cigarette daydreams

Pictures can never capture the beauty of these sunrises I get to wake up to. So thankful for this past year in my first apartment I will never forget. I am so thankful for myself making the choice to move and live my own life. It’s rough taking care of yourself, being the only person you know, doing everything alone at first was honestly depressing. But I have made this for myself. I have created a whole new life for myself that I love and deserve. I have been through so much this past year and the years before but here I am, thankful for the lessons life has taught me. I am strong. Independent. And capable of anything and everything. I will not settle for less. Here’s to a new year!! T-9 days till I start moving into my new home!! #blessed #newyear #newthings #portlandlife (at South Portland, Portland) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bojuf7AlsBL/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1fgi0xmm6xtes

Another selfie comparison. A year can feel so long but also so short. I cannot express my confusion but also lack of care towards time as I get older. #personal #nofilter #broccolibabe

^i took these pictures exactly a year apart^ Physically- I see little change Emotionally- I see strength Mentally- I see determination. #selfie #nofilter #freshface #filterfree #me

We tried to go to the river. The sun didn’t shine. We tried to go for a hike. The roads were closed. But then we found the most wonderful lavender field and the day continues to be magical.💜🔮🧞‍♀️ (at Mount Tabor, Portland, Oregon)

We took those balloons in a restaurant. #pride (at Seattle, Washington)

//I took a picture of myself \\I found all the flaws //I made them up \\They are pretend //I am beautiful a look on a normal day-me I wanted to remind you that you can not change anyone but yourself. Change the way you act and react to others. (at Portland, Oregon)

Spontaneous adventures into the sunset with you gives me so much to look forward to in the months to come. Thanks for your patients and endless amounts of kindness and genuine care. ❤️💕✨ (at Portland, Oregon)

Probably the most unexpected way to end a great long week but WOAH I’m a huge fan of unexpected things. Friendship goallllssssss. #boatnight (at Portland, Oregon)

Thanks for not complaining that I walk too fast, cause I’m enjoying this adventure we’ve started✨😊🗝❤️🌎🔮 5/10/18 (at Tryon Creek State Natural Area)

I’d like to tell a little story because my brain is filled with heavy but relieved thoughts and emotions and I don’t need a Facebook memory to remind me of the choice I made a year ago today. I was so trapped in myself, in a lie, in fear and self doubt. I spent 3 years convincing myself to work through it, it’ll get better, something will change, someone will change, if only this was true. So I left and one year has gone by. Removing myself and starting completely over, recreating myself, finding myself, loosing myself? March 27th 2017 z morning I packed everything I owned in a moving truck and decided to leave everything I had known in my adult life, the only person I really knew and who knew me, and I had no idea where I was going next other than my car and the beach, little did I know for close to 3 months I’d be living out of it then ending up in Oregon..?!? Completely unexpected. I guess that’s the wild part to me. Who would have known making this one choice would have created this whole new life for me? All these lives and people and adventures I’ve seen/been on in only a year?! And I thought 3 years was long. Leaving is hard then leaving your family and friends for your safety and sanity 3 months later is honestly even harder but LOOK AT ME. Look at who I am!! Look at who I can be!! The world is so big and I am so small. I could have never dreamed of my life happening like this but I am so thankful to myself for making that one choice, being so afraid but being okay with the fear. Because it passed. Life moves on. It keeps moving. Sometimes I think about sharing a lot more about the things I’ve been through I just don’t know how or why so I don’t but this is something to remember this day right here. It’s something I’ll remember for a long time and I hope not for the painful parts but for my strength and the realization that time means nothing unless you are truly happy. I am so use to my anonymity and brick walls I forget that real life is happening and people are here now. Today I am very sad but I am also happy. I lost a lot but I have gained so much. I miss my family and friends but I also missed myself. Here I am. (at Portland, Oregon)

#twomoods ||Who is she|| (at Portland Heights, Oregon)

#twomoods when you’re goin. Through a certain kind of crazy mania cause life feels a little wild. Sometimes I like how many personalities I have. Sometimes I don’t. Haha it was a #paramore typa day (at Portland, Oregon)

#hoopspam #hooplah I DO NOT OWN THIS MUSIC

I rarely have the time to post anymore but I have hours of videos of myself hooping I still hoop every day and I record myself a ton I’ll try to post some but my iPad is so broken. I hoop every second I’m not working or sleeping ⭕️🌙🍃✨💕💋💯🌻🍂💎☀️♑️❤️💯🌍🌬✌🏼🙋🏽🙃🐱💎✨ #hooplah #christmashooping I also got to hoop in the snow for the first time which was wild and slippery so be careful this season #Portlandhoopers #happyhooper I DO NOT OWN THIS MUSIC (at South Portland, Portland)