I’m experiencing a profound sadness. A sadness specific to a type of failure, an avoidable failure.The reason my belly aches and my chest burns, the reason i ache with jealousy of what it could have been- because i tried. i tried so fucking hard and i still can’t be the best. I’m fat, I’m ugly, and all i have is my academics but I cant even have that. i just want to be the best at something. why am i always shit.










