The first guard looked over at the second, and then back in the direction they came from before setting down the tray of food he’d been holding the whole time. “What do you say, Nils? Shall we see if there’s any truth to the whole idea this little girly can replenish energy?”

“I was thinking exactly that, Dag. You go first. I’ll keep watch here.” He took the keys off of his belt and tossed them to Dag, who caught them and started rifling through them as you took a step back, heart pounding in your chest as you tried to anticipate just what exactly they were going to do with you.

“Aw, don’t be shy, sweetheart. We’re just trying you out, as it were. See if the rumors are true.” Dag had finally got the door open and made his way into the cell, closing the door behind him so you couldn’t make a run for it.

“You know they are,” you countered, backing yourself into the furthest corner as he came closer. “You think Hela would lie about that?”

“Hela, huh? On a first-name basis with her, are you? And you say it’s not ‘like that.’” He scoffed out a laugh, taking another step forward, so that he was close enough that you could feel your energy starting to dwindle, pulling away from you like tendrils of smoke from a flame.

You thought you might pass out, but your fight or flight instinct had kicked in, and you swung your arm at him, intending to punch him like your father had taught you, but you moved too slowly in your weakened state, and he caught your wrist as soon as you raised it, and the tendrils became like great ropes, pulling your energy out with so much force that your vision began to go black around the edges as you struggled to get out of his grip.

“Sh… That’s it. No need for a fight.” Dag kept his grip on your arm, and you tried as best you could to pull away, but you were tired, and your vision was swimming, colors fading into blacks and whites and greys as you fought to keep conscious, and for a brief, scary moment, you felt your powers flicker. As if they were shorting out under the constant use without respite, but the next moment, that feeling had faded, and you looked up at Dag as he spoke again. “I’m sure the Commander won’t mind us testing you out for ourselves.”

“Won’t she?”

The sound of Hela’s voice echoed around you in the cell, and suddenly you were dropped as if you were a hot coal, and you collapsed onto your bed, struggling to keep your eyes open if only to see how Hela was going to handle this.

“Commander, it’s not what it looks like,” Dag tried, putting himself in the corner most opposite of where Hela stood at the door to your cell. Nils was nowhere to be seen.

“And what do you think it looks like? Hm?” Hela drawled, an eyebrow quirked as she leveled him with such an intense gaze that you heard him give an audible whimper. When he said nothing further, Hela cleared her throat, crossing her arms firmly over her chest as she tilted her head slightly, a look that could only be described as predatory. Dangerous. “Go on, then. I’m waiting.”

“Commander, I-I… Ah… I-I…”

“You, you, you what?! What did you think was going to happen when I found out what was going on down here? Did you think Y/N wouldn’t have told me what had happened if I hadn’t walked in on you taking advantage of her?”

“Th-that’s not-”

“That is exactly what happened!” Hela’s voice seemed to fill the entire room; a great, booming sound that you couldn’t help but to feel glad you weren’t on the receiving end of. “You dare lie in the face of your own Commander?” Her angry glare gave way to a somehow softer expression that would have looked remorseful if you hadn’t been able to tell that whatever she was going to say next was going to cut deeply. “After everything I’ve done for you. Shame.” She gave a flick of her wrist, and an obsidian blade slid into her palm effortlessly. She gripped it tightly as she reached forward to pull the door to the cell open. “Your… error in judgment will be the last you ever make.”

No sooner had she finished the sentence did she give a quick, if graceful, extension of her arm, and the sword she had been holding flew across the room and lodged itself in the guard’s chest and he fell to the floor, dead in an instant.

It all happened so quickly that you were still staring in awe by the time you were aware Hela had turned to face you. “Darling, are you hurt?” When you gave no answer, she tried again, hardening her voice just enough that you couldn’t ignore her again. “Y/N.”

You turned your head to look at her, your exhaustion momentarily pushed to the back of your mind.

“Did he hurt you?” There was an edge to her voice that you didn’t quite understand. One that didn’t quite match with the anger you could still hear lacing her tone and burning in her eyes. It made you shiver for reasons you couldn’t quite comprehend.

“N-No. No, I… Well, yes, he… He drained me quite a bit, and I… Well, I was still feeling so tired, as it was, and now… But he didn’t… physically harm me, no.” You tried to push yourself up into a sitting position, but your arms were shaking with fatigue, and you were keenly aware of Hela watching you all the while.

“You need to eat.” She glanced back at the tray of food that had been dropped on the floor outside of your cell, and that was when you realized the other guard lay dead on the other side of the bars, as well. “Not any of these scraps. Real food. Come.” She held the door open, and you looked at it and then to her, not quite realizing what she was asking of you. “Y/N.” Her voice was much softer now, and it confused you and soothed you in a way that didn’t make sense. “Come.”

You nodded, and pushed yourself to your feet with effort. You were still very weak, and while your vision was slowly turning back to normal, you knew you wouldn’t be able to keep up like this. But you also knew that Hela was going to baby you no further, and so you made your feet work, taking one step at a time as Hela backed up with you. It took you a few moments to realize that she was keeping space between you so that she didn’t take any further energy from you. A small kindness that you were grateful for.

You continued like this all the way up the staircase and up into the main area of the ship. There was a window next to you, and you allowed yourself the opportunity to look outside at the ships that were whirring by and coming and going from the other ports around you. You’d never seen the Nova Corps ships in person before, and they were mesmerizing to watch.

“They’re beautiful, aren’t they?” Hela said after a moment, and you felt a little shy at being caught staring. “Like shooting stars.”

“Mm.” You turned around just in time to see Hela taking a basket from a servant and dipping her head in a slight nod before she looked back to you.

“I promised you some time off the ship.”

You couldn’t help the grateful smile that spread across your face, and you nodded, shuffling after her. “Thank you. Your highness, thank you.” You knew you were pushing your luck by not calling her by her name, as she’d asked you, but you wanted to keep appearances up in front of others, and Hela seemed to acknowledge this.

“Go on. After you.” Hela gestured to the entryway to the ship, which had been let down to provide a ramp down to the ground, and, after offering her another brief smile, you carefully made your way down and outside.

The warmth of the sun enveloped you in such an all-encompassing way that you came to a hard stop, closing your eyes as you reveled in the feel of it. Just as you’d hoped, you could feel your strength coming back to you, slowly but surely, and you kept your eyes closed, lips curling into a relieved smile as you began to feel more and more like yourself.

“That must feel wonderful, sweet girl. I’ve never seen you smile like that.” Hela’s voice was closer than it had been, but you could tell she was still keeping enough distance from you that you could properly come back to yourself. “…I should have let you come out sooner. It would have been better for you. Us.” She corrected herself so quickly that you couldn’t think much on what she’d said, and you only shrugged a shoulder.

“…I did try to tell you.” You hoped saying as much wasn’t going to earn you any more conflict than you’d already had today. You didn’t think you could handle any more trouble than that.

“…yes,” Hela said after a moment, with that same edge to her voice that you couldn’t quite understand, and you turned to look at her, but her expression was set and neutral. “Sit. I’ve put a blanket out. You eat and I’ll stay over here.” She perched herself on a rock and watched you as you began to eat, too hungry to feel embarrassed at your ravenous eating.

A comfortable silence settled over the both of you, and it lingered long after you had finished eating and you sat leaned back on your palms, face tilted toward the sky. You were keenly aware that Hela was watching you, but there was a small part of you that liked being watched like this, and so you said nothing about it.

