Sky

You clicked your recorder on and set it in the middle of the table without ceremony.

“Can you stop flirting with people for five minutes so I can finish this assignment?” you asked flatly, eyes already on your question sheet.

Silence.

The entire room seemed to freeze. The two media staff members lingering by the door stared. Yeonjun blinked once, twice, like his brain had short-circuited. Then he let out a surprised laugh, bright and genuine, leaning back in his chair.

“Wow. Okay. Straight to the point,” he said, still grinning, but there was a spark of something sharper in his eyes now. Curiosity. “Most people don’t usually complain about the flirting part.”

You didn’t smile back. You just looked up at him calmly. “Most people aren’t trying to meet a deadline. Can we start?”

For a second he just stared at you, like he was trying to figure out if you were serious. When you raised an eyebrow expectantly, he finally nodded, though the amused smirk never fully left his face.

“Alright, alright. Hit me with it.”

You ran through the standard questions about the upcoming dance showcase—rehearsal schedule, concept, his role as main choreographer. Yeonjun answered easily, confidently, the way someone who had done this a hundred times would. But he couldn’t seem to help himself. Every few answers he tried to slip back into flirt mode.

“You know,” he said after explaining the final piece, “if you come watch rehearsal sometime, I could show you the choreo personally. Private lesson. I’m a very… hands-on teacher.”

You didn’t even look up from your notes. “That won’t be necessary. Next question—how do you balance practice with your academics?”

Yeonjun’s smile faltered for half a second. He recovered quickly, chuckling under his breath, but you caught the way his fingers tapped restlessly against the table. He kept trying—complimenting the way you took notes, asking if you were always this serious, teasing that your voice was too pretty to sound so bored.

You remained completely unfazed, firing back professional follow-ups without missing a beat.

By the time you wrapped up the interview, Yeonjun was leaning back in his chair, arms crossed, openly staring at you with an unreadable expression. The usual cocky sparkle in his eyes had shifted into something deeper. Almost like he’d been thrown off-balance and couldn’t quite find his footing again.

You clicked the recorder off and stood up, slinging your bag over your shoulder.

“Thanks,” you said simply. “Good luck with the showcase.”

You were already halfway to the door when his voice stopped you.

“Hey.”

You turned. Yeonjun was still seated, but his gaze was locked on you with an intensity that made the air feel thicker.

“You really don’t like me at all, huh?” He asked it with a crooked smile, but there was a genuine note of bewilderment underneath.

You shrugged. “I don’t know you. And I don’t need to flirt with you to do my job.”

With that, you left the room.

Behind you, Choi Yeonjun stayed sitting in his chair for a long moment, tongue pressed against the inside of his cheek, a slow, dangerous little smile spreading across his face.

For the first time in a long time, someone had looked right through all his charm and hadn’t blinked.

And fuck… he was already hooked.

-----

The next time you saw Choi Yeonjun, he was already waiting for you.

You had barely stepped out of your afternoon lecture hall when he appeared beside you like magic, matching your pace with that infuriatingly confident stride. A black hoodie hung loosely over his frame, hair slightly messy from dance practice, and yet he still looked like he belonged on a magazine cover.

“Missed me?” he asked, leaning in close enough that you could smell his cologne—something warm and expensive that made your stomach do a tiny, traitorous flip before you shut it down.

You didn’t even break stride. “Not even a little.”

Yeonjun clutched his chest dramatically, stumbling a few steps like you’d shot him. “Ouch. You really know how to hurt a guy. I’ve been thinking about you all day, you know.”

“Congratulations,” you replied dryly, adjusting your bag. “That sounds like a personal problem.”

He laughed, loud and bright, drawing a few curious glances from people walking past. But instead of backing off, he only seemed more determined. The next day he showed up in the library, sliding into the seat across from you without invitation and immediately stealing the pen out of your hand mid-sentence.

“Hey—” you started, reaching for it.

“Shh. I’m helping,” he grinned, twirling your pen between his long fingers. “You’ve been writing notes for three hours straight. Your hand deserves a break. Also, your handwriting is cute when you’re focused.”

You stared at him. “Give it back.”

“Make me.”

You snatched it from his fingers in one swift motion. He pouted—actually pouted—and then proceeded to flop half his upper body across your desk, cheek resting on your open notebook.

“You’re so mean to me,” he mumbled, voice muffled against the paper. “I’m literally dying for your attention and you treat me like a mosquito.”

You pushed his head off your notes gently but firmly. “Mosquitoes are annoying. Accurate comparison.”

He gasped, sitting up with wide, offended eyes, though the smile tugging at his lips betrayed him. “Wow. I’m going to need emotional compensation for that one. Coffee? My treat. Or dinner. Or let me take you out after practice tomorrow—”

“No.”

“Brutal,” he whispered, clutching his heart again. But he didn’t leave. Instead, he stayed there for the next hour, occasionally stealing your highlighter or doodling stupid little hearts with your name in the margins of your spare paper when you weren’t looking.

Over the following week, it became a pattern.

He started texting you random memes at 2 a.m. with captions like “this is you rejecting me again 💔” or “tell me i’m pretty or i’ll cry.” You left most of them on read. He began “accidentally” showing up wherever you were—outside your lecture building right as class ended, at the campus café when you went for your usual iced coffee, even at the convenience store near your dorm at midnight when you were craving ramen.

Each time he’d flash that charming smile and say something ridiculous just to watch your reaction. And every time you remained unfazed, he looked a little more intrigued. A little more hungry.

One evening, after you told him for the third time that you weren’t interested in watching him rehearse, he showed up at your dorm anyway, holding two cups of coffee.

“You usually get the caramel iced with extra cream, right?” he asked casually, offering you one like it was nothing.

You froze, staring at the cup. “…How do you know that?”

Yeonjun shrugged, but his eyes were watching you carefully. “I pay attention. Unlike some people who pretend they don’t notice me at all.”

You took the coffee, muttering a reluctant “thanks,” and tried to ignore the way his face lit up like you’d just handed him the moon.

The game was supposed to be harmless. Just Yeonjun being Yeonjun—flirty, dramatic, impossible to ignore. But somewhere between the stolen pens and the late-night texts and the way he started remembering tiny details about you, the lines began to blur.

He still teased you relentlessly. Still called you “mean” and “cold-hearted” in that playful tone. Still tried to make you laugh or blush or react.

But sometimes, when he thought you weren’t looking, the smile would slip. Just for a second. You’d catch him watching you with something quieter. Something almost… unsure.

Like he didn’t quite know what he was doing anymore.

And the worst part?

You were starting to notice.

-----

The first time was purely for fun.

The bass from the frat house party was still vibrating in your bones when you finally dragged Yeonjun out into the cool night air. He had been impossible all evening—pressed up behind you while you tried to get a drink, whispering filthy little compliments against your ear, hands grazing your waist like they belonged there.

“You’re coming home with me,” you told him bluntly, fingers wrapped around his wrist as you pulled him toward your dorm.

Yeonjun’s eyes lit up with pure triumph. “Finally,” he grinned, letting you tug him along. “I knew you couldn’t resist me forever.”

You didn’t bother replying. The second the door to your room clicked shut behind you, the game changed.

Yeonjun barely had time to breathe before you shoved him back against the door. He let out a surprised laugh that quickly melted into a low groan as your mouth crashed into his. The kiss was messy, hungry, and impatient. His hands immediately found your ass, squeezing hard as he pulled you flush against him.

“Fuck,” he breathed against your lips, already half-hard. “You’re a lot stronger than you look.”

“Shut up,” you muttered, biting his bottom lip.

That seemed to flip a switch in him.

In one fluid motion, he spun you around, pressing your back against the door instead. His mouth attacked your neck, sucking marks into your skin while his hands shoved your dress up around your waist. You gasped when he dropped to his knees, yanking your panties down your legs in one rough tug.

“No teasing tonight,” he growled, looking up at you with dark, hungry eyes. “I’ve been thinking about this pussy for weeks.”

He buried his face between your thighs without warning, tongue sliding through your folds with shameless enthusiasm. You moaned, fingers threading into his hair as he devoured you—licking, sucking, groaning like you tasted better than anything he’d ever had. Two long fingers pushed inside you, curling perfectly while his lips wrapped around your clit.

You came embarrassingly fast, thighs shaking around his head. Yeonjun didn’t stop. He kept licking you through it, humming in satisfaction until your legs nearly gave out.

Then he stood up, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, eyes gleaming with cocky satisfaction.

“Bed?” he asked.

“Door is fine,” you answered breathlessly.

A wicked grin spread across his face. “Fuck yes.”

He spun you around again, pressing your chest against the cool wood. You heard the sound of his belt and zipper, then felt the thick head of his cock rubbing against your soaked entrance.

“Tell me you want it,” he murmured against your ear, voice rough.

You pushed back against him. “Just fuck me already, Yeonjun.”

He cursed under his breath and thrust in deep in one smooth stroke.

The stretch was intense. He was big, and he didn’t give you time to adjust—pulling back and slamming in again with a broken moan. The pace was brutal and perfect. Skin slapped against skin as he fucked you hard against the door, one hand gripping your hip, the other tangled in your hair.

“Shit— you feel so fucking good,” he groaned, lips brushing your shoulder. “So tight. So wet for me. Been dying to ruin this pretty pussy.”

You moaned loudly, pushing back to meet every thrust. He angled his hips and hit that spot inside you that made stars explode behind your eyes. His hand slipped around to rub tight circles on your clit, and you came again with a sharp cry, clenching around his cock.

Yeonjun’s rhythm faltered. “Fuck, I’m close— can I come inside?”

“Yes,” you gasped.

He buried himself to the hilt and came with a deep, guttural moan, hips stuttering as he spilled hot and thick inside you. For a moment, the only sounds were both of you breathing hard.

But Yeonjun wasn’t done.

He pulled out slowly, watching with dark fascination as his cum dripped down your thighs. Then he dropped to his knees again, spreading your legs wider.

“Wait— Yeonjun—”

“Shh,” he whispered, voice hoarse. “Let me clean you up.”

His tongue dragged through your folds again, licking up every drop of his own release mixed with your wetness. The filthy, wet sounds filled the room as he ate you out like a man starved, pushing his cum back into you with his tongue before sucking on your swollen clit until you came a third time, sobbing his name.

When he finally stood up, his lips were shiny, eyes hazy with satisfaction. He pulled you into a lazy, deep kiss, letting you taste both of you on his tongue.

You expected him to leave after that. Instead, he walked you over to your bed, stripped the rest of your clothes off, and pulled you down with him.

“Just for a bit,” he murmured against your neck, arms wrapping around you possessively. “Then I’ll go.”

But when you woke up a few hours later, Yeonjun was still there—bare chest pressed against your back, one leg tangled with yours, breathing slow and steady in his sleep.

And for the first time since this game started, something felt… different

-----

The morning after the party, Yeonjun was gone before you woke up. You told yourself it was fine — exactly what you expected. Casual. Fun. No strings.

But then he came back that same night.

And the night after that.

And the night after that.

It started small. A text at 11:47 p.m. saying “u up?” followed by him showing up at your dorm with strawberry milk and a bag of your favorite chips like it was completely normal. He’d flop onto your bed, steal one of your hoodies, and wear it while complaining about practice.

“This smells like you,” he mumbled one night, burying his face in the collar of your oversized gray hoodie. “I’m keeping it.”

“You literally have it on right now,” you pointed out.

“Exactly. It’s mine now.”

You rolled your eyes, but didn’t fight him when he pulled you into his lap and kissed you slow and deep, like he’d been thinking about it all day.

The sex was still intense, but it was changing.

That particular night, Yeonjun took his time.

He laid you down on your bed instead of fucking you against the wall or on your desk. The lights were dim, only your bedside lamp on, casting a soft golden glow over his bare skin as he hovered above you.

“No rush tonight,” he whispered against your collarbone, pressing open-mouthed kisses down your chest. He spent long minutes on your breasts — sucking, licking, gently biting until you were squirming and arching into his mouth.

“Yeonjun…” you breathed, fingers threading through his soft hair.

He hummed, sliding lower. He pushed your thighs apart and ate you out like he had all the time in the world. Long, slow licks. Swirling his tongue around your clit before sucking it gently. Two fingers pumping in and out of you in a steady rhythm, curling just right until your legs were shaking.

When you came on his tongue, he didn’t stop. He kept licking you through the aftershocks, groaning at how wet you were, until you were tugging at his hair and begging.

Only then did he crawl back up, settling between your thighs. His cock was hard and leaking as he rubbed the head against your entrance, teasing.

“Look at me,” he said quietly.

You did.

His eyes were darker than usual, but there was something else there too — something softer, almost vulnerable. He pushed in slowly, inch by inch, until he was buried to the hilt. Both of you let out shaky breaths.

“Fuck… you always feel so perfect,” he murmured, forehead pressed against yours.

This time he didn’t fuck you hard and fast. He rolled his hips in deep, sensual thrusts, grinding against you with every stroke so his pelvis rubbed perfectly against your clit. The pace was devastatingly intimate. Every movement felt deliberate, like he was trying to memorize the way you felt around him.

Your hands roamed his back, nails dragging lightly down his skin as he rocked into you. Yeonjun buried his face in your neck, kissing and sucking marks into your skin while whispering things you weren’t sure he meant to say out loud.

“Never get tired of this… never get tired of you.”

You came first, clenching around him with a broken moan. He followed right after, hips stuttering as he spilled deep inside you, groaning your name against your throat.

Instead of pulling out and leaving like usual, Yeonjun stayed.

He rolled onto his back and pulled you on top of him, arms wrapping tightly around your waist. His cock was still softening inside you as he held you against his chest.

You traced lazy circles on his collarbone. “You’re not leaving?”

He was quiet for a moment, fingers stroking up and down your spine.

“…Don’t want to,” he admitted, voice barely above a whisper. “Is that okay?”

You nodded against his neck.

You fell asleep like that — his arms around you, bodies still connected, his heartbeat steady under your cheek.

When you woke up hours later to the soft glow of early morning, Yeonjun was already awake. His fingers were tracing gentle patterns across your bare stomach, eyes soft and unfocused as he watched the movement. The usual cocky smirk was gone. He looked… peaceful. Almost boyish.

You shifted slightly and his gaze flicked up to yours. For a split second, something like panic flashed across his face before he covered it with a lazy smile.

“Morning, mean girl,” he teased, voice still raspy from sleep. “Staring at me while I sleep? Creepy.”

“You’re the one who’s been drawing hearts on my stomach for the last ten minutes,” you countered.

He froze. Then laughed, burying his face in your neck to hide the faint blush creeping up his ears.

“Shut up,” he mumbled against your skin, arms tightening around you. “I was just… bored.”

But his grip didn’t loosen. If anything, he pulled you even closer, legs tangling with yours like he was scared you’d slip away if he didn’t hold on tight enough.

And for the first time, Choi Yeonjun didn’t make a joke about leaving. He stayed until the sun was fully up, quietly stealing more of your hoodies and pressing lazy kisses to your shoulder like this was becoming his new favorite place to be.

The game was getting dangerous.

Because he wasn’t playing anymore.

-----

You didn’t mean to hear it.

You were in the campus café waiting for your usual caramel iced coffee when two girls at the table behind you started talking. Their voices carried easily.

“Yeonjun’s been hanging around her a lot lately, huh?”

“Yeah, but you know how he is. He flirts with everyone. Don’t take him seriously. Last month he was all over that dance major, remember? Before that it was the girl from the theater club. He’ll get bored eventually.”

A quiet laugh. “Exactly. He’s fun for a good time, but he’s not boyfriend material. She’ll figure it out soon.”

The words landed like ice water down your spine.

You grabbed your drink and left without looking back, but the damage was done. The doubts you had quietly pushed aside came rushing forward all at once. All those nights he stayed over, the soft kisses in the morning, the way he looked at you like you mattered — was it just another performance? Another game he was playing because you didn’t fall at his feet like everyone else?

You started pulling away.

Your replies to his texts became shorter. “Busy” instead of playful banter. You stopped letting him walk you to class. When he showed up at your dorm that evening with takeout and that bright, familiar grin, you told him you had a paper due and gently closed the door.

Yeonjun noticed immediately.

At first he tried to play it off like usual. He sent memes. He sent “miss me yet?” at 1 a.m. He showed up outside your lecture hall the next day with your favorite coffee, leaning against the wall looking effortlessly cool.

But you only gave him a small smile and a quiet “thanks” before heading off with your friends.

By day three, the cracks started showing.

His usual confident aura was fraying. His hair wasn’t perfectly styled. There were faint shadows under his eyes. He still smiled when he saw you across the quad, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes anymore.

That night he texted:

yeonjun

you’ve been avoiding me

did i do something wrong?

talk to me please

You left it on read.

The following evening, he showed up at your dorm unannounced. When you opened the door, he looked… tired. Really tired. The golden boy who always sparkled was gone. In his place was someone quieter, more vulnerable, hoodie sleeves pulled over his hands.

“Can I come in?” he asked, voice softer than usual. No dramatic flair. No teasing.

You hesitated, then stepped aside.

He walked in but didn’t try to touch you. Didn’t flop onto your bed or steal your hoodie. He just stood there in the middle of your room, hands in his pockets, looking strangely small.

“You’ve been distant,” he said, staring at the floor. “Like… really distant. Did something happen?”

You crossed your arms, the café conversation echoing in your head. “I just… heard some stuff. About you.”

He looked up sharply. “What stuff?”

“That you flirt with everyone. That this—” you gestured between the two of you “—is probably just another one of your things. That you’ll get bored eventually.”

Yeonjun’s face went pale. For a moment he looked genuinely stricken, like you’d hit him.

He let out a weak, bitter laugh, running a hand through his messy hair. “Of course. Because that’s what everyone thinks, right?” His voice cracked slightly on the last word. “The campus flirt. The guy who doesn’t do serious. The guy who’s fun until he isn’t.”

He took a step closer but stopped himself, as if he was scared you’d back away.

“I know what people say about me,” he continued quietly. “And for a long time… I didn’t care. Because it was easier that way. If they only liked the fun version, then when they left it wouldn’t hurt.” He swallowed hard. “But with you… I stopped pretending weeks ago. I thought you could see that.”

Silence stretched between you.

Yeonjun’s shoulders slumped. He looked exhausted — like the weight of constantly performing was finally crushing him.

“I’ll go,” he said finally, voice barely above a whisper. “If that’s what you want. I just… I hate this. I hate not talking to you. I hate wondering if you’re going to disappear like everyone else does when they realize I’m not as perfect as they thought.”

He turned toward the door, but paused with his hand on the knob.

“For what it’s worth,” he added without turning around, “this stopped being a game for me a long time ago.”

The door clicked shut softly behind him.

You stood there in the middle of your room, heart pounding, replaying the way his voice had trembled. The way his usual sparkle had completely dimmed. The confident, chaotic flirt who had chased you so relentlessly was starting to fall apart — and it was because of you.

For the first time since this whole thing started, you wondered if maybe you’d gotten it all wrong.

-----

The rooftop was quiet after the showcase ended.

Most people had already gone downstairs to the after-party, leaving behind empty cups, scattered confetti, and the distant hum of music floating up from the floors below. You had come up here for fresh air, needing a moment to think. The city lights glittered below like scattered stars, but your mind was still replaying Yeonjun’s tired face from the other night.

You didn’t expect him to follow you.

The metal door creaked open behind you. You turned and there he was — Choi Yeonjun, still in his stage outfit, the loose black shirt clinging to his frame, hair messy and damp with sweat from performing. The usual bright, cocky energy was completely gone. He looked exhausted. Raw. Like he hadn’t slept properly in days.

He closed the door behind him and leaned against it for a second, just staring at you.

“…Why are you pulling away?” His voice was quiet. No teasing lilt. No dramatic flair. Just a tired, cracked question that hung heavy in the cool night air.

You opened your mouth, but he kept going, stepping closer.

“I know I’m annoying. I know I come on too strong. But you’ve been avoiding me for days now and I can’t—” His breath hitched. He ran a shaky hand through his hair. “I can’t fucking take it anymore.”

He stopped a few feet away from you, hands clenched at his sides like he was trying not to reach out.

“I keep replaying everything, trying to figure out what I did wrong. Was it too much? Did I push too hard?” His voice dropped even lower. “Or is it because of what those girls said in the café?”

Your eyes widened slightly. He noticed.

“Yeah,” he said with a bitter smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “I heard about that too. People talk. They always talk about me.”

Yeonjun let out a shaky breath and finally closed the distance. He stood right in front of you now, close enough that you could see the faint redness in his eyes and the way his bottom lip trembled just slightly.

“That’s the problem, isn’t it?” he whispered. “Everyone thinks I’m just this… flirt. This fun guy who doesn’t mean anything he says. And maybe I deserved that reputation. For a long time, it was easier to keep things shallow. If they only liked the performance, then it didn’t hurt when they left.”

He laughed, but it sounded painful.

“But with you… I stopped performing weeks ago. I stopped pretending. I showed up at your door at midnight because I genuinely wanted to see you. I memorized your stupid coffee order because I wanted to know everything about you. I stayed the night because being with you is the only time my head finally shuts up.”

His hands lifted like he wanted to touch you, but he hesitated and let them fall.

“You didn’t fall for the charm. You saw through all of it. And that terrified me… but it also made me want to be real for once.” His voice cracked on the last word. “So when you started pulling away, it felt like you finally realized I’m not worth it either.”

Yeonjun looked down, shoulders hunched, the confident campus king nowhere in sight. Just a boy who was scared of being left behind the moment he stopped entertaining people.

“I don’t know how to do this,” he admitted hoarsely. “I don’t know how to make someone stay when I’m not being entertaining. When I’m just… me. Tired. Clingy. Insecure. A mess.”

He finally looked up at you again, eyes glassy under the dim rooftop lights.

“So tell me the truth. Do you want me to stop? Because if this was all just a game to you too, then say it. Rip the bandaid off. I’d rather hear it now than keep lying awake wondering why the one person I actually care about is slipping away from me.”

The wind whistled softly across the rooftop. Yeonjun stood there, completely exposed, no mask left. No flirty smile. No dramatic gestures. Just raw, trembling vulnerability as he waited for you to decide whether to stay or finally walk away like everyone else had.

His hands were shaking at his sides.

And in that moment, you realized this wasn’t the Choi Yeonjun everyone else knew.

This was the real one.

You couldn’t stand the distance anymore.

The raw pain in Yeonjun’s voice, the way he stood there trembling with his walls completely shattered — it broke something in you. Without thinking, you closed the gap and cupped his face with both hands.

“Yeonjun,” you whispered.

Then you kissed him.

He froze for half a second, like he couldn’t believe it was real. Then a broken sound escaped his throat and he kissed you back like a man drowning. His arms wrapped around you tightly, almost desperately, pulling you flush against his body as if he was terrified you’d vanish.

The kiss was messy and urgent, full of everything he’d been holding back. Teeth clashing, tongues sliding, his hands gripping your waist so hard you knew you’d have bruises tomorrow. When you finally pulled back for air, his forehead rested against yours, eyes still squeezed shut.

“I’m scared,” he admitted in a shaky whisper. “I’m so fucking scared of how much I need you.”

“Then stop running from it,” you murmured, brushing your thumb across his cheek. “I see you, Yeonjun. The real you. And I’m not going anywhere.”

That was all it took.

His mouth was on yours again, deeper this time, as he walked you backwards until your back gently hit the rooftop wall. The city lights blurred below, but nothing else mattered. Only him.

Clothes came off in a heated rush — his stage shirt, your top, his pants shoved down just enough. He lifted you effortlessly, your legs wrapping around his waist as he pressed you against the cool concrete. His cock was already rock hard, throbbing against your soaked core.

“Need you,” he groaned against your neck, lining himself up. “Need to feel you. Please—”

He pushed in slowly, inch by thick inch, stretching you open with a long, broken moan. The angle was deep, intimate. When he bottomed out, he stayed there, buried to the hilt, forehead pressed to yours, breathing ragged.

“Look at me,” he whispered.

You did. His eyes were glassy, vulnerable, completely open in a way you’d never seen before.

“I love you,” he said, voice cracking. “Not the game. Not the flirting. Just… you. The way you see through me. The way you stay anyway.”

Then he started moving.

It wasn’t the rough, possessive fuck from the other night. This was slow, deep, devastating. Every roll of his hips dragged against that perfect spot inside you, making you gasp and cling to his shoulders. He kept his eyes locked on yours the entire time, watching every flicker of pleasure across your face like it was the most important thing in the world.

“Fuck— you feel so good,” he panted, grinding deep. “So warm. So tight. Like you were made for me.”

One of his hands slid between your bodies, thumb circling your clit in perfect rhythm with his thrusts. Your moans echoed softly into the night as pleasure built fast and overwhelming.

Yeonjun’s pace gradually quickened, hips snapping harder, chasing the feeling of being completely connected to you. He buried his face in your neck, sucking fresh marks into your skin while whispering filthy, needy confessions between moans.

“You’re mine, right? Tell me you’re mine.”

“I’m yours,” you gasped, nails digging into his back.

He groaned loudly, the sound vibrating against your throat. He adjusted his angle and started pounding into you harder, deeper, the wet slap of skin on skin mixing with your shared moans. The pleasure coiled tighter and tighter until you came hard around him, clenching and pulsing, crying out his name.

But Yeonjun didn’t stop.

He fucked you through it, drawing out your orgasm until your legs shook, then kept going. His thrusts became erratic, desperate, almost punishing in their intensity.

“Again,” he growled, voice hoarse. “Come for me again, baby. I need to feel it.”

His thumb never stopped on your clit. The overstimulation made you sob with pleasure as another orgasm crashed into you, even stronger than the first. This time Yeonjun followed right after, burying himself as deep as possible and coming with a shattered moan of your name. You felt every pulse as he filled you up, hot and thick, hips stuttering through the aftershocks.

For a long moment, the only sounds were your heavy breathing and the distant city noise.

Yeonjun didn’t pull out. He stayed buried inside you, holding you against the wall like he never wanted to let go. His body trembled against yours as quiet, exhausted tears slipped down his cheeks.

“Don’t leave me,” he whispered brokenly against your skin, pressing soft kisses to your jaw, your cheek, your lips. “Please. I don’t know how to do this without you anymore.”

You held him tighter, fingers gently stroking through his damp hair as his cock continued to twitch inside you.

“I’m right here,” you promised softly. “I’m staying.”

He nodded shakily, pressing his face into the crook of your neck as more silent tears fell. The confident, untouchable flirt was gone. In his place was someone beautifully broken — someone who had finally stopped performing and let himself be loved exactly as he was.

And you held every fragile piece of him.

-----

The city hummed far below, but up here it felt like the world had narrowed down to just the two of you.

Yeonjun’s body was still pressed tightly against yours, his cock softening inside you as he trembled in the aftermath. His face stayed buried in your neck, warm breaths fanning across your skin in uneven bursts. You could feel the rapid thud of his heartbeat against your chest.

He didn’t pull out. He didn’t move at all for a long moment, just held you like letting go might make you disappear.

Finally, he shifted carefully, sliding out of you with a soft, wet sound that made you both shiver. A trickle of his cum dripped down your thigh. Yeonjun stared at it for a second, then reached down with slightly shaky fingers and gently wiped it away with the edge of his discarded stage shirt.

“You okay?” he asked, voice hoarse and small. His usual cocky tone was nowhere to be found.

You nodded, cupping his cheek. “I’m okay. Are you?”

Instead of answering, he pulled you away from the wall and lowered both of you onto the wide ledge, careful to keep you on his lap so you were straddling him. His arms wrapped around your waist again, locking you against his chest as if he still couldn’t bear any distance.

His hands moved slowly over your body — gentle now, almost reverent. He stroked down your back, traced the marks he’d left on your neck and shoulders, pressed soft kisses to every spot his lips could reach. The confident, filthy-mouthed Yeonjun from minutes ago had completely melted away, leaving someone quiet and fragile in his place.

“I don’t know how to do this,” he whispered against your collarbone. His voice cracked. “Real feelings. Real… everything. I’ve spent so long making sure people only saw the fun side of me that I don’t know what to do when someone stays for the rest.”

A shaky breath left him.

“I keep waiting for the moment you realize I’m too much. Too clingy. Too needy. That the version of me who shows up at your door at 2 a.m. because I can’t sleep without smelling your hoodie isn’t worth keeping around.”

You felt something warm and wet against your skin. Tears. Quiet, exhausted tears sliding down his cheeks as he clung to you tighter.

You gently tilted his face up. His eyes were red-rimmed and shining, completely unguarded. No performance. No mask. Just Yeonjun — raw, scared, and heartbreakingly beautiful.

“You’re not too much,” you said softly, brushing the tears away with your thumbs. “I want all of it. The chaotic flirt, the quiet boy who steals my hoodies, the one who gets jealous and the one who cries on rooftops. I see you, Yeonjun. And I’m still here.”

A broken sob slipped from his throat. He pressed his face back into your neck, shoulders shaking as he let himself fall apart in your arms. You held him through it, one hand cradling the back of his head, the other rubbing slow circles along his spine. The cool night air brushed against your bare skin, but the warmth of his body kept you grounded.

After a while, his breathing evened out. The tears slowed. He stayed curled against you, lips occasionally pressing lazy kisses to your shoulder, your throat, anywhere he could reach without letting go.

“You’re really not leaving?” he asked, voice muffled and small, almost childlike.

“Never,” you promised, kissing the top of his head.

He let out a shaky, relieved breath. Then, with surprising gentleness, he guided you to lie down with him on the wide concrete ledge. He pulled you on top of him again, spreading your thighs so he could slowly slide back inside your warmth. Not to fuck you — just to feel close. To stay connected.

A soft, content sigh left him as he settled deep inside you, arms wrapping securely around your back. You rested your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat gradually slow.

“I think I’m in love with you,” he murmured into your hair, so quietly you almost missed it. “And it’s the scariest thing I’ve ever felt… but I don’t want it to stop.”

You smiled against his skin and pressed a kiss over his heart.

“Good. Because I’m in love with you too.”

Yeonjun’s arms tightened around you. He fell asleep like that — still buried inside you, tear tracks drying on his cheeks, a small, peaceful smile on his lips for the first time in days.

For once, the campus flirt wasn’t performing.

He was just being loved.

And he finally let himself believe it.

-----

Weeks later, the rooftop was quieter this time.

The campus event had ended hours ago, but you and Yeonjun had slipped away from the noise and found yourselves back where everything had changed. The same ledge, the same glittering city lights below. Only now, everything felt different.

Yeonjun was lying with his head in your lap, eyes half-closed as you played with his hair. He wasn’t performing. No dramatic stories, no teasing smirks. Just soft, tired breaths and the occasional contented hum when your fingers scratched gently at his scalp.

“…Do you know how scary you are?” he murmured suddenly, voice low and warm in the night air.

You laughed softly. “How?”

He opened his eyes and looked up at you, no mask left. Just raw, honest affection shining in them.

“Because you met the version of me everyone likes,” he said quietly, “the loud, flirty, always-on version… and somehow stayed for the one who doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing half the time.”

You leaned down and kissed him gently. He melted into it, one hand reaching up to cup the back of your neck, keeping you there a little longer.

When you pulled back, he was smiling — small, genuine, and a little shy.

“I have something to show you,” he said, sitting up. He pulled out his phone and opened Instagram. Your eyes widened when you saw the new post already drafted.

It was a simple photo — one he’d taken of the two of you a few days ago. You were sitting on his bed wearing his hoodie, laughing at something he’d said, while he looked at you like you hung the stars. No flashy caption. Just:

choi_yj mine ♡ @y/n_username

Your heart skipped. “You’re… announcing it?”

“Yeah,” he said, a little nervous but determined. “I’m done hiding. Done letting people think this is just another fling. I want everyone to know I’m yours now.”

He posted it.

Within seconds, likes and comments started flooding in. His friends spamming shocked emojis, confused messages from people who never thought they’d see the day Choi Yeonjun hard-launched someone. He turned his phone off and tossed it aside, pulling you into his arms instead.

“Come here, girlfriend,” he whispered against your lips, the new title making him grin like an idiot.

The kiss quickly grew deeper. His hands slipped under your shirt, warm against your skin as he laid you down on the wide ledge. This time it was slow and sweet — clothes coming off lazily between kisses and quiet laughter.

He took his time with you, lips trailing down your body, whispering praises between every kiss. When he finally slid inside you, forehead pressed to yours, the moan he let out was soft and relieved.

“Fuck… I’ll never get used to this,” he breathed, rolling his hips deep and unhurried. “Being with you. Being allowed to love you.”

You wrapped your legs around him, pulling him closer. The sex was gentle but intense — every thrust full of emotion. He kept kissing you through it, murmuring “I love you” like he was making up for every time he’d been too scared to say it before.

You came together, trembling and clinging to each other under the open sky.

Afterwards, he didn’t pull out right away. He stayed buried inside you, holding you against his chest as you both caught your breath.

The next few weeks of dating Yeonjun were nothing like you expected.

He was ridiculously clingy in the cutest ways.

He’d show up to your morning classes with your favorite coffee and steal kisses in the hallway like he couldn’t wait another second. He started carrying your bag without asking. In the library, he’d sit beside you with his head on your shoulder, occasionally pressing little kisses to your neck until you had to shush him for giggling too loud.

One evening, he dragged you to the dance studio after hours. Instead of showing off, he taught you a simple part of his choreography, hands on your waist, laughing every time you stepped on his feet. When you finally got it right, he picked you up and spun you around, kissing you so hard you both fell onto the practice room floor in a tangle of limbs and laughter.

At night, he was still intense — fucking you like he’d been starved for you all day, whispering filthy praises while he pinned your wrists above your head. But afterwards, he’d become the softest version of himself, curling into you, asking you to play with his hair while he told you about his day.

The campus slowly got used to seeing the once-unattainable Choi Yeonjun walking around with your hand in his, proudly showing you off.

One night, back on that same rooftop, he pulled you close under a blanket he’d brought. The city sparkled below as he rested his chin on your shoulder.

