LIVE DIFFERENTLY

A couple of months ago I travelled back to California with the idea that I would only be home for a few weeks. I had finally mastered the language and I was eager to get back and do all of the important things that needed to be done. My head and my heart were in Gulu with my host mom and auntie and my 2 little brothers and my sister and the returnees. I had a family and I felt understood. Coming home suddenly felt foreign and I was afraid that no one would understand what I had seen. Or even worse, that no one would care. If you told me back then that I wouldn’t be back for a couple of months, I probably wouldn’t have left. I love this place blindly and without limits.

But I needed to slow down and my body told me what my mind wouldn’t accept. My health became a serious priority and I knew I had to rest. At the same time, my fears were hushed when I found myself sharing stories with strangers who have now become friends. They asked me questions and listened with wide eyes and I never once felt alone in what I had seen.

Over 70,000 refugees live at the Nakivale Refugee Settlement in Uganda.  The land they live on would absolutely take your breath way. It's vast and vibrant. Beautiful and tragic. 

I walked alongside a young congolese boy and listened to him share his stories. He took a deep breath and said, 

I have this one particular defection flier that I've carried with me for a while. I brought it with me when I was fundraising for Invisible Children's #zeroLRA campaign.  When I was packing for Uganda I stuck it in my notebook and forgot about it until just a few days ago. 

When I came across it I started trying to read the instructions on how to escape in Acholi. I wanted to see how much of the language I had (or hadn’t) learned. I studied the flier carefully and then flipped it over to look more closely at the other side. 

The other side is a photograph of a group of 16 men, women and children who escaped from the LRA. The photographs are used on the fliers as a way to show others remaining that if they escape, they too will be brought home safely.

Before today, I had seen the flier in its entirety at least 50 times. But this time, when I looked at it closely, I saw my friend Ray. 

Ray escaped from the LRA in 2011 and I’ve recently spent a lot of time with him since I’ve been in Uganda. He is the kind of person that you are just immediately drawn to. His heart just feels so big. 

When I saw his face, I ran over to show him what I had found. 

He studied the flier as I tripped over my words in excitement. Eventually, I fell silent and watched his eyes smile at the photograph. 

Slowly, he would look up at me, and then look back down.

In that moment, I began searching for the words to describe what my heart already knew about Ray.

His eyes feel innocent and overwhelmingly sincere. They tell stories of hope and faith and they know some sort of beautiful secret.

It was there that I was interrupted, 

For the last 24 hours that I have been sitting in terminals or flying through the sky I have also been staring at this journal. Over and over again I kept reminding myself that I want to remember what it feels like to be sitting on a plane knowing I am not coming home until Christmas. What it feels like to be both scared and hopeful. 

This is a story about the worth of women.This is a story about struggle and speaking out.This is a story of how change happens.This is the story of Mukhtar Mai, who was gang-raped in Pakistan. 

For Mukhtar Mai, death seemed like it was the easiest way. But Mukhtar chose to stay alive, and her decision altered the destiny of over 300 children. 

The world is grateful for her.

Sudan is revving up its slaughter in Darfur. What will it take to get the international community, including President Obama, to speak out more forcefully?

PROCEED WITH CAUTION: WITH KNOWLEDGE, COMES RESPONSIBILITY.

Kristof is fighting for our minds to comprehend that Yohanita may or may not have been saved, but that there are 4 million people just like her. And they matter.

September 10, 2013

Today is national suicide prevention day, and I am thinking of some of my favorite people. My beautiful mother, and all my crazy uncles that are holding me in this photo. 

They miss their dad.

I miss my grandpa. 

Dont forget to tell your loved ones how you feel. 

To not give up on yourself. 

If you haven’t already read this article, it is essential. Read it now.

Jed, you inspire me everyday. Share your smile.