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First thing the sales guy did after I laid down the rules was turn to Sean and go, "What's your number?" And Sean said. "Oh, no, you negotiate with Gayle."

So, strike one for the sales guy. Could not divide and conquer us by implying THE MAN would not surprised at what I laid down.

Sales guy then had to confer with his manager and left us at his desk for several minutes. I have a vague recollection (this was 16 years ago) of Sean and I amusing ourselves doing bits about the other people there to look at cars. I am sure we did not give off the stressed or nervous energy they were hoping for.

Guy comes back. His first offer is fifty dollars a month more than I told him we could pay. I looked at him and said "I gave you our upper limit."

"Well, but what's another 50 bucks a month?"

"Something I can't afford."

He didn't know what to do with my open and unashamed admittal that I had a budget because my money was finite.

He went back to talk to the manager again.

It took two more rounds of "I told you what I can afford" before he finally came back 20 bucks under what I'd stated as my max.

Lemme tell you that sales people are like the fae folk in the old tales.

They are beholden to the magic number 3. Refuse a sales pitch three times and they are trained to give up. They are trained in many ways to "redirect a refusal", but three refusals means it's time for them to give up.

They cannot enter your home without your permission. But once given in any form, permission is tough to claw back.

They truly fear a failed deal. Sale folk feed on the magic of forging contracts. If they cannot meet their quota, they will starve.

sales people are like the fae

folk in the old tales.

Pekoponian grade A suit~

If one day you woke up without any memories of Loki, the first thing you'd see would be Loki's fist headed towards the doctor's face.

You are horrified. Who is that giant brute. Am I in danger? That is your first thought.

Afterwards, when you are told that that fuming mountain among mountains of a man is actually your HUSBAND, you faint.

fuck.

Your second thought.

Loki is desperate. And when he's desperate what little patience he has goes straight out of the window. He tries every trick in the book to make you remember him, of the life you built together, and when those doesn't work? He gets angry and breaks something. It's like watching a giant toddler throwing a tantrum when things don't go his way.

That's not helping his case. Your third thought.

But under that mask of anger, all that desperation, all that violence; he is miserable. You can see it in the way his face falls for a second when he briefly loses control of his temper again, the way his shoulderss slightly slump with guilt. The faint tremor in his voice that he quickly corrects when he makes a hurtful jab at anything that crosses his path.

You have severe doubts about going home with him, wherever that is. Let's be real, you don't know this giant man that towers over every other giant that already tower over you, and he has shown to be very prone to violence and behaving like an asshole to everyone surrounding him when slightly inconvenienced. But a nagging feeling at the back of your head makes you reconsider. Maybe is the thin sheen of sweat in his forehead, maybe is the way he gulps nervously, maybe is the way his large palm slightly trembles when he offers it to you. Maybe is the fake air of confidence and arrogance that protect a deeply wounded and fragile being.

You end up going home with him.

Home turns out to be a quaint cabin in the Underworld's forest, hidden from any prying eyes and protected by a swarm of wild beasts that turn into puppies when you are around. (Somehow I have the thought that Loki wouldn't want to live in the castle, given that's the place he was forced to kill his dad, if my memory doesn't fail me). You are greeted there by three humongous children, larger than a full grown man but tiny in comparison to the man currently holding you in his hand. And a squirrel, who is actually a hammer, and it's the family's pet.

Those are your children.

Your fourth thought would be how?.

They are beautiful children though.

I'm not going to sugarcoat this, but the recovery process is hard. You feel like a guest in your own home, a stranger to your own family, and that fills you with inmense guilt and sadness. What kind of parent doesn't remember their own children? What kind of wife cannot look at her husband's face? You feel like you should try harder to rememer, you should push your psyche to its limit until your memories flow back and you stop seeing those sad faces. Until Loki stops heading out fuming with anger everytime you fail to piece the puzzle together. (He goes out to cry. You know, the children know, eveyone in Elbaph knows. Just do not mention it to him.)

Yet the memories don't come.

Until one day something happens.

You are out in the snow, on top of Ragnir's head watching two your children throw each other snowballs bigger than a human house, when you see him arrive.

He's carrying a bunch of logs in one arm, well, actually, those are whole trees. His muscles flexing with the effort, even though they seem to weigh very little to him. He's carrying your third child, the youngest one, effortlessly in the palm of his free hand. Loki's nodding quietly to everything they are babbling to him.

Why is he allowed to go shirtless when he has a body like that? If you knew better (you don't) you'd say he's putting on a show for you.

