The Short One

Radical Orpheus descends to the underworld.

Morpheus Orpheus Dorpheus

English isn’t a language, it’s three languages stacked on top of each other wearing a trenchcoat.

@maxburgiv

The internet’s pillars of wholesomeness have a new member. Steve Irwin (Love nature), Bob Ross (Love yourself), Mr. Rogers (Love others), Stefan Karl Stefansson (Love life), and now Stan Lee (Love imagination)

Your “lazy” son or daughter may actually be clinically depressed

^^^

Every Adult In “Harry Potter” Let Us Down At Some Point And That’s Important a 900 page dissertation by me

And that includes Joanne Kathleen Rowling a tear stained afterword by me

Hagrid Is The Exception a rebuttal by me

The Time Hagrid Told Voldemort How to Take Out Something Protecting an Object that Grants Immortality When He Was Drunk and Other Well-Meaning Fuck Ups a lengthy chapter

You’re Absolutely Right a retraction

How dare you assume Molly Weasley has done anything wrong ever

That Time Molly Yelled At The Twins And Ron For Saving Harry From Abuse And Starvation, Thus Likely Communicating To The Abused Kid In Her Presence That His Welfare Was Less Important Than Not Borrowing The Car, That Time Molly Was Utterly Condescending About How Harry Is A Child And Doesn’t Deserve To Know Anything In A Way That Probably Heightened His Determination To Prove Otherwise, That Time Molly Said The Twins Put Together Aren’t As Good As Any Of Their Brothers Over OWL Results That They Worked Hard On And Were Proud Of, That Time Molly Forcibly Cut Her Adult Son’s Hair Right Before His Wedding, That Time Molly Spent A Year Being Mean And Rejectful Toward Her Son’s Fiancee, That Time Molly Sent Hermione A Deliberate “Fuck You” Present For Easter Because She Believed A False Story Written In Witch Weekly Without Making Any Attempt To Ask The People Actually Involved, Those Times She Made Her Youngest Son’s Christmas Sweaters His Least Favorite Color, And Every Time She Belittled Her Husband’s Hobby, The Twins’ Interests, And Bill’s Appearance Because She Couldn’t Be Bothered To Understand Or Value Or Even Be Kind About Them a detailed reminder that no one’s perfect and sometimes what one person doesn’t mind or see hits another person hard

Florean Fortescue Just Wanted To Sell Some Ice Cream And Help Harry With His Homework He Is The Only Adult Who Didn’t Mess Up Until Getting Killed By Voldemort, RIP an increasingly strident addendum by me

OK You’re Absolutely Right Florean Fortescue Was In Fact Perfect As Far As I’m Aware a concession by me

Was Florean Fortescue really just plying Harry with free icecream so that everyone in Diagon Alley could see that The Harry Potter was a patron of his shop? A lengthy essay on how we can’t assume someone’s character if they only appear briefly (like for a paragraph?)

No one in movies or games ever mishears or misunderstands anything that is said to them, unless it is relevant to the plot.

This. This is good fiction writing advice. I really appreciate how it was formatted as “this is a common problem, here is a solution to try in your own work” and not “oh god, don’t do that!” without any extra help. And I extra appreciated the “don’t rely on adverbs” bit, because they do have their place but they aren’t the only way actions can be emphasized.