local grandma

i'm not actually mad i just like the comedic delivery of righteous but pointless anger

"he is not my president" bumper sticker with a picture of some random guy that has never been president

Warm bread. You agree. Reblog

I like to slip subliminal messages go out with me into all of my text posts

You are angry about something. “Clam down,” I text you. You assume I have made a typo, but in fact I am holding a small soldier clam in my hands. He died so young. War is hell

it’s quick, it’s easy and it’s free:  pouring river water in your socks

why would i do that lmao

it’s quick, it’s easy and it’s free

if I was a wizard I suppose I would keep sandwiches inside of my pointy hat

no offense but I’ve never gotten over anything that’s happened to me in my life