dead inside

I once told you that I’ll write for you, that I’ll write about you. No sugarcoated words, only what’s true.

I tried, but failed. Not because you aren’t worthy nor special, but because you make me happy.

I guess I can only write for the things that make me sad. But now that I’m writing, this is bad.

Maybe the reason why I’m writing this right now is because you turned from something that makes me happy into something that makes me sad.

Whenever I think of us, it’s like the feelings together with the pain that you left are gonna combust.

The thought of you and I. You and I never getting back together, it makes me want to die.

You turned “I love you” that once sounded like a lullaby into a painful and bitter “good bye.”

I think of you every night before I sleep. Surrounded by sorrow, I close my eyes and long for you whom I thought I could keep.

Why did you have to leave when I know I could’ve given you the love that you need?

Why did you have to say your sad goodbye when all I wanted was for us to stay on the high?

I once told you that I’ll write for you, that I’ll write about you. No sugarcoated words, only what’s true.

I tried and this time, I succeeded.

In my sleep, I remember you and I ask myself, where did your promises go?

As I lay down, I remember us and I ask myself, what happened to us?

As I close my eyes, tears start to pile up and I ask myself, till when will this pain last?

As I cry, I remember how happy we were and I ask myself, will that ever happen again?

And as I stop crying, I realize that everything has an end, everything including us.

I miss your curly hair, so curly and soft that I cannot stop playing with it. Your plump lips, together with the smile that makes everything lit.

The smile that forms in your eyes, as you say the things that you like the most. Your cheeks so red, as red as a rose.

The sound of your voice resonating all over the room, making me feel at ease, keeping away the gloom.

Your lovely scent that I can smell all day, all night. Your presence that makes me feel protected, making everything alright.

Your hand entangled with mine. Your body against my body when it’s past nine.

Your kiss, so good and full of love, I don’t know it’s just the best. Your touch, damn I really love it when you start to caress.

And most of all, I miss you. But the thing is, you’re too good to be true.

One day he’ll find you One day he’ll come back to you One day he’ll realize how much he loves you One day he’ll regret losing you One day he’ll beg to you One day he’ll come back to you One day he’ll find you

Me: *receives text*

Me: *swipes it away*