“I thought attention was the only thing that mattered,” he said quietly. “Turns out I just needed one person who saw the real me… and chose me anyway.”

You turned in his arms and kissed him softly.

“And I’ll keep choosing you,” you whispered. “Every day.”

Yeonjun smiled — bright, warm, and completely real.

“My love language was broken,” he murmured, echoing his old fears. “But you fixed it.”

He kissed you again under the stars, slow and full of promise.

No more games.

No more performances.

He didn’t take it well—not at all. The calls kept coming. At first, it was pleading. Sweet, pathetic apologies dripped in fakeness. But they didn’t stay sweet for long. They turned sharp and accusing. His voice would swing from soft regret to explosive rage in a single breath. As if the breakup wasn’t real. Like you were throwing a tantrum.

Now your phone buzzes at strange hours—2:17 a.m., 4:03, 5:12 always from unknown numbers. No voice, no noise just silence. You’ve started checking your locks more than once. Then again. Then again. You keep the blinds shut even when the sun is out, because the idea of light feels unsafe now. Too visible. Because Jungwon doesn’t lose. And he doesn't listen when you say no. He doesn’t rage. He doesn't scream. He waits. He smiles. Control isn’t something he wants. It’s something he assumes he already has. You don’t know it now, but you’ll soon realize that leaving him was the worst mistake you could’ve made. 

“Girl, relax—he’s not here,” she says, not even looking at you. Her voice is flat, tired, like you’re annoying her with your nonsense. “Stop being so paranoid. I heard he’s got a new girlfriend or something, so… he’s over you.”

You blink at her, fork halfway to your mouth. She's probably right. Everyone keeps saying the same thing, and you’re starting to feel like the one who is being crazy. But the incidents around the house was telling you otherwise like the window in your bedroom was open yesterday morning. Just a crack. You remember closing it. You always do. You even double checked it after brushing your teeth. But there it was, gaping like a mouth in the wall, letting the cold in.

Then there was the necklace. You found it in the laundry room. You haven’t worn it in weeks. You’d swear you left it on your dresser. “You don’t think that’s weird?” you ask, quieter than you meant to. “That my stuff keeps moving around?” Kailey shrugs. “You probably just forgot. You’ve been super stressed lately. Your brain’s probably just... I don’t know. Filling in blanks.” Her smile is small, pitying. It makes you feel like a child so you nod, even though your stomach twists. Because how do you argue with someone who makes your fear sound like fiction?

Everyone you’ve talked to says the same thing. You’re imagining it. You’re spiraling. Maybe talk to someone. No one listens to what you’re actually saying. They just want you to stop talking. And the more you try to explain, the more ridiculous you sound. Like some clingy ex who can’t move on. Like you’re obsessed with someone who isn't even thinking about you. 

 You smile. You laugh when Kailey makes a joke about “getting you a security system and a therapist.” Maybe they’re right. Maybe your memory is just playing tricks on you. Maybe the cold air, the lost things, the tapping you heard last night…maybe it’s all just in your head. But if that’s true… why does it still feel like someone’s watching you? 

“Okay, call me when you get home, alright?” Kailey says, pulling you into a quick hug. “And don’t worry about Jungwon. You’re fine. Seriously. He wasn’t good for you, and breaking up with him was the smartest thing you’ve done.” She squeezes your arm before turning away, heading toward her car without waiting for a reply. The door slams, the engine hums to life, and just like that, she’s gone—leaving you alone on the sidewalk outside the restaurant. You stand there for a moment, watching her taillights fade into the distance. The street feels too quiet now, like someone turned the volume down on the world. “I hope you’re right,” you murmur, mostly to yourself, then turn and begin the walk toward home. 

The sidewalk stretches ahead of you, slick from earlier rain. Your shoes tap softly against the pavement, a steady rhythm you try to focus on. Left foot, right foot. Just a walk home. Just like every other night. But now Kailey's voice is gone, and without it, the air feels too thin. A streetlight flickers as you pass underneath it, buzzing once like it’s annoyed by your presence. You glance up out of habit. It dies for a moment, then flares back to life, casting your shadow behind you. You wrap your arms tighter around yourself, shoulders hunching as you turn down your street. The houses here are dark, windows glowing faintly blue with TV light or not at all. You tell yourself it’s just late. People are asleep inside. 

But your stomach won’t stop tightening. That pressure behind your ribs again—like something’s watching you. Like something’s a few steps too close. You stop walking to listen. Behind you… nothing. No footsteps. No breathing. Just wind rustling the trees and the faint hum of traffic blocks away. You glance over your shoulder. Empty street. You hate how fast your heart is beating. You keep walking. Faster now. You don’t want to look again. If no one’s there, you’ll feel stupid. If someone is—No, don't go there. You stop again, one foot hesitating mid-step. You turn slowly and look behind you. Still no one there. But the streetlight—It’s off now. Completely dark.

Your breath catches in your throat. Your limbs tense before you can even think. And then—You run.

You don’t think about how it looks. You don’t care. You take off, shoes slapping the pavement, your bag bouncing hard against your hip. You just run.

Your house comes into view—porch light glowing weakly like it’s trying, but not enough. You fumble for your keys as you hit the steps. You nearly drop them. Your fingers are shaking too much and the sweat making it difficult to hold them. You glance behind you. Nothing. Still. But you don’t believe it. You shove the key in, not it. Try again. Shit not it. Curse under your breath. You keep looking over your shoulder like you're expecting to see someone step out of the dark. Click. The key finally turns. You throw the door open, stumble inside, and slam it shut behind you. You turn the lock. The deadbolt and the chain. Then you press your back to the door, eyes closed, chest heaving. 

You stay with your back pressed to the door, listening for something—anything. Maybe the wind. Maybe footsteps that were never there. Maybe it was just your heart that was punching the inside of your ribs. The house is quiet. Too quiet. Then you heard a thud. A soft, unmistakable sound, like something falling. Not from the kitchen or the living room. It was from your bedroom.

Your body goes cold. You strain your ears, willing for the sound to be nothing. A book slipping off your bed. Something you left too close to the edge. Just gravity. Just the house settling. But you know what you heard. You know exactly where it came from.

Your room. Down the hall. Door slightly open—just as you left it.

You step forward. Slowly. Like your feet don’t belong to you anymore. Your fingers brush against the wall as you move, needing the feel of something solid. You pause at your door. Another noise—a shift. The creak of the mattress springs.

You don’t want to look. Every nerve screams at you not to. But you push the door open anyway. And there he is.

Jungwon.

Sitting on your bed like he never left. He’s leaned back against your pillows, one arm stretched casually along the headboard, the other resting on his knee. Legs spread comfortably, like he owns the room. Like you’re the intruder. “Well,” he says, voice smooth, almost lazy, “you made it farther than I expected. Honestly, I thought you'd fold after the second time you found the window open.” His gaze skims over you—your posture, your silence, your fear.

“You really thought locking doors and whispering to Kailey would make a difference?” he asks, tilting his head slightly. “Cute.” Then he exhales, almost like a yawn, and shifts his weight to the side of your bed. “But playtime’s over now.” He looks you straight in the eye, the smile gone. “Time to come back to me. This little game was fun... but I’m getting bored.”

He pats the bed beside him—slow, twice.

“Don’t make me chase you again.”

You looked at him like he’d just sprouted horns. “Jungwon… what the fuck is wrong with you?” Your voice cracks from the force of it. Your hands are shaking. You don’t care.

“Get the hell out of my house!” you scream, louder this time. But he doesn’t move. He doesn’t even blink.

“Babe,” Jungwon said, his voice calm and patronizing, like he was scolding a child. “Stop yelling. It’s embarrassing.” 

“We broke up!” you scream, voice shredded with fury. “Get that through your thick fucking skull and get the fuck out of my house!” You reach into your bag, fingers brushing your phone, eyes locked on him like you're defusing a bomb. Your heart racing. But you glance down—just for a second. And that’s all it takes.

His hand is on your throat.

“Now why would you do that, huh, babe?” he breathes, his face inches from yours, his breath hot on your face. “I missed you. And I know you missed me.”

His fingers tighten. You choke, your nails clawing at his wrist. Your vision flickers.

“Stop struggling and just accept it, babe. I’m here now. We’re done playing—”

You swing your knee up, fast, hard, straight into his groin.

He makes a sound—half-growl, half-scream—and doubles over, crashing to the floor.

You stumble back, gasping, clutching your throat, then bolt down the hall. You don’t look behind you. You know what’s coming. You hit the living room. The space feels too small—too many corners, too many shadows, and nowhere to hide. Your feet pound the floor as you race toward the kitchen, lungs burning.

But then—His hand. It misses you by less than an inch. 

You throw yourself into the kitchen and lunge for the drawer. The knife. The drawer sticks. You yank. Too slow. His hand grabs your hair—hard—and you feel your head jerk back, your scalp screaming as he slams you forward. Your temple hits the counter edge with a sickening crack. The world wavers. You dropped to the floor.

He’s pacing now, breathing hard, muttering. Mindless. Mechanical. Like a record skipping on loop.

“You were made for me,” he hisses, voice barely above a whisper but trembling with rage. “Don’t you get it? You don’t exist without me. I built you.

He slams the drawer shut with his foot—BANG—and the sound explodes through the kitchen. You flinch instinctively, shoulder curling inward. He laughs under his breath.

“No one else will touch you. Not after this. You think someone’s gonna want you after I’m done with you?” He gestures to you like you were trash. “They’ll see right through you, babe.”

He steps over your legs like they’re part of the floor, starts pacing in front of the fridge, cracking his knuckles, dragging his hand through his hair, muttering. His eyes are wild—glassy and glowing with something sick.

“You keep pretending you’re scared. But you’re not. Not really,” he says, smiling now, voice dipping into something slower, darker. “You like it when I get like this. You made those sounds for me, remember? The begging, the whimpering... the way you said my name when you couldn’t take it anymore.”

He crouches suddenly, right in front of you, and grabs your jaw—tight, fingers pressing into your cheeks.

“You remember that, don’t you?”

You try to pull away. He doesn’t let go.

“I own you. Every noise you make, every breath you take—that’s mine. You don’t get to run anymore. You had your little tantrum. Now?” His voice softens like silk. He stands again, towering above you, breath heaving, arms loose at his sides like he doesn’t know whether to touch you or kill you.

“Now you don't get to leave.”

“Please… just stop,” you whispered, voice raw, tears streaking your cheeks as your back pressed against the cold wooden kitchen counter. “You’ve had your fun.”

Jungwon didn’t flinch. He only tilted his head, eyes drinking in your trembling frame like it was art he couldn’t look away from.

“God,” he murmured, stepping closer, his voice low and dark with something you couldn’t name. “You’re so damn pretty when you cry.”

You turned your face away, breath hitching.

Jungwon's hand shot out, fingers tangling harshly in your hair. He fisted it tight, yanking your head back to force you to meet his intense gaze. The sudden, painful grip made you gasp, tears flying from your eyes as he wrenched you off your feet. Your knees scraped against the hardwood floor, sending jolts of stinging pain up your legs, but he showed no mercy.

"You don’t get to turn away from me," he growled, voice dripping with venom. 

Jungwon slammed you down onto the cold, unforgiving surface of the kitchen counter, the breath whooshing out of your lungs at the impact. Before you could catch your breath, he had you by the hair again, bending you over the edge of the counter roughly. You felt the chill of the granite against your skin as he forced you to arch your back. "Look at you," Jungwon snarled in your ear, his voice a low, feral rumble. "What a sweet, trembling mess you are. You can't deny how much you fucking love this, can you? How much you've missed having me inside you, ruining you?"

He punctuated his words by grinding his hard, clothed erection against the curve of your ass. You could feel every thick inch of him, a whimper escaped your throat, equal parts fear and shameful, traitorous arousal.

"This is what you do to me," Jungwon growled, giving your ass a sharp smack. "This is the effect you have on me, you fucking tease. I've been thinking about this pussy, about burying myself in you."

He tore the delicate fabric of your panties without hesitation, the rip sharp in the silence. The ruined lace discarded, leaving you bare and shivering as the cold air kissed your exposed skin. His touch followed—fingers finding your slick heat, dragging through your folds with a rough, unrelenting rhythm that stole the breath from your lungs. 

"You don't get to say shit," he hissed, "You don't get to deny me anymore. I'm going to take what's mine, over and over again until you're dripping with my cum."

You heard the frantic tug of his zipper, the hiss of fabric shoved down in haste—he was struggling, almost clumsy in his desperation. He couldn’t wait. The need to be inside you was written in every rushed movement, every uneven breath. Your mind was fogged, flooded with heat, and the sound of him losing control just made it worse. 

Jungwon's hips surged forward, burying his thick cock deep inside your core in one brutal thrust. A scream tore from your throat at the sudden, intense intrusion, your walls clenching desperately around his invading length. He didn't give you any time to adjust, immediately setting a hard, punishing pace as he bent over you from behind.

His breath was hot and ragged against your ear, each exhale sending shivers down your spine. You could feel the thundering of his heartbeat, the rise and fall of his chest pressed against your back as he loomed over you. He was everywhere, surrounding you, consuming you completely.

"Fuck," Jungwon grunted, his voice strained with lust and dark satisfaction. “You can hate me all you want. Doesn’t change how perfectly I fit in you.”

One hand gripped your hip hard enough to bruise, holding you in place as he rutted into you. The other snaked up to wrap around your throat, squeezing just enough to make your pulse jump and race. Your vision swam, head spinning as he fucked you with brutal intensity, the obscene sound of skin slapping against skin echoing through the kitchen.

“Beg all you want. I know exactly what you need.” Jungwon growled, punctuating his words with a sharp thrust. “By the time I’m done with you, there won’t be nothing left.” 

His fingers tightened around your throat as he leaned in closer, his lips brushing the shell of your ear.  “You’re going to carry a reminder of me, one way or another.”

A surge of pure panic shot through you at Jungwon's dark promise. Your heart raced, pounding wildly against your ribs as his fingers tightened around your throat, restricting your airflow. You tried to shake your head.

"No," you gasped out, voice barely a whisper. "Please, Jungwon, don't. Pull out, please..."

But even as the words left your lips, you knew it was futile. Jungwon was beyond reason, beyond caring about your pleas and fears. He was driven by a singular, obsessive desire to claim and conquer.

Ignoring your desperate entreaty, he was fucking into you with brutal, animalistic intensity. The kitchen filled with the vulgar sounds of your coupling - the slap of skin on skin, your strangled cries, his grunts and growls of pleasure.

"Fuck, I can feel it," Jungwon snarled, his voice tight with impending release. “You feel that? The way you pull me in like you were made for this? Like your body already knows it belongs to me.” 

He punctuated his words with a harsh thrust, burying himself to the hilt inside you. You felt his cock jerk and pulse, growing even harder, impossibly bigger. Your eyes widened in terror and a sickening mix of reluctant arousal.

"Please," you whimpered, tears streaming down your face. "Please, don't cum inside me. I don't want to..."

But your pleas fell on deaf ears. With a guttural roar, Jungwon slammed into you one last time, grinding his pelvis against your ass as his cock erupted. You could feel the hot, thick spurts of his release painting your insides, flooding your unprotected womb with his cum.

"Take it," he commanded harshly, holding you in place as he emptied himself inside you. "Take every last drop.”

You shuddered and sobbed as you felt his cum filling you up, your body instinctively clenching and milking his pulsing cock. The sheer depravity of it, the utter lack of control, sent a confusing surge of dark pleasure through you.

As Jungwon finally pulled out, you could feel his release leaking out of you, dripping down your thighs.

You couldn’t move so you remained bent over the kitchen counter, chest heaving as you struggled to catch your breath. Tears streamed down your face, dripping onto the cold granite surface below. Your body ached, used and abused in the most intimate way possible. The sticky evidence of his release trickled down your thighs, a sickening reminder of your defilement.

Behind you, Jungwon was already fixing his pants, tucking his spent cock away and smoothing down his shirt. He acted as if he hadn't just violated you, just taken something from you that you hadn't willingly given. As if this was an everyday occurrence, a simple transaction.

"Shut up," he barked harshly, silencing your muffled sobs and whimpers. “Did you really think someone would come running if you cried loud enough?”

You flinched at the biting words, then he was bending over you again, looming large and menacing. His hand came up, cupping the back of your head almost gently. For a moment, you thought he might caress you, soothe you. But then his fingers tightened, gripping your hair almost painfully as he wrenched your head to the side to force you to meet his gaze.

"You'll never be clean again," Jungwon whispered, his voice a low, dark rumble. "Not after this. Not after me."

His eyes bored into yours, gleaming with a manic, possessive light. Before you could look away, his mouth was on you, his lips brushing against your forehead in a mockery of a tender kiss. A promise of something far darker.

never did you see yourself experiencing a love like in the movies. the red string of fate, the twin flame, the soulmate – all concepts that were fictional to you. you got really close, once, and was humbled so badly that you had sworn off of love. you wouldn’t search for it, or even try for it ever again. 

but that’s the thing about love, isn’t it? it happens when you’re least expecting it. you don’t find it, it finds you, and pulls you under so quickly that there’s no time to resist. to you, heartbroken and hopeless you, this took form in the sudden presence of the boy called jake. 

jake had always been around – he’s a friend of your ex (he who shall not be named). not a close one, but one you still saw often at hangouts and parties. that one smiley, golden retriever boy with the bleached blonde hair. 

he was always such a gentleman with you, at least in the fleeting interactions before your ex would interrupt or steal you away. you still adored those brief moments with jake, and if your ex wasn’t so cutthroat about being the only man in your life, you might’ve found a good friend in jake. 

none of it could’ve prepared you for what you ended up finding in him instead. 

love. real love, pure love. a love that didn’t keep you waiting, that didn’t have you terrified of it vanishing. a love that was gentle and sweet and understanding. a love that you know you didn’t deserve, and yet a love he fought tooth and nail to give you. 

after your messy and very public breakup, jake swooped in like some type of guardian angel. one harmless text of him checking up on you later, and you found yourself attached to his side quicker than you could start missing your ex. 

he comforted you through it – held you in his arms when you were ugly crying, cooked meals for you when you couldn’t take care of yourself – and all he asked for in return was to continue being by your side. 

once you finally mustered the strength to leave bed after a week of rotting, jake was there to help clean your room of any traces of your ex. he then chucked all of his belongings in his car to drive to the dump, just so you didn’t have to be around the stuff any longer.

jake is a million dollar man. a once in a lifetime man. he is every bit the man that you wanted your ex to be, and better. because jake has none of his flaws. in fact, you’re not sure if jake even has any. he’s so perfect for you, and somehow, he feels like deja vu. 

you’re convinced he was a lover in your past life, someone you’ve reincarnated with to find in every reality, with how familiar he seems, how in tune he is with your needs. 

you’re so helplessly in love, and you know that someway, somehow – he loves you even more. 

—

not a day goes by where jake doesn’t think about marrying you. 

you don’t even have to do anything and already, he’s picturing you walking down the aisle, your belly swell with his child. patience, though. he needs enough for both of you. he’s been very intentional in restraining from going that far with you yet. he’s not prepared enough. but he will be, soon. 

he smiles to himself as he heart-reacts to your cute little ‘take your time handsome :)’ text, in reply to him apologising for being a few minutes late to come over. he had to wait for the dryer load to be done so he could wear his grey sweatpants – jay’s sweatpants. 

every time he wears these, without fail, you go crazy over him. the first time was a carelessly stupid mistake – you’d called him in tears, and in his rush to drive to your place, he’d thrown on the first pair of pants he could find, which he hadn’t realised was from the pile of your ex’s clothes.

by some luck, or perhaps by design, it had worked in his favour. your tears had quickly dried when you saw him walk in with those loose sweats hanging from his hips, and not long after you’d had him pressed to the couch, your lips devouring his. it was the first time you kissed him since the breakup, and it would’ve been your first time having sex since, if only jake hadn’t stopped things before they could escalate. 

you’re too affectionate for your own good. it will get your heart broken one day, and it did. but you never have to worry about that happening again – not after you handed it over to jake’s hands. 

jay may not be in your life anymore, but bits and pieces of him never really left. you don’t even realise it, but it’s why you fell for jake so hard and fast in the first place. 

jake pockets his phone into jay’s sweats. he throws a hoodie over his shirt – also jay’s – before spritzing on a layer of jay’s favourite cologne, then popping a stick of jay’s favourite gum in his mouth. referencing the polaroid taped to his mirror, jake styles his hair, just like jay’s. you first met him when he had the bleached hair, but once he’d heard the news of your breakup, he didn’t think twice about dyeing it back to black. 

jake slides the insoles into his sneakers before putting them on, matching jay’s height as he stands up. he clips on the watch around his wrist from the same brand as jay’s. 

jake gives himself a once over in the mirror, and clears his throat for one last practice before he leaves. his reflection talks like jay, walks like jay, perfectly mimics his loud laugh and his shy mannerisms. only when jake doesn’t recognise himself anymore does he feel satisfied, and texts you a quick ‘On my way cutie <3’ before grabbing his car keys from the pocket of jay’s jeans he wore yesterday on the floor. 

jake hadn’t thrown out a single possession of your ex’s like he promised you. that day he drove them to the ‘dump’ to end up in a heap of landfill, he’d actually just taken them right back to his house, where he’s since been studying them harder than his college finals. 

every handmade gift that he can recreate better, every love letter that he can plagiarise and whisper into your ear. he’s even tried learning some of jay’s homemade recipes, and bought a guitar to practise jay’s scribbled songs. he wears some clothing from jay’s closet each time he sees you. he analyses photos to pose like jay, videos to act like jay – every second of every day in his head is just jay, jay, jay. jake thinks about him so much you’d think he was in love. 

no part of jay is unknown to him. he wants to know exactly the type of man you fell so deeply in love with, so he can do it all better.

what you don’t know is that jake wanted you first, from afar – from passing by you in the halls and sitting behind you in class. all before jay just swooped in and bagged you like nothing. 

you don’t even remember jake’s existence before you met him as jay’s friend. he wasn’t memorable enough, not worthy enough. so, he had to become the man you wanted, the man your broken heart longed for: jay. 

and it’s worked better than he could’ve ever imagined. 

yesterday, while he was over, you’d shyly (adorably) admitted to jake that you used to journal. you lost motivation to keep up with it after he who shall not be named.

“you should start again,” he had suggested to you, rubbing your arm as he held you under his shoulder. “it’s a healthy hobby to have.”

“i only ever wrote when i was upset.” you looked up at him with eyes full of hearts. “i don’t need it anymore.”

so today, he has an objective. 

jake had treated you to a date night-in. he’d cooked a big, hearty meal using one of jay’s recipes – including all the fucking expensive exotic ingredients – then popped a fine wine to share over a binge of the james bond movies. jay loves them, and jay complained about how you’d fall asleep whenever he put them on.

drinking wine and watching a movie that bores you, jake hadn’t expected you to last long. and yet you’d hardly done either with your tongue down his throat and your hand palming the front of his pants. 

jake had excused himself to the bathroom before he could embarrass himself, furiously jerked off into your toilet, and by the time he returned you were knocked out on the couch. fast asleep, just like he’d planned. 

your sweet, unassuming boyfriend had tip-toed into your bedroom and gone straight for the bottom drawer of your dresser, hitting the jackpot. 

diaries. a whole stack of them. licking his lips, he pulled out his phone and opened up the first one, pressing record as he began to flip through each page. 

all of your thoughts from your relationship with jay, perfectly preserved in writing. every time he upset you, hurt you, every time you fell in and out of love. 

he moved quickly – since there’s no telling if you’d miss him in your slumber and wake up to realise he’s gone – so he could only skim the words as he flicked through, feeling his chest stir and pants tighten with the excitement. he’ll be watching the video back later anyways, when he’s alone and has the time to read it like his own personal bible. 

as much as it kills him inside to turn you down each time you’re both hot and bothered, practically fucking already through your clothes, the sole reason jake has been waiting for is this. he needed to know exactly how jay did it, how you liked it, how he kept you with him for so long. he needs to know the right steps to ensure you’ll never want to leave him. and now he’s got it, in between the pages he flicks with his finger, every word captured on camera. fucking jackpot.

“jakey?”

the diary nearly falls from his hands as you call out to him. it fumbles in his grip, and he holds onto it before it can clatter on the wooden dresser. blowing out a breath to calm himself, he responds right away, “yeah baby?” 

“where’d y’go?” you drawl back, audibly still half-asleep. 

“just getting the bed ready,” he continues to flip through the diary under the sound of his voice, recording the last few pages he needs. “i’ll carry you in, okay?” 

“m’kay..”

jake waits for minutes, putting the diary back and periodically inching the dresser shut, right until it quietly sets back into place. like he was never there. 

yeesh, not even james bond could understand the panic that just coursed through jake’s body. he did it though – he fucking did it! he’s gonna make you his for life. 

—

two pages in and jake thinks he’s scarred for life. 

he already knew you were easy.. he can tell how desperately you’ve wanted it since you’ve started dating, and he could tell throughout your entire relationship with jay. 

not just from jay’s own word of mouth – loudly bragging about how you were always down, how he ‘didn’t know how to handle all that’ – but from jake’s own ears too. he’d walk past locked bathrooms at house parties, recognising the pitch of your moans in a heartbeat through the thin walls. they’d be playing video games over discord calls, and your voice in the background of jay’s mic would disappear, his breaths growing suspiciously heavier.

being around it happening implicitly is one thing, filling the blanks with his imagination as he fucks his fist is another – but this… this is far worse. you really leave nothing to interpretation. 

you slept with jay on the first date – or rather he fucked you, so good and thoroughly that you had no choice but to keep coming back, whether or not he wanted to put a label on it you didn’t care. 

here jake is, playing the long game like a fucking idiot, when you were drunk off jay from one sip. 

he’s helpless to do anything but keep reading though, turning to the next page while it turns his guts inside out. like a car crash he just can’t look away. he needs this knowledge – he needs to know precisely how you want him inside you, so you have no choice but to believe he’s made for you. 

he memorises the words jay used to talk you through it. the details of how his hands and his mouth worked at you expertly. the nitty gritty of how he took you from behind and plowed you. how he was so rough you couldn’t do anything but scream and take it, and yet you loved every second of it. you loved him, and you would’ve let him do whatever he wanted if it meant he loved you back. 

hm. 

jake peaks under the blanket, eyes falling on the tent in his (jay’s) sweats. there’s even a few dark spots on the grey fabric. picking his phone back up, he starts reading where he left off, sighing in relief as he grips himself through the pants. 

who would’ve thought.. reading everything jay did to your body and envisioning it in his head, would have jake this hard. 

shameless, he pulls the waistband down to grip himself properly, wincing as he gathers pre on his palm before coating it over his length. jake whimpers, wrapping his fingers tight and jerking his wrist fast, forcing his eyes open so he can keep reading. 

that time when jay forced your legs apart even though you were overstimulated, how he filled your pussy to the brim with cum and ate it out, spat it in your mouth then fucked it down your throat–

jake moans pathetically as he coats his hoodie in a sudden spurt of cum. his hips kick weakly into his fist, his eyes fluttering shut as he still attempts to read what happened after jay plugged your mouth with his dick. 

with his clean hand, he checks the timestamp on the video, and groans when he sees he’s not even halfway through. he hasn’t even reached the first rough patch (of many) in the relationship, where there’s sure to be copious hate and make-up sex stories awaiting him. 

he’s in for a long night with his right hand. 

—

“jake, what are you thinking?”

jake licks his lips, tasting your spit coating them, as he buys himself time to reply. his hands run up and down your sides, squeezing the curves in his fingers as his length states his exact thoughts where it twitches below you. you chuckle as you feel it, running a hand through his tousled hair, the light scratch of your nails enough to have him whimpering softly. 

honest answer? jake’s thinking about how he spent the last 24 hours reading your diary front to back, how he memorised every single time jay fucked you throughout your entire relationship, how he tired himself out by jerking off to it all night and into the early morning. 

he’d surprised you today by coming over unannounced, capturing your lips in a kiss before you could even greet him as you opened your front door, walking you back into the couch where you’ve been buried in each other’s mouths since. 

somewhere during your needy gropes and whiney kisses, you’d taken the initiative to climb into his lap – and where he’d usually stop things before they could go further, jake had let you rut against him. desperately grinding against the sensitive heat of each other’s bodies, months worth of bottled tension finally let loose. 

“jakey,” you cooed, ripping him from his thoughts as you slowly rolled your hips against him. “what’s up?”

he huffs a laugh. “me.” you roll your eyes, quickly distracted by how his hands guide you to grind harder, earning a shudder from the boy below you. “nah, i’m just.. i still can’t believe you’re real.”

and he means that more than you could know. he’s spent years yearning over the view of the back of your head or your blurry figure in the distance, and now you’re on top of him, when all it took was fitting the mold your ex left behind. in every way.

his breath hitches, length giving another harsh pulse beneath you, and you throw your head back with a frustrated groan, “urgh, i’ve been waiting so long, jake.”

“i know,” he stifles another whimper, trying to keep a cool, collected composure as he praises you. just how you like. “you’ve done so well, baby, i’m proud of you–”

“just let me sit on your dick already!”

jake stammers, completely taken aback. he mentally cross-references how you’re behaving with him right now to how you wrote about jay. you enjoyed intimacy best when jay guided and talked you through it. you liked being manhandled, you loved being fucked, and yet you’re.. bossing jake around? 

this isn’t going how it should be…

“i want you in me, jake.” you utter, breath fanning his lips as your hand wedges between where your bodies connect. “i wanna ride you.” his eyes flutter shut at the feel of your palm gripping his length, while you grind yourself against your own hand, too worked up for how slow he’s taking this. “let me?” 

shit, he almost did. he lost himself for a moment there – slipping back into the fumbling, awkward mess he is and not the stone-faced dominant man that he’s supposed to be right now. he needs to be jay for you. 

“you think you can tell me what to do?” he sneers, grabbing your ass with a slap, hard enough to make you gasp. he pushes down the swell in his chest that feels bad for being rough. “that’s no way to get what you want, baby.”

“jake–” you squeak out, gasping again louder as he pushes you down by the hips, hard enough for his length to dig up into you with a roll of his hips. your eyes widen, from his size and from this new side of him. “i– i’m sorry..”

he hums, unconvinced. “you use your manners when you ask.” jake commands, not even recognising himself from this foreign tone of voice. he’d bet he sounds exactly like your ex with how your body turns to putty under his hands. 

you gulp, your eyes glazing over with something he doesn’t recognise. submission, must be. “please?” your voice comes out barely above a whisper.

jake pokes his cheek with his tongue – something jay did that drove you crazy – and watches the effect it has on you in real time as your hips grind on him once more, needy for some damn relief. jake’s grip on you tightens enough to make you pause, and he tuts at you in disapproval. 

“please.” you almost whine. “jake, please, i’ve needed you so bad. please let me ride you, i’ll be so good.”

the sweetest girl he’s ever known, reduced to a begging mess because of how perfectly he embodied your ex. he almost loses it again, almost gives in and lets you ride him until he sees stars, but jake locks back in with a reminder: what would jay do?

he runs through each verse of your diary he knows by heart at this point, and after coming to a conclusion of how jay would proceed – jake chuckles in your face. 

“nah.”

within a blink jake’s got you off his lap and on your back, pressed into the couch by his chest on yours. 

“we’re doing this my way,” he talks you through it as he tugs down your pants, unsurprised to find an absence of underwear. easy. “what you need, baby, is to get fucked.” you whine as his teeth nip at your neck, his tongue licking the sting. “then maybe, if you’re so good, you can ask again.” he almost cries out as his fingers find your pussy, wetness coating the tips. “nicely this time.”

“ah, jake–” you moan loudly for him, two fingers running through your folds before settling at your clit, rubbing digit eights over the throbbing bundle of nerves. 

“you’ve been waiting so long?” jake scoffs, quick fingers circling your clit as you writhe beneath him. “baby. you have no idea about me.”

“a-ah! i’m sorry!” you babble, to jake’s confusion. your big, glossy eyes find his, your puffy lips from all his kisses trembling. ah, you must be deep in it. this is seriously too easy. you’ll really get off on being talked down on by jake, just because your ex did it first?

not even a few seconds later you’re clamping your thighs around his wrist, mouth dropping open in a moan, and it takes him a moment to realise you’re cumming already. that took.. nothing. he makes sure to rub you through it, and even a little after until you’re pushing at his chest, whining that it’s too much. 

jake’s dick throbs in his sweats, the grey sweats, diary passages flashing in his mind of you writing about jay getting you off. how you’d daydream about the sex for weeks after because of how well he worked your body, how obsessed you were with it. jake almost cums in his fucking pants just thinking about how well he’s doing in mimicking your ex – and you’re drunk off it, you don’t even realise that you’re about to get fucked by the exact same man. 

jake rips off both layers restraining him almost painfully at this point, tugging them down only to his knees before he’s back on top of you, lining his cock up with your sopping pussy. you just whimper, too far gone to even beg for him anymore. 

with one thrust, jake slides all the way in, the tight fit airing out every thought in his brain. you try to hold onto him with shaky fingers, and he softly shushes each of your whimpers, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. trying to comforting you, even as you’re gripping him like a fucking vice. everything he’s ever wanted, everything he’s sacrificed his entire identity for, gripping him. wet and hot and perfect and so fucking worth it.

he’s able to hold back on cumming solely because of all the recent jerking off to your diary. he sucks in a breath through his teeth, forcing himself to speak, to keep you under his spell. 

“you feel so perfect, baby,” he kisses your forehead, and you stare up at him with that dazed look still in your eyes. “i’m gonna fucking wreck you.”

jake snaps his hips, roughly pushing every inch in, and you break off into helpless little moans as he starts to fuck you properly. he bites his lower lip, keeping all of his own in so he can stay the picture of the cold, dominant man you want so badly. he only lets you adjust to the fit while he’s fucking you, your pussy fluttering around him. it must sting, it must be pain mixed with pleasure right now, and yet you’re taking all of him without protest. because that’s just how you like it. 

once you’ve adjusted enough to stop sucking him in, jake tilts his hips to angle his thrusts up, hitting that sweet spot that has you whimpering his name. 

