blep

what you don’t see can’t hurt you (bank account)

“what’s stopping you from-“ listen i am so so sleepy

When youre a kid youre like wtf adults are making themselves sick with poisons and when youre an adult youre like i need more poisons ASAP

Unfair of my job to expect me to show up when I have arts and also crafts to do

Me thinking why a whale (big) would eat krill (small) and then I remembered rice (yum)

so few people appreciate the wisdom I have to offer.........

ragebaiting lemonade stand owner with one simple order

this too shall pass but the fuck was that for

Evil Shakespeare be like: MacDeath

doing things at the right age is literally a made up concept. you can start/pursue anything at any age. btw.

Humans will say "I guess I could have pizza tonight but I had pizza on Thursday and I don't really want pizza twice in the same week" and dogs will say "Oh boy the exact same gub I've been fed for every meal of my entire life homf homhf chomfhh homhomhomhomhomh"

hurr hurr I'm a human body hurr hurr I'm gonna solve all my problems using mucus

"i require more fluids" well what did you do with the fluids I already gave you. hmm? did you make more mucus with them? you made more mucus with them.

this post genuinely helps me when i'm sick because it reminds me to slime it up

We used to make posts about loki on here

I love this post so much. “we used to make posts about loki on here” is the gentlest way possible to describe this website’s history. It’s like saying einstein dabbled in science