“…you’re sure he didn’t hurt you?” Hela finally said after a while, and you opened your eyes to see the faintest hint of concern in her expression, despite her obvious efforts to hide it.

“Yes, but… Something… happened. Something felt weird for a moment.”

Hela’s brow furrowed. “In what way?”

“I don’t know how to explain it. It’s like my powers… fizzled, for a moment. Like I was drained so much that I simply… had nothing else to give. It was only for a moment. I’ve always wondered what would happen. If I just… didn’t have the energy to give any more. If I just… stop, or if I… die, or… what happens.”

“You know, if you take a picture it’s going to last a lot longer,” you teased, voice weary with exhaustion from spending the last seven hours in labor. You’d always heard that giving birth was one of the most painful things someone could do, but actually going through it had been another thing entirely.

Hela didn’t even flush at being caught, only smiled all the more as you looked up to meet her gaze. “Excuse me for being so incredibly in love with my wife and my new baby girl.”

“Mm…” You pretended to think for a moment, but you couldn’t stop smiling, either. “I suppose I can forgive you for that.”

Hela hummed out a soft laugh and leaned forward to press a gentle kiss to your forehead. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I got hit by a train. And then it reversed and drove over me again, for good measure.” You carefully laid your head back against the pillow, looking back down at your daughter, who seemed to be well on her way to nursing herself to sleep. “She was more than worth it, though.”

Hela pressed another kiss to your temple, and leaned her head against your shoulder, so that she could be closer to you and the baby. “She is perfect, isn’t she?”

“The most. I can’t believe she’s finally here.”

“And it only took about nine months and seven excruciating hours of labor.”

“I may be tired, but I can still throttle you, just so you know,” you warned, though there was no bite in your tone whatsoever. You were far too tired, and far too in love, to hold any capacity of anger or unhappiness.

“Oh, I’m sure you could,” Hela played along, reaching up to brush your hair out of your eyes. “I texted my brothers. They should be here within the hour, if you’re ready for guests.”

“Mm. In a little bit. I still want her to myself for a little while longer.”

“Well, you did do all the work, so I wager I can agree to those terms.”

You felt a small wave of guilt, though, when you realized what you had said, and looked back up at her. “I didn’t mean just myself. That… came out wrong. I just want her to be just ours for a little while longer.”

“You don’t have to apologize, darling. I knew exactly what you meant.” She kissed your shoulder gently, and sat up a bit as you did the same, carefully shifting your now fast asleep daughter to lay against your chest, tiny head nestled against your shoulder as you sighed softly, unable to tear your gaze away from her still.

“I can’t get over how small she is… Like a little porcelain doll.”

“Mm. And she looks just like you.”

“I wish she looked just like you.”

“The next one will,” Hela promised, reaching to brush the gentlest finger down the baby’s little cheek.

“Do you want to hold her again? She’s asleep now, so she can’t start crying.” You smiled gently at the memory of the baby wailing as soon as Hela had gotten her cradled in her arms, a reaction she had clearly not been anticipating, given the way she’d looked more nervous than you’d ever seen her in your life as she looked to you for help. It had been endearing, that she was so worried that the baby didn’t like her already, and you’d reassured her that she was only crying because she was small, and had just had her entire world turned upside down.

“Ugh, please. You needn’t remind me of that so soon,” Hela lamented, though she was already reaching for the baby, eager for redemption.

You carefully handed her over, not so much picking her up as simply shifting her from your shoulder to Hela’s, jostling her as little as possible in the hopes that she would remain peaceful and sleeping. Hela expertly situated the baby with the bare minimum of movement, seeming to hardly even breathe as the baby nestled against her shoulder with a quiet little coo. Once it became clear that the baby wasn’t going to wake up, she relaxed, and looked up at you to find that you were already watching her with a gentle smile, so completely in love with your wife that you couldn’t bear it.

“It suits you. Motherhood.” You carefully shifted to lay on your side, grateful that it hurt less to turn than you thought it might. “She loves you so much, I already know.”

“How can you tell?” Hela asked, with an edge of such earnest curiosity that it made your heart flutter as you only continued to smile.

“It’s just something I know. Something I can see.”

Hela considered that for a moment, all the while cradling the baby with a gentleness that seemed so rare for someone so hotheaded as she was. “And what do you see?”

You smiled softly. “I see a mother who loves her baby more than anything. And a baby who loves her mother the same. I can see it in the way you hold her, in the way that you can’t even take your eyes off of her while we’re talking. Which is adorable, by the way. No wonder you couldn’t stop staring at me. And I see it in the way she’s so calm and peaceful.”

“Well, that’s because she’s asleep,” Hela reminded you, but you shook your head.

“No. It’s more than that. I can see. She trusts you. You’re her mother. And just because you didn’t carry her nine months or give birth to her doesn’t lessen that bond at all.” You looked at her a little more intently, despite her still looking at the baby. “You know that. Right?”

“It won’t be the same bond,” Hela stated carefully, and though her expression didn’t show it, you could hear the lament in her tone.

“It won’t be,” you admitted, reaching to cup her cheek so that you could turn her to face you gently. “But you will have a different bond, one unique to you and her, and your relationship. And I love that so much. I love seeing you together like this now, and I can’t wait to see the way you bond in the future, as she grows up and finds her way through the world, with you right by her side the whole time.”

Hela sniffled quietly, and you realized that she was crying. “You’re not allowed to make me cry twice in one day.” She gave a tearful little laugh, but was back to smiling again, and you couldn’t help the way your heart soared at the expression.

“Well, then you’ll be just about even with me.” You brushed your thumb along her cheek, wiping her tears away, before leaning up to kiss her softly. “You’re doing an amazing job. And so what if it’s only the first day? It’s the first day of the rest of our lives, and hers, and if today has been any sort of indicator of how it’s going to go, then I don’t think I have anything to worry about.”

Hela considered that for a moment, and then her gaze fell back to linger on the baby, who was still fast asleep with one little hand curled in the fabric of Hela’s shirt. “…I don’t know what I’m doing. I never knew my mother, and so… I lack that bond, that… knowledge… of how to handle having a child. I’ll do everything all wrong.”

“So what if you do?” You smiled softly as you tucked her hair away from her face and pressed a kiss to her shoulder. “We both might. Raising a child is one of the most difficult things two people could ever do together. We’re bound to make mistakes, you and me both. But we’ll learn. Together. And I look forward to it so much.”

Hela hummed out a quiet laugh, and despite not seeming to be convinced, nodded, turning to look at you softly. “I hope you’re right.”

“I always am.” You grinned, and kissed her one more time, unable to resist the urge when she was so close, and looked so soft. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” She nuzzled her nose against yours briefly, and then looked back down at the baby. “And I love you, too, little one. More than anything. I’ll do my best to be everything that you need me to be, today and every day after that. I promise.”

The baby stirred slightly, and for a fleeting second you worried that this quiet moment between the three of you would have to be over. But all she did was coo softly and smack her little lips, and settle right back against Hela’s shoulder with a sleepy little curve of her lips that left you falling in love all over again.

“See? She believes you. That was her way of showing it,” you insisted in a quiet voice, desperate not to wake her up.

“You made that up,” Hela shot back with a playful roll of her eyes that left you smiling.

“Did not.”

“Yes, you did, Y/N.”

“I carried her for nine months, I think I know how to interpret my own daughter, thank you very much.”