“yeah, baby?” he almost taunts you as he pushes himself all the way in, soiling his balls in your sticky arousal as he grinds forward, tip nudging your cervix. jake laughs through his sudden rage of jay having this under him everyday and still breaking your heart. that’d be the one difference between them – jake won’t be that stupid. “feels good huh?”

you can’t even get his name out, let alone words anymore, as you lay limply beneath him, heat blooming in your gut as he rubs his length along your g-spot. your eyes roll back into your head, lips stretching in a silent moan, and jake cusses as he realises what’s happening before you clamp down on him, too tight for him to pull back. 

you cum again, overcome with twitches through your body and around his cock, and jake just watches in bewilderment. of course you wouldn’t lie in your own diary, but.. you really are too easy. you’ve popped off twice and he’s barely gotten started. 

jake runs his hands over your body as he waits for you to come back to him, sliding his palms under your shirt to pinch and twist at your nipples. you whimper, so sensitive. 

“c’mere, baby, you’re doing so well,” he pulls your chin into a sweet kiss, right before he slides back into jay. “you’re gonna take more for me. right?”

you nod. pliant, fucked out, so so perfect.

jake smiles, thinking of where to even start with the things he wants to do to you, before remembering that one story in your diary he kept coming back to, the one he came hard to like none other. the one you said was the moment you knew you’d fallen in love with jay. 

he wants to see it happen for himself. 

jake pins your thighs down to the couch cushions, pries your legs apart, and fucks into you like a madman, like a dog in heat. he’s chasing nothing but his own release as he pounds you into the couch, and he can’t help the soft whimpers he lets slip as the aftershocks of your orgasms has your pussy fluttering around him. 

jake’s vision whites out, his ears ring, as pure bliss floods his body, his hips kicking rapidly until he’s spilling out inside of you. he’s so possessed he doesn’t even stop fucking you, not fully registering that he came with how in his head he is. what would jay sound like? how hard would jay go?

“ja..” you try to say his name, trailing off halfway. 

he opens his eyes – not even realising they closed – as he looks down at you. you’re even more gone than he is. do you even realise that it’s not your ex fucking you stupid right now? 

with a perfect face like that under him, wrapped around him, how is he ever meant to stop?

jake hisses as he pulls out abruptly, leaving a quick kiss on your lips before he crawls down, latching his mouth around your pussy. you scream for him, shoved way past overstim as his tongue ravages you, the mixture of cum gushing onto jake’s tongue. 

“j-ja–! ja– ja–!” you stutter, too weak to even get his full name out. jake’s groan rumbles on your clit, his cock leaking into the cushions as it hardens again, realising that his stuttered name sounds like you’re saying jay. 

j-jay! jay– jay–!

he’s done it. he succeeded, he won. he became jay. 

“keep on saying that, baby,” jake manages to huff out while he laps at you feverishly, the taste of your shared love lighting up his tongue as he eats the cum out of you – right until you’re letting loose for a third time, moaning that broken version of his name through it and driving him fucking insane. jake lets it all flood into his mouth, sucking his lips until he’s releasing your clit with a wet pop. 

he lifts himself up again until he’s at level with you, parting your lips with his thumb and waiting until you meet his eyes before he spits the mess of fluids directly onto your tongue. your lashes flutter, and he can see it as you sink even further into that floaty state of mind. 

“hold it.” he tells you, rising on his knees and shuffling forward, holding his cock by the base as he directs it to your mouth. “open, baby.”

you do as told, of course you do, letting jake bury himself to the hilt in the wet heat of your mouth. the underside glides over the cum still warm on your tongue, and jake shudders above you, feeling faint in the head from just how fucking hard he is for you. 

“you gotta return the favour, yeah?” he only hopes you don’t notice how breathless he is, how he’s just as much of a mess as you are. if he wasn’t putting on this whole jay persona, he’d be a fucking embarrasing bitch for you right now. 

you nod, and jake pulls out before pushing back in, tip bumping the back of your throat. he moans unabashedly, fucking the hollow of your mouth, feeling how you constrict around him. how you gag yet make no move to push him off. easy. perfect. just like jay made you, just like you are for jake to have now. 

jake snaps his hips ruthlessly until his abs tighten, his cock pulsing until he’s shooting out down your throat. he stays shaking above you, sweating all over, until slowly pulling himself out. he catches your throat bob in a gulp, and he thinks he’s ready for yet another round. 

before he can even put a thought to it though, a sudden sob from you has his entire being seizing in panic. tears burst out from your eyes, streaming down your face as you try to cover it with your hands. 

“oh no, no, hey,” jake pulls you into a hug, what jay would do the last thought in his mind as he instantly worries he took it too far. he reminded you too much of him, you caught on to his act. “baby, did i hurt you? did i–”

“no, jake,” you cut in, and he pulls back, his brows pinched in confusion. “you didn’t do anything. it all felt really good, you were really good, i just–” another sob chokes up your words, and he just shushes you as he cradles you to his chest, relief flooding all the worry in his system.

what you don’t tell him, what you chose to keep to yourself, is that you thought of jay. when jake was eating you out, and you’re sure you must’ve even said your ex’s name a few times as you came, too deep in subspace to realise what you were doing. to realise that it was your boyfriend and not the last man who’d put you there.

everything jake was doing and saying, it just.. reminded you of him, so much. you don’t miss him, you don’t still love him. it’s just hard for your body to unlearn the ways that someone else has already hammered into them. 

“i’m so sorry,” you sniffle. “jake.” you tack on, as if trying to remind your body who you’re with. 

“no, no.” he shushes you, stroking your hair. “it’s okay, there’s nothing to be sorry for.”

he really is too perfect for you. you don’t know how you’ll ever deserve someone as pure as him. 

“i love you.” 

jake pulls back, eyes flitting around your face as if searching for any sign that you’re not serious. “wh– you.. you mean that?”

“i do.” you smile, and he mirrors you, lips stretching wide. “i love you, jakey.”

it’s the first time he’s heard it from you. it might be too early, but you don’t care. nothing’s too early if it’s all fate, all meant to be. 

“i love you more.” he rocks you in his arms, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “more than you could ever know.”

your body stiffens as you’re suddenly transported back in time – living out a once fond memory with jay, how he’d said those exact words back after you’d said you love him first. 

jay– no, jake, just holds you tighter, snapping you clean out of your silly rumination. you curl into your boyfriend, forcing your ex out of your mind where he had no business hanging around.

jake wasn’t him, he’d never be him. what were you tripping for?

“nah. im just watching dumb videos. you okay? you sound weird.”

weird. yeah. that was one word for it.

he leaned forward a little, curling into himself, phone tucked between his cheek and shoulder while his other hand kept working over his cock. he was flushed to the neck, chest mottled with heat, pulse visible in his throat.

every time he heard your voice through the speaker, it was like a jolt right to his cock — he could feel the way your mouth moved, imagine how your lips would wrap around syllables if he were just a bit closer.

he bit his bottom lip, hard.

“i’m fine,” he said quickly, too quickly, then swallowed. “just… wanted to talk to you.”

he was already so close and that was humiliating in its own right.

your voice was casual, kind. “oh, yeah? what about?”

mark gritted his teeth, hips twitching upward into his palm. “i… i dunno. just missed your voice.”

a pause. you laughed softly.

“that’s weird. you literally saw me earlier today.”

“i know.”

mark closed his eyes, pressing the heel of his palm against the base of his cock to try and slow himself down. it didn’t help. he was throbbing. leaking. his stomach muscles clenched tight every time you said anything.

“but… i like hearing you.”

you went quiet for a beat. “you sure you’re okay? you sound kinda…”

“i’m fine,” mark said again, but his voice broke in the middle of it, strained and raspy, like he was talking through gritted teeth.

he had to pull the phone back a little as a soft, stuttered moan slipped out of him.

shit.

his hand kept moving — too fast now, driven by pure instinct. he tried to breathe slow, tried to pretend he wasn’t literally jerking off with your voice in his ear, but you weren’t helping.

you chuckled again. “you sound like you’re sweating or something. hot in your room?”

“y-yeah,” mark gasped, closing his fist tighter. “hot. so, so hot.”

his knuckles were turning white around the phone. he pressed it harder to his ear, needing to hear every note of your voice. his eyes fluttered shut, head falling back against the wall behind his bed. sweat was already gathering under his arms, on his lower back, on the backs of his thighs. jus toes curled into the sheets, ankles twitching with every slick stroke of his hand.

you kept talking. talking like everything was normal. like your best friend wasn’t secretly jerking off to your voice and biting his fist to keep from moaning into the receiver.

“you been staying up late again?” you asked. “you really sound tired.”

mark choked on a sound that wasn’t a laugh, wasn’t a sob, wasn’t quite a moan.

“mmh—yeah. c-can’t sleep…”

“you should take melatonin or something. or stop watching porn at 3am.”

if only you knew.

mark was panting now, trying to keep it quiet, but every breath was a tremor. his thighs shook with tension, every muscle in his body drawn tight like a bowstring. he sped up again without meaning to, his body begging for release. it wasn’t just the friction. it was you — your voice, your laugh, the way you sounded like you were half-asleep and smiling through every word.

and fuck, he wanted you to hear. even if it ruined everything.

“hey,” you said again, more curious now. “you really okay? you sound like you’re—”

“i’m f—fuck,” mark hissed through his teeth, a broken sound slipping out before he could stop it.

his back arched. he turned his face into the pillow beside him and bit down, hard. his whole body jerked with need.

“s-sorry, sorry—”

you blinked on the other end. “mark… are you… are you sick or something?”

“n-no,” mark whimpered, voice cracking again.

his chest was heaving, cock twitching wildly in his hand now. the wet slick noises of it were starting to get louder — he was so close it hurt.

“just… ngh—just don’t stop talking. please.”

you paused, clearly confused.

“mark, you sure you’re okay? your voice sounds—like you’re in pain or something. you’re not crying, right?”

he almost was.

“no—n-not crying. j-just…”

his fingers slipped, the slick glide of his palm stuttering for a second. he couldn’t do this much longer. every syllable you said was like fuel thrown on the fire. his entire body was one big live wire, and all it would take was one more second of your voice, soft and unknowing in his ear, and he’d—

“oh fuck—fuckfuck—ah—” he gasped suddenly, louder than he meant to.

he couldn’t stop it. his hips jerked up off the bed, his legs kicked once, hard, heel catching on the sheet.

“shit—”

“mark?”

bit it was too late.

he came with a guttural noise halfway between a gasp and a whimper, hand still pumping as thick heat spilled across his abs, wrist, stomach. his thighs were trembling, whole body shaking, the pleasure rolling over him in uncontrollable, stuttering waves. he clenched the phone so tight it creaked in his palm.

your voice cut through the haze.

“…wait. are you—holy shit. were you jerking off?”

mark froze. his face was bright red, chest heaving, jaw slack as the last pulses of pleasure shook through him.

he didn’t answer. he couldn’t.

the silence stretched — the only thing in his room now was the sound of him breathing. hard and shallow. still a little shaky, his hand still cupped over the base of his cock, half-hard and twitching against his sticky palm.

the mess was cooling on his stomach, and he was pretty sure his heart had stopped beating somewhere between orgasm and panic.

“…mark?”

you sounded different now. not angry. not teasing. just… surprised. confused. and a little quieter. your voice had dropped half a note, softer in a way that made his throat close. mark swallowed.

his voice cracked when he finally said it :

“y-yeah.”

one word. barely more than a whisper.

he shifted in bed, feeling how damp the sheets were under his thighs, how raw his skin felt, sensitive to the air now. still holding the phone, mark let out a low, shaky breath and forced himself to speak again.

“i was. i… i was jerking off.”

silence.

god, he wanted to disappear. the shame was burning. he shut his eyes and dragged a hand down his face, fingers shaking slightly. his cock gave a small, involuntary twitch in his hand even now. he should’ve hung up. should’ve made up some lie. should’ve said anything else.

instead, he added : “i couldn’t stop thinking about your voice. it—fuck, it made it worse. better. i don’t know. i just—needed it.”

there was a pause on the other end. but this one felt different.

“…damn,” you finally said.

the word came out low, cautious.

mark’s breath caught. he squeezed his eyes shut.

“you’re mad,” he mumbled, voice hoarse. “i get it, i’m—fucked up, i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have called—”

“no,” you cut in fast. “no, i’m not mad.”

mark blinked. “you’re… not?”

“i mean…” you hesitated. “that’s kinda… hot.”

mark sat up straighter, heart kicking into a full sprint again. “what?”

your voice was a little different now. lower. a little breathy. “you really called me… while you were doing that?”

mark nodded before realizing you couldn’t see it.

“y-yeah.”

he was still hard. somehow. his body didn’t know how to stop with you still on the phone, your voice suddenly filled with something heavier. curiosity? tension? hunger? whatever it was, it sparked like a live wire right in his chest.

“you… wanted to hear me that bad?” you asked.

and mark could picture the look on your face now — confused, pink-cheeked, maybe biting your lip the way you always did when you were trying to process something fast.

“i did,” mark whispered. “i wanted to imagine you in my ear. i already was. but when i actually heard you… i couldn’t stop. you sounded so warm. like—like you were laying next to me.”

“shit,” you mutter, your breath hitched now. “that’s…”

mark gripped the phone tighter. “what?”

“kind of really hot,” you admitted. “like, weirdly hot.”

something inside mark broke open at that.

his hand reflexively slid down over his cock again — not stroking yet, but holding it, grounding himself in sensation, in your voice and the feeling of still being on the edge, desperate for more. his stomach clenched, hips shifting under the blankets.

“are you…” he tried. “turned on right now?”

a soft exhale from you bedore you anwser.

“yeah.”

the sound mark made wasn’t even a word. just a needy gasp, like he’d been underwater and your answer let him breathe again. he rolled his hips forward a little into his palm, dragging his fingers lightly over the head of his cock. still sensitive. almost unbearable.

“can i come over?” you asked.

mark’s breath hitched. the thought was overwhelming, making his cock twitch even more.

“yes,” he said immediately, too fast, too eager. his voice cracked on it, raw and wet with want. “yes, please—fuck, i want you to.”

there was a pause — not hesitation, but heat. you were quiet for a second, and he could hear you shifting on the other end, probably sitting up now, heart racing like his.

“leave the door unlocked,” you said.

mark nodded again, even though you couldn’t see.

“hurry.”

he didn’t hang up.

hair pulling w gyu

gyu & tit sucking

biting & marking gyu

tying gyu w ribbons

nipple play w gyu

nipple piercings gyu

himbo gyu

some fem!gyu thoughts

phone sex w gyu

nsfw link gyu eating you out

nsfw link pegging beomgyu

nsfw link virgin gyu

nsfw link gyu w fleshlight

nsfw link house husband gy

marking gyu’s tummy

more sub gyu nsfw links

praise kink w buff gyu

gyu sucking your strap

ear kink w gyu 😭

neck kink w gyu

silly goofy sex w gyu

tracing hickeys post sex w gyu

pegging beomgyu

perv switchy gyu

more switch gyu

gyu in a bunny outfit

beomgyu w sensitive thighs

bratty needy beomgyu

drunk needy gyu

shower sex w gyu

angel/devil beomkai

perv pillow humper kai

body worship w Kai

sub! taehyun thoughts

sub hybrid txt

bad astrology txt thoughts

The keys were supposed to be left in the flower pot next to the door. Except you’ve been digging through the dirt for about ten minutes now and there wasn’t as much as a trace of the small piece of metal. Confused, you check your phone once more, re-reading the message sent to you by the airbnb owner. This had to be the right pot, where else could they possibly have put it?

Frustrated and tired, you glance back toward your car. You had come such a long way for this, finding the most beautifully located residence, just by the ocean — excited to spend a couple of nights alone and away from the hectic life you lived. And now you were going to be sleeping in your car? Just because the owner had misplaced something as vital as the keys. 

This was such bullshit. Rubbing the back of your head, your finger hovered above the call button in a last attempt at getting through and at least getting your money back. But before you can actually make the call — the front door swings open. 

Startled, you stumble backward, a surprised yelp getting caught in your throat. Your eyes immediately fall on the broad and — naked, chest in front of you. Skin damp and glistening with remnants of water, a towel hung low on his hips accentuating a sharp v line that undoubtedly lead to something you could only—

“Ahem”, the man clears his throat, causing your attention to snap back up to meet his gaze. His dark hair is still wet and it was obvious that he had just stepped out of the shower, which meant you had just interrupted him with all your cursing and shuffling about on the front porch of his house. 

Wait, what? 

His house? No, this was your house, you were renting it. Then why the hell was there a stranger currently residing in it? The key, he must have it. 

“Can I help you?” He asks, the thick brows on his forehead furrowed into a confused frown. You blink once, then twice — “Uh, yeah. I’m renting this place.” Straightening back up, you try to appear somewhat bigger, which proved futile against his much taller frame. 

The man scoffs, his hand gripping the doorframe as he shakes his head. “I think you have the wrong house, I’m renting this place", he says flatly. 

No, that couldn’t be. You had double checked the dates before getting in the car this morning, then a third time when you stopped for gas. There was no way you were mistaken. You glance to the left, the house number was correct too. This was your place. “Are you sure you’re not in the wrong house?” You ask, folding your arms across your chest as you send him a challenging look. 

The man huffs, but doesn’t appear angry with you — merely amused. “Does it look like I’m in the wrong house?” He wonders as he motions toward his barely dressed body, making you audibly swallow as your gaze drifted lower against your will. 

“You have to be, I’ve rented it from today and until the end of the week”, you state as you fish out your phone to bring forward the booking details. He leans forward, the fresh scent of shampoo filling your nostrils as he peers at your screen — the frown on his face deepening tenfold. “I have it rented until this Thursday”, he mutters, the confusion evident in his voice.

“So what? They double booked us?” Dragging a hand down your face, you stifle a groan. “Fuck, I paid for this shit – do you have any idea how long I’ve been in the car today?” 

The man’s lip twitches at your words. He nods toward the silver BMW parked just in front of your own, “I have a rough idea.” 

Feeling slightly flustered at his obvious remark, you avert your gaze as you clear your throat. Right, of course. Well seems like that was your vacation then. With a defeated sigh your attention returns to the phone in your hand. — “What are you doing?” The man asks, not-so-subtly leaning forward to peek at the screen. 

“I’m looking for a hotel”, you murmur, unable to hide the frustration and exhaustion in your tone as your fingers scroll through the cheapest alternatives. 

“Don’t”, he suddenly says, and you freeze when his large hand wraps around your wrist. Perplexed, you gaze up at him. He wears an almost sheepish expression, quickly releasing his grip on you whilst clearing his throat. “I mean, you’ve already paid for it — it’s only fair you get to stay.” 

“As long as you feel comfortable sharing the space with me that is”, he then quickly adds — a faint hint of a blush creeping onto his smooth cheeks. “Really?” You ask, “That’d be okay with you?” 

The man nods, giving you a small smile as he steps to the side to allow you inside. “I’ll just uh, go put some clothes on”, he shyly murmurs — as if suddenly remembering that he’d opened the door in nothing but a towel. 

Grateful for his offer, you reach for your bag, swinging it over your shoulder. When passing him in the cramped doorway you try your hardest to ignore the way your arm practically brushes against the expanse of his naked chest — pushing down the flutters that arose in your stomach. The door clicks shut behind you, the sound of the lock twisting in place echoing throughout the hallway. 

It was then you realized that you had just agreed to share an airbnb with a complete stranger. 

The man, who you learned was named Soobin, turned out to be a decent guy. It was a little awkward in the beginning, given your tense first interactions with one another. But that quickly subsided and gave way to fun and light hearted conversation. The two of you cooked dinner together, splitting the wine bottle you’d initially brought for yourself. Even then, you came to the conclusion that things were always better shared in good company. 

You find out that Soobin works for a tech company and that he, too, was away on a little getaway vacation. You also learned, much to your contempt, that he was single. Not that it should matter because you probably would never see each other again as soon as this trip came to an end, but it still filled your chest with a sliver of hope. 

As the evening hours passed by in a blur, the sun set outside of your window — and the atmosphere suddenly shifted. Sprawled on each end of the couch, knees almost brushing against one another, the previous laughter slowly simmered down. Up until now the air had been filled with jokes and shared stories of your past. But as the late hour drew in closer, another, more demanding matter called for both of your attention. 

“I can take the couch”, Soobin says. His voice breaks the momentary silence and you turn to look at him. “No, I couldn’t let you do that”, you say whilst shaking your head, “You were here first, all your stuff is in there — I don’t want to mess with anything.” 

Soobin’s tongue prods against the inside of his cheek as he remains silent. There’s a slight flush to his face, the lingering aftermath of the bottle of wine you had both managed to finish. You could still feel the alcohol buzzing through your system, leaving your chest feeling warm and fuzzy. 

Your eyes are glued to him, straying by the white t-shirt he’d thrown on a couple of hours prior. The image of his naked chest is still glued in your mind, and you can’t help but think back to your arrival here. Water droplets clinging to his skin, towel hung low on his hips. — You tried to snap out of it, but looking at Soobin like this, in the soft glow of the footlamp behind him… It was hardly any different. 

His dark eyes find yours — there’s something more than just concern lingering within them. “I want you to have the bed”, he says, and the way he says it, with so much authority… It makes a shiver crawl down your spine. Perhaps it was the alcohol, or the weight of the late hour. But something made you feel a strange wave of excitement. 

With a grateful nod you accept his offer, awkwardly standing by the doorway as Soobin grabs a couple of his things to take with him to the couch. He’d asked if you wanted him to change the sheets beforehand, but you had told him not to bother. It already felt like you were taking too much. 

He passed you in the narrow doorway, his chest nearly brushing your own as he glanced down at you. “Goodnight”, he murmurs, not waiting for your response as he hurriedly makes his way toward the couch. 

Once the door to the bedroom is shut, you exhale a sigh you had been holding in. The room is small, yet still fitting a desk and a chair by the window, as well as a small dresser pushed up against one of the walls. The bed itself is queen sized, blanket neatly folded and pillows piled to perfection. But as you slid under the covers it became obvious that someone else had slept here. 

The scent of Soobin’s cologne invades your senses and against your better judgement you roll onto your stomach, pressing your face against the pillow as you inhale. He was everywhere, despite not even being present in the room. You can imagine his naked chest against this same mattress, his tall frame tangled between the sheets. 

The images, while not unpleasant — were still unwelcome. You grimace, feeling like somewhat of a pervert for even having these thoughts about the poor guy in the other room. Is this what he would get for taking you in? A sick freak who fantasizes about him at night. No, you promptly turn over on your back, folding your arms across your chest as you stubbornly wait for sleep to overtake you. 

But sleep never comes. 

Hours pass, the sound of the small clock on your bedside table goes from slightly comforting to daunting. Each tic signaling the slow passing of time. Shifting from left to right, you remain unable to find a comfortable position. You’re just about to give up and go see if Soobin was having the same struggles when a noise from the other side of the door catches your attention. 

The sound is muffled through the wood but it’s loud enough to make you sit up in bed, a frown tugging on your brows. Relief fills you, perhaps he was awake as well. The thought of company puts your restless mind at ease and you eagerly swing your legs over the edge of the mattress. 

Your feet tread lightly on the floorboards, hand hovering above the doorhandle for less than a second before twisting it. The door glides open without as much as a creak and you peer out through the opening. The couch was within sight from where you were currently standing and you expected to find Soobin up scrolling through his phone. 

What you didn’t expect was for him to have one hand down his sweats, jerking himself off vigorously with his head thrown back against the pillow. His shirt has slid up, exposing the tense muscles of his abdomen. One leg sprawled out across the couch, the other one bent as the heel of his foot dug into the cushion. 

Gagged, you watch in silence as the man you had met less than twelve hours prior gets himself off on the couch of your shared airbnb. You realize then that the sound you heard must’ve been a slip of his tongue whilst caught in bliss, and not from being unable to sleep on the uncomfortable couch. 

Torn between right and wrong, desire and reason, you stay by the door. For every second you spent watching him, the guiltier you felt. But the thought of interrupting him was almost twice the task. With a small gulp you attempt to revert back into the safety of the bedroom. Taking a tentative step backward, your foot lands on one of the house’s sweet spots, making it groan under your weight. 

The sound is enough to snap Soobin from his daze, his head jerking in your direction as his hand pulls back from his sweats. His eyes are wide, sweat sticking to his forehead as his chest heaves. For a moment you wondered if the alcohol was playing a trick on you — it hadn’t felt like much when you drank, but you had been wrong before. 

But when Soobin’s hoarse voice breaks the silence, you know that it’s real. “What… What are you doing out here?” He asks, and if it weren’t for how dark the room was, you would have probably been able to catch the flush of his cheeks. 

“I couldn’t sleep”, you reply, taking a hesitant step forward as the moonlight illuminates your silhouette. Soobin nods, his throat bobbing when he swallows. “Me neither…” He says. 

“Yeah, I figured.” 

You don’t know what compelled you to approach him when you should be bidding him goodnight and turning on your heel again. In fact you should try to forget everything you have just seen and go straight to sleep. But your body betrays you and you move forward. 

Soobin watches you, his eyes burning with unmistakable desire that only pushes you further. You stop by the edge of the couch, peering down at him through the darkness of the night. Your gaze drifts to his pushed down sweats, leaving behind a sliver of skin that shone in the moonlight. “Do you want any help?” 

The question was outright uncalled for, and had you not still been affected by the alcohol still running through your veins, the words would have never even left your mouth in the first place. 

You expect him to say no, to demand you leave him alone to wallow in his own shame. But he doesn’t. Instead he nods, the tilt of his head so subtle you barely caught it. “Yeah”, he breathes, hands clenching into fists by his sides as he regards you expectantly. 

Without wasting another second you climb on top of him, straddling his hips as you make yourself comfortable on his lap. It’s impossible to ignore the way he strains against his sweats, his body aching with demand that meets your own and you have to physically restrain yourself from grinding down on him. 

Soobin gazes up at you from where he lays, his dark hair falls like a crown around his head — chest heaving with each breath he takes. Large hands reach for your waist, his grip firm but gentle as he waits for you to act, like he still couldn’t believe this was real. 

Maybe this was a bad idea? You had both been drinking, hell you barely even knew each other. But the persistent throb between your legs clouds your judgement and before you can stop yourself you’re moving on top of him, gasping when his hard cock brushes against your cunt through the thick layers of clothes you both wear. 

“Fuck”, Soobin murmurs under his breath, eyes glued to your figure as he drinks in the sight of you on top of him. 

Your hands reach for his shirt, desperate to see the naked chest you had been picturing in your head for the past day. He goes willingly, letting you pull the cotton from his body as he releases his grip on you for a moment. — Tossing the shirt to the side, your gaze falls on his exposed torso, illuminated by the moonlight that filtered through the windows. 

“I want to touch you”, you murmur without slowing the pace of your rocking hips against his. Soobin quickly nods, his lips parted as his hands return to your waist, urging you closer. 

The tip of your fingers brushes over the smooth expanse of his chest, relishing in the way he shudders beneath you. He was perfection, sculpted by something otherworldly just for you. He groans when your nails dig into his skin, back arching off of the couch as he pants. 

Your once slow grinding on top of him had turned almost fervent, the barrier of clothes keeping you from what you really wanted. “Please, more”, you whine as you claw at the muscles adorning his stomach. 

Soobin doesn’t need to be told twice, fingers already hooked around the pajama shorts you had put on as he tugs them down with intent. You help him undress you, the buzz of alcohol crushing any sense of bashfulness at how you looked before him. The air is cold against your naked skin but you barely register it over the heat of his hands on you. 

“You’re beautiful”, he murmurs when you impatiently pull his sweats down his thighs. Your breath stutters at his words, a small smile striking your features as you glance over at him. He’s already watching you, the soft expression he wears making your heart flutter. 

The foreplay would’ve probably been sweet, somewhat desperate, but neither of you seemed to even toy with the idea of waiting as much as a second longer. Your fingers wrap around his cock, marveling at how heavy he feels in your hand as you line him with your aching cunt. You bite back a moan when his tip bumps against your clit, the brief contact sending sparks of electricity through you.

“I can’t wait any longer..” You murmur as you meet his gaze. Soobin makes a noise at the back of his throat, somewhere between a groan and a whine. 

“Then don’t.” 

Your heart thumps at his words, hand gripping him even firmer as you ease yourself down on him, gasping at how good he feels inside of you. Soobin’s hands are back on your waist, like they belonged there. He tugs you down, nestling his cock as deep into your cunt as it would go with one firm thrust. 

His brows furrow with barely controlled restraint as he feels you clench around him. “Fuck, you have to move”, he practically demands — his voice tinged with the same authority it held when he’d instructed you to take the bad rather than the couch. Something about the way he so gently took the lead made you shudder uncontrollably. 

Your hips move against him, basking in the way he fills you up. It was almost too much and your hands brace themselves on his chest when you lean forward. Eyes lingering on his plump lips, slightly parted as his ragged breaths escape them. Somewhere in that moment you realized that you hadn’t even kissed him. 

Without thinking twice you reach for his face, fingers grasping for his chin as you pull him toward you. Soobin doesn’t resist, allowing you to meet him halfway and seal him into a kiss filled with a thousand unspoken words. Feeling him against you like that only amplified the heat between your joint bodies — his cock twitching inside your cunt when you slip your tongue against his. 

He groans into your mouth, large hands traveling under your shirt and up your back as he raises his hips to meet your already frantic movements. “More”, you gasp, fingers digging into the sides of his face. It wasn’t enough, nothing would ever be.  

You bite on to his bottom lip when Soobin’s thumb snakes between your legs, thumb brushing over your clit in tantalizing circles. Your thighs clench, body trembling as you feel your orgasm approach with record speed — something that would probably have embarrassed you any night but tonight. 

“Cum on my cock”, Soobin groans, the hand previously on your back moving down to the curve of your ass, “Please.” The simple yet soft and vulnerable plea rolling off of his lips is enough to make you spiral. Breaking apart from the kiss, you bury your face in the crook of his neck, inhaling the same scent that had driven you mad only an hour ago. 

Your moan brushes against his skin, cunt clenching vigorously around him when you finish. The pace of your hips stutters and grows jagged, but Soobin is there to catch you — unwavering in the way he caresses you. 

“Perfect”, he murmurs against the side of your face, his own hips thrusting up inside you despite the way your body aches for reprieve. You feel weightless on top of him, barely holding yourself upright as you feel his strong hands all over you. 

His voice is strained when he speaks, the request almost silent on his lips. “Can I..?” 

It takes you a moment to register his question, but when you do you give him a small nod. “Yes, please yes.” 

Soobin’s grip is unyielding from that point, his chest heaving under you he jerks up into your overstimulated cunt. Muttered curses fly under his breath, each one of them making you tingle with want. His pace becomes uncoordinated, cock twitching inside of you as he cums with a breathless groan. 

The warmth of his releases spreads through your stomach, the sensation making you dizzy as you cling on to him. He doesn’t pull out, too tired to even move as his arms wrap around your already limp frame. — Tugging you down on his chest, you listen to the rapid beating of your heart, eyes peering up at his face through your lashes. 

He sends you a small smile, one that makes him look all the more handsome with the dazed expression he wears. The feeling of his palm against your cheek is comforting, and it makes you realize that having someone to share with was far better than being alone. 

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“hey.” jeno greeted you, standing at your front door, which only meant one thing. they fought again.

you pushed the door wider, letting him inside. he looked like a mess, his shoulders slumped, dark bags around his eyes, hair disheveled. even from afar, you could tell he was going through something. his phone was in his hand, checking for notifications, but he let out a huge sigh when the home screen was empty.

“do i even want to know?” you prodded, eyes watching him as he plopped down on the couch. his head tilted back on the headrest, mind filled with thoughts.

“you know how she is.” jeno mumbled, rubbing his face with his hands. “said she needed some space.”

unfortunately, i do know how she is. jeno’s girlfriend, karina. they’ve been together since first year of college when jeno met her at some random party. they were the kind of couple on campus that, at first glance, seemed perfect, but you knew all too well what kind of chaos haunted them in private. you were too familiar with how she behaved with jeno; most of the time, you couldn’t help but feel sorry for him.

jeno didn’t even have to say anything when you saw him at your front door. you have grown accustomed to this pattern: the same heartache, apologies, and cycle of hope and disappointment. and every time it occurred, jeno ended up here—at your door, at your couch, sulking.

you wanted nothing more than to scold jeno for letting himself get run over by her, but you kept your lips sealed. deciding that giving him comfort and support was what he needed right now.

“again, huh?” you sat down on the opposite side of him, tucking your legs beneath you.

“i don’t even know what that means, y/n.” jeno sighed, running his hand through his hair. he lifted his head to face you, gaze soft as he held eye contact with you. “one minute, everything’s perfect, and we’re fine, but suddenly, i’ve apparently done something wrong, and she won't even tell me.” his voice cracked, hopelessness evident in his tone. it pained you to see him like this. how many times is he going to let her do this to him?

“well, did you do something wrong?” you asked, but you knew jeno too well, he wouldn’t do anything to sabotage his relationship. sure, he has made mistakes in the past, but he was a good person, a good friend, and a good lover, you suppose.

jeno stayed silent for a moment, recalling if he had done something to make his girlfriend upset. “i–no, at least i don’t think so.” he shook his head, “i’ve just been busy with classes, but i always make time for her. and everything we’re together, i always try to make it special. you know?”

you nodded along to his words, resisting the urge to roll your eyes. you have heard this story countless times, you could probably recite it to him. it wasn’t unusual for karina to act like this; she’d get upset over something vague, and then jeno would beat himself up for it, but he’d still bend over backward to get her back.

“maybe she’s just going through something?” you said, trying to think of what to say to ease his mind.

you and karina were acquaintances at best. it’s not like you didn’t try to be her friend, but something about her attitude seems so off-putting. you weren’t entirely sure if karina was fond of you either. of course, you never told jeno any of these. you knew he wouldn’t listen, not when it comes to her. he loves her. he’d return to her every time, like a moth to a flame. and you’d be there, picking up the pieces when he got burned.

