Screwin Around

@nathankiller226 @jww1015fsc @superokty @risque-hideaway @danissv @kimmyg37 @getspunhavefun @dankcancermeme @sanzyfresherthanyou 

Here it is, the story that I have held back from the majority of public view for the past seven months. As a Walmart cart pusher, I have a few things I need to do at our local, oven-baked, Walmart. I push carts up the hill to the best of my extent (as I am not allowed to use the cart mule to push the carts), I do carry-outs, and I occasionally (if they need me to) stock the registers with bags. Everything is fine and dandy. Until one day I misheard something. I have a bad obsessive case of A.D.D. It has not helped in some cases. I also have bad hearing occasionally as I have been known to have ear problems periodically throughout the day. With this being said, our story begins on an oddball shift in the morning, I was tired and hadn’t wanted to wake up at six in the morning to go to work, but there I was, going at it anyway. So I push a couple rows of carts up to the front when I get called on the radio (by name of course as I am the only one there at that time) to stock the registers as there isn’t anyone else available to do so. I manage to get finished with that in about fifteen or so minutes and begin to head back outside when I get called on a carry-out. This frustrates me as I could be pushing the carts, keeping them up until someone who can use the mule arrived, but I am a nice person sometimes, so I went over to good old Register 9. There was a lady there that had a hard to understand accent, so between the bad hearing of myself, and her accent, this was the following conversation:

Register 9 Lady: Ah! You’re here, he just went outside the door with the unicorn”

Myself: Wait, the unicorn?

R9L: Yes, the unicorn, quickly, go!

So I walked outside the GM side door mumbling to myself about this search for this unicorn. There was some people next to me questioning if I was possibly drunk or on drugs, and had I not been questioning this myself, I probably would have laughed.