Lobo Ink

(March 2, 2006)

I was invited to a wedding that’s this Saturday (March 7th), and like usual, I leave it to the last minute to find an appropriate outfit. My bestie is also going and her dress is pink (not sure what shade no matter how many times I ask her) and she told me to look for a pink tie. I hate wearing ties (I had to wear one for my 7th grade graduation and that was horrible), so finding a pink tie feels impossible (especially at the last minute). Instead, I decided to look for a polo shirt in pink but more on the rose gold – nude shades. I was able to find a perfect one at Walmart that I actually liked! When it came to looking for pants, I was flabbergasted when I saw that the pants were $30! I’m not a rich girlie so $30 for a pair of pants was crazy!!! Yes, they were very nice pants, but still!

Side note: I went to GoodWill previously, and while I found a cute plushie of a Christmas avocado, I couldn’t find dress pants in my size!!! I spent hours looking through them all, but they were either too small or too big! Uggghhh. Why can’t jeans be considered formal wear??!!!!

I was also getting confused cause I didn’t know if chinos and khakis were acceptable, but I think I’ll stick with dress pants. I feel like my gay card will be revoked cause my sense of fashion is abysmal. Thankfully, I’m not fashion blind (hopefully).

I’m still on the hunt for reasonably priced dress pants, but if I can’t find any in time, I’ll have to spend that $30 uggh.

After that, I went to the grocery store to restock the freezer. I like to put frozen chicken nuggets in the oven than the microwave (it just tastes so much better baked). I used to get them at Walmart until they raised the prices so I was getting them at FoodMaxx. Well to my horror, FoodMaxx decided to increase the prices on the chicken nuggets I get!!!! WHYYYYYYY!!!!!! I’m not made of money!!!!

Needless to say, I was very upset.

I was listening to Ariana Grande’s 7 Rings song to calm my spirits. As I had it on repeat, it got me thinking about this expensive era we’re in right now. I decided to make a parody! I’ve never written a song before, let alone a parody, so this was very interesting to dabble in. I tried my best to keep it in the same beat. I just did it for the laughs. I can’t get sued for this, right?

7 Ringpops (Parody)

[Verse 1]

Breakfast is pricey, no puedo con huevos,

Grocery receipts be lookin like suenos.

Lattes and bagels? Ay, guey, que dolor

Treating myself is a luxury chore.

Bills hit me daily, I’m losing mi calma,

Should be un desastre, pero tengo alma.

Rather be broke than losing my mind,

Writing mis crisis con ritmo y with pride, yeah.

[Pre-Chorus]

My rent keeps climbing, mi check is tiny,

I try to budget, pero no hay money.

You like my fit? Gee, thanks – Goodwill gurl.

I see it, I like it, I want it, can’t get it. (Yeah)

[Chorus]

I want it, can’t get it, I want it, can’t get it.

I want it, can’t get it, I want it, can’t get it.

You like my fit? Gee, thanks, Goodwill gurl.

I see it, I like it, I want it, can’t get it.

[Verse 2]

Wearing a ring, but it’s from the remate,

Bought matching coupons pa mi y mis chicas.

Spoiling mis friends with my broke-girl riches,

Gas prices got me in stitches.

Whoever said money don’t solve your problemas

Nunca pago renta ni vio los precios.

They ask me “which one?” and I’m like “ninguno,”

Happiness costs more than my Costco runs.

[Pre-Chorus]

My smile is tired (yeah), my card is crying (is crying),

The way it screams, I know you’ve heard it (you’ve heard it).

I want a house just for (just for) mis cosas (mis cosas),

But hasta entonces, I want it, can’t got it, yeah.

[Chorus]

I want it, can’t get it, I want it, can’t get it.

I want it, can’t get it, I want it, can’t get it.

You like my fit? Gee, thanks, Goodwill gurl.

I see it, I like it, I want it, can’t get it.

[Verse 3]

Yeah, my receipts be lookin like phone numbers,

If it ain’t discounts, then wrong number.

Broke-girl is my aesthetic card,

The way it be setting the tone so hard.

I don’t mean to cry, but I be like “can I put it back,” yeah.

When I see the price, I’m like “nope, that’s a trap,” yeah.

Shoot go from the store to the couch,

Manifest money in one pouch, gimme the luck.

Never mind, I got the jokes,

Nothing but vibes when we’re broke.

Look at my rent, look at my debt

Ain’t got enough money to pay me respect.

Ain’t no budget when life is a test,

If I like it, pues maybe next check, yeah.

[Chorus]

I want it, can’t get it, I want it, can’t get it.

I want it, can’t get it, I want it, can’t get it.

You like my fit? Gee, thanks, Goodwill gurl.

(March 1, 2026) (Late)