“i wish she’d just tell me what’s on her mind instead of leaving me wondering what i did wrong.” his face twisted into frustration with a mix of confusion.

“jen, you know i can’t help you if you don’t tell her what you’re feeling.” this time, you couldn’t hold back. “you’re supposed to tell her these, not me.”

jeno flinched at your words, somehow unsatisfied with your advice. “yeah… you’re right.”

you watched his expression, his eyebrows furrowed while he was deep in thought. “i’m sorry if it’s not what you wanted to hear.” you hesitated, knowing you were treading dangerous waters. “i just think… you deserve someone who actually appreciates you.”

jeno stayed silent, processing your words as if he hadn’t told himself that a million times. but for some stupid reason, he couldn’t keep it in his head. he looked down at his phone, tapping the screen once more, but to his disappointment, there was still nothing. “i know you’re just looking out for me, y/n. but… i just can’t give up on her. not yet.”

and just like that, you could feel him slipping away, back into her orbit, leaving you alone with all the things you couldn’t say, wondering when he would run back to you again.

“class dismissed.” the professor announced loudly, making you snap out of your dozy state. you weren't even sure if you paid attention to class today.

you quickly gathered your stuff, students leaving the lecture hall one by one. your phone buzzed in your pocket, fishing for it, you read the message from mark.

mark: yo dude heard jaehyun’s throwing a party tomorrow, wanna come? mark: also i think i saw jeno and she-who-must-not-be-named together

struggling to balance your laptop in one hand and type on your phone with the other; you barely noticed a figure stepping in front of you—until they bumped into you, sending you off balance.

“oh my god!” a familiar voice shrieked, karina. you lifted your head to see her arms linked with jeno. her faced mixed with shock and annoyance.

“sorry!” you mumbled, quickly gathering your belongings to be more composed.

“hey, y/n.” jeno smiled at you, your chest tightened at his bright face. after he visited you a week ago, you haven’t heard much from him, aside from his occasional responses in the group chat you share with mark and haechan. all you knew was he was busy trying to get his girlfriend back. you weren’t sure if they made up, given that he hadn’t contacted you at all, but seeing as they were currently inseparable, you could probably guess their relationship right now.

karina patted down her skirt and top as if she were the one who practically fell. “y/n!” as if it was on cue, she flashed you a smile. “haven’t seen you in a hot minute. you going to jaehyun’s tomorrow?” you felt sick to your stomach. something was unsettling about how karina spoke to you, or maybe it was all in your head, and you were thinking too deeply about it.

you hesitated, glancing down at your phone, rereading mark’s message. did you really want to spend an entire night seeing jeno and karina pressed up against each other now that they were back together?

“i might.” you sent her a small smile, “mark and haechan are going, i think i’ll tag along.” glancing at jeno for a second, who was intently staring at you. a pit formed in your stomach at the sight of him, he looked better compared to last week—more relaxed, at ease.

“great!” karina clapped her hands together, “we’ll see you there.” she took Jeno’s hand, pulling him away with a little more force than necessary. he stumbled slightly, laughing as they disappeared down the hall, his voice echoing through the space and leaving a familiar ache in your chest.

you took a deep breath, trying to shake off the interaction, and texted mark back.

you: where are u? need someone to talk to

“are you even surprised at this point?” mark let out, mouth filled with the sandwich he was munching on. you were both seated in the field of the campus, deciding to reconnect with mother nature after the encounter you just had. you told mark about how you saw them together and how jeno looked happy again. you stayed silent at his comment, closing your eyes as you basked in the sunlight. “how’d you feel seeing them together?”

mark knew you too well. he was one of the people you confided in about your feelings for jeno. him and chaewon, your roommate. in the same way, jeno kept running to you when he was heartbroken, you ran to mark and chaewon whenever you were in the same cycle.

just as jeno used you as his safe place, you had mark and chaewon. they were the ones who listened when you cried, over and over, thinking that maybe this time he’d see you differently. and every time, they were the ones who held you every time you fell down.

you were in love with jeno. how could you not be? you grew up together, spending your childhood years nearly every second of the day. you were there to witness every version of him—his awkward phase in middle school with braces and bowl haircut, the high school years when he was navigating through puberty, and now, the college student jeno admired by everyone.

you were there for it all.

you were six when you witnessed jeno’s first tooth falling out. you couldn’t forget the way the blood dripped from his mouth, making you bawl, yet he couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of the tooth on his hand.

you were ten when jeno first learned how to ride a bike. he came knocking on your door to show off his skills, but he fell and scraped his knees within five seconds of riding it.

you were thirteen when jeno came to you when he had his heart was broken. he wrote a letter to his crush admitting his feelings for her, but he came crying to you when he got rejected for the first time in his life.

you were eighteen when you and jeno sat in front of your laptops, awaiting the email of the university you had both applied to. you couldn’t help but wrap your arms around each other and squeal when you found out you both had been accepted.

however, you were sixteen when you first well in love with jeno. it was during prom when you got stood up by your date. jeno saw you sulking in the corner of the room, and without hesitation, he ditched his prom date to be with you for the rest of the night. he brought you to the dance floor and danced with you through every song.

every adult in your life was convinced you two would end up getting married due to your closeness, which he would always deny. each phase, each moment with jeno, made you realize how hard you were falling for him. he was your best friend, the only constant in your life. somewhere along the lines, you realized that friendship wasn’t enough for you.

but for jeno, it was the complete opposite. sure, he loved you, loved having you around, but there was this line between the two of you—one he never dared to cross. he was focused on finding love elsewhere, and it never occurred to him to look for it in the person who was always in front of him. you would be lying to yourself if you said it didn’t pain you that he has never once looked for love in you.

“does it even matter?” you sighed, feeling the sun dance across your skin. “you know he’ll always run back to her.”

“yeah, because you never told him how you felt.” mark scoffed, setting his half-eaten sandwich down while wiping his lips with the back of his hand. “who knows? maybe he feels the same.”

“don’t.” you warned him, sending him a glare while he just sheepishly shrugged his shoulders. it was too painful to entertain the idea, too exhausting to keep hoping.  you were just his best friend, the person he ran to when he needed comfort, but never the person he’d choose. you hated it. you hated waiting around like a lost puppy for him. “can we just talk about something else, please.”

mark hummed, his eyes roaming around the campus. “why don’t you let loose at jaehyun’s party tomorrow? maybe even look for someone to distract you from him.”

you chuckled, hugging your knees to your chest. “if only it were that easy.”

it’s not like you didn’t try to suppress your feelings for jeno. in fact, you did everything you could think of, even going to great lengths such as downloading a dating app—due to haechan’s insistence to attempt casual flings, kissing random strangers at parties, and even having one-night stands with people from campus. yet no matter how hard you tried, your feelings for jeno still crept up like a shadow you couldn’t escape.

there were moments where you thought you were okay and accepted that you don’t always get what you want in life—until a memory of him would hit you out of nowhere, and you’re back to square one. you get reminded of his laughter, the soft eye-smile he would give you whenever he spotted you in a crowd, and his goofy side, which only came out when he was around you. the memories haunted you whenever you least expected it, and no dating app or reckless decision could erase them.

chaewon stood in front of your closet; arms crossed against her chest as she inspected your wardrobe. you were not afraid to dress slutty, in fact, you had a fair share of provocative clothes stashed somewhere in your closet. but the way chaewon was staring at your wardrobe made you rethink all your fashion choices.

“i should really take you out shopping more often.” she mumbled, more to herself than to you. she began rummaging through the hung clothes, trying to find the perfect outfit for tonight. “you’re wasting so much potential.”

you raised an eyebrow, “i think i look fine.” watching as she pulled out different articles of clothing.

“fine isn’t going to get you laid.” chaewon turned to face you, a bunch of different colored tops in her arms. “we need something that screams, ‘fuck you, lee jeno, look what you’re missing out on.’”

you’ve mentioned to her that jeno and karina would be there as a couple again. and she—as the most supportive best friend—made it her personal mission to make you look like the hottest bitch in the party, just to flaunt what jeno had been too blind to see. she wasn’t about to let you shrink in the shadows of jeno and karina’s perfect little bubble. she wanted to make sure that all eyes would be on you.

you sat on the bed, watching her make a mess out of your closet. “i’m not even sure if i’m ready to put myself out there.” you sighed.

chaewon shot you a pointed look, the kind you’d see on your disappointed friend's face. “please. this is why we need to get you into the sluttiest clothes ever. you need to stop thinking of him and start thinking of yourself, y/n.”

chaewon’s words hung heavy in the air. she was right. you needed to stop playing the part of a background character in jeno’s life. it was getting exhausting, and you weren’t sure how long you could keep pretending like it didn’t bother you at all.

“you’re right.” you murmured, fingers playing with another.

her face lit up as she pulled out a black leather mini skirt, paired with a tight red crop top that accentuates your curves perfectly. you forgot you even owned these. “found it!” she squealed, showing you her discovery. “perfect. you look hot in red.” shaking your head at her enthusiasm, you let out a laugh. she chucked you the clothes, taking the sign to go change into them. “babe, if jeno’s dick doesn’t stand up the second he sees you in this, then maybe he is blind!” sending you a wink as you walked into the bathroom.

as you changed into your new outfit, your stomach couldn’t help but flip as you stared into your reflection. chaewon was right, you did look hot in these clothes. you felt silly for putting this much effort into jeno, who would most likely give you a half-assed hug in return.

you shook your head as you tried to push him out of your thoughts. deciding to adjust your top just enough to show off the perfect amount of cleavage. you had to focus on yourself. whether or not jeno would notice you didn’t matter anymore. you were going to have fun.

“dang! look at you.” mark whistled as you walked into the kitchen where he and haechan were situated, with drinks in their hands.

you felt your cheeks heat up under mark’s approving gaze. haechan, on the other hand, was shamelessly checking you out. “was this chaewon’s doing? because, wow, you look amazing.”

their flirting wasn’t something out of the ordinary; you were close friends who knew when to boost each other’s confidence. you couldn’t help but laugh at their comments, eyes wandering around the place. jaehyun’s place was filled with students dancing, chatting, and drinking. lights flashing from the makeshift led lights he probably put up, the crowd bathing in neon lights. the air was thick with sweat, perfume, and cheap alcohol. the music was being managed by johnny, who was the designated dj for tonight.

“looking for someone?” mark teased as he watched you scan the environment, nudging heachan with his elbow, who was smirking.

“no,” you lied, but you knew they could see right through you. “just looking around.” haechan nodded, but his expression showed that you were being dishonest. he handed you a red plastic cup filled with something that smelled fruity but strong. you silently thanked him before drowning the alcohol down your throat. you couldn’t help but wince at the intense flavor.

“you sure? not looking for someone in particular?” mark chuckled, taking a sip from his cup.

before you could come up with a response, you felt a hand on your shoulder. your body froze before turning around to see who it was. of course, it was who you expected—jeno, with his usual eye smile—enough to brighten up the room. karina, who looked as beautiful as ever, was attached to his side with a smile on her face.

your heart sank, but you kept your expression light, flashing the couple a smile while locking eyes with jeno. you nearly missed the way his eyes traveled down your frame, but you weren’t sure if it was because you were intoxicated or you just wanted him to check you out. you swore his eyes lightly widened, but his gaze returned to karina as if nothing happened.

“hey guys.” jeno greeted, eyes wandering between the three of you but landing on you. you shifted beneath his gaze but shook it off; he was your best friend, of course. you gave him and karina a polite nod, although your stomach was churning at the sight of them.

“jeno!” haechan exclaimed, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, making karina lightly lose her balance. her expression grew sour at haechan’s actions. “we missed you, man.” he jokingly puckered his lips to plant a kiss on his cheek, but jeno just laughed and tried to dodge his lips.

“here you go, dude.” mark handed jeno and karina a drink which they accepted and drank. the air suddenly felt tight, your chest pounding, so you looked at mark for help. he sensed your uneasiness, placing his cup down on the counter. “alright! time to dance, y/n, come with me.” mark grabbed your hand, guiding you towards the dance floor, feeling a gaze on you as you left the kitchen.

the music was deafeningly loud, bodies bumping into each other as you navigated the living room. you mumbled an apology to every person you hit, nearly stumbling, but mark’s grip on you saved you. once you finally found a spot, you let loose, moving to the rhythm as the lights flashed overhead. haechan and chaewon shortly found you, forming a crowd as you danced.

from across the room, jeno sat on a couch with karina perched on his side, her legs on top of his lap as her fingers ran across the back of his head.

“this party’s boring.” karina complained, letting out a sigh while taking another sip from her cup.

jeno didn’t respond. he wanted nothing more than to join his friends on the dance floor, but he knew it wasn’t karina’s crowd, so he decided to stay with her to avoid getting her upset. “you’ve been awfully quiet. did i do something?”

jeno shook his head, eyes landing on hers. “no,” he grasped her hand in his. “don’t you want to dance?”

“you know i’m not into this kind of scene, jeno. why’d we even come here?” karina scoffed, pulling her legs off his lap and crossing her arms. jeno pursed his lips, the tension between them rising.

“you said you wanted to see what the fuss was about, babe.” jeno sighed, running a hand through his hair. “i thought we could have fun together with my friends for once.”

“what’s that supposed to mean!” karina snapped, but jeno was listening to someone else in particular; a burst of laughter from the dance floor caught his attention. his eyes instinctively found you, spinning with mark and chaewon, a carefree smile on your face. he nearly sulked as he watched his friends have fun while he was sitting in a corner.

karina’s eyes followed to where jeno was staring at, her expressions souring even more once he realized jeno wasn’t even listening to her. “of course,” her voice cut through his trance. “you’re not even paying attention to me.”

chaewon caught what was stirring from the corner of her eyes, nudging you. “uh oh, trouble in paradise again.”

you sneaked a glance at where they were sitting; it was easy to spot jeno in a crowd. his back was hunched, karina’s eyebrows furrowed while speaking to him. you almost felt sorry for him.

jeno’s gaze met yours, you quickly looked away to pretend you were not snooping on them, but you knew he saw you staring anyway. you shook off your thoughts, trying to focus on having fun with your friends. you hated the effect he had on you. you hated how easily he got under your skin, how his presence could unravel the fragile composure you worked so hard to maintain.

meanwhile, karina had grown tired of jeno’s distracted demeanor. she stood up abruptly, clutching her purse in her hands. “i’m leaving.” she told jeno, annoyance evident in her tone.

“babe, wait—” jeno stood up, catching her arm, but she shrugged him off.

“stay if you want. don’t bother following me. i’ll text you whenever.” she snapped before storming out of the room.

jeno stood there, watching her back, slowly immersing herself in the crowd. for some reason, he couldn’t move; he didn’t want to move. the guilt of letting her storm off alone clashed with the relief of not encountering a full-on argument. he knows his actions will probably lead to a massive fight with her again, but he was just too tired to deal with it tonight. his eyes trailed back to where you were dancing, but you were no longer there; only mark and haechan remained.

you couldn’t handle another second of witnessing jeno and karina together. you decided to escape the crowd and find an empty room to gather your thoughts. thankful that jaehyun’s house was large enough to have an unoccupied room. the noise from the party was muffled the second you shut the door behind you.

you sat on the edge of the bed, sighing as you ran your hand through your hair. get it together. you scolded yourself before plopping back on the soft mattress. tonight was supposed to be about letting loose, but the sight of jeno with her was too unbearable. the room became unbreathable as thoughts clouded your mind. you often wondered why jeno couldn’t just look at what was in front of him. the way he made you feel like a teenager pining over her crush made you laugh.

soft knocks on the door snapped you back to life. curious, you stood up and hovered over the doorknob.

“y/n?” the voice from the other side of the door called out, making your breath hitch. “are you in there?”

jeno. why was he here? how did you know you were here? you hesitated before grabbing the doorknob and turning it to open the door. there he was—clad in a black shirt with some jeans, yet he still looked like he was crafted by the gods.

“jeno? what are you doing here?” you resisted the urge to ask him why he wasn’t with his girlfriend, but from the looks of the events earlier, they probably quarreled again.

jeno didn’t respond, instead, he moved past you and into the room you were occupying. you shut the door behind you, not bothering to lock it because you saw no need to. he sat on the edge of the bed, where you had previously sat.

you were lost. you don’t know how you should act right now, and jeno seemed so defeated.

“you’ve been avoiding me all night.” jeno spoke, his eyes trained on you. you were leaning against the door, a wide distance between the two of you.

you nearly laughed at the absurdity of his statement. “i wasn’t avoiding you, jen. you were just busy with karina the entire night.” it was true, you had no intentions of ignoring him. in fact, a part of you wanted to see him, to see you. even though you convinced yourself that tonight was about you, it wouldn’t hurt if he saw the effort you put on today.

he took a second to scan your frame, his lips tugging into a small smile when he reached your face. “you look nice.” your heart leaped at his compliment. throat going dry as you thought of words to say to him.

“you’re not so bad yourself.” you chuckled. the air felt thick, you weren’t sure if it was only on your end. you couldn’t help but let your eyes roam his body as well. you knew jeno was fit—he was always diligent about his attendance at the gym—and it surely didn’t help your thoughts that you had a massive crush on him. he looked great, so hot. it made it hard to think straight.

jeno’s eyes didn’t leave yours, his gaze was so intense that it made you want to cower and run away. you cleared your throat. “why are you here, jeno?” you asked, breaking the silence. even though you already anticipated the answer.

“we fought.” you knew it. “i just… i needed to get away for a bit.” of course, why else would he seek for you?

your heart banged against your chest. you wanted to comfort him, to be his solace as you had always been, playing the part of his best friend. but at the same time, you hated being his safe space, you hated how he ran to you only when things got messy with her. it was not fair.

“does she know you’re here?” you asked cautiously, watching as his face twisted into worry.

“she left.” jeno shook his head, leaning back against the mattress with his hands bracing him. you hated how casual he was being. “said i could stay here if i wanted.” his voice laced with frustration, eyes falling to the floor.

you nodded slowly, biting the inside of your cheek to prevent yourself from uttering words that you’d soon regret. as a best friend, you were supposed to tell him to go after her, to patch things up with her like he always does. but tonight, you wanted to be selfish. you wanted him to stay.

“and you came here?” the words left your mouth, and you regretted it immediately.

jeno lifted his head, eyes meeting yours once again. “yeah.” he said, standing up from his spot, taking careful strides towards you. your eyes widened when he approached you. “i came here.” he stopped in front of you, making you take a step backward, but your back just hit the wall, preventing you from moving any further. his frame towering over yours.

there were warning bells ringing in your ears as jeno’s eyes flicked down to your lips. it was subtle, but it was enough to send your thoughts spiraling. your mind was screaming at you to move, to say something, to do anything—but all your heart could focus on was him.

what was he doing?

he was getting dangerously close to you. his perfume hitting your nose, the familiar scent taking over you. the silence in the room was loud, his hand landing on the space next to your head, resting on the wooden door.

“jeno…” your voice came out soft, almost whisper-like, pleading him. although you weren’t entirely sure if you were pleading for him to stop or continue. your pulse racing as he leaned even closer, the gap between you shrinking. the invisible barrier you’d tried so hard to build came crashing down as his intoxicating scent painted the room with tension that grew impossibly thick.

jeno paused to stare into your eyes, looking for signs of doubt in them. his movements were cautious, as though he was giving you time to stop him—but your body betrayed you as you stood frozen in place.

this wasn’t—shouldn’t— supposed to happen. this wasn’t you. you weren’t supposed to have him this close to you—not when he wasn’t yours to begin him.

but the way he looked at you now, like you were his favorite dessert that his mother told him he couldn’t have at a grocery store, made it so hard to pull away.

“i—we can’t.” you croaked out, your voice betraying you.

“tell me to stop.” jeno mumbled, his lips barely grazing yours.

stop.

stop!

you couldn’t stop.

jeno crashed his lips to yours. his taste greeting your tongue, the flavor of alcohol mixed with something uniquely him. you gasped into the kiss, eyes shutting as your hands instinctively flew to his chest while his mouth moved against yours. he didn’t miss the opportunity to slide his tongue between your parted lips, roaming it around. you felt your knees weaken.

jeno was kissing you. and you were kissing him back. the moment you had dreamed of and longed for was becoming a reality. it was real—vivid, and more overwhelming than anything you could imagine.

his hands fell to your waist, pulling your body flush against his. your hands gripped his shirt, tugging him close to you. the heat of his body pressed against yours, sending shivers down your spine. the feeling of him getting hard against your thigh snapped you back to your senses. your eyes fluttered open with a surge of panic before pushing his body away. what have you done?

“what the fuck.” you whispered, hand reaching up to touch your lips that were on his mere seconds ago as if you couldn’t believe the affair that just occurred.

“y/n—“ jeno started, arms reaching out for you. but you pulled away from him. “hey, it’s okay.” he assured you. his expression turning soft as he watched your panicked state. “i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have—”

the kiss was replaying in your head, the vivid moment playing repeatedly to remind you it was immoral. but deep inside, you were floating on the clouds. jeno kissed you. you weren’t sure if you were sorry to begin with.

“i-i need to go.” you mumbled, turning around and grabbing the doorknob. jeno took a step back to give you some space.

“let me explain.” jeno called out, but you were already scrambling towards the door, needing to create distance between the two of you, leaving him and your chaos of emotions behind.

“i’m so excited!” chaewon squealed as she held onto your hand, practically dragging you towards the bus.

it was the annual retreat the student council had organized to help students destress and bond outside of academic pressure. this year, the arts and business departments were grouped to blend creativity and strategy. since you and chaewon were both visual design students, you agreed to be seatmates on the bus. mark and haechan were also coming along because they were music and dance majors, respectively. while it sounded like an excellent opportunity to unwind, you knew it also meant that jeno and karina would be there since they were a part of the department as business and fashion majors.

you haven’t spoken to jeno since your last encounter. you weren’t sure you had the right words to say to him. no one knew of what happened that night, and the guilt was clawing you alive. you contemplated whether to tell chaewon about it. you knew she was going to be by your side, but admitting that you kissed jeno while he was in a relationship with karina was something you didn’t want to say out loud. admitting it would make it real. and making it real meant facing the truth: you kissed someone else’s boyfriend. even if he started it.

the mere thought made you shiver. although jeno was equally responsible for the kiss that he initiated, you wondered if he told anyone about it, if he regretted it, or if he thinks about it as often as you did.

you would be lying to yourself if you said that you had already forgotten about the kiss. the memory of kissing someone you were in love with was not easy to bury. the feeling of his lips on yours haunted you on nights you couldn’t sleep, your heart racing at the faint thought of it.

you found yourself seated in the middle section of the bus. chaewon begged for the window seat, striking a deal to share her stash of snacks in exchange. students gradually filled the bus, mark and haechan seated on the aisle across from you, their banter already filling the air. it wasn’t long before jeno and karina boarded the bus, karina leading jeno with her hand in his. for a brief second, you locked eyes with jeno, whose face was filled with sorrow when he looked at you. you loathed it.

you quickly broke eye contact, but you swore his gaze lingered on you a bit longer. you faced chaewon, who was telling you about her latest boy drama. she noticed that your expression had shifted; she turned her head to see where you were just looking, and her suspicions were confirmed when she saw the couple.

“are you and jeno alright?” chaewon whispered, leaning towards you. “don’t think i saw you guys together since the party.” you stiffened. she was right.

chaewon was observant. she knew you too well. she noticed the small things, like how you look for jeno in crowds or how your mood shifts downward when you spot him with karina. it had been two torturous weeks since the party, since you had a secret you couldn’t muster up the courage to tell anyone. two weeks of trying to convince yourself that it didn’t mean anything—when deep down, you knew it meant everything.

and two weeks' worth of unread messages from jeno.

you thought back to the notifications you had stared at countless times, your heart clenching every time his name lit up your screen.

jeno: hey jeno: how are u? jeno: we should really talk jeno: let me know when ure free jeno: i miss u y/n jeno: pls dont ignore me

you had read them all. your fingers hovered over the keyboard countless times, thinking about what to say to him. what were you supposed to say? that you were in love with him? that the kiss meant everything to you while it was probably a drunken mistake for him? that you were drowning in guilt but couldn't help but think about the kiss? you decided that saying nothing would be better, giving you time to gather your thoughts.

but no matter how you tried, jeno was everywhere. in the halls, in your dreams, and now, on this godforsaken bus.

“yeah.” you smiled at chaewon, pulling on her arm so you could nest your head against her shoulder. “i’m just sleepy.”

“my ass hurts.” haechan whined dramatically as you got off the bus. mark chuckled at him while he extended his arms. the ride took three hours and you were all sore from sitting down, eager to stretch your legs. but the view was worth the pain.

the beach house that the council rented was massive. its modern design stands out against the blue ocean and white sand. large glass windows reflected the sun rays, and the sprawling deck held enough space for barbecues and hangouts. off to the side were lounge chairs arranged neatly with umbrellas softening the harsh sunlight. the waves crashing softly against the shore added a soothing background hum, instantly washing away some of your earlier tension.

“alright, everyone!” one of the council—who you recognized was soobin—announced, making heads turn to face him. “we’ll be assigning rooms in fifteen minutes. grab your stuff, and let’s meet in the living room.”

moments later, the group navigated to the now cramped space. you were sure there were at least twenty students in your house, and you wondered if it was enough to fit all of you. the rest are probably in the beach houses next door. the living room buzzed with activity. some familiar faces are scattered around the area; you gave them a polite nod when you met their eyes, thankful that they returned the gesture. you settled for the vacant space on the couch, with chaewon trailing behind you.

“settle down, guys.” soobin cleared his throat. the noise in the room died down, with jisung and chenle the last ones to squeeze into the room. soobin lifted his phone, assuming to read off the names and room assignments. “some already requested to be paired before this trip, so let me tell you which rooms you’ll be in.”

“chaewon and y/n.” soobin called out, head whipping to look for us, nodding once he spotted us. “you’ll be in room 3.”

chaewon let out a tiny clap with her hands, smiling at you brightly, to which you returned the energy. soobin continued announcing the names of the students who would be roomed together. mark and haechan are paired in the room across the hall from yours.

“i know some of you requested to be with your partners, but the school board requires us to separate male and female students.” soobin started, groans echoing throughout the room. “i know, i know. but this will just be for formalities. what you do after lights out is none of our business.” his comment drew waves of laughter and grins.

“jeno and renjun.” he continued, looking around the room. “room 6.”

the sound of his name made your stomach drop, nearly forgot that he was in the same room as you. you tried to keep your expression neutral as your eyes shifted to him, who was leaning against the wall with karina on his side.

“find your rooms and settle in. dinner’s at six. feel free to explore the area until then.” soobin finally finished disclosing information, and everyone hurried off to find their respective rooms.

chaewon led the way to your room, with you trailing behind her, struggling to navigate the vast house with your bags. the weight of your stuff was slowing you down, and you silently cursed yourself for your overpacking tendencies. startled, a pair of hands who obviously saw you struggle helped you carry them. you lifted your head to say thank you, but the words got stuck in your throat when you locked eyes with your rescuer, jeno.

“i could’ve carried them.” you mumbled, watching as he effortlessly carried your bag with one arm, and—you're assuming—his and karina’s bag in another. speaking of, where was she?

“just accept the help.” jeno replied, his tone simple. a wave of emotions washing over you—guilt, confusion, and something you did not want to name. this was the first time you’d talked to him since the incident. “lead the way.” pursing your lips, you ascended the stairs, feeling him trace your steps but not utter a word.

shortly, you found chaewon standing in front of a bedroom door, which you’re guessing is your room. her eyes widened when she saw who was behind you, but you’re thankful she didn’t mention anything.

“i can take it from here.” you told jeno, who nodded. he handed you your bag, his fingers grazing your skin as you retrieved it from his grasp. you don’t know if you were going crazy, but you swore sparks shot out of your entire body from the mere touch of his skin.

get a hold of yourself.

you thought to yourself. you have experienced jeno’s touch before, but why were you acting like a teenage girl who got to hold her crush’s hand for the first time?

you muttered a thank you to jeno before following chaewon, who had already entered the room. but before you could cross the doorway, you felt a hand on your arm. your heart speeded up at the contact. head turning to face him, he opened his mouth to talk, but no words came out.

“can we talk?” jeno asked, his eyebrows twisting in concern. “please?”

“later.” you affirmed, sending him a weak smile. “come over later.”

his lips tugged upward into a tight smile before nodding and walking away to enter his room, which you saw was just a few doors away from yours.

you shut the door behind you once you entered the room, sighing against it. chaewon watched you with worried eyes, and it took everything in you not to admit to her and cry in her arms. still, the weight of her stare told you that she knew something was wrong.

“had a small fight with jeno.” lie. “don’t worry, i’m used to fighting with his ass.” you dryly laughed. you knew she didn’t buy it but decided to let it go, not wanting to pry when you’re obviously not in the mood to talk about it.

you took this time to scan the room. two single beds in the middle of the room with a bedside table separating them. light blue wallpaper covering the wall, the sunlight peeking through the glass windows. and the view showcased the ocean’s beauty, which made you smile. maybe this retreat wouldn’t be so bad after all?

“you look hot!” chaewon complimented as you slipped into denim shorts. you were wearing a light pink two-piece bikini that was enough to prevent public indecency.

haechan texted you, saying that he, mark, and a few other people were hanging by the beach, and of course, you didn’t want to pass up the opportunity to feel the ocean breeze on your skin. you immediately pulled out the bikini you packed for this trip.

“look who's talking!” you giggled, pointing to her black bikini that perfectly hugged her body. “who will be the lucky guy tonight?” you wiggled your eyebrows teasingly, which she just laughed at.

“whoever it will be, i just hope he’s good in bed.” chaewon fake sighed, making you jokingly pat her arm.

the sun was about to set. some students were already grilling dinner to serve to everyone, and some were mingling by the pool. you could not wait to spend time with your friends to take your mind off him.

the two of you left your room and walked down the hall towards the beach. the faint sound of familiar voices filling the air as your toes reached the sand. you spotted mark, whose back was facing you, seated on a camp chair circling a fire. the cool breeze brushing against your skin as you neared them.

“there you guys are!” haechan exclaimed once he spotted you. he patted the empty chair for you to sit next to him, which you did. chaewon sat on the empty one next to yunjin, who was also in your year. you said your greetings to everyone around the fire, thankful that you were familiar with all of them.

the scent of the ocean filled your nose. the sounds of seagulls flying echoed the air. the warmth of the fire dancing on your skin. it felt soothing not to have to think about the stress of academics. however, your solace was cut short when a familiar couple took the spot directly in front of you.

“why don’t we play a game!” jisung, seated beside haechan, suggested, voice cutting through the conversation.

“what are we? twelve?” chenle scoffed, leaning against his chair while taking a sip out of his cup.

jisung smirked, punching him lightly. “come on, live a little, you prude.”

“bet you’re going to suggest tru-“

“truth or dare!” jisung suggested, eyes lighting up mischievously, earning a chorus of groans from the crowd, which you chuckled at.

“i think it’ll be fun!” chaewon chimed in, voice raising as she clapped her hands.

jisung scanned the area, “alright, let’s see!” a finger tapping his chin as he picked his first target. “jeno, truth or dare?” all eyes landed on him, including yours, watching as he contemplated what to choose.

jeno chuckled, running a hand through his hair. “truth.” 

“boring.” jisung groaned but conjured up a question anyway. “who is the prettiest woman in this circle? and it doesn’t have to be your girlfriend!”

“jisung, you’re being weird.” renjun interjected, shaking his head in disapproval.

“what! it’s called truth or dare for a reason.” jisung defended, putting his hands up in defense.

jeno stayed silent for a second before he lifted his head. you swore his eyes lingered on you for too long before uttering his answer. “karina, of course.”

“boo!” jisung chanted, but some were in awe of his loyalty to his girlfriend. karina, who was next to him, jokingly rolled her eyes before kissing jeno on the cheek. you stayed silent, chewing on your bottom lip, trying to avert your gaze from the affectionate display.

“eric!” jisung called out. heads turned to him, who was seated beside you. you followed their gaze to see the handsome male.

“dare.” eric smirked, leaning forward in confidence.

“finally, someone who’s not a pussy.” jisung grinned mischievously, rubbing his hands together. “i dare you to kiss the prettiest woman in this circle.”

“dude, what is your obsession with pretty girls.” you heard mark whisper.

the circle broke into fits of laughter, but what happened next came as a shock to you. eric turned to face you, your eyes widening once you realized what he was asking. the laughter died down as everyone’s attention shifted towards the two of you. his eyes met yours, and your heart began pounding as the realization hit.

“what—” you started, but the words barely left your mouth before eric leaned in. his lips inches away from you, staring into you as if he was silently asking for permission. you froze, not retracting your face away. you gave him a tiny nod of confirmation. he placed a soft kiss on your lips, lingering just a second too long for it to feel innocent.

the group erupted into a mix of cheers, gasps, and whistles.

“my guy didn’t even hesitate!” mark exclaimed, patting eric on the arm. you pulled away from eric, cheeks heating up from the amount of people witnessing the dared kiss.

you didn’t want to, but you couldn’t help but sneak a glance at jeno. his expression was curious, his previous relaxed demeanor replaced by something you couldn’t understand, making you wonder if it was because of you.

eric leaned back into his seat, a cheeky grin on his lips. “sorry if it was too forward.”

you let out a small laugh, brushing it off. “it’s fine.” tucking a strand of hair behind your ears.

“moving on!” jisung announced, “renjun, truth or dare?”

jisung’s words faded away as your attention averted to something—someone—else. from the corner of your eye, jeno’s gaze was flickering between you and eric, his jaw clenching as he gripped the red plastic cup in his hand.

haechan leaned to you, mouth near your ear. “think that’s because of you?” he whispered as if he read your mind. he was always the one to tease you about your feelings for jeno.