And your childhood had given way to young adulthood, and you’d watched as your mother died, sick and unable to afford the care she needed, and you had grieved and hurt, but gone on with your work, because it was expected of you, and you were needed. And it kept your mind off of the pit of grief that had made itself at home in your chest.

But through it all, you’d never hated a minute of it. You’d done everything and anything you’d ever been tasked with, and had stayed in the good graces of the entire royal family, ever since you’d been but a young girl.

And of course, it had brought Hela to you.

You had never planned on someone like Hela.

You’d met her for the first time when you were both still young. You’d heard the stories, of how Odin had trained her from near infancy to be able to wield weapons and excel on the battlefield as well as on the throne, and so when you had quite literally bumped into her, you’d expected her to be harsh and cruel in her reprimanding of you.

But instead she had apologized, and held out a hand to pull you to your feet, and you’d taken it, trying not to look like you were staring at her, but you were. Despite growing up in the palace, you’d only ever heard of her, and none of the words used to describe her seemed accurate. They’d called her ruthless and hardened, and even difficult.

But she just looked like a girl, to you. No different than yourself.

Something had changed that day, and it must have for Hela, as well, because it wasn’t long after that that you had been summoned to be Hela’s personal maid, a feat for someone as young as yourself, but you had accepted the offer with an immediacy that you hadn’t quite been able to understand then.

Now, you knew. And if you were being truthful with yourself, perhaps there had been some small part of you that had always known.

Because that small moment, that agreement to work exclusively for the young princess, only a few years older than you, had launched you onto the path that you were on now.

Servitude had blossomed into friendship, and that into something more as you grew older together, and it had always been your secret. Something that only you and Hela shared, and you had always loved that.

But you weren’t sure how much more you could take of waiting in the wings for a moment you weren’t even certain would ever come.

What you and Hela had made together was special, and you didn’t want to change anything about it, but keeping everything in the shadows had become too much for you to bear.

Realistically, you knew that this would always be how it would have to be.

After all, you were only a maid, and Hela was a princess. Destined for something far greater than you could ever be able to comprehend. And while Hela swore to you that things would change in time, that she would change things in time, you were beginning to wonder if they were empty promises dressed up in pretty words.

The sound of a door opening brought you back to your senses, and you looked up from where you sat on the edge of your meager little cot that sat tucked in a corner of the live-in apartment that you shared with four other maids. Seeing that it was Hela only made you relax a small bit. You’d asked her to come see you, if she could manage it, and the way she was smiling at you made it only hurt all the more, knowing that you’d asked her here to deliver an ultimatum.

“I missed seeing you today,” she led with, as she crossed the room in only a few steps, coming to a halt in front of you and kneeling down so that she could be more level with you. Her brow furrowed as she took in your expression. “Y/N… What’s the matter? You look as though you’ve been thinking very hard about something very unhappy.”

“…I suppose I have been,” you admitted slowly, being mindful of your words as you chose them.

Hela’s frown only deepened as she continued to look at you, reaching her hands out to take yours. “Then you must share the burden of it, so that you aren’t suffocating under the weight of it.”

A small part of you wanted to laugh; Hela always had the most unintentionally poetic way with words. You supposed that it must be part of her upbringing as a princess, to be able to twist simple words into beautiful sentiments. A skill like that would be of the utmost important to a young princess trying to carve her way amongst headstrong men. But instead, you found yourself pressing your lips together into a grimace as you let yourself inhale deeply before deciding to just come out with it.

“Hela, what are we doing?”

If she knew what exactly you were asking, she didn’t show it, but you could feel the way she hesitated in caressing her thumbs along the backs of your hands, and could almost hear the tension in the very air surrounding you. Like the crackle of lightning that had yet to dance across the sky.

“Well, I thought we were meeting for a romantic little tryst while the other maids are busy, but…” You could hear the defensive mirthfulness in her tone give way to something more serious, and you couldn’t help but to feel the slightest bit grateful that she wasn’t making light of the conversation. “…I can see now that you had something else on your mind.”

She stood, then, and for an achingly painful moment, you thought she might actually turn to leave the room, rather than discuss anything further. But instead she reached for the door, clicking the lock into place before crossing back over to the bed and sitting next to you with a closeness that left your knees brushing against each other as she looked over at you.

“…I don’t know how to make you happy.” The hesitant quality to her voice left you with a deep ache that you could feel in your very soul, and you found yourself shaking your head before you even opened your mouth to refute.

“You make me happier than anyone has ever been able to make me. And I’m grateful for that in more ways than you could possibly know.”

“And yet you’ve been dwelling on unhappiness.”

“Not because it is you that is causing it.” That wasn’t entirely true, but it wasn’t exactly false either, and so you felt secure enough to say as much.

“But it must involve me, otherwise you wouldn’t have been so frightened to have told me.”

You heaved a sigh, finally angling your body so that you were looking at Hela properly, taking her hand and holding it with both of your own.

“You do not make me unhappy, nor do you cause me unhappiness in your actions. I… love what we have together. And I love what we’ve made for us. For each other. I just…” You let out a slow breath, feeling yourself deflate. “…don’t you ever want it to be more?”

You could all but see the gears turning in Hela’s head as she comprehended what you were saying, and after a long moment, she nodded once, almost imperceptibly.

“Of course I do. Y/N… I want that more than anything.”

You nodded, took a deep breath, and steeled yourself. “Then why do you make no move to make it so?”

This time, it was Hela’s turn to heave a sigh of frustration, and she dragged her free hand down her face before pinching the bridge of her nose. “Y/N, you do not understand the position that I’m in.”

“Then help me to.” You squeezed her hands gently, gaze beseeching as you waited for her to continue.

“Y/N, I’m the princess. And one day I will be queen, and when that day comes, I can and will do whatever I want. I will move mountains for you, and flood fields and set fire to entire groves, if you only ask it. But until then, I… I’m just a girl. A girl being watched like a hawk waiting for one wrong misstep so that it can corner its prey and prove to everyone that a girl could never do a man’s job as ruler of the Nine Realms, or even just one kingdom.”

“Hela, no one would even dare cross you in such a manner. You are the most formidable thing anyone has ever seen, in any of the Realms. And to threaten you would be to court demise.” You reached a hand up to cup her face, turning her so that she was looking at you properly. “Now tell me what you’re truly frightened of.” A pause, as you regarded her. “Please.”

Hela said nothing, for so long that you began to wonder if she was steeling herself to clam up and change the subject. But then you saw her expression fall and her shoulders slump, as though the weight off the entire realm rested on them alone. “…I fear that I’ll be replaced.”

You didn’t want to speak over Hela when it was clear she was struggling to find the words she wanted, so you settled for continuing to look at her gently, brushing your thumb along the curve of her cheek, and squeezing her hand gently as you threaded your fingers together.

“My father speaks of… wanting to disband the legions. Well, not disband, rather… decommission them. Bring them home. End the wars and conquering and… focus on peace.” She was silent for another moment, gaze pointedly focused on something somewhere behind you. “…he told me this morning his new wife is finally with child.”

You nodded slowly, not quite understanding why this would cause Hela distress.

“…Y/N, if the child is a boy, then… then I lose all claim to the throne. Asgard has never been a monarchy. Not one led by a woman. I would have been the first True Queen, but… Well, if they’re presented with the opportunity, why would they meddle with tradition?”

Your brow furrowed. “Because you’re his firstborn. Hela, by all rights the throne is meant to be yours. You’ve trained for this. Fought for this.”

