you're no fun

-Ruffles her brows slightly.- Is it something I said?

No.

Yeah well I get all Zero about it! Humph. -Glares at him slightly before responding.- The clovers go on the doors, and the streamers go on the walls.

[mutters] Zero's not as scary as Jack... [gives her a sweet smile] You got it, dude. And where's my dick go?

Lemme see.

Firstly, I don't celebrate Arbor Day. That's ridiculous. Secondly, Jack does it all the time and you never had a problem with it before.

Good, you fuckin' better not. Jack's different. I can't make fun of him for his weird shit, he gets all Jack about it! [sighs loudly] Alright, what in this box is going where?

Lock come on. What’s the matter?

Nothing I wanna talk to you about. 

…I guess not.

Good answer, in that case I have a job for you.

A job?

Dude, did you die?

...I guess not.

So I’ve been told. Come on Lock. Lay it on me.

No.

-Smacks his head with a giant paper four leaf clover.- Well I do. So stop judging. Judgy McJudgerson.

[grabs it from her] Look at this! It's a fuckin' giant, fake plant that you're not even gonna put in your house like rich dicks do, you're gonna hang it up like a crazy person! I'm not gonna stop judging. Everything about you is fuckin' awesome except for this shit, this is too much man. Halloween, I get. Christmas, I get. But St. Patricks Day? If you decorate for Arbor Day, I am calling quits on this friendship right here and fuckin' now.

-Pokes his cheek.- You reek of bullshit.

[swats her hand away] You reek of... Of nosiness. 

No dummy head. Doesn’t mean I can’t decorate. Gosh it’s like you don’t even know me.

No sane person decorates for St. Patricks Day, Z. [shakes his head] And people are gonna see me doing it!

Well then what’s the matter mister Grumpy face?

[kinda wiggles his shoulders to nudge her off of him] Nothing. 

For St. Patrick’s Day of course! Duh.

You're not even Irish, are you?

People use Pinterest for tattoo ideas? I thought that was just for crafts, I’ll definitely have to look that up. -she pauses, smiling- Well, I might have to take you up on that offer… you’ve made a very convincing argument. -she shrugs- Yes, sometimes in my spare time, but it’s nothing really special.

I think so. At least, my one friend does. [grins really super big] Seriously? Dude, no way! That's the best thing anyone's said to me in forever! Naw, c'mon, I bet it fuckin' rocks. Can I see?

Great. You call me Lettie, and I’ll call you Logan. [she pauses] Better than being disappointed, I guess.

Or, I call you Violet and you call me Lock? Perfect, deal! Yeah, exactly! 

-Leans against him.- Nooooope.

Zero. I'm not in the mood, c'mon!