“don’t be absurd.” you glared at him, pushing him away, but he only laughed. but deep inside, your thoughts were all over the place, with jeno’s reaction lingering in the back of your head, making things feel infinitely more complicated.

a knock on your door pulled you out of your trance. you decided to head back to your room, leaving the group behind to catch up on some well-deserved sleep. you were feeling overwhelmed with the social interaction you had to go through today, quietly slipping yourself away from haechan’s coercion of trying to make you stay longer. not to mention it seems like jeno and karina were getting heated up from the amount of affection they were displaying. you did not want to stick around when things escalated.

curious, you stood from the bed and gripped the doorknob before turning it and opening the door.

“hey.” jeno greeted, a sheepish smile on his face.

the wind was knocked out of you. you forgot you asked him to come over, seeing him in front of you made you nervous.

“jeno.” you breathed, .

“can i come in?” red exclamation marks were clouding your vision, but you shook them off, pulling the door wider so he could pass through.

jeno stayed silent as he entered your room, eyes wandering around the place for a second before facing you. you were almost certain you felt deja vu by your current positions.

“i wish you would stop avoiding me.” jeno started, “i know what i did was uncalled for, but i—it was—“

“did you tell her?” you interrupted, voice sounding sharper than you intended.

“i—no.”

“jeno.” you glared at him.

“i know! i feel so fucking guilty about it, too, okay? but i—“ jeno took a step forward to you. “have a lot in my head.”

“imagine how i feel!” you shot back, voice jumping an octave. “i made out with someone else’s boyfriend.” you whispered the last part as the weight of your words sank in.

“fuck, y/n. it’s not easy for me either.” his eyes were trained on you with an expression plastered on his face that you couldn’t quite understand.

“what are you saying?” frustration lacing your voice.

jeno thought for a second, letting the silence fill the air as he racked his mind of what to say. “do you like eric?”

“what? no!” you replied instantly to his ridiculous question. why does he even care if you had feelings for eric?

“does he kiss better than me?”

“are you insane?” you spat. “are you literally joking about this right now?”

“i’m not joking.” jeno inched closer to you. your heart racing once his scent reached your nose, his warmth radiating off his body. “does he?”

thoughts clouded your mind. why would he even care if eric was a good kisser? he had karina. a girlfriend who he had been with for years. “i’m not answering that.” you shook your head, crossing your arms across your chest in an attempt to build a wall between the two of you.

“i want to kiss you again.”

“what?” your knees grew weak at his confession. staring at him as if he had three heads. was he hearing himself right now?

“can i?” jeno grabbed your arms, making them uncross from your previous stance. so much for building a wall. “kiss you…” he dropped his grip from your arms, caressing your cheek with his hand. “again?” his thumb sliding down just enough to reach your lips.

“jeno…” you begged, almost sounding like a whimper.

“just… one more time, please?” he pleaded, gaze dropping to your lips. you didn’t miss the way he licked his lips before flickering his eyes back to meet yours.

“this is wrong.” you whispered, voice unsteady. your words contradict your actions.

“i know.” his breath fanned your face. “but i can’t stop thinking about our kiss.” his lips dangerously close to yours. the weight of his confession sending you into a spiral. “tell me to leave.”

you stayed silent. the words hung in the air, heavy with anticipation. the internal battle inside you faltered as you slowly caved in. you slightly shook your head no, and that was all he needed.

jeno kissed you like he had been waiting his whole life for it. you reciprocated his energy, arms flying around his neck to tug him closer to you. his arms wrapping around your waist to pull your body against him. you whimpered against his lips when you felt his cock hardening, just by your mere.

“fuck.” jeno whispered, hands cupping your face as he pulled away from your lips. “i need you so bad.” desperation lacing his voice.

“w-what?” you froze, not expecting things to escalate so quickly. “jeno, kari-”

“she’s mad at me.” oh. “told me not to bother looking for her tonight.” his expression turned sour from mentioning her girlfriend. odd.

your heart raced. is that why he was here? to look for release?

as if he read your mind, he was quick to respond. “you’re not a placeholder for her, y/n.” this was the first lie jeno told you. “i’m here for you.” he reassured.

jeno leaned in and kissed you again, the kiss soft and filled with need. your mind is still on the fence about the entire situation, but by the simple “please?” he uttered, your walls came crashing down. it felt like you two were the only people on earth.

one thing led to another; you found yourself laying on the mattress with jeno in between your legs. his lips on yours as he kissed you hungrily, his hands playing with the hem of your shirt. he pulled away from you, looking at you for confirmation before you nodded. he slipped the shirt off your frame, eyes roaming your bra-clad body the second you were exposed.

feeling vulnerable beneath his gaze, you moved to cover yourself, but his grip on your arms prevented you from doing so.

“don’t.” he muttered, leaning down to place a kiss on your chest. “beautiful.” his hand snaked behind your back, his fingers grazing the clasp of your bra. “can i?”

you nodded, and in a swift motion, the clothing fell down your chest. your heart speeding up as his fingers trailed from your back to just below your breast. he looked into your eyes for any signs of doubt, but you didn’t provide any. you needed him badly.

you reached for his shirt, tugging it as a sign. he noticed the signal and pulled away from you, lifting his shirt off his body. your eyes shamelessly traveling down his toned chest, feeling a wave of heat forming between your legs. damn his addiction to working out.

“you can touch me, you know.” jeno chuckled once he saw your mouth slightly part at the sight. you took his words as a sign to caress his chest, down to his abs and just above his abdomen, making him groan. “didn’t know you’d be such a tease.”

“shut up.” you mumbled, hands playing with the buttons of his jeans. “i’m taking my time.” you admired his body; after all, you had only been dreaming of this moment.

“oh?” jeno teased, grabbing you by the thighs and pulling you down so your core was close to his crotch, making you gasp. “well, i need you now.” he whispered before attaching his lips to yours, hand reaching up to your breast to knead the skin, making you moan against his mouth. his free hand reached in between your bodies to cup your core, the wetness seeping through as he gently rubbed up and down.

his cock growing against your core, feeling your body heat rise at the sensation. his fingers hooked the waistband of your shorts before sliding them down your legs, leaving you completely exposed.

in an abrupt motion, jeno took off his pants and boxers. his cock springing against his abdomen, the head red and precum spilling from the tip. you licked your lips before reaching to pump his cock. he was so big and thick, better than you could ever imagine.

“fuck.” jeno grunted against your touch, hips bucking to meet your hands. “i-i don’t have any condoms.”

“just pull out, i trust you.” you bit your lip. “and i’m on the pill if that helps.”

“why didn’t you start with that?” jeno replaced your hand with his. aligning his length with your entrance. spreading your wetness with the head of his cock.

you whimpered at the sensation before he slowly pushed into you. muted gasps leaving your lips,  mouth falling agape as you grew accustomed to his size.

“shit—“ jeno’s hands fell to your hips, gripping on the skin. “you’re so tight.” he said, fully burying himself into you. your insides were burning from the lack of foreplay, but you didn’t care; you wanted him—needed him—before he slipped out of your grasp again. tears pricked your eyes as he adjusted himself. he stayed still, waiting for any confirmation from you. “i know, i know.” he muttered, pressing a kiss on your forehead once he saw your pained expression. “it’ll feel better, i promise.”

a few moments later, you tapped his thigh as a signal. he carefully moved his hips, slowly thrusting out before fully pushing in again. once you got used to his movements, moans spilled from your lips. he took this as a sign to increase his speed.

“god—“ you cried out, hands gripping the sheets beneath you. “jeno!”

his hands reached for your breasts, massaging them while simultaneously playing with your nipples. your back arched against the mattress when his fingers circled the sensitive buds.

your hips bucked up in an attempt to meet his thrusts, making him pick up the pace even more. “so good for me.” he praised, making your head dizzy. his lips find your neck, sucking and licking on the skin.

lewd sounds escaping your lips from his actions. your hand flew to grip his hair, tugging it lightly, making him grunt. the familiar knot forming in your stomach as he picked up his pace. your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist, the new position allowing him to bury his cock even deeper.

you cursed out his name as his tip perfectly hit the spot that drove you insane. “f-fuck.” you managed to let out. hands falling to his shoulder, fingernails slightly digging into his skin.

sweat trickled down jeno’s forehead as he pulled away from your neck. his eyes trained on you—his best friend—as you took his cock.

“are you gonna be a good girl and cum for me?” jeno grunted, watching your breasts bounce from his every thrust. he licked his lips at the sight.

you nodded, biting on your lip. “god—yes!”

jeno slipped his hand in between your bodies, fingers finding your clit. he circled the sensitive nerve, adding even more pleasure, making you near your orgasm even more.

“come on, baby.” jeno whispered, lips capturing yours. “cum for me.”

you clenched around him. your release begging to be freed, with a few more thrusts from him. you came crashing down on his cock. moaning loudly as you chased your high. you were thankful that almost everyone was busy getting drunk on the beach.

“oh my fucking god.” jeno groaned, watching as you squirmed beneath him. your back arching, giving him a perfect view of your tits. and soon enough, his orgasm hit him; he quickly pulled out, spilling his cum all over your stomach.

you lay there breathless, chest heaving as you recovered from your high. jeno pulled his body away from you, walking into the connected bathroom before coming back with a roll of tissue. he peeled a fair amount before rushing to wipe his cum all over you.

you giggled when his hands reached your sides, feeling ticklish. you watched him clean you up, and suddenly, reality came crashing in.

you just fucked someone else’s boyfriend. the air suddenly felt tight as jeno trashed the dirty tissues. he reached for his pants, slipped them on before reaching for your clothes, and placed them near you.

“oh my god.” you whispered as your realization kicked in. your hands reaching for the covers to hide away from him somehow.

“what’s wrong?” jeno asked, brows furrowed as he watched you try to scramble away from him.

“jeno, we just fucked.” you reminded him, reaching for your shirt to cover yourself up.

“we’ve literally known each other for years, y/n. i don’t think now’s the time for you to be shy.” he chuckled, slipping his shirt on.

“that’s not—jeno, what about karina?”

jeno froze, expression twisting into worry at the mention of his girlfriend’s name, but he quickly shook it off, masking his unease. “don’t worry, i’ll take care of it.” he mumbled, avoiding eye contact with you. his words felt empty, a hollow reassurance that only deepened the pit in your stomach. you weren’t exactly sure what he was promising—what was he going to take care of? “i can’t stay here tonight.” he moved closer to the doom “i’ll see you soon?” his hand lingered on the doorway, finally fixing his gaze on you.

then it hit you like you were punched in the gut, and it all made sense now. you weren’t sure if jeno was here to patch things up with you or dig a hole even deeper, but given your past activity, you could only guess he made the decision for the latter. jeno was just here for a quick release. and who better to turn to rather than his best friend—the one he knew would always bend over backward for him?

you sat there, unable to move. you were equally to blame. you had let this happen. you let yourself fall down his trap, even though warning signs blared in your mind. you let yourself believe that he was capable of having feelings for you beyond friendship.

“right,” you nodded curtly, voice barely audible. “see you.”

jeno hesitated for a second, “don’t be a stranger, okay?” he said before slipping out the door. the soft click of its closing was deafening, and the silence that followed felt suffocating.

your gaze stilled on the door. his presence still lingering at the back of your head. he said he couldn’t stay, but you wondered if he wanted to. or were you just a convenient distraction, someone to make him feel grounded while he sorted his mess with karina?

tears welled in your eyes, but you quickly wiped them away. chaewon could be coming in any second—quite grateful that she didn’t when jeno was balls deep in you—and you refused to show any vulnerability, not when it comes to him. not this time, you couldn’t keep doing this—not to him, or karina, and definitely not to yourself.

your little secret was eating you alive.

here you sat, curled up on the couch in the living room of your shared apartment with chaewon. it was one of those rare nights when you and your friends—chaewon, mark, haechan, and jeno (when he wasn’t busy quarreling with karina)—could indulge in your movie night tradition.

the aroma of buttered popcorn filled the air, and a pile of blankets and pillows was scattered around the room. you were seated on the loveseat couch with chaewon beside you, her legs resting on your lap. mark and haechan were below you, sitting on the air mattress you had put out specifically for this night. and jeno splayed himself on the comfortable armchair. the tv illuminated the room as the opening credits of a classic rom-com played, but you were barely paying attention. how could you? your mind was floating, caught in a web of guilt.

after the encounter you had with jeno, you were convinced he was going to do the right thing—either end things with karina or at least come clean about what happened. but alas, you heard that he somehow made up with her, leaving you wondering and confused.

you felt used. it wasn’t that you expected he would ditch karina and be with you; you weren’t that naive. you simply hoped it would be the start of shifting your relationship—if you could even call it that—with jeno. but instead, he was still hesitant about crossing the line from friends.

jeno was within your peripheral vision, laughing at the comment mark had said about the movie. the sound of his voice made your stomach feel uneasy. he seemed so unbothered, so perfect and fine, yet you felt like you were drowning from the weight of what the two of you shared. it felt unfair.

you couldn’t bring yourself to tell anyone, not chaewon, not mark. you were carrying the burden alone. but jeno’s every glance at you made your body feel like it was under a spotlight.

it didn’t help that you hadn’t spoken to jeno about it. granted, you were both busy with university and this was the first time you’d been in the same room as him since the trip. talking through the phone just doesn’t seem enough for the weight of your conversation.

“why are you so quiet tonight?” chaewon asked, munching on popcorn. “you okay?”

“of course!” you shot her a smile, reaching for the bowl she had with her and popping some popcorn in your mouth. “just really wanted to watch this movie.” you lied, hoping she wouldn’t see right through you. she believed you, dropping the subject.

if only you could bury the truth as easily as you buried your feelings.

from the corner of your eye, you knew that jeno tuned in to the brief conversation, his expression dropping from the tone of your voice.

the movie continued. the comedic skits drew laughter from mark and haechan. chaewon lets out squeals whenever the main lead does something romantic. despite the bubbly atmosphere, you couldn’t fully immerse yourself in the group. you sneaked another glance towards jeno, whose gaze was directed to his phone.

his screen lit up, indicating a notification, and his fingers hovered over the keyboard. the soft glow gave you enough light to see his jaw tense slightly. you didn’t even have to think for a second that the text had come from karina. you felt foolish for somehow believing him when he said he would take care of it. 

jeno stood up abruptly, drawing everyone’s attention. “i—uh have to go.” he announced, pocketing his phone and reaching for his jacket.

“what? i thought we were having a sleepover!” haechan whined, tossing a piece of popcorn in his direction.

“yeah, dude, the movie was just about to get interesting.” mark chimed in, his eyes darting to the screen, making sure not to miss a scene.

jeno could only muster a chuckle. “sorry, something came up. it’s, uh, family stuff.” he lied through his teeth. his eyes avoided yours no matter how intent you were staring at him, which alone was enough to confirm your suspicion.

why did he lie about seeing karina?

“everything okay?” chaewon asked, concern dripping from her tone.

“oh yeah, nothing serious. they just need my help with something.” jeno assured, enough to not worry anyone.

you stayed silent, watching as he lied about his whereabouts. you merely nodded at his words, not having the right words to say. they all bid their goodbyes, and you managed to utter a tiny “bye” to his departure. you swore he turned back one last time before leaving, not to look at the group but to look at you. the look on his face was unreadable, and you hated how you couldn’t see right through him.

once jeno left, everyone returned their attention to the movie. your chest felt much lighter by his absence, but once you thought about where or who he was going to, you felt a commotion stir inside you.

“how’s it going with you and jeno?” mark casually asked, making you panic. worried that you might have let something slip.

“what do you mean?”

“figured out how to get over that crush of yours?” oh. chaewon and haechan’s ears perked up, looking at you for confirmation.

“i’m trying.” you kept your answer curt, shrinking into the cushions, trying to avoid the discussion.

“you know, i have this friend, and i think he’d be perfect for you.” mark started, head turning to face you, a mischievous smirk plastered on his lips. “good looking, smart, studying for his medical degree, loves cats.” he listed, trying to make his friend sound as attractive as possible.

“what? are you trying to set me up on a blind date?” you raised your brow at him, which he only sheepishly smiled at.

“well, technically, it’s not blind, i have a feeling you’ve seen him around.”

“please! this is exactly what you need.” chaewon chimed in, nudging your body.

“i don’t know…” you trailed off hesitantly.

“why not?” haechan jumped in. “it’s not like you have anything to lose, right? and besides, it’ll be fun.”

“and it will be a good distraction from you-know-who.” chaewon chipped in.

they were all looking you, waiting for your response. you paused, contemplating their suggestion.

they were right. you had to stop considering Jeno in all your decisions. especially after tonight when he so painfully cannot let go of her even after your moment with him. it was clear where you stand in jeno’s life—his best friend who he had slept with. going on a date with a handsome stranger did spark something within you.

“fine.” you sighed, making them cheer. mark already reached for his phone. “don’t make me regret this.”

as excitement filled the room, you couldn’t help but be thankful that your friends were helping you keep your mind off of jeno. maybe this distraction was precisely what you needed.

you fixed your hair in the mirror's reflection one last time before heading out. today was your date with mark’s friend, jaemin. his name sounded oddly familiar to you, but you couldn’t pinpoint where you heard it. you figured it was a common name around the city, so you brushed it off.

to say you were not nervous would be a lie. your heart beat against your chest as you waited for the knock on your door. mark sent you jaemin’s number so you could set up the details yourselves. you’ve briefly exchanged conversations with the mystery guy, and you found out he was in the same year you were at university. it made you wonder if you had crossed paths with him.

jaemin persistently insisted that he come to pick you up at your place, claiming he is a gentleman. which was a massive check in your book, and you couldn’t bring yourself to say no. it was charming and refreshing. so here you were in a white silky long-sleeve dress that stopped mid-thigh, stocking on, and nice cute heels to go along with the outfit. he had told you to dress not too fancy but not too casual either, and you figured this was the best you could come up with.

moments later, the inevitable knock on your door came. you smoothed out the fabric of your dress before approaching the door.

“hi–” you pulled the door open and faced him, the wind knocking out of your body once you laid eyes on him.

jaemin was gorgeous. his black hair falling in the most perfect way possible. he was dressed in a black shirt that peeked through his jacket, paired with dark denim jeans. he emitted a calm, understated confidence that made your stomach flutter and your cheeks warm.

“hey.” jaemin greeted you, a smile on his lips, his voice warm and comforting. “you look—wow, stunning.” he breathed, feeling shy beneath his gaze.

“hi, jaemin.” you replied, returning his grin. “thank you. you’re not so bad yourself.”

jaemin chuckled, holding out his arm in a cheesy way. “shall we, m’lady?”

“oh god.” you covered your face with your hands.

“i’m kidding.” jaemin reached out to pull your arms away. “come on.” he slipped his grip from your arms to your hands, locking his fingers with yours. a bold move, but you liked it.

jaemin opened the car door for you. you silently thanked him as you slipped into the passenger seat. he closed the door gently before jogging to the driver's side.

“so,” jaemin spoke once he started the car. you turned to face him. “are you nervous?” a hint of playfulness in his eyes.

you couldn’t help but laugh at his question. “kinda.” you admitted.

“good, that makes the two of us.”

the car ride was surprisingly comfortable. the small talk flowed easily, revealing more of his sweet and kind nature. you noticed how he drove the perfect speed to not make you nauseous, how he would avoid the potholes in the street so the ride wouldn’t be bumpy. you were hoping this entire night would keep your mind off the chaos you tried to bury.

he pulled up to a restaurant that was part of town that you were unsure if you’d been to before. the minimal but sophisticated signage illuminated the name that you were sure you couldn’t pronounce.

jaemin didn’t forget to open your car door for you once again. his hand resting on the small of your back as he navigated the both of you through the dimly lit restaurant. fancy. he gave his last name to the host before you were both assisted to your seats. as you followed the steps of your waiter, a familiar laughter erupting in the air made you stop in your tracks

no. it couldn’t be.

“jeno!” jaemin greeted the young man. jeno turned his head as he heard his name called, and his familiar eye smile made its way to his face once he saw jaemin. but his expression quickly faltered when he saw you were next to him. when did this happen? he wondered.

across from jeno was—you already guessed it—karina, who was slicing through her steak, unbothered by the newly arrived presence.

blood raced through your head, feeling dizzy when the two men exchanged greetings and surprisedness. of course, that was why jaemin was so familiar, he was jeno’s roommate! you have only been to jeno’s apartment a few times, and he told you that he had a roommate who was busy with his medical degree, so he always opted to hang out at your place. you never would’ve imagined that he was the same jaemin that lived with jeno. you silently cursed mark and his conniving ways; he probably set this up on purpose, too.

you stood still, watching the scene before you unfold. the air suddenly felt tight as the waiter pointed to the two vacant seats directly beside jeno and karina. ringing noise infiltrated your ears as jaemin smiled and pulled out the chair for you to sit in.

“can—are there any other seats?” you asked the waiter. this time, karina dropped her utensils at the familiar voice, her brow raising at the sight of you. “i just—it’s too hot in here.” you stammered, gripping the back of your chair.

the scene in front of you felt like a cruel twist of fate. the universe couldn’t have planned this better if it had tried. out of all the restaurants in the city, you just had to end up here. with jeno. and karina. together. on the night that you were supposed to forget said people.

“are you okay?” jaemin was quick to your side, worry plastered on his face. his genuineness added to the heaviness of your chest. you sent him a weak smile, brushing off his worries.

“i’m sorry, miss.” the waiter said apologetically, bowing his head lightly. “we are fully booked tonight.” you pursed your lips, nodding at him.

the last thing you wanted was to sit through an awkward dinner with jeno within your eyes and earshot while his girlfriend smugly sat mere inches beside you, completely unaware of what happened between you and jeno. but you couldn’t let jaemin’s effort go to waste. you fixed your posture, grabbing jaemin’s outstretched hand that was waiting for you, and you sat on the chair he pulled out for you.

you couldn’t help it; you hesitantly glanced at jeno, whose gaze was intent on you, jaw almost clenching at your presence. swallowing hard, you lifted the menu to cover your face from his intense stare, questioning what you had done to deserve this.

somehow, jaemin couldn’t sense the tension between you and his roommate. he talked to you with a sweet smile, but you could barely register his words because you kept zoning his words out due to the presence next to him.

“oh! have i told you that this guy,” jaemin pointed his thumb to jeno who suddenly turned to look at him. “is my roommate! what a small world.” he chuckled.

your stomach dropped. of course, he had to bring it up. you chewed on your bottom lip, contemplating whether you should mention the nature of your relationship with jeno.

karina, who overheard your conversation, snickered before chiming in. “of course, she would know, silly! she’s jeno’s best friend.”

“wait, what?” jaemin’s eyebrows furrowed, gaze flicking from you to jeno. “you two know each other?” he questioned.

“yeah.” you forced a tight lip smile, feeling the heat creep up your neck. “we’ve known each other since we were kids.”

“wait, so you’re y/n—jeno’s y/n?” you winced at his words, hating how you were addressed. he wasn’t yours, and you certainly weren’t his. “oh my god, how didn’t i connect the dots sooner.” he mumbled, more to himself, still surprised by the proximity of relationships.

jeno let out a dry chuckle at his reaction, trying to mask his stern expression. the room suddenly felt hot. you reached for the glass of water and sipped it in the cool liquid to neutralize your throat.

“this makes tonight even better! no first-date awkwardness since you’re practically family with jeno.”

you choked on the water, the liquid spilling from your lips as you coughed, making jaemin’s eyes widen. people started to stare, but jaemin was already rushing to your side to help wipe the spilled water. out of the corner of your eye, you noticed jeno slightly twitch as if he wanted to offer some help but restrained himself, letting jaemin do the work. his jaw was tight; his lips were pressed into a thin line.

you wanted to crawl under the table. family? the word felt like a bucket of ice being poured down your body—literally. the word was laughable, given everything that happened between you and jeno. 

jeno tried to peel his eyes away as jaemin’s hands roamed your body. averting his gaze to karina, his lovely girlfriend. he reminded himself.

once jaemin made sure you were okay, you thanked him, and he returned to his seat, apologizing to the other tables bothered by your sudden outburst. cheeks heating up when you realize a lot of people were witnesses to your clumsiness.

the food you ordered shortly arrived. the smell of freshly cooked meat and pasta filling the air, you hadn’t realized how hungry you were until the plates were set up in front of you. the meal provided a much-needed distraction, and the night seemed to flow more smoothly for a while. jeno finally fixed his gaze to fixate on his date, and you were paying attention to yours.

“hm, what are your pet peeves?” jaemin asked, taking a bite of his food.

you paused for a second, profoundly considering his question. “i hate liars.” you blurted out. you didn’t miss the way jeno’s hand froze mid-way into feeding the spoon into his mouth. “i hate when people tell me they’ll do something or take care of something for me but end up not keeping their end of the bargain.” you kept your tone casual. still, you knew you got the message across—even to the table beside you.

jaemin nodded along. “yeah, i get that.” his tone was empathetic. “it’s frustrating when someone doesn’t follow through. makes them seem untrustworthy.” 

you smiled at him, grateful that he shared the same views as you. you stole a quick glance at jeno, whose gaze was fixed on the plate on the table, but his hand was nearly turning red from his grip on the utensil. karina, who seemed confused by his sudden behavior, reached out to grab his hand in hers, making jeno look up and let out a sigh—you don’t know whether it was one of contentment or annoyance.

“please excuse me, i need to run to the bathroom real quick.” you mumbled to jaemin, flashing him a small smile as you slid your chair back. he nodded, returning a gentle smile, averting his attention to his phone while he waited for you to return.

jeno heard your excuse, eyes scanning karina who was too busy consuming her dessert before flickering to you who disappeared into the hallway that lead to the restroom.

without much thought, jeno impulsively excused himself from karina, muttering something about needing to wash his hands.

you leaned against the bathroom sink, sighing to yourself before running the cold water over your hands to somehow calm your nerves. jeno was confusing you. you hated not knowing what he was thinking, not having control over the situation. you didn’t have it in you to actually talk to jeno about the previous events. you were afraid of hearing the truth—that he chose her, like he did over and over again.

the sound of the bathroom door creaking open brought you to your senses. you glanced in the mirror, expecting another customer, your heart skipping when you saw jeno standing there, his expression unreadable.

“jeno? what are you doing here?” you whispered, eyes wide as you realized he’s in the women’s bathroom.

“jaemin, really?” jeno snorted, face contorting into anger? annoyance? you couldn’t tell, in fact you were confused as to why he was acting out of proportion. “out of all the people, you chose my friend?”

“i didn’t know he was your friend.” you defended, frowning at his accusation. “and why do you care?” you prodded, trying to grasp the situation.

“i don't.” jeno shot back. “as your friend,” he said, as if the word was laced with venom. “i’m just looking out for you. jaemin’s very busy with his degree and i doubt he has time to settle down.”

you couldn’t help but laugh bitterly. “that’s rich coming from you.” you spat. “and friend? really? friends don’t do what we did, jeno.” you angrily whispered the last part, cautious of the people around.

jeno lightly flinched at your words, the sentence hanging heavy in the air. you sighed, getting ready to walk past him but he caught your arm before you could leave.

“i’m sorry.” jeno mumbled, regret evident in his eyes.

you shook your head, the lump in your throat threatening to be released. “just go back to her, jeno. isn’t that what you’re best at?” you pushed past him, shoulders brushing against one another, leaving jeno alone in the bathroom.

jaemin drove you back to your apartment. jeno and karina had left moments before you did, allowing you to let out a sigh of relief as soon as they were gone. you offered to pay for half the meal, but jaemin insisted on covering it, even sneaking in a small “you cover it next time,” accompanied by a wink that made your heart flutter.

jaemin was perfect. he lived up to mark’s description of him—kind, sweet, and painfully handsome. you’ve caught yourself staring at his face down to his lips more times than you cared to admit. there were even moments when your eyes drifted to his biceps when he shrugged his jacket off.

but somehow, deep inside, your mind stubbornly drifted back to the one person you wanted nothing more than to forget. seeing jeno witness you on a date to sparked a sense of satisfaction within you—a small win to prove to him (and maybe even yourself) that you were capable of forgetting that night. but the truth lingered in the back of your mind: you hadn’t. the little encounter you had with him also etched in your mind, still wondering what the meaning of all of it was. that night replayed over and over, making it impossible to let go. you convinced yourself that you didn’t care that he was still with karina, but it was like a fever burning you alive. every time you saw her, the weight of your actions dragged you down. you slept with her boyfriend, and no self-justification could erase the betrayal that you had inflicted. you weren’t sure if you could ever forgive yourself for it.

jaemin seemed quieter on the drive home, and you wondered if you ticked him off. he barely spared you a glance, and it made you even more nervous.

did he not enjoy the date? had you done something to upset him?

as he pulled up to your apartment, you beat him to open your door for you, wanting to escape the suffocating confines of the vehicle.

“hey, y/n.” jaemin called out when you barely glanced in his direction, directly jogging to your apartment entrance. you froze in your spot, barely entering your complex when he caught up to you. he stopped in front of you, his frame towering over yours beneath the moon's soft glow.

“did i do anything wrong?” you blurted out, avoiding eye contact with him.

“what? no.” jaemin’s eyebrows furrowed, shaking his head, sincerity dripping from his voice. “i was just thinking about how much i wanna kiss you tonight… but i didn’t want to scare you off.” he admitted, scratching the back of his neck.

the anxiety and tension within your body dissipated from his mere confession. you blinked up at him, processing his words. the knot in your stomach unraveled, and you felt foolish for jumping to the worst conclusion.

jaemin took a step closer, his warmth engulfing you. he lifted his hand, fingers gently tucking the loose strand of hair behind your ear. the soft touch sent a flutter through your body, instinctively leaning against his touch.

“can i?” he asked softly, voice so tender it was enough to make you melt.

you nodded, unable to find the words.

jaemin leaned in, your eyes falling shut as he minimized the distance between you. when his lips finally met yours, it was soft and gentle. his hand cupping your cheek while his other arm wrapped around your waist, pulling your body flush against his so that you were chest-to-chest.

his kiss wasn’t rushed and overwhelming—it was perfect as if he was savoring every moment.

he pulled away, lips mere inches from yours as you both caught your breaths. “i’ve been wanting to do that all night.”

you giggled at his confession, cheeks burning as you met his eyes. you placed your palms against his chest, fingers tapping. “i’m glad you did.”

jaemin grinned at you, his thumb caressing your cheek. “good.” he said softly. “because i’d like to do it again sometime.”

your lips parted to respond, but he placed a quick but affectionate kiss on your forehead before you could. a small gesture, but it made your knees weak.

“goodnight, y/n.” he mumbled, stepping away from you with a small wave.

“goodnight, jaemin.” you replied, smiling at him.

with one last glance, he turned and walked back to his car, leaving you with a smile you couldn’t seem to wipe away.

“tell me everything!” chaewon’s voice echoed throughout the apartment the second you stepped foot in it. you laughed as she almost tripped, making her way to you. she grabbed your hands, shaking them excitedly. “well?” she questioned, voice jumping an octave. “was he nice? handsome? did you kiss?” she gasped, hand covering her mouth. “did you fuck?”

“chaewon!” you playfully scolded her, as she guided you to the couch. her knees tucked beneath her as she looked at you with wide eyes, waiting for you to fill her on what happened.

you took a deep breath before you disclosed everything that had happened that evening. how jaemin was a perfect guy—not forgetting to mention how handsome he is—and how jeno and karina were at the restaurant you were at, deciding to leave out your encounter with jeno in the bathroom.

“what, what?” chaewon exclaimed, “they were there? out of all places jaemin could’ve taken you to?” she tried to suppress her laughter, but you saw how amused she was by your revelation.

“i know.” you groaned, letting your body fall on the sofa, head landing on her lap. “i’m convinced the universe hates me.” you covered your face with your hands.

“how did you feel?” chaewon asked, patting your head that was laid down on her lap. “when you saw jeno and karina together?”

you pondered for a second. how did you feel? there was a mix of emotions that coursed through you—guilt, anxiety, jealousy, anger. everything felt so different. jeno is—or was—your best friend. whenever you two argued, it could usually be resolved over a shared tub of ice cream, but this situation felt far beyond the reach of simple, sweet solutions.

​​no one knew about what happened that night, and it seemed like he had no intention of telling anyone either. you were equally guilty, of course, having taken part in such a scandalous act. but you couldn’t bring yourself to speak the truth aloud.

“i don’t know.” you mumbled, pulling your hands away. “i told myself before that i’ve accepted it, that he will never like me, but…” you trailed off, contemplating whether you should tell her to truth or just keep it to yourself a little longer. “but i have got to stop lying myself. i’m losing my goddamn mind because of him.” she nodded to your words. “it’s just so hard to pretend that he’s just my friend, chae.” a tear slipped from your eye, and she immediately reached to wipe it off.

chaewon stayed silent, still gently brushing your hair. “it’s okay.” she comforted, flashing you a soft smile. “you can’t just flip a switch and stop caring about someone who’s been such a big part of your life.”

her words struck like a chord. you blinked at her, sighing. “i just thought it would be easier as time passed by.” this time, you couldn’t stop the tears that gushed. you hadn’t realized how much you’ve been carrying alone. it was too much. you needed to clear your head.

“you’re not alone in this, okay? you’ve got me, mark, haechan, and now… even jaemin.” she wiggled her eyebrows, a teasing smile on her lips.

a small laugh escaped you despite the tears. “jaemin.” you repeated, the thought of him momentarily bringing you joy.

“excatly! and from what you told me, he sounds like a dream.” chaewon’s excitement bubbled up again. “now tell me more about him!”

the front door opened and shut, making jeno stand from his bed and walk out to the living room. jaemin was setting his keys down on the counter while shrugging his jacket off when he spotted jeno.

“hey, jeno.” jaemin greeted, smiling at him. “tonight was crazy! i didn’t even know she was the same y/n you told me about.” he recalled, heart feeling warm at the thought of you.