“And it has meant nothing. All that I’ve done in my father’s name. The conquering, the fighting, the bloodshed… None of it has meant a thing to him. I’ve never made him proud. I’ve never seen him look at me like… like I’m worthy of being the one that will sit on the throne after him.”

You’d never seen Hela look so distraught, and it hit you just how much Hela’s self-worth was taking a hit from going unpraised for all she’d done for her father, who’d never even taken the time to tell her he was proud of her. To see her hurt in such a way made you hurt, and it made you feel sorry for thinking Hela had purposely been keeping you in the shadows to wound you.

“…so what if you aren’t Queen?” Your voice was hesitant, and soft, and as you expected, Hela looked at you with wild confusion and slight anger, but you only cupped her face with both hands and met her gaze. “Think about it, Hela. I’ve seen the toll everything has taken on you. Being gone for months at a time for war, the bloodshed, the killing. You may think that it’s nothing to you, after all this time, but I can see the ghosts in your eyes every time you return, and I can feel the distance in your touch every time you prepare yourself to leave again. And you’ve never done any of it for you. Not any of it. It’s always been for him. And if he refuses to see that, refuses to acknowledge it all, then… Then maybe what’s best for you is to take yourself out of the running.”

“Y/N…”

“Hela, I can’t watch you spiral down into this soulless, thoughtless machine that can only think about the kill. Please don’t ask me to. I want to be happy. And I want you to be happy. And I want to be with you. No matter what it takes.” You could feel your hands trembling against her face as you held her, and could feel the tears welling up in your eyes, but you willed your expression to stay as neutral as possible.

Hela looked at you in silence for a tense moment, and then gently brought her hands up to rest over yours, pulling them away so that she could press a gentle kiss to each palm before holding them in front of her. “And I want to be with you. More than I’ve ever wanted anything. I know that now. I think I’ve known that for some time now, actually. I just… was too frightened to admit it out loud.”

You huffed out a quiet little huff of a laugh, unable to stop a tear from rolling down your cheek as you looked at her.

“…we could run away. To the mountains on the other side of the palace. Or to Vanaheim, or Alfheim… Norns, I’d even go to Midgard for you. With you. If it would make you happy.”

You smiled softly, leaning forward enough so that you could press your forehead to hers. “You make me happy.”

You closed your eyes, and after a moment, Hela did the same, letting go of one of your hands so that she could cup your face and hold you closer to her, and for a while, that was all that there was. Just you and Hela, in an intimate silence that felt like everything all at once, in the best way possible.

Eventually, she drew back, only enough to look at you. “So… Are we running away?”

You hiccupped out a quiet laugh, and nodded. “I think we are, yes. Should I pack anything?”

“Only a small bag. Something we can easily carry. And I was joking about Midgard, but… Well, I do know a place there we could go, if you’d let me take you…?”

You smiled softly and, unable to resist the urge any longer, you leaned forward to press your lips to hers in a gentle kiss, only pulling away when you felt as though your lungs might give out.

“I’d follow you all the way to Eternity.”

Hela smiled gently, and pressed another kiss to your lips. “Then it’s settled. We’ll pack a bag each. We’ll leave in the night. There’ll be no getting around the Bifrost being seen, even late at night, but I think I could manage an agreement with the Gatekeeper.”

You nodded along. “I’ll pack right now. I don’t have much, only a few things that belonged to my mother. I’ll have to wear my maid’s robes, though. They’re all I have to wear.”

Hela only smiled, her newfound happiness radiating off of her like the rays of the sun as she picked you up by the waist and spun you around once. “I’ll buy you all the gowns you’ll ever need, when we get where we’re going. You’ll never want for anything ever again. And it will just be the two of us, facing the future and doing anything and everything we could ever want. It’ll be perfect.”

“The most perfect.” You smiled, bringing a hand up to thread your fingers through her hair affectionately. “I can’t wait.”

Hela smiled and nodded, and leaned forward to press one last kiss to your lips. “I’ll pack quickly, and run ahead so that I can talk to Heimdall. He’s always been an ally to me, I think he’ll turn the other way, so to speak, and allow us to disappear.”

You nodded, and stood, and Hela stood with you, holding your hand even as she began to inch backward toward the door. “I’ll see you soon. As soon as its nightfall, we’ll meet in my chambers and go from there.”

“Okay.” You waited until Hela had left the room before you allowed yourself a girlish little giggle, feeling for all the world like a small, excited child. It was all you could do to stop yourself from singing cheerfully as you packed a few changes of uniforms, your pajamas, and what few personal belongings you wanted to bring with you.

By the time night had fallen, you couldn’t stop yourself from daydreaming about everything you and Hela would do together on Midgard. You had it all planned out already. Find a place to stay, get married, eventually, though you didn’t know how marriage worked on Midgard, and perhaps one day raise a child or two together. It would be absolutely perfect, and nothing would ever get in your way.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile so hard, Y/N,” Hela observed as she let you into her bedroom, closing and locking the door behind you in an abundance of caution. “You look about as happy as I feel.”

“And so much more,” you admitted, setting your bag down as you turned to look at her. “Are you all set? Everything you need?”

“Mm.” Hela nodded once, slinging her bag over her shoulder. “And you?”

“Yes.”

Hela nodded, taking your hand and kissing the back of it gently before threading your fingers together. “Then let’s run away together.”

You beamed, and shouldered your own bag and let Hela lead you out of her bedroom and down all the lesser-used stairways to avoid being seen, and all the while, you couldn’t help the excitement that was endlessly building up inside of you as you traveled further and further down the Bifrost toward the observatory.

Once there, Hela shared a look and a nod with Heimdall, who immediately turned to get the Bifrost ready for travel, and you squeezed Hela’s hand as the room began to whir and transform around you.

“Thank you, Heimdall. For everything.” Hela turned to look at Heimdall one last time as he drew back from the sword, and he bowed his head in acknowledgment.

“May you find every happiness that you couldn’t receive here.”

Hela smiled softly, and looked down at you. “I think I already have.”

Your heart fluttered, and you held her hand a little more tightly as you stepped toward the swirl of colors unfolding themselves in front of you and, with one last glance and nod at Hela, you both took one last step forward and allowed yourselves to be swept away.

Traveling was far more dizzying than you’d expected it to be, and by the time you landed, rather clumsily on your part, you felt more than a little sick to your stomach, and Hela helped you to stand still as you gained your bearings until you felt well enough to look around.

It wasn’t exactly what you’d expected. Wherever you had landed seemed isolated and quiet. The only lights you could see were far in the distance, but Hela didn’t seem to mind, and so neither did you. In truth, you were so excited about everything that it was hard to feel anything but.

“Well, darling… What do you think?”

You smiled softly, and looked over to Hela, taking in the absolute love-struck expression on her face.

“I think we’re going to be happy here together, for the rest of forever.”

Hela hummed softly, wrapping her arms around you and kissing the top of your head as you both looked out over the water not too far from where you stood.

To say that you had been having a bad day would have been a little bit of an understatement. If you were being honest, you were having a bad week. Bad month. Bad existence, even, if you thought too much about it. But today had truly taken the crown for the worst day of the week so far. You’d left your lunch at home, and you were ten cents off from being able to get a snack from the vending machine to suffice, and on your walk from the car to the apartment, whoever was in charge up there had thought it would be really funny to start a downpour in the middle of a cold snap. And you’d had to park on the entire other side of the lot.

