little miss no

@cdjallettaa @lgbtseniorsthefilm-blog @cheezbot 

@cdjallettaa @lgbtseniorsthefilm-blog @cheezbot 

Came out to my mom finally! I’m in summer school speech class, and for my second speech, I wanted to talk about gender and sexuality. To establish my credibility, I wanted to tell the class that I was fluidflux and pan. (I was so nervous, though you couldn’t tell, but everyone took it well!). Before I came out to a bunch of strangers, I wanted to come out to my mom, so the night before, I told her. I was only a little nervous at first, but as we kept talking, I started to tear up, my body trembling. My mom joked around, even making an irritating joke about me liking the stove (ugh -_- ), but I know she was just trying to make light of the situation. And, she didn’t have any questions, which tbh, I kinda hate, but whatever. She just nodded her head and told me that she figured since I told her a year ago I was questioning if I might be genderfluid. That time didn’t go as well.

Anyways, I came out to her! And, it was as good as I could have hoped it to be. I didn’t expect much in the first place since she’s a little homophobic and transphobic, but she didn’t show any sign that I disappointed her or anything, which I was worried about.

“"Geez, what am I going to do with you?"

"Haha, love me?" Charli said, giggling. Adelah moved a finger aside and peeked at Charli, who showed her a toothy grin. Charli flinched as Adelah scooched forward and rested her head on Charli's shoulder, a timid hand reaching up to grip Charli's dress. Adelah remained silent, the only sound of her warm breath begging to hug Charli's skin.”

“Adelah's eyes sparkled at the many comics glistening before her. She ran to the newest volume of a yaoi manga her and Farrah had been waiting ages for and flipped through its pages. Charli stepped next to her and picked out an action manga, but she couldn't concentrate on its content at all. Her eyes skipped over to the smile plastered on Adelah's lips, the light shining in her eyes as they scanned each page, the slight tint of her cheeks at the racy scenes.

Charli sat on the floor, staring up at Adelah. She giggled to herself before turning away and forcing herself to read the manga she picked out.”

Told my crush I like her again. Did it through text (shitty, I know) because it’s been ages since we’ve seen each other. We’re both just so busy. My hands started to shake. It took me like an hour to write the message. Felt like I might black out. I could feel a panic attack coming on, just from confessing my feelings for her. I don’t think she likes me back, so I’m prepared for her rejection, but god, how I wish she liked me back. I don’t like people often. I think I’m more afraid of dating her, though, than I am of being rejected. I don’t want to disappoint her.

-Mandy Moore singing ‘Only Hope’ in A Walk to Remember

-Princess Jasmine seducing Jafar in Aladdin

Been thinking about my brother on my sperm donor’s side lately. He was 10 years younger than me and severely handicapped--blind, couldn’t speak, couldn’t walk, cerebral palsy, his cells weren’t regenerating (don’t know if this is part of cerebral palsy), had a feeding tube, constantly having seizures, etc. etc. There were so many things wrong with him, I can’t remember them all. Doctors gave him til he was 5 to die.

When my brother was 9, 4 years after he was supposed to die, my sperm donor called my sister to let us know that my brother was in pain from something wrong with one of his organs. They were going to stop giving my brother medicine and give him pain relieving medicine, just let him pass away, so he wouldn’t be in so much pain. Doctors predicted he had a month.

My sperm donor bought a ticket for my sister to go see our brother, but not me. When I called to ask if I could come to say goodbye, too, we talked for a few minutes about it, and then, he hung up (don’t remember the reason why, but I think it was like I’ll see if I can buy a ticket). A second later, my sperm donor texted me, telling me I couldn’t come because ‘I would start a fight with everyone.’ All because I didn’t talk much on the phone. How stupid are you? If you actually knew me, you’d know I don’t talk much normally!

To this day, 3 years later, I can’t forget this. I hadn’t seen my brother in 5 years because my sperm donor and I were on bad terms. (He couldn’t accept the fact he treats me differently from my sister and always has. For instance, he’s never thrown me a bday party but threw my sister one every year, and he gave me $30 while giving my sister $100 for our bdays repeatedly, among other things. See how unfair that is?)

I can never forgive him, and not being able to see my brother is eating me up inside. He would have been 12 now. I did nothing wrong, but I should have just sucked it up and played nice (even tho I already was).

If I had the money, I would have driven the day it takes to get to Florida to see you. I’d do anything for you. I hope you don’t hate me.

“"Mmm," Shae sounded. The fingers on his back froze, but only for a second. Shae opened his eyes to see a slight lift to Kylian's lips. He stared at them, wondering if Kylian, too, enjoyed their touch. They're tiny but look so soft...

"You're small."

Shae looked up at Kylian's simple words, his ears burning at the thought of being caught. His eyes met those of Kylian, who had already been watching him.

"Much smaller than me," Kylian said, his hands that now lay on Shae's sides squeezing them to emphasize his point. Shae widened his eyes. His hips throbbed at the touch.”

~Yours by Littlemissno on Tapas