“yeah,” jeno replied gruffly, “so listen,” he started, making jaemin turn to him, listening intently. “y/n’s… my best friend, and i wouldn’t want anything—or anyone to hurt her, you know?” he threaded lightly, careful not to show too much emotion, but enough to get the message across. he knew he had no right to tell you who to date but something about seeing you with jaemin stirred something within him and he didn’t know if he wants to find out.

jeno couldn’t bring himself to admit it. he had been avoiding you as much as you were to him. he couldn’t face the consequences of his actions. this was unlike him. he didn’t mean to lie to his girlfriend—didn’t mean to lie to you. when he told you he was going to fix it, he thought he could get it over with karina. he saw you in the back of his mind every time he closed his eyes. he remembers the soft feeling of your lips against him or how your bodies were pressed up against one another. he felt like shit, having all these thoughts about a girl—his best friend—while he had a girlfriend. but something tugged at his heart, the sight of her brought him back to reality, grounding him.

how could he trade what he had for something uncertain?

jeno loved karina. he. loved. her. so he convinced himself. she was perfect—beautiful, confident, and everything he thought he wanted. he felt a pang of guilt every time he kissed her, every time he touched her. how could he hurt the woman he claimed he loved?

so why did the thought of jaemin kissing you make him feel like he was losing something he never realized he wanted?

jaemin raised a brow but nodded anyway. “of course, man. i like her. i wouldn’t do anything to mess this up.”

all jeno could do was nod, although the weight never left his chest. “thanks, jaem, that’s all i needed to hear.” he forced a smile before retreating back to his room.

your laughter echoing through the hall made jeno freeze. what were you doing here? he thought to himself. he curiously opened his bedroom door, trying to eavesdrop.

“sorry, it’s a bit of a mess. i haven’t had time to clean up.” jaemin nervously laughed, trying to chuck away any trash or mess lying around.

you giggled at his nervousness, “it’s fine, jaemin.”

you were here for jaemin, of course. jeno scoffed, shutting his door to try and drown out the noise.

it had been a week since your first date with jaemin, and the two of you had been texting constantly the minute you parted ways. to say he was great would be an understatement—he was perfect. he knew exactly what to say to sweep you off your feet, leaving you smiling and giggling at your phone more often than you’d like to admit. however, as much as jaemin was perfect, your heart had a way of tugging at you, persistently reminding you of the one person you were trying so hard to erase from your mind.

jaemin invited you over to his—and jeno’s—apartment. you were weary of accepting his invitation at first, not wanting to invade jeno’s space, especially after your encounter with him. but jaemin seemed so excited to see you again, and despite everything, you were, too. you decided not to let jeno affect your relationship with jaemin.

you took a seat on the far end of the couch while jaemin sat on the opposite. he shot you a funny look before patting over to the space beside him. “why are you so far?”

you were as nervous as him. you hadn’t been alone with a boy—other than jeno, mark, or haechan—in so long you weren’t sure if you could contain yourself. after all, you are still a very hormonal girl.

“no reason.” you mumbled, but your expression failed you. you were getting goosebumps with the simple chill of the air. jaemin chuckled, deciding to slide over to your side instead. your thighs touching from his sudden proximity.

“you’re cute.” jaemin muttered, his hand moving to brush the stray hair that fell on your face.

“are you sure jeno doesn’t mind that i’m here?” you questioned, facing jaemin.

“you’re literally best friends, i know he doesn’t mind.” he smirked, eyes falling to your lips.

oh, but jeno minded. he minded a lot. it wasn’t his fault that the walls in this apartment were thin. your voices pierced through, hearing your every word, every laugh. his chest tightening with something he couldn’t quite place his finger on—guilt? frustration? jealousy? all he knew was that hearing you with jaemin felt like a knife twisting deeper with every passing second.

“you’re so beautiful.” jaemin mumbled, licking his lips. you placed your hands on his chest, tugging the collar of his shirt slightly closer to you. his breath fanned your face as he inched closer to you. “just wanna kiss you all day.”

you closed the gap between your lips, savoring his taste. jaemin wrapped his arms around your waist, hoisting you so that you were straddling his thighs. you gasped at his suddenness, but you secretly liked it anyway, looping your arms around his neck. he effortlessly slipped his tongue into your mouth, taking control, and you let him. 

you felt his growing bulge beneath you, making you giggle into the kiss. you ground your hips against him, pressing onto his cock, eliciting a groan from him. “who knew you were so naughty, hm?”

jeno had enough. he purposely pulled his door open, making a loud enough commotion to have you and jaemin separate from each other. you were about to hop off jaemin’s lap, but his grip on your hips prevented you from leaving.

“jeno, didn’t know you were here!”

“yeah, well, i live here too.” jeno grumbled, pretending to go to the kitchen and look for a drink. he saw you sitting on jaemin’s lap, and it felt like he was punched in the gut.

from jeno’s point of view, he could only see your face and the back of jaemin’s head. jeno’s eyes locked with yours, his jaw clenched as his gaze flickered to the both of you. your cheeks grew warm, your hands resting awkwardly on jaemin’s shoulders as if unsure where they should be.

“please don’t fuck,” jeno paused, eyes directly fixated on you, his eyes dark. your heart sped up, somehow getting his message. “on the couch.” maybe you were reading too much into it.

jaemin chuckled, his grip on you tightened, and suddenly, he stood up and held you in his arms. you yelped, legs instinctively wrapping around his waist. “we’ll move this party elsewhere.” he guided you towards his bedroom, leaving jeno alone in the kitchen with his fist curled up into a ball as he watched you descend into the room.

only a thin wall was separating him from you and jaemin. jeno knew what you two were up to. he sat on his chair, facing his desk, head in his hands as he tried to contain himself. his curiosity got the best of him. he stood up, walking towards the wall that faced jaemin’s room and pressing his ear against the wall.

holy shit. jeno thought. he could hear your soft moans through the mall, his mind flashing back to the night you spent together. the sound immediately traveling to his dick. jaemin either had his fingers or dick in you because the way you were whining for him sounded so pretty.

jeno couldn’t help it, he palmed himself through his pajamas, ear still pressed against the wall.

“fuck, jaemin.” he heard you cry out. he bit his lip, trying to prevent any noise from escaping him as he took his cock out of his bottoms. it didn’t take long before he heard clapping and squelching sounds from the other side of the room.

jeno was upset—upset that he had to listen to another guy fuck you while he pathetically jerked himself off. his fingers wrapped around his length, closing his eyes while he listens to your moans. he imagined you. imagined how you were in his room instead of the other. imagining how it was your fingers wrapped around his cock. he began to stroke himself slowly, his thumb smearing the pre-cum that managed to spurt from his tip.

your moans began to get louder, jeno began picking up his pace. fucking his hand with every sound that left your lips. his mind convinced himself that you were making such pretty noises for him. he contained the grunts that threatened to escape his mouth, lips nearly bleeding from holding back. you began chanting jaemin’s name through breaths, indicating that you were close. jeno continued stroking himself until he came hard with his hand around his length, just from the sound of your moans.

you jolted awake, glancing at the clock, the number 1:43 am on display. after you and jaemin had sex, you immediately passed out, not having a chance to get ready for sleep. jaemin’s arm was lazily wrapped around your waist. you gently pushed it away. your throat felt dry, so you decided to sneak into the kitchen to grab a glass. you picked up the discarded shirt on the ground—most likely jaemin’s—slipped it on, and put on your underwear before tiptoeing out of his room, careful not to make too much noise.

in the midst of chugging down a cold glass of water, the sound of a door opening was heard from the end of the hall. it was jeno’s room. you froze, realizing you were not in proper attire right now. you set the glass on the sink before trying to retreat into jaemin’s room.

“y/n?” jeno’s voice echoed through the hall. you mentally cursed as you got caught, thankful the room was still dark. that was until he met you in the kitchen, hand instinctively reaching for the switch to turn on the overhead lights. his breath hitched once he took in your state. legs bare and nipples hard against your plain white shirt that stopped just below your ass. it was like the universe wanted him to sin. “what are you doing awake?” he managed to let out once his eyes stopped taking in your figure. his voice was rough as if he had just woken up from slumber.

“just thirsty.” you mumbled, cheeks getting warm at your semi-exposed state. jeno wasn’t that covered at all, too. he was in his plaid pajama pants that hung low on his waist, and his chest was bare, his toned abs emphasizing under the dim lights.

jeno hummed, walking carefully towards you. “couldn’t sleep?” 

you nodded, instinctively trying to move further away from him, but you bumped into the kitchen island behind you. trapped, you placed your hands against the counter to support yourself, forcing you to meet his eyes. you couldn’t understand the emotion behind them. your mind was getting hazy from his gaze. as much as you wanted to cower and run away, your feet seemed to stop working for some reason.

jeno leaned in slightly, his arms on either side of you as he gripped the edge of the counter, effectively caging you in. your whole body froze, unsure what to do next. all you know is his scent was once again invading your space. his face was so close to you that it reminded you of the night you spent together.

“why do you keep doing this to me?” he whispered, breath fanning your face.

“i’m not doing anything.” you defended, but your voice came out soft.

“exactly.”

jeno kissed you, and you kissed him back. your arms traveled around his neck, pulling him close to you. notwithstanding the fact that the guy you were seeing was in the other room, merely a few steps away from where you were.

the effect jeno had on you was different, almost perplexing. it was like he knew exactly how to get under your skin—like he knew that you would come crawling back to him like how he would to her.

jeno wrapped his arms around your waist. his tongue effortlessly slid into your mouth, twirling it around yours. suddenly, he hoisted your body so that you were sitting on the island counter, making you gasp through the kiss.

“open your legs for me.” he mumbled, pulling away from your lips.

you did as he told, spreading your legs. he stood in between them, giving you another short kiss before his hands traveled to slightly lift the hem of your shirt, just enough to give him the perfect view of your lacy underwear.

jeno groaned once he saw the wet patch forming between your legs. “you just got fucked two hours ago, and you’re still this wet?”

“how did you—“

“you’re not exactly quiet, sweetheart.”

you cowered, head turning away from him, but his fingers caught your chin, forcing you to look at him. his other hand hooking the waistband of your underwear, playing with it.

“can’t believe you’d rather get fucked by him when i’m right here.”

you glared at him. “this is wrong.”

“do you want me to stop?” you stayed silent, making him smirk. “that’s what i thought.”

jeno pulled your underwear down your legs in a painfully deliberate manner, making you swat his arm. he laughed, letting the fabric fall down the floor.

“keep laughing. i can just wake him up, and he’ll do it for me.”

jeno’s laughter faltered, a dark look in his eyes replacing his playful mood. “not fucking funny.” his hand cupped your core, a small yelp escaping your lips. his fingers ran down your folds, spreading your arousal. 

your hands fell to his shoulders, gripping it as he teased your hole. it felt so wrong, but you had clearly decided to throw your morals out the window long ago.

“don’t like seeing you with him.” jeno admitted, his voice low. his confession was supposed to drive you crazy, instead, it felt unfair—like he wasn’t keeping his end of the deal.

“j-jeno.” you moaned, mindful of the volume of your voice. his fingers circled your entrance, just enough to drive you crazy. “you can’t tell me what to do.” you managed to let out, keeping him in place. it was almost absurd how he had the nerve to admit that he didn’t like seeing you with another guy while having a whole girlfriend himself. you bit your tongue back because, well, he was touching you so good, and quite frankly, you didn’t want him to stop.

“maybe,” he hummed before inserting two digits into your entrance. your head dropped to his shoulder, heavily breathing against his skin. he pulled his fingers out before inserting them again, your wetness coating his digits. “but at least i have you moaning my name like the slut you are.”

jeno thrusted his fingers at a pace that had your vision clouded with stars. your fingernails dug into his skin as he curled his fingers, hitting all your sweet spots. you bit your lip to avoid making too much noise, especially since jaemin was just in the room next to yours. his free hand snaked to your hair, gripping it while pulling your head away from his shoulder—careful not to tug on it too harshly—making you look at him in the eye.

“keep quiet. don’t want loverboy to find you grinding on my hand now, do we?” jeno smirked, making your mouth water.

you squirmed at the stretch of his fingers. when he felt you clench around him, he placed his thumb on your clit, rubbing addicting circles on it. his fingers effortlessly sliding in and out of you. his eye contact was overwhelming as he watched you tremble from his mere touch. 

“oh god.” you cried out, face scrunching from the pleasure. your hips bucked against his hand, desperate to feel more.

jeno’s pajamas grew tighter at the sight of you, wishing nothing more than to bend you over and fuck you senseless on this counter—but he couldn’t. not when you just emerged from the room of one of his closest friends, where you did the same activities he wished he could’ve done with you. so he resorted to making you cum just with his fingers.

“be a good girl,” jeno mumbled, pressing his lips against yours. “and cum for me.” he increased the pace in which he was thrusting his digits, each one accompanied by the slight curl of his fingers.

your back arched just by his words, body pushing into him as small gasps left your lips. he almost smiles at the way you looked. so fucking cute, he thought.

“shit—jeno.” you whimpered. your stomach contracted, a clear sign that you were close. and with his thumb doing miracles on your clit, you couldn’t help but cum all over his fingers.

a string of curse words fell from your lips. legs trembling and breath shaking as you rode out your high. your posture nearly giving up as you tried to compose yourself.

jeno pulled his fingers away from your pussy. he couldn’t resist placing them in his mouth, lapping up your juices while maintaining eye contact with you.

that was so hot.

you swatted his arm, feeling shy, but he only chuckled. he leaned down, grabbing your discarded underwear from the floor. “can i keep this?” he boldly asked.

you pondered for a second before quickly snatching the item from his hand. “and if karina finds it?”

jeno grumbled, shoulders slouching from the thought of his girlfriend. “killjoy.” he muttered.

you hopped off the counter, slipping your underwear on. “i gotta go before jaemin wakes up.”

“right.” jeno mumbled, eyes lingering on you for a second, “no goodnight kiss?” he sure was getting comfortable.

“don’t push it.”

you sneaked back into jaemin’s room. his sleeping figure peacefully lying on the bed, almost in the same position you left him in. you nibbled on your bottom lip as guilt started to creep in. you occupied the space next to him. his unconscious self felt your presence, immediately wrapping his arm around your waist. you decided to close your eyes, slumbering taking over you while the weight of your actions sat on you.

you: i need u where are u mark: ??? i am not your sneaky link you: not like that asshole. need someone to talk to mark: diner? you: be there in 10

your eyes scanned the diner, looking for mark’s blond hair to stand out. spotting him at the corner booth, you slid into the empty seat before him. his head looking up to face you, his usual smile plastered on his face.

“hey, nerd.” mark greeted. “you okay? i thought you wanted to fuck me or something.” he chuckled, nudging his plate of fries close to you.

you groaned, head falling to the table. “i’ve had enough of fucking friends for a lifetime.” you mumbled, voice low.

“what’d you say?”

you lifted your head, crossing your arms on top of the table. “you have to promise not to be mad, okay?” you pouted.

“it depends.”

“mark! i’m serious, i don't think i can't take it anymore.” you groaned.

“is this about jeno?”

“what?” your eyes widened, head tilting at him. “not that i’m saying it is, but why did you think that?”

“it’s obvious. you two aren’t hanging as much as you used to. i just figured you got into a fight or something.” mark shrugged, leaning against the chair.

“before i tell you, you have to promise not to judge and that you won’t think any less of me.”

“alright, fine. i promise.” mark raised his hands in defeat.

you let out a sigh before telling him everything. starting from the night of the party—how that one tiny kiss led to the chaos you were now tangled in. you opened up about your feelings for jeno and how conflicted you were now that jaemin’s in the picture. you told him about how guilty you were for doing this to karina. then you moved on to your encounter at jeno and jaemin’s apartment.

mark’s expression shifted throughout your story. his expression juggling between shocked and confused. his brows furrowed in concern, mouth dropping in shock. he let out tiny coughs whenever the story steered into messy territory, his eyes wandering anywhere but on you, trying his best to keep his promise of not judging you.

when you finally finished summarizing everything to him, you covered your face with your hands, ashamed of your story. although your chest felt lighter at the thought of finally confiding about your situation with someone like you had just ripped open a wound and exposed it to the world.

“wow,” mark started, leaning forward and resting his elbows on the table. “that’s… a lot.”

“i know.” you grumbled, looking down at the table.

“but i’m not mad at you.” he quickly assured, his tone gentle. “and i don’t think less of you. after all, you’re still human, y/n. it must’ve been so confusing for you.” his hand reached across the table, taking your hand in his, in an attempt to comfort you. “i won’t lie, this is really messy, but you’re not a horrible person. you just made bad decisions, but it doesn’t mean you’re bad.”

anxiety washed over you, you wanted to believe his words, but a part of you was convinced he was only saying this because he’s your friend. you shook your head, feeling defeated. “i don’t know, mark. i just… i could’ve stopped it, you know? but i felt stuck.” your throat tightened as the words left your mouth. “i was too caught up in this—this fantasy of mine that i didn’t realize i’d be hurting people.”

mark’s thumb drew small circles on the back of your hand. “hey, we’ll figure it out, okay? the first step is being honest—talk to jeno. if you really regret it, tell him this… thing between you has got to stop. he’s your best friend, y/n, and he has a girlfriend, i know it hurts, but we can’t force things to happen.”

he was right. you couldn’t keep doing this to yourself, especially with other people involved.

“yeah.” you whispered, voice cracking as tears welled in your eyes. “i’m sorry, mark.”

“don’t apologize to me.” mark squeezed your hand. “i’ll support you no matter what, but you have got to clean this up. because the longer you wait, the worse it will get.”

you stood outside the lecture hall where jeno was, shifting your weight from one foot to another as you waited for the bell to dismiss his class.

after your conversation with mark and a sleepless night, you decided to confront jeno. the weight on your chest had become unbearable, and you knew it was time to address everything head-on.

“jeno—” you called out as students began to flood out of the room, but your voice faltered when you saw that karina trailed behind him, naturally reaching for his hand. 

jeno’s head turned at the sound of your voice. his eyes widened when they landed on you, surprise evident in his expression. he hesitated before walking toward you, karina following at his side.

“y/n? what’s wrong?” jeno wondered, his tone soft. you weren’t exactly on speaking terms recently, so you looking for his presence was news to him. karina stood beside him, making your stomach twist uncomfortably. she glanced between the two of you, curiosity and perhaps suspicion flickering across her face.

you gave karina a polite nod, barely meeting her eyes. you couldn’t even face her; seeing him with her stung, and you didn’t even have the right to be hurt. she returned the gesture with a tight, hesitant smile. you always sensed that she wasn’t fond of you, you couldn’t blame her—especially with recent events.

“i need to talk to you,” you pleaded, looking up at him. “alone, please?”

karina’s expression shifted, but she said nothing. jeno glanced at her, silently asking for permission. she gave him a nod as jeno mumbled something you couldn’t hear. she let go of his hand after he let her go with a quick peck on the lips, making you avert your gaze elsewhere—the simple act making your chest tighten with jealousy and guilt tangled together.

jeno returned his gaze to you and gestured his hand for you to lead the way.

you ended up at the park located on campus. given your situation, a secluded area wouldn’t be the best for you right now. you and jeno sat on a bench with the perfect fountain view. chatter could be heard from around you, and it somehow eased your senses.

you stayed quiet, pondering on what to say to him. this morning you woke up with a heavy heart. you spent all night thinking about mark’s advice. the events of the past month haunted you. although your time with jaemin had been filled with warmth and laughter, the guilt clawed at your chest, begging to be released. you felt like you couldn’t entirely give yourself to him without addressing the elephant in the room with jeno.

it was unfair—to jaemin, who had been nothing but kind and sweet, and to yourself, for carrying a weight that wasn’t entirely yours to bear. it was also hypocritical, you were doing to jaemin exactly what you hated that jeno was doing to karina.

“y/n?” jeno’s voice bringing you out of your trance. you lifted your head to face him, his eyes filled with sincerity. “are you okay?”

you looked at him as if he had three heads. here you were, almost drowning in guilt, and he couldn’t even sense you were struggling. “are you serious, jeno?” you scoffed, folding your arms across your chest. the frustration you had bottled up spilled before you could register it. “you’re really asking if i’m okay?”

his eyes widened at your outburst, expression turning soft as he tried to read you. “i just—”

“i can’t take it anymore, jeno.” your voice turned soft, sighing. “this—what we’re doing, we can’t.”

“y/n…”

“can you be honest with me?” you asked. he nodded, gaze intent on you. “do you regret it? what we did?”

jeno paused for a second, scanning your exhausted expression. “i don’t want to hurt you.” he mumbled, voice low.

“that’s the thing, though.” you dryly chuckled, running a hand through your hair. “i’m already hurting. do you think it’s easy for me to see you with her, especially after what we’ve done?”

“what—”

“i like you, jeno.” you confessed, watching as his expression twisted into surprise. “i’ve liked you ever since we were kids, and i thought it was just a silly crush, but it’s not. i keep lying to myself that you’ll like me, that maybe you’ll see me the way i see you.” you spilled before you could even stop the words running out of your mouth. “every time you came to me when you fought, i thought that there was a reason you kept seeing me.” you blinked at him. “and i thought that you kissing me meant that you had the tiniest feelings for me, but you’re still with her, i see the way you look at her.”

“y/n, its not like that—”

“then what is it, jeno?” your voice trembled as you took a shaky breath. “because i—i’m losing my mind here, and you’re being… you’re being mean.”

“mean?”

“yes. you don’t have to lie, okay? i know i’m equally responsible for doing this with you, but i feel like i don’t deserve to be lied to. don’t tell me you’ll take care of things, and don’t tell me not to worry because i’ve been waking up worried ever since that happened! and what we did to jaemin the other day…”

“i’m sorry…”

“you love her, jeno. i get it. but do you have any idea how hard it was for me to see you run to her every time? how hard it was for me to pretend like i’m okay with just being your friend?” tears were threatening to spill from your eyes, and you looked up to prevent them from falling.

“i didn’t—i never meant to make you feel this way, y/n.” the guilt in his eyes was so heavy it made your heart ache.

“then what did you mean to do?” you asked, voice barely audible.

“i don’t know.” jeno admitted, “i’m confused, y/n. i care about you a lot, okay? i really do, but i…”

“you love karina.” you finished for him.

jeno stayed silent, and that was all the confirmation you needed. you stood up abruptly, wiping your tears with the back of your hand before turning around to walk away from him, each step feeling heavier than ever

the sound of hurried footsteps followed you, but you refused to look back, not when you were this vulnerable. before you could take another step, a gentle hand on your arm prevented you from moving any further.

“y/n, wait.” jeno pleaded, softly tugging your arm to turn you. your teary eyes meeting his gaze.

“let me go, jeno.” you clenched your jaw, forcing yourself not to cry.

jeno’s grip softened, but he didn’t let go. “give me time.”

you blinked at him, caught off guard. “what?”

“i—let me sort my thoughts first, okay?” jeno stared down at you, his eyes genuine. “i don’t what i’m doing. y/n. but i know that when i’m with you, it feels…right.”

“that’s not fair.” you frowned, shaking your head. “it’s not fair to her, and it’s not fair to me.” his words did nothing to ease the ache in your heart.

“i know, but…” his eyes never left yours. “i don’t want to lose you.” 

you let out a bitter laugh, wiping your tears. “you don’t get to have it both ways, jeno. you can’t just keep me on the side while you figure yourself out.”

“i’m not trying to,” he said, stepping closer to you. his hand trailed down your arm to hold yours. your eyes widened, and you grew aware of the fact that you were in public. “please, just—wait for me.”

you opened your mouth to respond, to tell him how unfair he was being. but before you could muster up the words, his lips captured yours in a kiss that was soft but so desperate. the action filled with longing, as if it contained all the words he couldn’t say.

the world faded away as if you were the only people there, and all you could feel was him—his lips on yours. you hated yourself for it, but you couldn’t bring yourself to pull away.

your mouth moved against his before you heard chatter around you, making you push his body off of you. he kept his hand on yours, refusing to let go.

“don’t walk away, yet.” jeno pleaded. “i’ll make things right. i’ll talk to her and figure it out. i promise.”

his words sent a pang through your chest, making you shake your head. “how am i supposed to believe you, jeno? you always went back to her regardless. how do i know this isn’t just another moment you’ll regret?”

jeno pondered for a second, “i’ll be honest with her. i’ll tell her everything.”

“and then what?”

“and then,” he brought your hand up to his mouth, placing a soft kiss on your knuckles. “i’ll come and find you.”

your breath hitched at the sincerity of his voice. you wanted to believe him, but the ache banging against your chest reminded you of the risk. taking a deep breath, you stepped back slightly, breaking his hold on your hand.

“i’ll give you time, jeno.” your voice was soft but firm. “but you need to figure this out, really figure it out, before i can even think about…” you trailed off, unsure about what to label the entire situation.

jeno nodded, determination in his eyes. “i’ll call you, okay?”

and with that, you turned and walked away, your heart pounding with both hope and fear as you left him standing there.

the day had slipped into the evening. jeno walked into the halls of his apartment, the soft glow of the sun casting shadows across the room, reminding him how long it had been since your conversation earlier.

he pondered how he would bring the situation up with karina. no matter how hard he tried, he could no longer bury this secret. his mind kept drifting back to you, to how you looked so disappointed in him, and every time it did, his chest tightened with the thought of how things would never be the same again.

jeno loved karina. every time he closed his eyes, there she was—her face, her smile. she was his anchor, the one thing in his life that he couldn’t discard. they knew each other’s flaws and strengths. they argued, but they always bounced back from it. sure, they had their differences, but they always got through it, finding their way to one another.

i’ve always loved her. jeno thought. that’s how it always was.

but you… you were different.

you were his best friend—the one who knew him. you had been there for him since day one. you experienced life together, laughing over stupid inside jokes, supporting different decisions, and comforting each other through the toughest times. you were his safety net. the person who he knew he could rely on when it felt like the world was against him.

jeno sighed, running a hand through his hair. he had always considered you family—how could he not? 

the thought of losing you terrified him. although he would be lying if he said he hadn’t had these flashes filled with thoughts of you. he’s used to dismissing them; it was you, for fuck’s sake. you had been his best friend for so long that even thinking of you differently felt crazy to him. but now, looking back to everything—the way his heart would race when your eyes met in a crowded room, the way his smile would reach his eyes when you laughed at something he said, the way he could always see you in the back of his mind—it all felt so clear.

realization came crashing down on him. his mind racing with thoughts of you. he thought it was just some passing attraction. but it was deeper than that. you were the only person who made him feel seen, the only one who showed him warmth. feelings he couldn’t even seek in karina, despite the love they shared. it terrified him.

he was too scared to admit it. he could no longer pretend. how could he? knowing a part of him belonged to someone else—someone who was not his girlfriend. 

he felt sick, the guilt gnawing at him. he loved karina… didn’t he? his feelings for you were uncertain, fleeting… wasn’t it?

jeno opened the door to his bedroom, and his eyes widened at the sight.

“karina?” jeno questioned, brows furrowing. “what are you doing here?”

“jaemin let me in.” karina replied abruptly. her arms across her chest, an unreadable expression plastered on her face. she was sitting on the edge of the bed as if she was waiting for hours.

jeno set his things down on his desk before approaching karina. instinctively reaching up to kiss her, but she turned her head, his kiss landing on her cheek.

“what’s wrong, babe?” jeno asked, curiosity lacing his voice.

“you tell me.” karina responded, fishing for her phone in her pocket. a confused expression latched on jeno’s face as he watched her tap away on her phone. she raised her phone and shoved it in his face. “care to explain?”

his heart stopped. the color drained from his face as he stared at the photo she was showing.

it was you and jeno—kissing.

he could tell from your outfits that the photo was taken earlier that day, during your heated conversation near campus.

jeno’s mouth went dry as he racked up a response. “i—“ he stammered, words failing to come out.

“don’t try to lie.” karina interrupted, her brow raising. “winter sent it to me. we both know she wouldn’t fabricate such things.”

jeno’s stomach dropped. of course, they were seen, they weren’t exactly keeping it private. “karina…” he started, thinking of words to say to her.

what exactly do you say at this moment? 

“that’s y/n, isn’t it?” karina scoffed, standing up, her height barely meeting his. “i always knew she was a whore.”

“don’t say that.” jeno’s tone shifted, eyes darkening as his voice got firm.

“what?” karina asked incredulously.

“she’s not a whore.”

“are you seriously fucking defending her right now? she kissed you! my boyfriend!” karina spat.

“i kissed her.” jeno admitted, his gaze all over her face.

karina nearly lost balance at his confession. “you—what!” she exclaimed, a frown forming on her lips.

“i kissed y/n.” jeno repeated, his gaze unwavering. “and it isn’t the first time we kissed.”

“what the fuck are you saying?” karina’s voice cracked, disbelief was written all over her face.

“i slept with her on the night of the retreat.”

karina’s eyes widened. “jeno—“

“i started it. i think i’ve known for a while, but i refused to face it.” jeno couldn’t even fathom the words he was spitting out. “i think i’m in love with her.” he admitted, more

the room fell silent at the weight of his confession. the burden lifted off his chest as he comprehended what he had spilled.

“i can’t believe this.” karina shook her head, a bitter, sarcastic laugh slipping past her lips. “after my friends told me i’m way too good for you. you fucking cheated on me? with some bitch?”

“don’t drag her into this. it’s my fault.”

“fuck you.” karina spat, prodding a finger on his chest. “and fuck her, too.”

karina stormed out of the room, pulling the door wide and loud enough to cause a commotion.

jeno called after her, “karina, wait. i’m sorry!” he followed her through the hall.

“sorry?” karina shot back, spinning around to face him. “sorry you got caught, or sorry you have a homewrecker for a best friend?”

jeno winced at her words. “i’m sorry for what i did.” he replied softly. “for hurting you. you didn’t deserve that.”

karina stared up at jeno, eyes glistening as his previous confession came crashing down on her. “i never want to see you again, jeno.” she said, voice breaking before she turned and walked out, slamming the door behind her.

jeno stood frozen in the hallway—the ghost of their conversation haunting the air.

“dude…” jaemin’s voice cut through the thick silence.

jeno turned to the source of his voice, a sullen expression on jaemin’s face. he was standing in the doorway of his room, clearly having heard the entire conversation.

“jaemin!” jeno exclaimed, completely forgetting his roommate was next door. “did you—“

“you’re in love with y/n?” jaemin cut him off, his expression unreadable. he tilted his head as he looked at jeno. “why didn’t you tell me?” he crossed his arms across his chest.

jeno opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came out. he took a second before letting out a sigh. “i couldn’t—i wasn’t sure.” he admitted.

“did you… sleep with her when we were together?” jaemin treaded lightly, unsure if he wanted to hear the answer.

“no! no, we didn’t.” jeno defended, shaking his head. technically it wasn’t a lie. a little fingering doesn’t count as fucking, right?

“i see.” jaemin nodded, a weary look on his face. “i don’t think i can continue seeing her then.” he frowned, rubbing the back of his neck.

“what?”

“you love her, man.” jaemin sent him a small, sad smile. “i don’t want to stand between you.”

“but you said—“

“don’t get me wrong. she’s beautiful and amazing.” jaemin interrupted, holding a hand up. “but you’ve been there for each other since you were kids. i could never stand a chance.” he shrugged. his expression softening.

jeno swallowed, his chest tightening. he never meant for this to happen. jaemin is one of his best friends, and he had betrayed him. “she likes you, jaems.” 

“but she loves you.” jaemin lifelessly chuckled. he took a step closer to jeno, placing his hand on his shoulder, and giving it a firm squeeze. “go get her, jeno.”

taking a deep breath, jeno smiled at jaemin. he knew what he had to do.

you anxiously stared at your phone, as if guarding it would make a notification pop up.

the entire night had been a blur of pacing around your room. the events of your conversation with jeno are stuck in an endless loop in your mind. you hated feeling this way, as if your heart was at someone else’s mercy.

“come on…” you muttered to yourself, checking your phone once more. nothing. just the same blank lock screen.

you sighed, flopping onto your bed and letting the pillows engulf your head. your chest felt heavy. what took him so long? he said he would fix things—was it a lie? maybe he changed his mind. maybe he—

your phone buzzed, snapping you out of your thoughts. your heart jumped as you grabbed it, only for your heart to sink even deeper. it wasn’t jeno.

it was jaemin.

jaemin: hey, y/n. jaemin: i’m sorry to message so late. jaemin: i think it’s best if we stop seeing each other. jaemin: i’m sorry.

your head began to spin. your eyes scan his message repeatedly, trying to make sense of it.

what? your mind raced. this wasn’t what you expected. why would jaemin reach out? and why was his timing odd?

your fingers danced over the keyboard, thinking of a response. a hundred of questions swirled in your head. was this because of jeno? did something happen between them? did he find out what happened in his kitchen that one night?

you: did i do something wrong?

jaemin replied almost immediately.

jaemin: you deserve someone who can give you their all, and i don’t think i can. jaemin: take care, y/n.

your brows twisted into confusion. his response made you even more curious. his words sounded kind, almost too rehearsed. it was as if something was missing, and you couldn’t figure out what.

you stared at the screen, blinking at his message. your emotions swirling wildly between confusion, frustration, and hurt. and still nothing from jeno.

what the fuck was going on?

another buzz came from your phone. instantly checking it, your confusion growing deeper.

karina: never knew you were into boys who had girlfriends karina: *sent one photo*

holy shit.

you sat up in bed, heart banging against your chest. eyes refusing to leave the photo of you and jeno, openly kissing each other from earlier.

and karina knows.

your hands trembled, throat feeling tight. you dropped your phone on your bed and rushed out of your room. tears blurred your vision as the gravity of the situation finally sank in. you had no idea what to do, the room felt like it was shrinking by the second. you needed someone.

without thinking, you rushed out of your room and ran to chaewon’s. you banged on her door, your knuckles trembling as tears flowed down your face.

the door opened almost immediately, revealing chaewon in her pajamas, her eyes widening as she saw your state.

“y/n? babe, what’s wrong?” she instinctively wrapped her arms around you, her hand caressing the back of your head to console you.

“i fucked up.” you cried out, sniffling against her shirt, but knowing her, she doesn’t mind. “i didn’t—i wasn’t—” you stammered, head feeling light.

chaewon hummed, “hey, hey, it’s okay. slow down.” she pulled away just enough to see your face, “whatever it is, we’ll figure it out, okay?”