And now you couldn’t find your damn keys.

You heaved another frustrated sigh, swinging your bag more fully in front of you so that you could dig around a little better, feeling the last dregs of your patience evaporating the longer you had to search. Just when you were about ready to give up and regretfully text your sleeping girlfriend and inevitably wake her up and make her grumpy, too, your fingers closed around your keyring and you thanked your lucky stars that at least one small thing could finally go your way.

Quietly as you could, you unlocked the door and tiptoed inside, locking it behind you before setting your belongings down with a quiet, weary little sigh. For a long moment, you just stood there, reflecting on how absolutely terrible your day had gone. You let your pity party last for a few minutes before dragging yourself over to the laundry room, so you could strip out of your wet clothes and put them straight to wash so they wouldn’t get ruined, and then headed to the bedroom so you could get to the shower.

You kept the bedroom light off as you carefully cracked the door open, narrowing your eyes until you could focus on Hela’s sleeping form curled up on her side of the pillow. Just the sight of that alone was enough to soothe your anger enough to calm you a little, and you let yourself watch her sleep until you felt a little more relaxed.

Eventually, you dragged yourself over to the bathroom, waiting until you had closed the door behind you before turning the light on and heading straight to turn the water on with the highest temperature you could stand.

Somewhere between getting in and washing your hair, the weight of your day paired with the overwhelming sadness that just seemed to settle over you during this time of the year became too much for you to bear and, hair still sudsy with shampoo, you sank to the floor of the shower, drawing your knees to your chest and focusing on the spattering of the water hitting the floor until you were so zoned out that you couldn’t think about anything else.

You were certain you were crying, because your vision kept getting blurry, and somewhere in the back of your mind, you hoped that you at least weren’t sobbing, because the idea of waking Hela up only made you feel worse, and there your mind went again, wandering off into total nothingness as you just kept staring at the water.

You didn’t know how long you’d been sitting there on the shower floor when the curtain drew back slowly, and you didn’t acknowledge it until you felt a gentle hand cup your cheek and carefully turn you until you were facing your girlfriend. You wanted to feel guilty. Somewhere in there you thought maybe you did. But all you could focus on was just how tired you were. Just tired. Of everything. Of nothing.

Hela said nothing as she studied you, and you were grateful for that, in part because you didn’t want her to say anything, and because you weren’t entirely sure you would be able to translate your emotions and how you were feeling into something Hela would understand. You didn’t like talking when you got into one of your moods, and Hela had always respected that. You appreciated it, and her, endlessly.

After a long moment, Hela nodded to herself, and drew back, and you watched tiredly as she undressed and got in with you, gently pulling you to your feet and guiding you to rest your forehead against her shoulder as she began to finish washing your hair, gently combing her fingers through whatever tangles created resistance, until your hair was clean and your knots were gone, and then she took a washcloth and gently soaped you up and rinsed you, kissing your cheek and your shoulder and wherever else she could spare as she cleaned you up.

She remained silent as she turned the water off and wrapped you up in a towel, carefully guiding you out of the shower and over to the counter where your pajamas lay folded and ready for you to put on. She dressed you gently, coaxing you into the clothing limb by limb until you were nice and cozy, and then she combed and plaited your hair just the way you liked it to keep it from getting tangled in your sleep. Rather than trying to get you to wash your face, she opted for some cleansing face wipes instead, and went through your entire bedtime routine as you watched her in silence, trying desperately not to start crying again and ruin all of her hard work.

When she had finished, she kissed the top of your head, cupping your face gently and brushing her thumb along the curve of your cheek before gently leading you to the bedroom. She pulled the covers back and tucked you in, and then made her way over to her side of the bed, cuddling up to you the second that she was comfortable, and you let yourself melt into her, reveling in how she was able to convey just how much she cared and worried about and adored you without uttering a single word. It brought you such a strong sense of peace that after a few moments, you felt yourself begin to relax entirely, sleep slowly settling over you like a blanket of new snow during the first storm of the season. Hela began to play with your hair and continued to press kisses to your face with such gentleness that you could feel yourself being lulled to sleep even quicker.

“Y/N, I think it’s time.”

You glanced up from where you sat reading at the window, mind temporarily drawing a blank as you looked at your wife.

“Time for what?”

Hela leveled you with such a look that reality hit you a millisecond later.

“It’s time?” You let your book fall onto the window seat with a dull thud, completely disregarding that you hadn’t even placed a bookmark.

Hela nodded, carefully pushing herself to her feet. “It’s time.”

You nodded along with her, and jumped to your feet at the same time, going over to take her hand and wrap an arm around her.

“Okay. You’re gonna be okay, it’s okay. We’ll get you to a birthing suite, and tell a maid to alert the healers on the way over.”

Hela only nodded, looking far calmer than you felt, and you couldn’t help but to wonder just how long that would last. Given Hela’s unease about being pregnant in the first place due to her own mother dying in childbirth, you assumed at some point during the next few hours, you’d be talking her down while she worried about what was going to happen next.

Hela tightened her grip on your hand slightly, and the pressure brought your mind back to the present as you looked over at her, brow furrowing in concern.

“What’s happening? Contraction? Do you need me to stop? Let’s stop.” Before Hela could even answer, you’d brought the both of you to a halt, and you moved to stand in front of Hela so that you could watch her better as you gripped both arms to keep her steady as she closed her eyes, working through whatever pain she was feeling.

The contraction only seemed to last a few seconds, and you were grateful for that, as you’d much rather get Hela to a safer place to get through the birthing process before the contractions became any worse.

“You’re okay. I’ve got you, you’re going to be okay, my love. Let’s get you the rest of the way, before these get any worse.” You waited for Hela to nod before walking with her again, and as you rounded a corner, you called for the first maid you could see to send for the healers so that they’d come as soon as possible. By the time you’d reached the birthing suite and got Hela situated on the edge of the bed, a healer and a midwife were just behind you, and they began to fuss over Hela as you took a step back, knowing that they’d be of much more assistance for the time being than you would be.

While they got Hela changed into a proper birthing gown and settled into the freshly-made bed, you paced back and forth, worrying your hands in silence as you glanced over at Hela, anticipating another contraction to hit soon, and the moment that it did, you were at Hela’s side again, taking her hand in both of yours and allowing her to hold it as tightly as she needed.

“That’s it, my love… I’ve got you… You’re doing so well, I’m right here with you…” you cooed softly, keeping your voice as gentle as possible in an attempt to keep Hela as calm as possible. She was putting on a good show, but you knew she was much more nervous than she was letting on.

“With the contractions coming so closely together already, I suspect this will be a very quick affair, hardly more than a few hours or so,” the healer mused as she and the midwife got a few things ready for the birth.

You hesitated, looking from the healer to Hela and then back. “Is that a bad thing?”

“Not necessarily. Quick births can be easy, but they can also cause some damage, if we aren’t careful. We’ll keep a close eye on her, and make adjustments as necessary.”

You nodded slowly, and looked back to Hela, who had laid back against the pillows with her eyes closed, pretending not to listen. “…I’ll make sure she doesn’t stress herself out too much, as well. I’m sure that would only make things infinitely worse.”

The healer hummed in response, and she and the midwife both left the room to fetch a few more necessities for the birth, and with it just the two of you again, you went back over to Hela’s side, kneeling down next to her as you took her hand in yours.

