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There are reasons I suspect that I gravitate towards DDLG. Here’s what I know for certain. Being little and cared for gives me an incredible sense of peace and calmness. It gives me space to be my most vulnerable self. I love the opportunity to spend time being little.

What appeals to me about this is the calm dark violence. There is no yelling or anybody raising their voices, just the dominant expressing his dark desires. While she is bound, I would prefer her to be unbound but still take it and accept it.

I crave to be punched in the mouth, stomach, kicked and slapped with the back of somebody’s hand. I like the idea of being punched and kicked to the floor and taken roughly on the floor with my face pressed into the ground by their foot.

It is difficult to understand why I would want such a thing but ultimately women have been beaten and fucked roughly without care for centuries. The mixture of pain and pleasure and feeling that someone simply must take you plays a role in why. I want this.

In short, the two can go hand-in-hand to build confidence in the workplace with the right dominant who supports you but have your own secret slutty escape in private.

I’m a perfectionist, I always have been. Stress and success is likely my fuel in life. My career is very important to me. I work in a male-dominated field where to be taken seriously I have to be quite masculine. Confident, decisive and assertive.

So it might surprise people to hear on the inside, I am a slave to a dominant and I love tasks, direction and to be on her knees drooling and willing to serve in anyway asked. I want to be a mindless obedient fucktoy who on command licks her masters ass and feet or his cum out of another subs pussy. I crave to be beaten mercilessly and used.

So how does this help me?

——

I initially wrote the above post on the 16th of May but my dominant ask me to expand on my thoughts.

For me, I have always had kidnap and rape fantasies. Even from an early age. I would imaging running in the park and a man would come up behind me, drug me and put me in a van. I would wake in an unfamiliar room or basement. It would be explained to me that I’m now an owned piece of property and that I was to be trained to be a perfect submissive. A slave to be used at her masters discretion

There would be lessons and infractions would be met with swift punishment. Beatings, being stripped off clothes, or privileges like sleeping on a bed or enduring extreme stress poses. Overtime, I would be honed into the perfect submissive that wanted to please her master.

Part of the appeal of this fantasy is the idea of being taken against my will and a struggle between me and my master. I want rules and to be held accountable. Punished if I don’t follow the rules. I want to be dominated in mind and body. I also greatly desire being owned and kept. Used harshly but also cherished and doted on.

—-

It is incredibly embarrassing and disappointing for me to say that my dominant didn’t feel my second post was up to scratch. This is my third attempt.

He told me to focus on a situation where a submissive is there above me and how I would be used to help him dominate her and the tasks that the master would make me do that I hate and fear.

Let me take them both in turn and hope I hit the mark this time.

As a submissive, I am very slave like. I imagine being kept naked and chained to a desk or bed by my master. I would be kneeling with my legs spread and eyes pointed downward. He would bring a submissive in and take her to the couch. By now, I would have learned all the wordless signals that my Master gives. I know that I’m an object that is there to serve and be ignored. I am there to help assist him if he requires me. One click means to look at him, two clicks is to bring her to shower and wash her and three is my favourite that I can lick her and prepare her for his cock. I would watch as he fucks and uses her, waiting eagerly for instructions like that I can clean his cum out of her or that I should cock warm him to get him ready for her again. Maybe instead of being on the bed, I would be across the room, fucking myself with a dildo and waiting for him to let me cum. After a long session, she would be in his arms with my head on his thighs if he liked or on the floor.

In relation to tasks that the Master would make do that I hate and fear, there is no bigger fear for me than anal. However, my fears and dislikes do not matter in this scenario, only his pleasure. I would take it when he wants, spreading my ass cheeks to help him go deeper and accepting that it is my role to endure. Other fears would include giving me to a man for the night to use and keeping me permanently exposed so that everyone can see my body. Other potential fears could include only referring to me as whore and cunt.

Never tell yourself you are unattractive as the clingy, needy female you are. There are Men out there who find those qualities very attractive. Independence in females is not only unattractive to Me but repulsive. they were, at some point, trained to be the opposite of what they were born to be.

There is a lyric that sums up this experience for me from the song called “Sweet Nothing”.

But you hesitate anyway.

It's not that you don't know the answer, it's that you don't know if it's the right one. The one you're supposed to give. You know an answer, not the answer.

You don't decide that.

So you look at him, just a glance.

And he nods. Just a little. Just enough.

Remove your clothes. All of them. Hand them to Me one by one. Remove your jewelry, your make up and your shoes until you're standing before Me naked without any ties to the vanilla world. Bend over at the waist so I can inspect your cunt and asshole. By now, you're soaked and you can't help yourself. Spread your ass cheeks apart so I can insert the large plug. you'll get used to the feeling but it will take some time. I can hear the grunt you try to stifle as it pops into place. you can't hide your shame from Me. your face is red as I see your dignity leave you. Now drop to your knees and pull your hair back so I can lock the metal collar around your neck. you hear the lock snap shut, continuing to look down at the floor in shame and even fear. There is nowhere to go. I attach the metal chain leash to your collar and introduce you to your new home. you will not leave the floor for some time.

And the world feels too heavy to carry alone.

When it feels as though I’m barely holding on,

I kneel.

When my mind is racing,

And my heart feels like it might give up.

When it feels like I’ve lost all hope,

I kneel.

I kneel at Your feet and know that I am seen.

I kneel before You and know that I am safe.

For when I kneel, I am more.

I embrace my surrender and submission and know all is right in the world.