“chae, i—“ you gasped, unable to stop the tears from gushing out. “i need to tell you something.”

soon enough, you both sat on chaewon’s bed while she tried to comfort you. you told her everything, sparing no details. she sat silently while intently listening to your spew. from repeating your confession to mark to your encounter with jeno earlier, down to jaemin’s cryptic texts—and finally, the photo karina had sent you. by the time you finished, chaewon had a worried expression from your entire story.

“y/n…” chaewon began, and you flinched lightly. you knew she was serious; she would usually refer to you using endearments or your nickname, but the lack thereof told you she was not in the mood to tolerate your actions. “this is serious. i love you to death, but you fucked up.”

“i know,” you sniffled, wiping away the tears with the tissue she previously handed to you. “i don’t know what to do.”

chaewon let out a deep sigh, grasping your hand in hers. “first off,” she reached up and helped you wipe your tears. “you need to stop beating yourself up. i know you’re in a sticky situation, but falling apart isn’t going to help you figure it out.”

you nodded, even though her words hadn’t completely eased your mind.

“and second,” she continued, voice growing softer. “i know you won’t like it, but you need to stay away from jeno for a while. let him sort his shit out. give him time.”

even though you refused to face it, the weight of her words eventually sunk in. she was right. it would be unfair for you to force jeno to make his decision immediately, especially since he is in a relationship.

after a long night of sobbing in chaewon’s arms. you eventually passed out beside her, with the thoughts of jeno being the last thing you remembered.

lightning struck across the campus as you exited the library, tugging your coast closer in an attempt to shield yourself from the downpour. you silently cursed yourself for forgetting to bring an umbrella today. looking up at the sky, you wondered if you could bolt through the pouring rain.

it has been a week since your last encounter with jeno. it would be a lie if you said you were doing fine. every passing minute made you even more anxious. he had made some efforts to reach out to you—sending you texts, calling your phone, and even talking to your friends to ask and see you. but your guilt was weighed heavier than your longing, and you had convinced yourself that you couldn’t face him. not yet.

you stuck with chaewon’s advice; you gave him space. although you felt like the distance was killing you more than him.

you missed jeno. how could you not? he was your best friend. you were so used to being so close to him that the space between you was foreign. you missed having him over and talking about everything and nothing all at once. you missed hearing his voice and his comforting laugh. a smile crept up on your face every time you looked back at your memories with him, making you feel ridiculous.

it was foolish of you to think that you could sway him into thinking that you were the one for him. he always loved karina and you were afraid that it was what his heart was heading towards.

you tried reaching out to karina. you sent her an text even though you knew words alone wouldn’t be enough to mend the damage. once you saw that your message bounced back, you tried again on another platform, the same thing happened. you realized she had blocked you on every social media app. you don’t blame her, of course. you had to live with the pain you caused her.

you clutched your bag tightly before running out in the rain. your apartment was a ten-minute walk from campus—maybe less if you ran. the cold droplets seeped through your clothes as you hurried along the wet pavement, shivering as the storm grew.

you nearly reached your apartment when a car screeched to a halt in front of you, its headlights glaring through the rain, clouding your vision. your brows furrowed as you used your hand to shield the bright light. squinting as you tried to make out who was behind the wheel through the rain. the car door opened, revealing a tall figure emerging from the driver’s seat.

jeno.

“what are you doing out here in the rain?” jeno raised his voice enough for you to hear him through the sound of the rain hitting the pavement.

“i didn’t have a choice.” you admitted, your voice trembling from the cold and the sight of him. you watched, puzzled, as he left the warmth of his car to stand in the rain with you, water drenching his hair and clothes.

“aren’t you freezing?” jeno questioned, shrugging off his soaked coat and gently draping it around your shoulders.

“aren’t you?” you looked at him with wide eyes. the rain dripping down his face did him justice, he still looked beautiful.

“you’ve been avoiding me,” he said, tone turning soft. deja vu. “why?”

“i thought you needed time.”

“i said i would come and find you.” his eyes locked on yours.

“karina sent me—“

“i know.” he interrupted. “i told her everything.”

your heart sped up. “how’d she take it?”

“we broke up.” he said, the weather matching his tone. “for real this time.”

“oh.”

“oh?” his brows furrowed, taking a step towards you. “that’s all you have to say? oh?”

“well, what do you want me to say?” you frowned. “thank you for breaking up with your girlfriend for me?”

“i didn’t—you know it wasn’t like that.”

“then what is it, jeno?”

“it’s you.” jeno said. even with the rain surrounding him, you heard him loud and clear. “it’s always been you.”

you blinked up at him, stunned, lips quivering.

“i was too blind to see it,” he continued, stepping closer until your chests were nearly brushing one another. “too scared to admit it. but it’s you, y/n. it’s always been you.”

your heart pounded as he raised his hands to cup your face. his gaze was soft and focused on you. only you.

and then his lips were on yours, warm despite the storm. you melted into the kiss, your hands clutching at his soaked shirt as the noise of the rain started to drown out. the kiss was soft but so full of emotion that it left you breathless.

“jeno…” you whispered once you pulled away, his forehead resting against yours. “i missed you.” you admitted, voice trembling.

“i missed you, too.” he mumbled, his lips brushing yours. “i’m not letting you go again.”

“kiss me.”

jeno didn’t hesitate. his lips found yours once again, kissing you softly but quickly turning passionately. his hand copper your cheek as his tongue brushed against your bottom lip, asking for permission. you parted your lips, and he immediately shoved his tongue in your mouth, exploring it with hunger. a soft whimper escaped you as his hands slid down to grip your waist, pulling you closer.

“need you,” he murmured, pulling away lightly. your gaze flickered briefly towards his car, and as if he had read your mind, he took your hand and guided you to his vehicle.

jeno parked the car on the side of the road, grateful that the rain had driven everyone to stay indoors. the windows fogged almost instantly as you both scrambled into the back seat, the heat between you radiating.

jeno’s hand found you once more, gripping your waist as he pulled you onto his lap. your legs straddling either sides of his thigh. he pressed his lips against yours, kissing you like he had been holding back for years. the rain was pounding on the roof of the car, but neither of you cared.

you could barely think, lost in the sensation of his touch as he slid down your coats. your heart beat against your chest once you made eye contact with him. you could make out the sharp lines of his face through the soft glow of the moon. your hand reaching up to caress his cheek, not believing that you had him in your clutches.

“what’s wrong?” jeno asked. “do you want me to stop?”

“no.” you instantly responded, shaking your head. “i just can’t believe it.”

“can’t believe what?” jeno’s lips trailed down your jawline, kissing and sucking on your skin.

“that you’re mine.”

“better believe it, baby. i’m not going anywhere.” jeno chuckled, kissing you again. his lips molded with yours slowly and sweetly. you pressed your body against his, hips instinctively grinding down on him.

“want you so bad.” jeno groaned, his hand reaching down to the hem of your shirt. looking up to you for confirmation, and when you showed no signs of refusal, he lifted the fabric off your body. leaving you in your soaked dark bra. “my beautiful girl.”

you grew shy beneath his gaze, trailing one finger down to the zipper of his jeans. “how bad?” you breathed, toying with his pants, feeling him grow hard below you.

“so fucking bad. i’ve been dreaming of having you again.” jeno admitted, hands roaming your body. reaching behind you to unclasp your bra—which he did effortlessly. once your breasts were on full display for him, he couldn’t help but attach his mouth to your nipple, enclosing his lips around the bud while his fingers circled the other. you moaned, arching your back, pushing your breasts closer to him.

in a swift motion, jeno’s shirt and pants were pulled off him and discarded somewhere in the car. your bottoms and underwear, too, were slid off your body. leaving the both of you breathless and naked.

jeno laid you down on the backseat, carefully trying to maneuver himself between your legs. his gaze on your completely bare body, all waiting and craving for him.

“you’re driving me insane, did you know that?” jeno mumbled, tracing his fingers over your delicate body. from your chest, down to your stomach, and in between your legs. “couldn’t stop thinking of you. no matter how hard i tried, i could always see your pretty face.”

jeno’s fingers ghosted over your entrance, making your breath hitch. his digits toying with your slick, spreading them up and down your folds. “so wet and ready for me, hm?” he teased, watching you squirm from his touch.

“j-jeno.” you whimpered, hips bucking as he circled your clit.

“so cute,” he whispered, almost entirely to himself. he inserted two fingers into your pussy, making you gasp. your hands fly to his shoulder to grip it for support. “you like that, baby?”

“y-yes, so good.” you cried out, making him smirk. he pulled his fingers out ever so slightly before thrusting them in again. keeping his pace steady as your pussy swallowed his digits.

“want to taste your sweet pussy.” jeno said, pulling his fingers off of you before sliding his body to the floor of the car. “sit up for me, baby.” he instructed, and you immediately followed. sitting up while he kneeled in front of you. “good girl.”

jeno wrapped his arms under and over your thighs, pulling your pussy close to his face. he inhaled your scent before darting his tongue out, licking your folds. you moaned out his name as his tongue circled your clit while his fingers returned to your core. he easily thrust his fingers in, curling them just the way you liked it while his mouth relentlessly sucked on your clit.

“oh god.” you moaned. your hand falling to grip his damp hair, tugging on it.

jeno’s rhythm was perfect. his fingers and tongue were in harmony as he pleasured you. you were a trembling mess from his touch, each movement of his threatening your orgasm to come even closer.

“you’re so fucking sweet.” he hummed against you, sending vibrations throughout your entire body. a jolt of pleasure coursing through you as he pressed his tongue flat against your clit, while his fingers increased in pace. “gonna cum for me, baby?”

you nodded, the familiar tight knot forming in the pit of your stomach. with just a few thrusts of his fingers, you came crashing down. you clenched around him as you rode out your high. his pace decreased while his tongue lapped up your cum. you shivered from the sensation, chest heaving from your orgasm.

jeno smiled before leaning up and pressing a sweet kiss on your lips, tasting remnants of your arousal on his lips. “ready for me, baby?”

“hurry up.”

jeno chuckled, taking a seat beside you. “ride me, princess?” he tilted his head, almost in a pleading manner.

you climbed on his lap, supporting yourself on his shoulder while your other hand reached in between your bodies to align his cock with your entrance. you teasingly rubbed the tip of his length against your slit, watching him bite his lip at the sight.

“stop teasing me. i need you so badly,” jeno grunted, his large hands reaching behind your back.

you smiled before sinking down on his cock, mouth falling agape at his size.

“oh fuck.” you whispered once he was fully buried into you. you caught your lip in between your teeth as your walls adjusted to his cock. his hands rubbing soothing motions on your back as he watched you with dark eyes.

“slowly, baby.” jeno assured, pressing a soft kiss on your lips.

you slowly started to bounce on his cock. the sensation was burning but quickly turned into pleasure. you held onto his shoulders as you increase your pace, 

“fuck, fuck.” jeno chanted, head falling against the headrest. “so tight and warm for me.”

whines slipped past your lips with each bounce, the tip of his cock perfectly kissing your cervix.

“s-so big.” you let out, nails digging into his shoulders.

jeno lifted his head, his eyes falling to your breasts, watching as they bounced right in front of his face. his mouth caught one of your nipples, tongue circling the sensitive bud.

the car shook with every movement you made. the window fogging and the scent of sex filling the air. you gasped as jeno’s fingers reached between your bodies, thumb circling your clit. your legs started to burn from riding him, so you sank further and began grinding on him.

“holy shit.” jeno cursed, pulling away from your nipple. his free hand gripping your hip to guide you, pushing you further down on his cock.

“i-i can’t—“you cried, tears forming in your eyes. legs growing weak with every grind.

“you can do it, baby. fuck yourself on my cock like the good girl you are.”

jeno’s words sent shocks through your body, moaning loudly as you chased your high. the stretch of his cock was enough to cloud your vision with stars. feeling lightheaded as you rocked yourself forward, the friction drove you insane.

“fuck, that’s it, baby. almost there.” jeno groaned, his voice deep.

you were cumming in no time as jeno increased his pace in circling your clit. your body squirming as you clenched around his cock. but jeno’s grip didn’t falter, still guiding you to grind your hips and you did. helping him reach his climax.

“shit—i’m gonna cum. where do you want it?”

“inside, jen.”

“fuck, i love you.” jeno grunted, making your eyes widen. with a throaty moan escaping his lips, his cum painted your walls. you gasped as his cock twitched inside you. catching his breath, he placed a kiss on your lips before flashing you a lazy smile.

“what did you say?” you questioned, an evident smile on your lips.

jeno’s grin faltered, a flush of embarrassment replacing his expression. “i love you, y/n.” he repeated more confidently. “i’m sorry it took me so long to realize.”

“i love you, too, jeno.”

relief washed over him as he cupped your cheek, pulling you into a kiss that was slow, sweet, and filled with every unspoken word between you.

in that moment, the outside world ceased to exist. it was just you and jeno, wrapped in a love that had always been there.

“do we have to go?” jeno groaned dramatically, burying himself under your covers as if the mere thought of leaving your apartment was too much to bear.

you couldn’t help but giggle at him. grabbing his shirt from the ground and putting it on. the oversized fabric falling just above your thighs. “yes, jeno. we promised them, remember?”

jeno peeked beneath the comforter, his dark and messy hair sticking up in different directions. his gaze falling to your almost bare state. he sat up to wrap his arms around your waist, pulling you into his lap, making you squeal. “why go to some party, when we could just stay here? in bed? loving each other?”

you playfully smacked his arm, although secretly loving his treatment. “because, baby, we said we’d be there. and besides,” you added, turning to face him with a smirk. “don’t you want to show off your girlfriend?”

the corner of jeno’s mouth lifted into a wide grin. “girlfriend, huh?” his voice laced with pride. “let’s go. but only because i love the sound of that.”

the loud music echoed throughout the house party. you and jeno entered together, his fingers intertwined with yours. as you both navigated the crowd, you spotted chaewon, mark, and haechan all hunched up together near the kitchen.

“y/n! jeno!” chaewon greeted, sending a wave over to the both of you. “what took you so long?” she engulfed you into a hug.

you returned her hug with a laugh. “it’s his fault.” you teased, nodding in jeno’s direction.

“hogging our girl all to yourself, lee?” mark raised a brow, smirking as he took a sip from his cup.

“correction,” jeno playfully glared, wrapping his arm around your waist, pulling you close to him. “she’s my girl.”

“barf.” haechan made a gagging motion, scrunching his face. “can’t believe we lived to see the day these two finally get together.”

“finally?” jeno questioned, a knowing smirk on his face as he faced you.

“y/n had a massive crush on you—” haechan singsong tone was cut short by your swift swat to his arm.

“okay, that’s enough!” you interrupted, dragging jeno away to grab some drinks. “let’s get drunk, shall we?”

jeno chuckled, pulling your body flush against him. he captured your lips into a soft kiss, the chaos of the party fading into the background.

you were looking for a fresh start in a new town, a new area where you would meet new people and new friends. that also meant you would have new neighbors, and oh boy, little did you know the surprise that it would give you. you had absolutely no clue what this new beginning would have in store for you.

the place you were moving into was a slightly spacious yet affordable apartment just for you. the efficient space enough for the small amount of belongings you carried from your car to what seemed to be the living room of your new home.

it had a modern design to it, quiet from the loneliness it had been in from having no owner. you guessed the past owners took good care of it from the substantial condition it was currently in.

when you placed your boxes on the polished wooden floors, a knock is heard on your door, startling you.

quickly, you regain composure and amble to the door. as you open the door, your eyes slowly begin to see the figure that reveals himself once the door is fully open

the tall figure of a man with soft bunny-like features stands lumberingly at your door step, a small container of some sort in his unusually large hands. both of you are silent before he starts speaking with a hint of nervousness evident in his voice. "uh hello... I'm your next-door neighbor and I just made these cookies..." he said, avoiding full eye contact with you, his eyes lingering on anything else in sight. "take them if you'd like." he extends his hands, the cookies inviting as they're each individually wrapped in a cute pink resealable plastic bag to ensure freshness.

hesitantly, you reach for the container, your fingers brushing against his the slightest bit. "thank you... I'll let you know what I think of them."

with a meek and mild nod he made his way back to his apartment. he was right; he was your next-door neighbor, the next door down the hall. before he entered his home he looked back at you, finally able to make eye contact with you, even for a small moment. out of the kindness of his heart, his lips form into a small grin, his dimples now visible to the human eye.

it's an innocent sight, really, so you smile back, heading back into your own home to get yourself situated in the new environment.

you try the cookies once you're done unpacking and surprisingly, they're really good. the sweetness of the still warm chocolate chips compliments the cookie itself that's not too hard and not too soft, the perfect cookie. you make yourself a mental note to thank and compliment him when you see him again.

a few weeks pass by until your next interaction with him. it's the same thing all over again, but this time with more conversation between the two of you.

it was when you were on your way back from work on a gloomy afternoon, the sun not wanting to reveal itself and instead hid somewhere behind the clouds, making the sky dreary and cheerless. your mood was the same as the sky's, exhausted and stressed out from the long day at your workplace. you would be lying if you said the sight of your handsome neighbour didn't brighten your mood.

he was heading out of his apartment and on the way to yours. once again, he had a container of cookies in his hands, the same cute packaging that was the opposite of his appearance. Today he seemed to look even more attractive from the last time you saw him, his hair slicked back probably from running his hands in it so much. the shirt he wore was a navy polo shirt paired with blue jeans. the outfit so simple yet so appealing. you watched his eyes widen when he realizes you're walking up to him.

his demeanour seemed to have switched, a timid look plastered onto his face as you approached him.

"hi, I wanted to thank you for the cookies you gave me the last time we spoke, they were really good..." you speak with a smile, being as friendly as needed to have him soften up from his timorous persona.

"oh right, thank you. I'm glad you liked them," his voice softened at the realization of the compliment, a smile crawling up onto his face. "would you like more?"

you look at the container, the same delicious cookies sat in it waiting for you to take them, how could you say no to him? if anything you're more than happy to have them.

you nod at his question, remembering something. "oh that reminds me, I have the container you gave me last time. I washed it so you don't have to worry about it." you unlock your front door as you speak. "you can come in while I go grab it." you offer and he nods in agreement.

the both of you walk in, him behind you as his eyes dart around your house, examining the small details of your cozy dwelling. the fake plants and flowers that were almost everywhere, small lamps that sat peacefully on their designated spots, or the small cat figures that sat next to the pot with the only real plant in the whole apartment. you seemed like a relaxed human being in his eyes.

while getting the container out of the cabinet you stored it in, he asks you a question. "d-do you mind if I use your bathroom?" you could tell that he hesitated before asking, just the way he spoke displayed the obvious apprehensive character he had.

a small 'mhm' leaves your lips along with the directions of the bathroom, "of course, it's the second door down to the left."

"thank you... " he mumbled softly but not softly to the point where you couldn't hear it. he sauntered his way to the given directions as he disappeared into the hallway, leaving you alone in the kitchen.

after a while, he comes back, seeing you too busy on your phone to notice. you don't look up until he starts speaking, scaring you from the sudden voice. "I'll get going now, thanks again for letting me use your bathroom." his words are followed by a tender smile

you swiftly grab the container, handing it to him. "oh okay have a good day..."

"I forgot to ask your name..." he said, looking at you and expecting an answer.

"it's y/n, my name's y/n"

"I'm soobin. It was nice talking to you again, y/n" he heads to the front door, you follow behind him, not able to fully keep up with his steps and speed because of his long legs. you open the door for him and he steps out, waving politely with the same cute grin.

you wave back and close the door once he's out of sight, turning back to see the new container left on your counter. you'd save those cookies for later.

⸝⸝

after a while, it's dark outside. but not the complete starry sky you'd see at night. it actually wasn't even late, only past 7pm.

this time seemed like a perfect opportunity to finally enjoy the cookies before heading to bed. with that in mind, you made your way back to the kitchen and to the counter. your hands reached out to grab two out of the many cookies.

you began to eat one as you walked back to your room where you would eat and binge watch a show you had been dying to watch all day, excited for the new episode that had just aired.

you situated yourself on your bed and continued to eat, focusing on the show as you chewed happily on the delicious cookies.

after finishing both cookies, you felt as your body became hot, the sensation reaching your core. it was confusing that you were suddenly becoming needy but your hand crept down into your panties. this made you begin to think that maybe it was crazy of you to touch yourself because of nothing, there was no reason you should be doing such vulgar acts.

that was until in the middle of the episode, you hear a groan from the other side of the wall, in soobin's apartment. the groan was followed by more groans and lewd panting. your mind suddenly made the dirty conclusion that he was either having sex or masturbating at the same time as you.

your face heats up at the thought as the sounds continue and you end up listening and touching yourself to his sounds, the show becoming background noise as you continued to rub your clit in fast and rough circles to pleasure yourself.

a loud moan rolls off your tongue accidentally and soobin's noises come to a halt. he probably heard you. you mentally scolded yourself for being so careless of the noises you make, especially the volume of them. you couldn't see it, but you knew that your ears and face were now painted a bright strawberry pink hue from embarrassment.

you removed your hand from your pants but the needy feeling still lingered and you just couldn't get rid of it. it was nearly impossible after you were in the middle of trying to satisfy yourself.

but you tried and tried. tried to keep your hands away from your body. tried to not pay attention to the sounds of soobin that continued, this time they were quieter, but just because he lowered his volume didn't mean the wall was soundproof. you were becoming frustrated by the fact that you couldn't please yourself. you knew that you wouldn't be able to stop once you started. stopping early was probably the best choice, all you had to do was have your brain focus on something else, like your show.

that's what you decided to do. you were almost done with the episode, about ten minutes to the end. you didn't even notice the sweat drops that stuck to your forehead from resisting so much. the lower half of your body squirmed on your bed, you couldn't take it anymore. the feeling of frustration was finally able to overtake your mind and soon all you could think of was soobin and small parts of him that you found attractive; his hands and forearm muscles, how the veins embellished his arms with such beauty, the way his smirk was both cute and hot at the same time, his duality was insane.

with no other choice, you get up from your bed and start making your way to soobin's apartment, only wearing slippers and a short, thin, and threadbare night gown, the one you always seemed to wear to sleep. the breeze of the nightly weather hits your skin, barely covered from the sheer amount of fabric that made the night gown.

you gave his door a light knock, trying not to wake anyone who was potentially sleeping. it took about two minutes for him to open the door. your eyes look at the state of his face. his hair stuck to his forehead just as yours had been and his cheeks were a rosy tint. he wore a plain black tee with gray sweatpants. when you scanned his outfit with your eyes, a small wet spot could be seen from his crotch area.

your face has a surprised look on it from the new discoverment and the shade of soobin's cheeks seems to darken as his hands discreetly move to cover the cause of his embarrassment. "d-do you need something...?" the stutter of his voice backs up the embarrassed look on his face as he avoids eye contact.

it feels like a cat's got your tongue. the heat of your body overtakes you as the only thing you think of is soobin, displayed right in front of you, looking better than ever. lust clouds your brain and eyes, desire badly hidden as you look at soobin, getting closer as your body heat radiates on him.

you speak without thinking, completely oblivious of your words as you blabber out, "I-I need you..."

If soobin's cheeks couldn't blush more they certainly could now. he gazed at the way your thighs rubbed together, your pleading eyes justifying your words. you looked so needy, so submerged in the sensation of desire and it was all shown in your body language. soobin didn't know what to do, you could tell from the way he just stared, the timid expression from when you first met him back on his face and for a good reason. How else was he supposed to react when his pretty neighbor was suggesting something sexual with him?

he loses his train of thought. his pink lips parted as if he were to say something but stopped himself. the longer he took, the needier you grew, you felt your panties dampen more than they already were. before he could even agree, you pushed him and yourself into his apartment, and soobin allowed it. he made sure to close the door behind the both of you and waited for what you'd do next.

he thought you'd say something else or wait for him to get you riled up but instead you kiss him. the kiss is hungry and full of need, soobin could now fully understand the crisis you were really in, how painful it must be not getting the dirty attention you needed.

he pulled away, leaving you to catch your breath as he huffed out lecherously, "my bedroom's the second door to the left, get on the bed. I'll be right there."

hearing his words you didn't hesitate to start making your way to his room, soobin chucked to himself as he watched you speed walk.

when you made it to his room, you hopped on the bed and couldn't help but rub yourself through your panties as you await for soobin, not knowing how much you'd be able to last without getting frustrated or impatient again.

just as you're about to let out a loud whimper, soobin enters, watching the scene in front of him unfold as he sees your eyebrows furrowed and your face contort with pleasure. "you couldn't wait a few seconds, could you? nasty girl..." he walks up to you, getting down to business as he gets on top of you, getting a closer look at your horny expression. "tell me how bad you need me." he demands, placing a fist next to your head while his other hand comes to rest on your hip.

you stopped rubbing yourself to answer the question, knowing not to ignore it. this soobin was different than the soobin you met on your first day in the apartment complex. he was so fierce and demanding now; and you loved it. "p-please... need your cock badly, it hurts being empty..." you confessed, only the truth rolling off your tongue.

he raises an eyebrow in amusement to your response, clearly satisfied by it as you see him holding back a smirk that poked at the corner of his lips. "is that so? I'll have to get you ready for it then, not sure if you'll be able to take me without any prep, hm?" his hand crawls from your hip and to the hem of your night gown, pulling it up above your chest, your pretty lace bra in his view. he swears he could cum just from looking at your breasts. "so pretty..." he mumbles under his breath, his hands working hard to remove your bra and take your nipples between his finger, tweaking and rolling them in a way that had you grind against air. he places a hand on your clothed cunt to stop you, but this only drove you even more insane as you began to grind against his hand. "you're acting like a fucking bitch in heat..."

his remark makes you whine, the needy noise loud enough to echo throughout the room. "I can't take it anymore! please do something...!" your remark only adds more gasoline to the fire as soobin feels himself grow harder by the second.

you gasp as you feel your panties being pulled off, his strong hands removing them with ease. he watches the way your pussy was glistening, and all because of him and what he put in the "innocent" cookies. before anymore could be said, two of his long fingers shoved themselves inside your impatient hole, causing you to shut your eyes and hold in the inappropriate noises that threatened to leave past your lips as he pumped his digits in and out of your hole at a rapid pace, almost too much for you to handle.

you felt a knot reach your stomach as your climax neared. it felt way too fast. this was the fastest you've ever cummed. "a-ah! soobin! g-gonna cum...!" and just before your could release, his fingers removed themselves causing tears to swell in your eyes from the amount of frustration you felt at that moment and you whine in protest.

this adds to soobin's fun, making him laugh and giggle as he watched your face basically plead to him, you didn't have to say it, your face showed it all. "fine... I'll give you what you need. but I don't want you whining when it hurts, got it?" you nod fairly quickly at his words, spreading your legs for him to have better access. he loves how quick you listen to him in your needy state, he feels like he's on top the world having his pretty neighbor in his bed all to himself and no one else.

your eyes lighten up when his finge crawled their way down to the waistband of his sweatpants, finding the loosely tied drawstrings and untying it with ease. you wait with eager as he grabs the base of his dick through his pants before pulling it out of it's confinments. your lips part in shock and you have to stop your jaw from dropping at the sight. his dick is so pretty; the tip is the same strawberry red his cheeks had been when he blushed, the length so long you couldn't believe your eyes, and the girth left you in shock. you regretted not letting soobin prep you because now you knew that the stretch would hurt.

he pulled his shirt off too, his sculpted yet soft abs not matching his cute and innocent face. his forearm muscles flexed as he threw his shirt somewhere on the floor and gripped your hips, pulling you closer to the edge of the bed and closer to his dick. you couldn't deny the fearful look on your face as you stared at the monster that hid in soobin's pants the whole while, scared to see if it'll even manage to fit in your hole that hadn't been stretched in a good while.

aligning his dick with your hole, he could already feel the tightness of your pussy as you clenched around nothing, desperate for him. with much effort, he pushed inside, your walls already gushing as they encompass his dick and he enters inch by inch. a soft moans escapes his lips when he feel the way you fit around him. "fuck baby... so. fucking. tight." he punctuates his words with each thrust, filling you to the brim that it made you dizzy.

only a few thrusts in and you're fucked dumb, gripping the duvet sheets under you as you hold it in your fist and holding yourself back from waking up anyone in the building. your sounds are high pitched, full of the lust that holds inside of you as your climax neared once more, this time not holding back. incoherent blabbles leave your mouth and you see a small menacing smirk tug at soobin's lips.

he chuckles, watching your expressions as his cock pushes deeper inside, hitting all the right spots. "already fucked so dumb, aren't you?" he said, putting you in a mating press as his hips sped up, showing no mercy to your spent cunt. "you were just so oblivious, weren't you? didn't even realize something was in your cookies... " he huffs out in a pant, pressing a kiss to your lips "I'm so glad I got you as my neighbour, baby..."

your confused and pleading eyes meet his in a haze as you question him, "w-what did you... do?" you felt as if you could barely breath from how good you felt, this was the best sex you've ever had in your life. soobin only smirks even more at your question, knowing the exact answer to your curiosity.

"you know what I put... why else would you be feeling so needy, hm?"

and then it clicked in your head, the sudden uneasiness you felt in your core wasn't for no reason at all, why would that ever happen? the cookies were filled with aphrodisiacs, and on purpose.soobin knew what he was doing since he laid eyes on you. from that moment, he knew he wanted you, he just didn't know how he'd do it when he was a timid guy who rarely talked to girl, especially pretty girls like you.

it seemed as if soobin sensed your realization, finding it amusing as he watched your eyes shift in emotions. "there you go, finally figured it out... such a good girl..." this is where soobin felt his balls tighten, knowing what was doomed to hapoen.

grunts left his lips like wildfire as he interlocked your hands even tighter, listening as your noises were easier to get out from how sensitive and overstimulated you had come to be. wet lewd sounds are heard loudly from inbetween your legs and soobin watched as his big dick disappeared inside your small tight cunt with each inhumane thrust, looking at the bulge that formed. one of his hands creeps down to press on it, making you feel as if you were on cloud nine.

"I c-can't- soobin! I need to cum...! pleasepleaseplease let me... " your pleading words seemed to have touched his soul in all the right places as he began to slow down a bit, enjoying the last few seconds before his full release. he kissed you again, tongue invading your mouth in a frenzy as you came on his cock, your moan muffled from the kiss as you grip his hands as if to never want to let go.

he followed suit, burying himself inside of you enough to cum inside of your what felt to be your womb. his seed shot out and painted your walls a thick and sticky coat of white. both of you are left panting for air when he pulls away from the kiss. his now sweaty hair is sticking to his forehead from the intense session while he stays like this with you for a small while, admiring the beauty of your face when and after you orgasm. he couldn't believe he was lucky enough to have you like this, he felt completely moonstruck, completely crazy.

turning you over and holding you tightly in his arms, his voice is sweet like honey as he spoke softly in your ear.

"I hope you don't mind being mine from now on."

“you’re right,” you sigh. “i guess i just don’t understand. things were going so well, and then he goes and does this to me. i don’t know what i did wrong,” you say while burying your face in your hands. he almost can’t control the way his lips want to curl up at this, but he’s become nothing if not a master of containing his true emotions. he’s kept them from your prying eyes for years, after all.

“aww, baby. it’s not you, it’s him. he’s just not the right guy for you,” he coos, but for some reason, you can’t help but be annoyed at his kindness. 

“i know you want to say i told you so, so say it,” you snap, pulling your face from your hands and scowling at him.

“i don’t want —” 

“if you wanted me to learn my lesson, i’ve learned it, alright? i don't need to be taught again,” you say with a huff. you know you’re being unreasonable. you know you’re being a bitch, but you just can’t help it. who told beomgyu to be right about your potential partners all the damn time? fuck his crazy-accurate intuition.

he looks genuinely hurt by your harsh words, though, so you can’t help but feel a wave of regret wash over you. you’re drowning in it, even, as you watch his puppy eyes gloss over.

“beomie, baby, i’m so sorry,” you say, gently grabbing his face with one hand and pushing his long hair behind his ear with the other. “i know i’m being awful to you when you’re just trying to help.”

“it’s okay,” he says solemnly, looking like a kicked puppy. “as long as you’re sorry.” somehow, his easy acceptance of your apology makes you feel even worse. you pull him in for a hug and he buries his face in your neck to a) soak up your scent and b) hide his growing smirk. but you’re too caught up in your feelings to notice.

“it’s really okay,” he assures once you part.

“no, it isn’t. i’m being a shitty friend. how about you stay over tonight? we can watch a movie and i’ll order something for us to eat,” you suggest. he graciously accepts your peace offering and the night is spent with giggles and an overt amount of cuddling.

as you’re drifting off to sleep, you feel beomgyu plant a kiss on your forehead. to anyone else, this might come across as oddly intimate, but you know better. people have said that you two would make a good couple, but you two do nothing but laugh it off every time. they just don’t understand your dynamic. he’s a man like any other, you guess, but seeing him as anything other than a friend is simply laughable. you know he feels the same exact way about you, too, which is why you are unfazed by his next words. 

“i love you. it’s just — i just love you so much, you know?” he whispers.

“aww, beomie. you know i love you, too. you’re my best friend in the whole world,” you murmur as sleep finally overcomes you.

if the lights were on, you’d see how his face falls and contorts into something like a grimace.

-

yeonjun has been spamming you like crazy, so you listen to beomgyu and block his number as well as his social media accounts. you think this whole chapter of your life is over, but, as always, you are wrong.

a week or so after your messy breakup, a sudden knock at your door pulls your attention away from mindless scrolling on your phone. you don't think much of it — it’s probably just beomgyu with some takeout, or something. however, when you look through the peephole, you realize that yeonjun is not finished bothering you just yet. 

“baby, please. i know you’re there. please, just open up. i’ll explain everything!” he pleads. you’re not particularly known for your callousness of heart, so it doesn’t take much more begging for you to feel guilty and let him in. you open your door with a sigh. 

“thank you!” yeonjun says with a look of pure relief as he hurriedly enters your apartment. he takes a seat on your couch (unprompted, you might add) and takes a shaky breath. you cautiously seat yourself on the other end of the couch and prepare to listen to whatever bullshit he has conjured up for your viewing pleasure before you decide that it’s best just to cut to the chase. ripping the band-aid off, and all that.