“Hello, my love…” you murmured softly, pressing a kiss to the back of her hand, and Hela opened her eyes to look at you, brow already beaded with sweat as she mustered her best smile. “How are you feeling?”

“…as well as can be expected. Though I suppose I might be eating those words here in a little while.” She huffed out a humorless laugh, and you pressed another kiss to her hand.

“We’re going to take care of you. I promise. The healer says it might even be a quick birth.”

Hela was silent for a moment, and when she spoke, her voice was quiet. “I was a quick birth.”

“And things were much different then than they are now. Nothing’s going to happen to you, my love. I don’t even want you to consider that possibility. Okay?” When Hela said nothing, you squeezed her hand gently. “Okay?”

“…I make no promises.”

That was the best you were going to get, and you knew it.

“Well, let’s think about something else right now, okay? How about names? Are we decided on names yet? I really liked Sigrid for a girl.”

“And I liked Frey for a boy,” Hela admitted, and you were glad that she was at least responding to you instead of dwelling on her anxieties.

“Me, too. So we’re all set, then. And in a little while, we’ll have our happy, healthy little baby, and we’ll be the happiest little family there ever was.”

“How are you so calm about all of this?” Hela looked over at you, and you simply smiled softly, shrugging a shoulder.

“Well, I think it’s my duty, seeing as you have to do all of the real work today,” you teased, bringing her hand rest against your face. “And because if I’m not calm, I’d be a complete and total mess, and I can’t have my own kid knowing I’m a mess right from birth.”

Hela laughed softly at that, and that was all you had really wanted her to do, so you considered that a success.

“Besides. It’s only fair that I try being the calm one for once.”

“You say that as if I’ve ever had a calm moment in my life.”

You opened your mouth to tease her, but the words died on your lips as she gave an audible wince as another contraction hit her, and you held her hand tighter and gently urged her to keep breathing. Things seemed to be advancing rather quickly, and you were starting to get a little worried about it. The healers had said quick labor wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but that didn’t mean it wouldn’t be a bad thing for Hela, and that thought frightened you more than anything.

“…it feels like I’m ready to push,” Hela said after a moment, and you could see her shifting, no doubt trying to make herself more comfortable, but you hesitated, glancing back at the door and hoping the healer and midwife would return right that second.

“Darling, I… We should wait until they tell you to. It could be too soon.”

“Y/N, I don’t think that I… can…” she bit out, and before you could stop her, she was using her grip on your hand to help sit herself up so that she could push, and you were scrambling to put an arm around her to help support her, stumbling over your words as you desperately tried to talk her through something you’d yet to experience.

By the time Hela laid back against the pillows to rest again, you realized that you had a finite amount of time before the next contraction hit and Hela would try to push again, and you anxiously glanced to the door again, silently praying to the Norns that someone who knew what they were doing would come back. Less than a minute later, you were still alone, and given the way Hela’s grip had tightened on your hand again, she was having another contraction, and all you could do was help her be comfortable as she leaned forward to push again, quietly comforting her as she bit back a pained little cry.

“Hela, I… I don’t know what I’m doing, I-I have to… go get the healer or the midwife or… someone.”

Hela held your hand tighter in response. “Please don’t leave me. Please.” You looked over at her, and couldn’t handle the look of fear that had clouded her eyes. “I’m frightened.”

You swallowed thickly, and nodded, immediately racking your brain in an attempt to think of what the logical thing would be to do without having to leave Hela.

“Okay, um… Let me just… I’ll check to see how… how close the baby is to… meeting us.” You let go of her hand, but stayed as close as you could as you pushed the already-mussed bedsheets out of the way so that you could both have the bed clear of obstruction and be able to see what you were doing. You were far past being shy around Hela, but there was something more than a little awkward about the idea of having to visibly check for the baby, and you found yourself apologizing as you looked and, upon seeing nothing immediately visible, reached to feel for the baby’s head. “Ah… it feels… kind of close? Hela, I don’t know what I’m doing, and there’s… there’s blood, already.” You added the last part on carefully, aware that that would cause Hela more stress than she was already under, but Hela’s expression remained set and unreadable.

“…well, blood is… normal. It’s normal.” You weren’t sure if she was trying to convince herself or you, and by the time you had moved back to her side, she was panting her way through another contraction, and you dutifully helped her sit up, gently talking her through it, but this time, when she laid back against the pillows, she looked far more exhausted than she had been, and her face was starting to drain of color.

You were terrified.

“Hela? Hela, darling, what’s wrong? Talk to me, how are you feeling?”

Hela shrugged a single shoulder, and didn’t open her eyes, and you fought against the urge to panic.

“Hela, are you in pain?”

“Of course I’m in pain, I’m giving birth.” Hela’s voice lacked any true anger, but you couldn’t help but to feel bad all the same. You knew she was frustrated and hurting and tired, but things were a bit past the point of pretending everything was okay.

“I’m gonna check again, okay? Stay with me, yeah?”

Hela said nothing, but tilted her head to watch you, and you went back down to the foot of the bed, startling a little when you realized the baby was half-out already, eyes still closed and not making a sound, which worried you more than you could express. “Hela, it’s… the baby’s almost out, I think… I think one more push and you’ll be done.” You couldn’t help but to feel a little breathless as a wave of excitement, anxiety, and relief all rolled into one washed over you, and you looked back up to Hela. “I’m going to stay down here to, ah… to catch the baby, make sure they get out alright, okay? Are you okay?”

The answer you received was Hela sitting up to give one final push, one hand gripping at the headboard for leverage, and the other gripping the sheet beneath her, and you were momentarily overwhelmed with a sense of pride at how well Hela was doing, and how she had taken things into her own hands when she realized how quickly things were progressing. She was a force of nature, even here in the birthing suite.

You looked back down to focus on helping with the baby, gently pulling it the rest of the way out as Hela pushed, and you couldn’t help but to smile as you looked down at it, heart soaring with unadulterated adoration for the tiny little thing. “It’s a girl… Hela, it’s a girl.” No sooner had you finished saying that did you finally hear the sound of someone coming in, and you looked up at the door to see both the midwife and the healer standing there, towels in hand as they stared at you, looking about as shocked as you felt.

“Um… Hela had the baby,” you finally managed to get out, glancing back down at the bedsheets, and you tried not to think about how the sheets were beginning to stain red beneath your arms. “…there’s blood. There’s lots of blood. It all happened so fast, I-I…”

You glanced up at Hela, and you had a brief moment to take in her tired smile and pale face, and then she was falling back against the pillows, and it took everything in you not to call for her in pure fear. “Something’s wrong! Help her, please!”

Before you could even comprehend what was happening, the midwife was taking the baby from your hands, the healer was coming around the other side of the bed, and you found yourself being nudged away from where you’d been standing. As if in a daze, you looked back up at Hela before going back up beside her, taking her hand in both of yours.

“Hela? Hela, stay with me. Please, everything’s going to be okay now. The healers are back, just… stay with me, please.” You weren’t sure when you had begun to cry, but you couldn’t seem to stop. You looked down at Hela’s hand cupped in your bloodied ones, and swallowed thickly, willing her to squeeze them or even just hold them.

“Y/N…” Hela’s voice was weak, and you looked up at her so quickly that you felt your head spin a bit. “Take care of our daughter for me… Tell her our stories…”

You shook your head, pressing your lips to the back of her hand. “You’ll tell them to her. Hela, please, I… I can’t do this by myself.”

