L

imagine a mini game where you try to balance out a bunch of tasks, but when you get to overstimulated or exhausted a piece of the body gets out of control, and you have to keep working around each tic until you complete all of your tasks or a timer goes off 

You’ll like have to figure out if you rather spend energy on trying to hold back tics, so you can complete tasks faster, or spend energy on trying to help your body calm down so the tics won’t  escalate

The hospital I go to throws a prom for kids that couldn’t go, and even though I’m not a kid anymore a doctor I know give me a special invite and it means the world to me, but it’s kind of silly to be my age and excited for something like that

I’m gonna go shopping with my sister soon yay

I spent years switching between so many different medicines that completely ruined my mental health for nothing 

I experienced horrible hallucinations and intense dissociations for nothing…

“So you’re constantly shaking?” it’s more complicated than that but basically 

“do you have ticks in your left ear haha” actually yeah, now that you put that in my mind. My hand is punching myself in the  ear so thank you. 

“do you often fall? Like completely to the ground” bitch this isn’t a fucking soap opera it’s more complicated than just falling or not falling

“So it doesn’t seem like you have any social problems”  I’m so fucking autistic and literally struggling to speak.

“Some say  you could definitely have a job” what fucking job would hire someone that basically can’t read needs constant breaks and can’t be around lots of loud noises 😭

Today I went to a new movement specialist because the majority of my life now I was told I had Tourette’s 

But there’s a strong possibility I actually have something else

It’s a very similar  movement disorder called Functional Neurological Disorder (FND)

And basically a lot of things that I’ve been doing to try and manage my Tourette’s have actually been pretty much useless 

Like it’s probably one of the most insulting things someone can say, it’s ignorant, and incredibly stupid yet they think it’s so brilliant and explaining anything is just gonna make them say it again