“look, i don’t care that you’re sorry. there’s nothing you can say to make me change my —” 

“it was beomgyu!” he exclaims before you can get another word out.

“... what?” you ask confusedly. where the hell is he going with this?

“the girl, the picture, fucking everything was all his fucking fault. he did it,” he rants. oh. he must think you’re fucking stupid.

“yeonjun, please don’t waste my time,” you sigh. “i think you should leave,” you add, getting up from your seat.

“wait!” he pleads, reaching for your hand and gently pulling you back down. “remember how i always told you that i had a weird feeling about him? like how something always felt… off?” oh well. if he wants to continue putting on a show, then so be it. besides, it’ll be a funny story to tell beomgyu later on.

you nod.

“well, he always looked at me weirdly. like, whenever i’d walk into the room, there was always this… this tension and i never knew why, but i understood it as soon as we made things official. it’s because he likes you.” you’re silent for a moment and yeonjun actually thinks he’s getting through to you before you burst into near-maniacal laughter. his face falls.

“beomgyu? beomgyu likes me?” you say between giggles. beomgyu loves you like a sister. no way in hell does he harbor a shred of romantic love for you. 

“you’re not listening,” he grunts, slightly tugging at his own hair in frustration. “he’s always been weird, and the other night at the bar, he introduced me to that girl you saw me ‘kissing’. they kept giving me drinks until i could barely fucking see straight. then she kept coming onto me, but i said no. i finally told her to kick rocks, but the next thing i knew was that she was kissing me. i know it sounds crazy, but you have to believe me.” you want to dismiss everything he’s saying, but his utter sincerity seems to strike a chord within you. you can’t say you believe him, but he continues before you can properly digest his words.

“think about it. why the hell would i cheat in such a public place where all of our friends hang out? don't you think i would be smarter than that? and even if i wasn't, you know me. you know i would never cheat on you.” he seems desperate now, but it’s still hard to believe that beomgyu orchestrated this entire thing instead of the very real possibility that yeonjun just got drunk and acted recklessly.

“alright, this isn’t funny anymore. you need to stop,” you warn, not liking how much he’s making sense.

“think,” he repeats with conviction.

so you do. you think back to all of the tumultuous relationships you’ve had until now. they've all ended in different ways, yes, but they all had one common denominator: beomgyu. oh, beomgyu saw your boyfriend getting cozy with his ex. you’re having an argument with your boyfriend? beomgyu thinks he’s a piece of shit because of how he treats you, you obviously deserve better! wait, your boyfriend keeps taking too long to text you back? he’s just losing interest! it’s clearly better to break it off now rather than getting too invested when you’re inevitably going to break up, anyway. and all the other greatest hits. your face twists from focused to horrified as the realization sinks into your bones. it's beomgyu. it’s always been beomgyu. 

you look to yeonjun with pure shock in your eyes and he meets your gaze with a look of sympathy. you finally get it. 

“junie, i’m so sorry,” you say, tears springing into your eyes. “i’m so sorry i doubted you.” 

“it’s okay,” he replies with a melancholy smile. “he manipulated you.” 

“does… does that mean we’re back together now?” you ask, voice tinged with hope. his smile falters at your question, and you feel a sense of dread.

“i need some time,” he says after a pause, dropping his hand from yours. “you really hurt me. i understand that beomgyu manipulated you, but it really hurts that you didn't trust me, you know?” 

“i understand,” you quietly reply. you’d be hurt if the tables were turned — it’s only natural. you just hope to god above that you haven’t let beomgyu ruin another good thing for you.

-

beomgyu is confused as to why you’ve been ignoring him for the better part of a week. you don’t respond when he texts or calls, and his intuition is telling him that it has something to do with yeonjun. maybe you’re just shutting down because of the breakup? it was particularly brutal this time around, after all. he’s lucky that yeonjun has such a lascivious sexual history, or else you might not have bought his little charade, even with the proof presented directly in front of you. that’s how much you love(d) yeonjun. the thought causes jealousy to rear its ugly head in his stomach, but whatever. there’s no way you’re going back to him after the way the scandal has made its way through your social life. even if you do want to get back together with him, there's no way your pride will let you. your pride has been a particularly nasty sort of obstacle in beomgyu’s pursuit of you, but it’s absolutely delicious to be able to use it against you like this. serves you fucking right.

still, it’s his job as your dutiful best friend to cheer you up. with this in mind, he picks up your favorite takeout and heads to your place. he smiles when he imagines the way you’ll gratefully embrace him once you realize that he’s here for you. maybe this time you’ll understand that he’s always been the one who’s there for you when someone hurts you. maybe this time will be his big break, finally freeing him from the purgatory he has been in for god knows how long.

he knocks on your door with a hopeful smile on his face. surprisingly, you’re swinging the door open mere seconds later with your eyes similarly lit up with hope.

“yeon— oh. it’s you,” you say, deflating immediately. there’s a certain sense of resentment in your tone that he catches onto, but he chalks it up to disappointment. his face falls. goddamn it. damn it all to hell.

“i brought you some food to cheer you up,” he says while shaking the plastic takeout bag, completely ignoring the slip of another man’s name. 

he invites himself in, slipping off his shoes and sitting down on the couch as he usually does. 

he waits for you to join him, but when he looks up at you, all he sees is you staring at him, arms crossed and face contorted in anger. surely you can’t be that upset that he’s not yeonjun, right? now that he thinks about it, why would you be expecting yeonjun, anyway? hadn’t you effectively cut him off? did you talk to him and take him back after all that (you think) he’s done? that can’t be right. unless… unless you actually let him talk to you. oh god, please tell him that’s not what happened.

“what’s wrong?” he asks, face devoid of anything deeper than curiosity and worry. 

you’re silent for a moment before you carefully choose your next words.

“i talked to yeonjun,” you reply, and his heart sinks to his stomach. “he told me some… interesting things.”

beomgyu hopes you don’t notice how hard he gulps. you do not.

“what did he say?” he asks, face tense but still showing no clear signs of guilt. 

“he told me what happened that night. he told me how you got him drunk and basically forced that girl onto him. he also said that you’re the reason none of my relationships work out,” you declare, opting to stop beating around the bush and just get some answers. you study his face for a crack of some sort, but there is none.

“and what do you think?” he asks quietly.

“i think… i think he might be telling the truth,” is what you say, but you’re sounding increasingly unsure with every word because beomgyu looks more hurt than you’ve ever seen him.

“you believe him over me?” he asks, voice cracking and lips trembling with his brown eyes glossed over in what you can only describe as devastation. god, either beomgyu’s a really good actor, yeonjun’s a really good actor, or you’re just fucking stupid.

“i… i don’t know what to think, beomgyu,” you whisper after a pause. all he does is nod before his next words pierce your heart.

“is that why you’ve been ignoring me?”

jesus christ. you were so sure that yeonjun was telling the truth when he told you about beomgyu, so ignoring him only seemed natural under the circumstances, but he looks every bit like the victim in light of your accusations. his trembling lips and wounded gaze make you want to strangle yourself for ever doubting him. as you feel yourself being consumed with remorse, though, you remember the sincerity and desperation in yeonjun’s words. maybe this was all a huge misunderstanding? maybe they’re both convinced that they’re right? 

“y-yes. i’m sorry. i was just confused. maybe he just misunderstood?” you babble. he likes your hesitancy, but it’s still wearing on his patience. as much as he wants to say he can’t believe that you’d question him because of some guy you dated, he can believe it when it comes to you. you always, always, always hurt him like this, and he’s had just about enough.

“and what if it’s true?” he asks, pathetic facade wiped clean off of his face while something more somber replaces it entirely. your eyes lock with his and you’re stunned silly. 

“what?” is all you can manage to reply with. 

“what if i pushed that girl onto yeonjun? what if i ruined all of your relationships? what would you do?” 

“so it’s true?!” is all you can say, guilt flaring into sheer rage and hurt. 

“so what if it is?” he asks, as if he doesn’t comprehend how twisted this is.

“so… so how could you do that to me?!” 

“i was only doing what’s best for you,” he impatiently replies. “they were only gonna hurt you, can’t you see that? even before i did anything, there were still all those men who cheated on you, lied to you, used you. what’s wrong with wanting to protect you from people like them? i just couldn’t stand to see you living like that!” he argues, clearly believing he’s completely justified in all of this.

sure, you’ve been hurt before even without his intervention, but that doesn’t mean he can just play puppeteer in your love life to “protect” you from anything similar happening ever again. you trusted him and he manipulated you. he acted like a knight in shining armor this entire time while knowingly sabotaging any potentially good thing that could come your way. and he did it all because he wants to protect you? bullshit. 

“you know, i thought that even if everyone other man in the world could hurt me, you never would,” you say shakily, either from sadness or anger. maybe both. “i guess i was wrong.”

“hurt you?! hurt is watching the person you love fuck other people over and over and over again! hurt is watching you laugh me off and never even fucking considering me as an option, goddamn it!” he yells while slamming his hand on your coffee table. 

“so your solution was to fuck up every relationship i have just to have me to yourself?! do you not realize how fucked up that is?!” you yell back, trying to appear unfazed by his increasingly enraged behavior. he seems to falter at this, genuinely at a loss for words at your unforgiving pinpointing of his erratic actions. the desperate, eager-to-please beomgyu you know all too well is finally back and you feel your confidence surge because of it.

“i only did that because —”

“why? because you love me? or think you do?” you mock with a hollow laugh. “you don’t purposely ruin the life of someone you love.” he looks genuinely wounded by your words. 

“but i —”

“i don’t care. get out,” you say mercilessly. you’re absolutely through with listening to his fucked up ideations about love and what his twisted moral compass deems as justified because of it. you’re so preoccupied with preaching on your soapbox, you don’t even realize his attitude has once again shifted from the compliant beomgyu to the one you don’t recognize at all. 

“... no,” he says flatly. 

“did you not fucking hear me? i said get out,” you repeat through clenched teeth. normally, your raised hackles would be enough to scare him off, so you figure he’ll tuck his tail and leave right about now. oh, how wrong you are.

“are you deaf?” he asks with a sneer. “i said no.”

“what do you mean, no?” you ask. somewhere in the depths of your mind, alarm bells begin ringing, but it’s far too late to heed them. plus, you’re still under the impression that he’ll bend to your will. 

“oh, so you’re not deaf. just stupid,” he snorts. your jaw is agape at his audacity. beomgyu has caught an attitude and gotten fresh with you before, sure, but nothing like this. to say you’re dumbstruck would be to put things in the mildest of terms. you can barely get out your next sentence.

“w-what do you mean?” 

“i’m not leaving this apartment,” he says firmly, and before you can even ask him to explain, he’s dragging you away with a painful grip.

“ow! beomgyu, you’re hurting m—” 

“shut up. i told you what real hurt is, but you're not fucking listening. i don't want to hear another word come out of your mouth,” he says in a monotone voice. if the alarm bells were ringing in the depths of your mind before, they’re absolutely blaring at the forefront of your brain right now. 

“what are y-you —”

“i thought i told you to shut up,” he snaps before roughly grabbing your face and planting his lips on yours. the kiss is crude. it’s absolutely vulgar with the way it’s all tongue and teeth and saliva, but after a few seconds of uncertainty, you find yourself melting into it. this is wrong. you two are the best of friends, almost like brother and sister. and more than that, you love yeonjun, right? you’re supposed to be working on getting back together with him, aren’t you? but your reason starts to be sucked away as you feel his hands caress your body, leaving nothing but fire in their wake.

you don’t know how you got here, almost completely naked as you lay on your back while beomgyu continues attacking your lips. it’s blazing hot and you can’t help but feel your underwear becoming wet with every moan that escapes his mouth and consequently reverberates onto your tongue. as if he already knows the intricacies of your internal battle, one of his hands finds its way to your now soaking wet pussy and he uses his index and middle fingers to spread the slickness around. he swirls his fingers around your hole and just barely pushes one of them into the entrance. you gasp at the shallow intrusion and you can feel his notorious shit-eating grin pressed across your lips as he feels how tight you are. you’re ridiculously turned on and he knows it. he pauses his actions only to unzip his pants and yank them down to his knees. your eyes widen at what you can only describe as his huge appendage, all reddened and already leaking. you feel your cunt throbbing with even more need at the sight, but your last shred of reason still makes you hesitate.

“beomgyu, we can't… we're friends, and yeonjun is —”

“can’t you just let me make you feel good? god, you’re making this so difficult, but what the fuck else is new,” he growls. 

he's right. you are making things difficult. there's no way of salvaging your friendship after this, so what's the point in holding back now? you realize that while he may be absolutely unhinged, his feelings for you are real. do you reciprocate them? you don’t know yet, but the thought of him doting on another person the same way he dotes on you makes you feel uneasy. as for yeonjun? well, he deserves better than the cesspool of turbulent emotions that you currently find yourself in. 

“you still sure you don’t want me?” he asks cockily. you, with all of your pride, can only muster up a feeble shake of your head. he knew the answer before you gave it to him, but his condescending gaze shows you that your words have scratched a certain itch of his.

he rubs his hardened length against your folds and it’s all you can do to resist locking your ankles around his waist and pulling him into you, but something stops you. protection. you don’t even have to say it, because he knows you too well for your own good.

“let me fuck you raw,” he says breathily, just barely poking his length into your tight hole. “i know you need it, baby. just let me take care of you.” you’re silent for a moment before pinching out your next words.

“p-pull out?” he won’t because he knows you’ll be begging him for his cum when he’s done with you, and you already know he won’t, even when he nods and promises he will. you don't know why you even asked. 

the ache you feel to have him buried inside you is quickly replaced by the ache you feel once he begins to stretch you out. it’s a stinging, burning sort of pain, but that’s nothing in comparison to the pure pleasure you feel as his flared tip drags along your walls. he begins with thrusting shallowly, fucking you open like you’re a virgin, and you’re so tight while he’s so big, you might as well be. 

painfully slowly, he pushes each and every inch of himself into your gummy hole. he reaches places you didn’t even know existed and stretches you open so good all you have the brainpower to call the sensation is fullness. overwhelming fullness. when he finally sheathes himself in you completely, a strangled cry leaves both of your throats as you feel him throbbing inside of you and he, in turn, feels you pulsating around him. 

after you adjust, you expect him to start drilling into you with reckless abandon, but he does nothing of the sort. just watches you with a strange look on his face. 

“b-beomie? what are you doing?” you ask pathetically, head raising up from its place on the pillows to meet his wanton gaze.

“beg me for it.”

“beg for w—” your question is interrupted by a sharp smack on your sensitive pussy. 

“beg me for it. beg me to fuck you like a whore. i won’t tell you again,” he says menacingly. your bleary eyes are so confused, so stupid, and so, so cute, but he’s determined to use the last of his self-control to get you to feel even a fraction of the desperation he’s felt for years. well, even if you don’t, he’ll spend the whole night fucking you dumb until you do. but you’re so hungry for his dick, you don’t even realize that he’s bluffing.

finally, you understand what he’s asking of you, and you waste no time to comply. 

“n-need your cock, beomie. need you to make me f-feel good,” you say, trying to retain even a semblance of your dignity. this brings a mean smirk to his face, but he’s not done with you, yet.

“surely you can do better than that?” he taunts, rocking his hips ever so slightly so you can feel every inch of his length and girth teasingly hitting your cervix, but providing no relief. fuck your dignity. you need him.

“please! please, i need you! need your cock to fill me up!” you whine.

“mhmm, and?”

“need you to fuck me! need you to fill me up with your cum!” well, there goes your resolve to have him pull out. this seems to satisfy his sadistic desires.

“oh, my love. all you had to do was ask,” he says with a grin. and that’s when he starts. 

his hips meet yours in the most punishing way, and that’s what this is: a punishment for the way you’ve treated him all these years. you can feel it in the way that his fingernails dig into your skin and in the way that he mercilessly presses down on your tummy until all you can feel is pressure building up to something unknown.

“who else can fuck you like this? who else can split you open like this?” he asks as lewd squelches reverberate throughout the room. 

“n-nobody! only you, beomie!” you cry.

“that’s my good girl, such a good girl. baby just needs me to use her like a fucktoy, right?” and all you can do is whine and clench in carnal need as the poor springs of your bed squeak with every unforgiving thrust.

“oh, you like that, don’t you?” he snickers. “you like being my little whore. you’re just a toy for me, alright? free to use whenever i feel like it.” you nod in agreement and he lets out a chuckle as he pounds into you at an unimaginable speed, balls slapping your ass with every fiery thrust. each time he pumps into you, your pussy’s clamping down on him and sucking him in like that’s where he’s meant to be. and maybe it is. 

“god, i’m close,” he groans after pumping into you for what feels like hours, and you whimper like a bitch in heat. “honey, don’t worry,” he tuts. “i’ll fuck you every day, i’ll fill you with my cum so you can’t leave. not that you’ll want to after this. you’re made for me, made to be my cumdump whenever i want.” 

“y-yes!” you shriek, somehow liking the idea of being full of his cum forever and ever. 

“that’s my girl. baby just wants me to fuck her good. that’s all you needed, right? that’s why you’ve been such a brat. you just needed me to show you what it’s like to be fucked right,” he says, rolling your clit for good measure, which is enough to make you reach your high as it comes crashing down around you. beomgyu wasn’t lying when he said he was close, so when he feels you clenching around his big cock as if you’re milking him for all that he’s worth, you feel it twitching before hot bursts of cum paint your inner walls until you’re leaking white and seeing stars. he continues with slow, lazy pumps until he softens. you stay like that for an indeterminable amount of time, breathing raggedly while your bodies are overcome with thrums of delight. 

when he finally pulls out and lays down beside you, bodies slick with sheens of sweat, he pushes your hair back behind your ear and plants a kiss on your temple. shakily, he takes his hand and rubs it along your distended tummy, full of his cum. he lovingly strokes it with an awed smile on his face.

“such a good girl for me,” he repeats. “i can’t wait until you’re pregnant. you’ll have as many babies as i can give you, right?” and all you can do is nod deliriously. he smiles in satisfaction as you eagerly agree to his every nasty, perverted thought. “god, i love you so much. and you love me too, right? say it. say you love me.”

“i love you.” and you realize that you do.  this man is deranged, but he’s yours, and for better or for worse, you're his. especially now that you might very well be carrying his children. and even if you aren’t, you know he’ll make good on his promises to keep fucking you until you are. should you be glad that he effectively ruined every potential relationship for you? you were unsure before, but you realize that nobody has or ever will love you as much as he does, even if he has a demented way of showing it. well, it is what it is. there’s no way out after this.

notes pt. 2: i hope this goes over better after the editing!

taglist: @my313 @superbbananananana @lonelybutterflytae @cherrycolaberry @midwinterblizzard @everythingvirgoes @sooberryworld @20-cms @inkigayocamman @hyueika @boba-beom @vicurious28 @blossommi @lickingan0rchid @katsukis1wife @binniebakery @notevenheretbh1

he swore he’d just stand in the back with his arms crossed the whole time, watching old men with their bellies out (and some married ones) oogling and drooling over younger girls in sailor tops and frilly skirts. 

sunoo basically grabbed him by the sleeve after class, eyes sparkling like he’d won lottery tickets (even though riki was sure it’s easy to get in, considering how there’s practically no demand for the idols to perform)—going on about how much he wants to support his friend and her raising fame!

so now riki’s here, crammed shoulder–to–shoulder in a room that smells like beer, hairspray, desperation, and sweat with colourful penlights waving way too close to his face. he feels like the only sober person at a cult meeting.

“minna—! let’s have some fun!”

the lights drop and the backing track starts. and then you—run out (tiny breathless, pastel skirts bouncing) and the entire room almost explodes. riki’s first thought is that you’re smaller than you look on the stage, and it looks like the thousands of layers of fabric you’re wearing might pull you down. 

his second thought is that your smile is so bright and cheerful it almost seems unfair—and how utterly, stupidly adorable you are when you wave both hands at the crowd, voice cracking a little on the first, “konban–wasshoi!” because you’re clearly still catching your breath. 

you just hopped once, twice, skirt flaring out like a parachute and looked straight into the crowd with those huge glitter–lined eyes and yelled, “minna! are you ready to fall in love tonight?” 

and forty voices behind him scream back yes and somehow, against every single ounce of his better judgement, riki’s lips twitch into the tiniest, most traitorous smile.

his third thought is—oh fuck, sunoo’s already shoving a 1000–yen cheki ticket into his hand, whispering, “you like her, right? you’ll thank me later!” while the first song hasn’t even hit the chorus yet.

so now here he is. standing in line. he’s next in line.

you’re kneeling on the edge of the low stage, skirt pooled around your knees like spilled strawberry milk, wiping sweat from your neck with a tiny pink towel. the second guy in front of him steps away—you look up, eyes still sparking under the cheap coloured light, and you tilt your head.

“eh? new face?” your voice is softer compared to during the live, sweet but tired. you’ve been screaming lyrics and thank–yous for three hours straight. 

you lean forward a little, elbows on your thighs, studying him openly. 

“i’ve never seen you around before,” you say, smiling like it’s a secret. “is this your first time at marble? first time seeing me?” the way you say me makes something in his stomach flip.

riki only manages a nod. words suddenly feel too big for his mouth.

he’s seen idols with millions of fans before—backstage, in the street, complimenting them on twitter—and yet, you… the so–called–idol with no name, no wiki page, no tv appearances, no nothing, small fanbase—got him doing somersaults in his stomach.

a girl whose entire world fits inside this sweaty shinjuku basement…

“cute!” you laugh softly, already passing the instax camera the staff hands you. your fingers are still trembling from the encore high. 

“what’s your name, hm?”

riki swallows the lump in his throat. “um… riki…” 

you beam, clasping your hands together. “cute!” you giggle, looking up to him underneath your pretty curled lashes. “well… ki–tan! what kind of pose do you want?” you tilt your head, the fat pastel ribbons in your hair brushing across your flushed cheeks like cotton candy floss.

he opens his mouth. nothing comes out. his brain is static.

“u—uh, what do they usually do…?”

you hum, bottom lip puckering out in the cutest pout he’s ever seen. “hm… they really like hearts,” you say, tapping the marker against your mouth thoughtfully. “or cat paws… or peace signs… but since you’re my first ki–tan ever…”

your eyes light up.

“i’ll give you the super–secret yn–chan special, okay? only for people i decide are extra cute on their first day~!”

his eyes widen a little and he nods, throat dry in nervousness. before he can ever process that sentence, you’re already moving—scooting forward until your frilly skirt brushes his legs, reaching up with both hands and gently—so gently—grabbing the strings of his hoodie.

you tug them once, playful, then loop them around your own fingers so the drawstrings cross between you like a heart. then you lean in, closer and closer—until the ribbons in your hair grazes his collarbone and riki has to bend down—

until your breath fans warm across his lips, until the tiny glitter stars stickers on your cheeks blur into galaxies.

one more shift and you’d be kissing him in front of forty people and the staff girl. 

your eyelashes flutter. you stop exactly there—so close his on lips part on instinct—and hold it. 

hold it.

hold it.

just when riki thought it’s over, you angle your face just enough that your cheek brushes the corner of his mouth instead—a ghost of contact that lasts half a heartbeat longer than innocent.

click.

flash.

the shutter sound cracks through the basement like a gunshot. 

“gotcha!” you whisper, voice barely audible over the blood roaring in his ears. the photo develops and the staff hands it to you—two faces filling the entire frame, noses almost touching, hoodie strings forming a heart around you both, your lips just barely off his.

you pull back just enough to beam up at him, still holding his hoodie strings hostage. “perfect,” you whisper, eyes sparkling. “my ki-tan looks good in photos ♡”

he’s still non–verbal, heart thumping in his chest as he watches you let go on to scribble furiously on the border while the picture develops with your glitter pink marker pen—

(to ki–tan ♡

starting today, you’re my special one, okay?

 i’m not letting go~

———from, your yn–chan)

you cap the marker with your teeth, then hold the photo out with both hands a tiny bow. “here you go, ki–tan!” riki accepts it with both hands, slightly shaking. you giggle, tilting your head. “please keep it well! oh—and don’t shake the pola! it’s just a myth~”

he nods, wetting his lips. “th—thank you, yn–chan…”

you glance around quickly, then lift your pinky toward him. 

“promise me you’ll come to the next live? it’s in two weeks. i’ll be lonely if my ki–tan isn’t in the front row.”

he hooks his pinky with yours without thinking. the second your fingers touch, it feels like static shock. “o—okay, i promise.” he smiles, squeezing your pinky with his’. you grin, bringing the joined pinkies to your lips and press a tiny, soft kiss to your own thumb, eyes never leaving his. 

“promise sealed.” you murmur against your skin, then let go way too soon.

“see you soon, ki–tan,” you sing-song, waving with tiny finger wiggles.  “i’ll be waiting!”

he bows automatically, turns, walks down the narrow stairs. 

the only thing in his head now is a single, calm, crystalline thought lopping louder and louder with every step he takes away from you—

you’re his now. 

he made a promise.

you sealed it with a kiss.

no one else gets to have that.

in two weeks—

riki will be in the front row.

he’ll be at every live after that.

because you promised.

and promises are forever.

oh—jake isn’t your usual dentist. you were informed that she took a leave today. 

“that’s alright,” he says, lowering the backrest with a soft mechanical whir. “just lean back for me,” he instructs. you obey, hands gripping the fabric of your pants as the ceiling light comes into view. 

“—yeah, that’s perfect…”

jake adjusts the overhead light so it doesn’t shine directly in your eyes, the brightness haloing his dark brown hair instead.

“need you to take deep breaths for me, alright?” he murmurs, glancing down at you. “i’ll walk you through everything.”

he waits until you nod before putting on his gloves, the faint snap of latex punctuating the stillness of the room. there’s something oddly comforting about his voice, so low and so smooth—so calming…

the stool creaks slightly as he rolls closer, adjusting the height until he’s somewhat level with you. “alright,” jake says gently. “let’s start with a quick look.” 

you nod, lips parting slightly in anticipation. 

“open up for me,” he murmurs, tone calm. you obey, parting your lips as the overhead light glows softly above. “good,” he says, voice quiet. “a little wider—yeah, just like that.”

the metal mirror glints as he brings it close, slips past your lips, cool against the warmth of your mouth. he works carefully, movements steady as he’s done this a million times before. the faint tap of the instrument against your teeth fills the silence, followed by the gentle sound of his breath behind the mask.

“you’re doing really well,” jake murmurs, glancing briefly at you before focusing again. “you’ve got really nice sets of teeth, huh?” he chuckles playfully. you suppress a smile, pinching the hem of your top instead. 

“try to relax your tongue for me—there you go.” 

he checks each tooth, pausing every now and then to let you rest your jaw. but your thighs press together, and you pray the sterile and overhead lights humming drowns out the hitch in your breathing.

jake pauses.

the explorer stills against your enamel. slowly, he straightens—just enough for his gaze to flick to you. your knees are locked, ankles crossed. 

“nervous?” he asks again, softer now. you swallow the lump in your throat, your throat bobs just under his wrist. “mmhm,” you manage, looking away shyly, cheeks burning. your thighs are rubbing against one another, and god, you hope he doesn’t notice it.

jake responds with a hum, placing his explorer down. instead, it’s replaced by the slow drag of his thumb along your low lip, parting them. he traces the plush curve, once, twice—before pressing gently inward. 

your mouth parts on instinct, breath hitching.

the pad of his thumb slips past your teeth, deliberately until it rests on the flat of your tongue. saliva pools instantly, you taste the faint rubber and latex taste to it—bitter. 

“hold still, girl,” 

his middle finger joins the first, sliding along the slick muscle, pressing down just enough to make your jaw ache sweetly. you feel the stretch, the wet heat, the way your tongue curls reflectively around foreign objects. 

a soft, involuntary noise vibrates in your throat.

jake’s pupils are blown wide, the professional brown of his irises swallowed. his other hand rests on your cheek where he grounds himself from pouncing on top of you. “hurt?” he murmurs, voice gracel–rough as his eyes remain on your tongue around his digit. 

you try to speak but it comes out a muffled whimper. your hips roll to nothing—chasing friction that isn’t there yet… 

“use your words, sweet. or gesture.”

you shake your head.

so his fingers slid deeper, curling gently, testing how much you’ll take. the glove grows slick from your saliva. slowly, jake begins thrusting his fingers inside your mouth—in and out, back and forth—as you slowly bob your head, engulfing his fingers. 

“damn…” he murmurs softly, cock throbbing beneath his slacks. his fucking glove is in the way, it’s ruining the experience for him. but he couldn’t act like he didn’t want you the second you enter the room.

you’re sure a wet patch is staining the chair, and you can’t stop rubbing your thighs together, pussy beginning to twitching. jake finally eases his fingers free, a thin string of saliva follows, snapping against your chin.

he doesn’t wipe away.

instead, he leans in until his forehead almost touches you, breath fanning across your wet lips.

“i’ve always wanted to see,” jake swallows, pecking your lips softly before getting up, the stool pushed behind him. “...what palatal petechiae looks like.” he continues, almost to himself. “you know? those tiny red dots, burst capillaries.” he goes on, the nerd in him kicking out.

jake deliberately unbuckles his pants, the fabric sagging. “dentists can tell if someone has given head before,” he murmurs, sliding his pants, alongside his boxer—where his hard, throbbing cock springs free, a white bead oozes out of the tip, casting shadow over your face from the overhead lights. 

gosh, it’s fucking huge—and it looks so good.

“but lucky you, i’m your dentist.” he wraps his hand around his cock, where he gives it a pump. a slow, crooked smile etches across his face. “means i won’t chart it. won’t tell a soul, you don’t have to worry about a thing.” 

he leans in, the mushroom head ghosts warmly over your wet lips. 

“open up,” 

you part your lips softly, wrapping them around the head of his cock—lolling and rolling your head around the mushroom, you lick off his precum with the tip of your tongue. jake lets out a soft groan, tipping his head. 

his hand comes to rest on the top of your head where he gently holds you still to push his cock in deeper. “fuckkkk,” he groans, feeling your saliva engulfing inches by inches. you let out a soft moan, body tensing, thighs pressed together in hopes it could stop leaking out juices and staining your pants.

noticing, jake chuckles softly before sliding his hand down and underneath your pants, rubbing your wet cunny over the thin fabric. you whine around his cock, the vibration sending chills down jake’s spine. 

you take jake deeper inside your mouth, bobbing your head back and forth as much as the position allows you to. jake’s hand slips underneath your panties where his glove comes into contact with your bare, wet pussy. 

the rubber slides between your slit, jake uses his middle finger to flick your little clit, the rest of his fingers rubbing your cunt. “mhh,” you muffle, bringing one hand up to massage his hanging balls. 

jake begins thrusting and fucking your mouth, rubbing your head and caressing your hair like he’s doing you a favour—his middle finger teasingly dips at your entrance before he pulls back, rubbing circle the little hole. 

the tip of his cock hits the back of your throat, marking red that he just can’t wait to see later. his mark on you—caused by him. he rock his hips in rhythm, fucking your sweet mouth as he finally inserts his finger inside, the rubber coated with your slick sliding easily inside. 

it helps that you’re so needy too, saves jake the time to prep you loose. he pumps his finger back and forth, his thumb pressing down on your clit. “fuck, that’s good baby, that’s good,” he moans, his balls slapping on your chin.

you rock your hips against his palm too as jake slips inside another finger, fingering and stretching you full with two fingers. they curl inside your pussy, pressing on your soft, gummy, sensitive spot as your walls clamp around them.

“shit, that’s so good,” jake examines people’s mouth for a living, but fuck nothing has ever come close to this. your mouth is so warm, so wet, so perfect—every dentists’ dream—but this one belongs to jake.  

“like that, yeah, roll your tongue,” he instructs and you obey, rolling your tongue around his shaft as he fucks your mouth like pussy. jake buries his fingers inside of you, only moving and wriggling and scissoring with no exact rhythm of thrusts to it. 

you’re so wet it’s crazy—your slicky pussy making squelching noises alongside his latex glove. jake embeds his cock inside your mouth, the curve of his cock fits nicely in your larynx. “shit, fuck—” he rasps, rolling and short–thrusting his cock down the tunnel. 

your pussy walls contracted around his fingers, toes curling, hands gripping the sides of the chair.  “‘m gonna cum, ‘m gonna cum, fuck,” he picks up his pace fingering you as he feels himself getting close to the edge. 

you, too, feels the pressure building up. 

his thrust carries him to his release—unloading and shooting ropes of milky, warm, thick semen down your throat. you muffle, hips trembling as you squirt, alongside releasing milky orgasm around his fingers. 

your body arches as you automatically swallow down your dentist’s cum. 

“mmh—!”  you whimper, feeling jake pumping his fingers in your puffy, overstimulated cunt. “fuck, fuck, just like that,” he rasps, slowly pulling out. there’s a string of him semen hanging from the tip to your lip. 

jake uses his hand on your head to jerk himself off, the other hand rubbing your pussy messily. he squeezes out and milks himself on your tongue, painting the surface white. you pant, sticking out your tongue to receive it like the good girl you are. 

once he’s done, he groans, limping. jake pulls out his hand from your panties, warm and completely soaked with liquids. 

“fuck…” he pants, dropping on the stool as he gathers his breath. you huff, chest heaving as you lick around your lips. jake chuckles, rolling his stool closer to you. “shit… lay back baby, lay back,” he guides you on the chair.

without unbuttoning his pants, or yours, or wiping down the glove or your lips—jake takes his dental mirror and parts your lips gently by his thumb on your chin. the inside of your mouth is completely white and sticky from his semen, it’s everywhere—on your teeth, especially your tongue, the inside of your cheeks, the back of your throat, hanging from your uvula.

this is something jake’s never seen before as he examines it through the mirror. he then places his instrument down with a satisfactory hum, running his thumb along your lower lip. 

“well,” jake shrugs, pecking the corner of your lip. “your teeth look great—throats… wonderful,” he pats your head. “next appointment can be anytime—i’ll give you my number,”

“keep sucking like that and you might have to come often.”