Hela only smiled, and the expression was so peaceful and calm that you thought your heart might stop beating right in your chest.

“Hela. Hela.” You looked down at the healer. “Please, she’s dying!”

“We’ve almost got her stable. Keep talking to her, keep her awake.”

You looked back up at Hela, and when you found her eyes closed, you cupped her face, turning her to look at you. “Hela. Hela, look at me… We’re not through with you yet, do you hear me? This world is not through with you. I need you. Our daughter needs you. I know you want to rest right now, and I promise you can soon, just… stay with me,” you whimpered, relaxing only slightly when she opened her eyes to look at you again. “Stay with us. Hela, we love you so much. I love you so much. You’re all I have left. Please, I’m not ready for goodbye yet. Not when we’ve just barely said hello.”

Hela said nothing, and you couldn’t decide if that was good or bad, but she was still awake, and that was the most important thing, so you continued to talk to her, begging her to stay with you and telling her about all the things you’d do together with the baby. You talked and talked until you finally felt a hand on your shoulder, and you couldn’t help the shock of worry that jolted through you, fearing the worst as you turned to look at the healer.

“She’s stable. We managed to stop the bleeding, and with some bedrest and some time, she’ll be good as new.”

You stared at her blankly while the news processed, and then nodded, tears still running down your face. “Thank you. Thank you, I am forever indebted to you.”

The healer only patted your shoulder, and then turned to the midwife, who had bundled up the baby in a blanket and was now holding her back out to you.

With a careful smile, you took the baby back from her, getting your first real look at her without the blood and afterbirth. She had Hela’s hair, and her eyes, and was looking up at you with such a calm, collected demeanor that you were almost certain she had inherited that straight from Hela, as well.

“…Y/N?” The sound of Hela’s soft voice was enough to get you to turn back to look at her, and you gave her a watery smile as you tiptoed closer to her, holding the baby so that she could see her.

“Isn’t she perfect? Our sweet little angel.” You gently sat yourself on the edge of the bed, being mindful not to shift Hela too much. “Do you think you can hold her, or do you want to get some rest first?” You took the opportunity to get a good look at her, and felt your heart sink at the fact that she still looked extremely pale and half-alive. You couldn’t believe how close you had come to losing her, and knew that you weren’t out of the woods just yet, and so you made the decision for her. “How about you get some rest first, hm? Take a nice little nap. We’ll both stay right here with you, and as soon as you wake up, you can hold her. How does that sound?”

Hela nodded slowly, and you could tell it was an effort just for her to do that much. “…I’m sorry that I scared you.”

You managed a weak smile, and reached over with your free hand to tuck her hair out of her face. “I don’t think I’ve ever been more scared in my entire life. But you’re here now. And you’re not going anywhere. Not for a very, very long time.” You leaned forward to kiss her forehead gently. “Am I understood?”

Hela gave a faint smile, still managing to look up at you with nothing but adoration, even after everything. “Perfectly.”

You smiled a little more, and pressed another kiss to her forehead, and then her nose. “Sleep now. And I’ll clean you up as best I can while you rest, okay?”

Hela nodded again, and gave one last, long look at the baby. “I love you. Both of you, now. And I’ll see you when I wake.”

“Hela, how much longer is the hurricane supposed to last?” you whined, flopping yourself back down across the bed, where Hela sat reclined against the headboard with a book in her lap.

She laughed softly, placing a finger on the page to keep track of where she was as she turned her head to look at you. “Darling, it’s a hurricane. And this is only the outer bands. We’re only just getting started and already you complain so.”

“I knew we shouldn’t have moved to Florida,” you grumbled, crossing your arms over your chest as you stared up at the ceiling overhead, mildly curious as to when it might start to go out. With the rains and the winds as bad as they were already, you were a little surprised it hadn’t started to flicker already.

Hela hummed softly and turned back to her book, even as she responded. “You wanted to be near the beach, darling. And wouldn’t accept the beaches literally anywhere else except for Florida.”

“A most grievous err in judgment,” you lamented, heaving another dramatic sigh. When Hela gave no response, you glanced at her out of the corner of your eye, and realized she was right back to reading.

Well, that just wouldn’t do.

How were you supposed to cure your boredom when your wife wouldn’t even stop reading long enough to placate you in your moment of self-pity?

In response to Hela’s lack of response, you heaved another sigh, keeping one eye peeked open to see if she’d acknowledge you again, and when she didn’t, you rolled yourself over so that you were on your stomach, laying your head in her lap just so so that you were covering the book.

Hela looked at you with more fondness than anything else, and you couldn’t decide if that was or wasn’t what you wanted.

“I’m bored.”

“I can tell.” Hela carded her fingers through your hair gently, and you valiantly, though unsuccessfully, fought against the urge to arch into her touch, the softest sigh escaping through parted lips.

“Well, what do you want me to do about that, darling?”

You twisted your lips to the side as you considered that, all while Hela continued to play with your hair gently, and you couldn’t help the mischievous little grin that spread across your face, even as you shrugged innocently.

“I dunno…”

Hela caught on immediately. You could tell in the way the corner of her mouth curled upward as she tried to suppress a smirk.

“Read with me, then. Sit up.” She shifted her legs a bit in an attempt to get you to move, and you whined as you tried to maintain your proximity to her.

“Nooooooo.”

“No? What if I read out loud to you? You always like when I read to you.” Hela’s tone of voice made it very clear that she knew reading was the last thing on your mind right now, and it infuriated you that she was besting you at the game that you had initiated.

Time for retaliation.

“No.”

And with that, you took the book from her lap and closed it before tossing it over onto the bedside table, giving yourself a brief moment to be impressed that you actually managed to make it land properly.

Hela watched the book as you threw it, and let her gaze linger on it even as it landed with a thud, and when she turned back to you, she was wearing one of those smirks that both excited you and made you a little nervous in the best way possible.

“Well, that was very naughty of you, Y/N.”

You smiled innocently, laying your head back down in her lap as you looked up at her. “I’m just trying to get my wife’s attention.”

Hela huffed out a soft laugh as she rolled her eyes playfully, reaching back down to thread her fingers through your hair again, and your breath caught in anticipation, despite her gentle demeanor.

“By being naughty,” she emphasized again, and before you could argue your case, her grip in your hair tightened, not enough to hurt, but enough to let you know that she was very much taking charge in whatever was coming next.

You had little time to react, in the end, as the next moment she had used her grip to pull you up so that she could kiss you, hard, and you melted into her, letting your body fill in the empty space that remained between the two of you until you were pressed together.

When Hela finally pulled away, you were breathless, and she tugged her hand enough so that your head was pulled back, baring your neck. All you could do was grin in response, and Hela seemed pleased with the reaction, as she immediately leaned forward to trail hot, wet kisses along your jaw and down your throat, lingering just below your pulse point so that she could leave you with a hickey that had you squirming and whining as you desperately tried to press yourself closer, trying to find just the right angle to relieve the pressure that had already started to build between your legs.

Hela was all too aware of this, though, and as soon as you tried to straddle her thigh, she pulled back, her grip sliding from your hair to wrap around your throat with just enough pressure to get her point across. You tried another innocent little smile, but the way Hela’s eyes had darkened left you realizing that you had gotten yourself into exactly the situation you had secretly been hoping for.

“Ah-ah-ah. Not so fast. I don’t think you’ve been a good enough girl for that just yet.”