And your 325435th thought of the month is: d a m n

followed by

you two, laying on the ground, well he is laying on the ground, you're just chilling on that glorious chest he has, staring up at him. You are laughing, you think you are laughing, if the way your eyes crinckle and your shoulders shake are any indication; while he's looking midly panicked, of course you're not surprised since you just told him he is going to be a dad-

A brief glimpse, a tiny peek of a past that eluded you, a past so beautiful and bright that it nearly moved you to tears. Because as quick as that flash of memory has been, it carries something that you thought you had lost, hope. Maybe your memories are still there after all.

"The fuck you smiling at, huh?" Despite his harsh words, his voice carries the tiniest hint of a smile. He carelessly throws the logs to the ground, causing a small earthquake.

"Nothing at all." You return the smile. Your youngest squeals in delight. He sits next to you to watch the most epic of all epic snowball fights.

"I just think I have a wonderful life."

Loki will love any sons he has with you, of course; but Little Ida... That's his sweet girl right there, his tiny princess. He would grab the moon and stars for her if she just asked.

He will rough house your boys, but his Ida is made of glass. What do you mean letting her play with the other giant kids? Aren't you aware they are nothing but brutes? (Affectionate, to his boys; derogatory to everyone else)

"I would never do you like that" and then he's like

🧍🏻‍♂️ "why am I thinking that"

And then they break up or connor talks them into realizing the relationship is dead and he feels like this is his chance

It’s giving boyfriend by Olivia Roderigo lololol

Connor having a crush is just normal friendly Connor but he smiles more and hangs around a little longer than he used to. It’s almost imperceptible. Almost. Maybe it’s because he’s scared of saying the wrong thing whenever you’re around.

The first time you mention your significant other, Hank literally scoffs, rolling his eyes with a snarky “you’re still giving that piece of shit the time of day?”

And Connor is confused because you never mentioned someone before. It kinda... puts him off, but he can't pinpoint why.

When he learns that your partner is an actual piece of shit, he gets angry. How could anyone treat you like that? Someone that supposedly cares about you? You? You're perfect. How could anyone do anything but be devoted to you? A romantic relationship is supposed to make you stronger or something something he doesn't really understand. But this? This is unacceptable. It's on sight.

He would never treat you like that. It's not a thought that bothers him at first, because that's not part of his program- to be such an asshole like that. It's when he starts thinking about how he would treat you in place of your current partner that he starts to panic. That's definitely not something he should be thinking about. But he can't turn those feelings off.

The breaking point is when you confide in him that your SO wants you to quit your job. Something about their ego or whatever. Very carefully, he tells you that that is a huge red flag and that you should reconsider the validity of this relationship. You have soooo many better options *wink wink nudge nudge* and you laugh, not in an amused way. You took those domestic abuse trainings too.

So, when he gets a call on a random Tuesday night, he's shocked to hear your voice, shaky with tears explaining that you broke up and that your ex-partner kicked you out in the middle of a storm.

Why his thirium pump reacts oddly when you’re close. Beats harder.

Why he replays footage of you smiling more often than necessary.

He understands emotions now. It’s been a while since he deviated. But this?

This is something more.

And when Hank catches him staring at you one day, with an expression that is far too soft for a machine once built to be emotionless, the old detective just sighs.

“Kid, you’ve got it bad.”

Connor blinks. “…I do not understand.”

pre-revolution!connor rk800 who doesnt have free will yet, so he hopes everyday that you would get assigned to the deviant case with him and hank. he swears its not a deviant trait, he just.. admires your work ethic.

pre-revolution!connor rk800 who will always make you a cup of coffee. he memorized what time you come into work everyday and how you like your coffee in the hopes that it would catch your attention.

pre-revolution!connor rk800 who, when you do finally get assigned to the deviant case with him and hank, couldn't be happier. he briefed you on every new case and even sat in the back of hanks car with you to "better share information" with you ;)

post-revolution!connor rk800 who was so excited that he could finally live free, like a real human could. he was released from wearing the same jacket everyday and was open to figuring out what his style is. he even wnt out shopping with you to many different stores to find clothes hed like.

post-revolution!connor rk800 who comes over to your apartment almost everyday of the week, watching different movie genres, figuring out which one he likes. so far, his favorite has been men in black.

post-revolution!connor rk800 who ends up moving into your apartment, carving out a drawer and closet space just for him. with two stable incomes from government jobs, you could afford to upgrade and get a small home with reasonable rent.

post-revolution!connor rk800 who cooks breakfast for you on the weekends, making many core memories seeing your sleepy happy face come to greet him.