elizabeth chase olsen

See, I feel like that awkward situation could’ve been spun into one that was smooth as fuck if you’d have just dropped a line like “if you wanna take me out dancing, just buy me a drink first”, but then again maybe don’t take advice from me, because we both know my entire existence is awkward. 

Evan, I’m pretty sure that we are both awkward and there’s nothing the both of us can change that. You at least have some hope, my friend. Okay, yeah no. This girl would have totally died from embarrassment if that line fell out of my lips. Please tell me that has worked for you, hasn’t it? I want to know if that was the start of the most romantic love story ever told.

I’ve always wondered if I’d be able to pull off the British accent. That does sound pretty awesome though. Nice and calming, which I definitely need sometimes. But then I feel like I’d miss the big city feel pretty quickly.

You could always get an accent coach or even immerse yourself in the country for a while. I know that accent coaches tend to help out a lot when you’re wanting to pull something off without being insensitive to that particular culture. There’s a lot of things you can do in the city that you can’t particularly do in the countryside, agreed. Sometimes you just need the Gigabyte Internet, right?

I’m pretty sure I spend my life making other people feel awkward because I do ridiculous things. Like my Grinch face, I have really scared some people off with that one. I can’t believe you went to a whole ass new restaurant instead of eating there though. Wow.

The dead was already done and people were already looking and staring. Would much rather go to another restaurant where they don’t know what I did. Yep. I’ll eventually go back to the bistro. Maybe in a year or two. Just to be safe. Wow, Grinch face? Can you please describe? I’m much more curious now than anything else.

One time, I was in Italy and at a party. The next day the newspapers were reporting I was dating this 45 year old man when in fact…..it was my agent with me in the picture and we were just talking 🙃

The worst part is that you have to read it and then depending on people around you, you have to explain or laugh. People are always going to look for whatever is not there. Did you have to explain that to anyone else?

How…okay- answer me this. How do you think they looked at the back of your head as you did a U-turn right out the front door of the bistro after you got it in your head you’d feel better just going elsewhere? I think doing the Carlton with someone and then leaving without getting anything is way more embarrassing then just waiting in line and cursing yourself out in your car after you get your food. I would, but i’m not embarrassing. Everything I do is perfect. 

....why would you do this to me? Why do you hate me? Chris, seriously. Now I can’t ever go back to that Bistro ever again. What if they remember me as the freak-out girl who just does a stupid dance with someone and then runs away? There has to be something, Evans. No funny embarrassing stories from your past at all?

I think that little dance happens to just about everyone so you’re not alone in that.

But an awkward story about myself? Definitely the time I thought someone recognised me when in reality they were heading for their friend behind me. It was…. very awkward. Although I’m not sure anyone but me was bothered by it.

Okay, that has to be one of the most god awful things to happen. Moments like that just stick with you for the rest of your life. The only the thing that happens to get rid of that is by having another awkward encounter. Do you want a hug?

I’ve done the ‘are you going this way? Oh, that way? Okay, I’ll go thi-yeah, we’re going the same way again’ dance many times. The best thing you can do is just chuckle it off. I can’t think of an awkward story off the top of my head because..well, I’m perfect, Elizabeth. Nothing about me is awkward.

No, I’m kidding. I’ve had many moments in the gym lately trying to show off and lifting up extra heavy weights only to make very embarrassing noises picking them up.

I was gonna say, it takes a big man to admit that he’s perfect--but as the legendary queen Shania Twain once said, “that don’t impress me much--uh ow”. It’s actually more impressive that you admitted something awkward afterwards though. Tell me though, did those noises have anything come into fruition? Muscles, yes, but a toot or something afterwards?

A lot of embarrassing things happens when you have mom brain so I could probably think of something to share with you.. there’s been many a time when I’ve put milk or other cold things in the pantry when I was done with them. One time I was running late to a meeting and I took Huxley with me, I was holding his baby keys and accidently tried using them to start the car and when they didn’t work, I started crying.

That mom brain kind of sounds scary. There are people around me who have children and I love them, but hearing things like that and knowing that it’s going to inevitably happen is bananas to think about. But things have gotten better, right? How old is your son? The goofy forgetting things do go away, right?

So you’re not a thrill seeker? You’re not going on the pirate ship that hangs upside down? Mm, funnel cakes are well worth the cheat. It’s sugar. And sweet bread.

The most thrill I have is doing some of my own stunts. I’m a naturally boring person and a pendulum ride just kinda almost seems the opposite of fun to me? But surely a gourmand of carnival food like you and I can agree--it’s even better with whipped cream on it.

I ended up going to another restaurant because I felt like everyone was looking at me. So....who wants to tell me an awkward story about them?

I feel like it just hit me out of nowhere that Huxley is going to be one in six months. I know that’s a bit of a long way away but I just didn’t realize it was coming so quick. Does it always go by that quick? I want to pause time and soak all the baby time in that I can. Anyway, I’m Melissa and I’m emotional over here. How is everyone else doing? @lalastart·

I think everyone doesn’t realize that time always goes by fast. It’s what you make of the time you have that matters. I’m pretty sure that’s why all of our parents have so many videos and pictures of us at that age. They just wanted all of us to stay that way forever.

I went to a carnival this past weekend with the fam jam and it was a complete letdown. When did fairs stop being fun? Everything felt hella overpriced and all of the workers looked like they were ready to chop me into little pieces. The only good part is the food - funnel cakes, fried Oreos, and corn dogs. Is anyone else with me or do I need to go again with a fresh set of eyes? @lalastart·

You know, I do like going to the fair if only to eat the food. I can see everyone else having fun on all of the rides and that’s enough for me. I stick to a mostly vegetarian diet most days out of my life, but be damned if I can’t get myself a funnel cake or an elephant ear.