She didn’t need to clarify. You were very aware you weren’t getting any sort of satisfaction anytime soon. Not the kind that you craved.

You gave her your best pout in response, still feigning innocence while you could, but when you opened your mouth to speak, Hela tightened the hand around your neck just a fraction more, and the words died on your tongue as you allowed yourself to be subdued.

“You know the deal. Bad girls get the restraints. Now do I need to get them myself, or can you be a good enough girl to get them for me?” Hela spoke in a soft tone, but it was laced with a power that you knew she relished having over you, and if you were being honest, it made you very hot and bothered, and you nodded fervently, desperate to do whatever it took to get Hela to give you what you wanted.

Hela let go of you, and you scrambled to the opposite side of the bed to open the drawer on your bedside table, well aware that you were being watched like a hawk, and as you dug around for the silk ties that Hela favored most, you couldn’t help the eagerness that was bubbling up. You were getting exactly what you wanted. You just had to hope Hela wasn’t going to make you suffer too awfully.

As soon as you found what you were looking for, you nudged the drawer closed again and held the ties out to Hela, and as soon as she took them from you, you laid yourself out on the bed without another word.

Hela seemed to be amused by this, given the glint in her eye and the way her lips curved into a smirk. “Oh, she does know how to behave. When she wants to, hm?”

You only grinned and obediently, putting your wrists together and holding them above your head so that Hela could tie you to the headboard, and you fought the urge to wiggle in sheer excitement. You hadn’t had a night like this in a while, and the very thought of what playful tortures might be to come was enough to have you pressing your legs together in a meager attempt to provide some sort of friction for yourself.

This did not go unnoticed by Hela, who smirked as she sat back on the bed, quirking her eyebrow as she watched you. “Regretting misbehaving, sweet girl?”

You hesitated, only because you weren’t sure if it was in your best interest to agree with her or be defiant. Both had their perks, but you weren’t sure which would work out most in your favor.

Eventually, you settled on a pitiful little nod, hoping it would ply Hela into being a little more lenient with her punishment and get her to touch you sooner, but judging by the way her eyes flashed for just a second with dark amusement, you regretted your decision immediately.

“Maybe you should have thought about that before acting out, hm?”

You whined, pressing your legs together a little more firmly, but Hela made a quiet, scolding little sound in the back of her throat as she shifted on the bed, situating herself so that her knees were between your legs, but nowhere near enough to give you any pressure. In fact, she had placed them in just the right place to keep them spread but not provide you any relief whatsoever.

“You’re being so bad tonight, darling. And it’s hurting you more than it’s hurting me.” She grinned, a wicked little smirk of a smile that left you more turned on that you already were, if that were even possible. Hela watched you for a short moment, eyes narrowing as she let her gaze fall unabashedly to the space between your legs. “I bet if I were to touch you right now, I’d find you dripping wet already, is that right, darling?”

This time, you purposely didn’t answer, hoping she’d find out for herself and give you just a moment of relief. It would cost you, you were certain, but you were desperate and needy.

Just as you hoped, Hela responded by reaching forward, cupping your sex through your arousal-dampened pajama shorts as she hummed softly to herself.

“Darling, you’re soaking. Whatever shall we do to fix that, hm?”

Your response was involuntary, and you regretted it as soon as you made it. One single roll of your hips against her hand, and Hela had withdrawn from you, leaving you with nothing to grind against again as she watched you squirm.

“So pitiful. It’s adorable,” Hela cooed, reaching up to tuck your hair out of your face as you pouted. “Now, now. No sad faces. All you have to do is be a good girl, and you’ll get exactly what you’re after.”

You only pouted more, giving a pitiful little nod, and hoping that it would win Hela over.

It didn’t.

Not in the way you wanted, anyway.

She didn’t touch you again, but she did lean over you and kiss you, so deeply that she was all that you could feel and smell and taste, and you whimpered into it, feeling your hips involuntarily grind into thin air, as though that would provide you any real sort of relief. You had hoped that Hela might have unintentionally angled herself close enough to you to grind against, but it seemed she was all-too-aware of the both of your positions, and had managed to keep her legs where they were while still leaning herself over you.

It was maddening.

You were enamored with her.

You whined when she pulled away from you, but you had little time to be pouty, as the next moment she was back to leaving wet kisses down your throat, pulling the sleeve of your sleepshirt down so that she could have better access to your collarbone and shoulder, and despite yourself, your hips continued to grind against nothing, and involuntary reaction that you couldn’t seem to get control over.

“Darling, you’re pitiful…” Hela murmured, and you realized that she was also aware of your current embarrassing predicament. “If you want something, beg for it.”

“Please?” you whimpered, knowing that that wouldn’t be nearly enough for Hela to give in to you.

As you expected, she only laughed, a soft little sound with an edge of darkness that left you even more aroused. “Please what, darling? We haven’t got all day, and the longer you take to use your big girl words, the longer you don’t get to come.” Hela sat up a bit, so that she was sitting back on her heels again, but she let her hands stay where they rested at your hips, fingers curled around them to hold you in place as you fought against the urge to continue to squirm.

You immediately decided that it was in the both of your best interests to quit beating around the bush and get down to business, and so you looked up at her, allowing her to see the pure arousal and adoration in your gaze as you whined softly.

“Please fuck me…” you whimpered, and then for good measure, added in a much breathier voice, “I need you.”

The response was immediate. In one fluid motion, Hela had pulled down both your shorts and your underwear and had tossed them aside, shifting herself forward so that you were now propped up in her lap. Before you could even process that she had done as much, she had pressed two fingers into you, curling them in just the right way to leave you sobbing with relief as you began to thrust your hips to meet her movements.

Hela wasted no time in speeding her movements up, and you couldn’t help the breathless little whimpers and whines that escaped you as you arched your back to get a better angle, hands gripping at the silk ties just so that you had some sort of purchase. When she leaned back down to kiss you, you met her with equal fervor, gasping when she nipped at your bottom lip in an attempt to kiss you more deeply.

With you unable to use your hands to get Hela to stay how you wanted her, you wrapped your legs around her waist, making sure she still had enough room to continue thrusting into you, and Hela responded by wrapping her free arm around your waist, holding you close and angling you so that with each thrust of her hand, you were left whimpering and keening into her mouth.

When you finally came, it was hard, and it left your entire body shaking as Hela continued to press into you, and when you realized that she wasn’t going to stop until you came again, you couldn’t decide if that was a wonderful thing or a terribly wicked thing for her to do.

In the end, you lost track of just how many times you ended up coming, your head spinning and mind so foggy that you could hardly remember your own or tell up from down. You felt completely spent and exhausted in the best way, and by the time Hela finally withdrew, all you could manage was to slump back against the bed as you watched her lick each finger clean as she kept her gaze locked on you.

God, your wife was so hot.

“…did you hear me?” Hela’s soft voice broke you out of whatever silent contemplation you had been stuck in, and you were embarrassed to realize you hadn’t heard whatever she’d said.

Your expression must have made that much clear, and Hela smiled softly as she leaned down to kiss your forehead gently. “I said are you alright, darling?”

You hummed softly and nodded. “I’m perfect.”

“Let’s get you untied, hm?” Hela reached above you to untie the restraints, and at that exact moment, you heard a loud gust of wind and the lights flickered and then went out, leaving you in semi-darkness.

You couldn’t help but to laugh at the timing.

“Well… I think we know how to pass the time while we’re without electricity…”