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⋆⭒˚.⋆ Cece, mid-20s, she/her ⋆⭒˚.⋆

⋆⭒˚.⋆ this is my personal blog! if we aren't mutuals or friends already/on another blog, please do not follow me here ⋆⭒˚.⋆

⋆⭒˚.⋆ in case i forget to make something nonrebloggable, please do not reblog original posts from this blog ⋆⭒˚.⋆

yesterday my period was just barely starting and my cramps were light. This morning I woke up in so much pain I could barely move. Ben brought me a breakfast because I need to eat before I can take pain meds.

So I ate and took ibuprofen and then got up to put in a tampon and change my panty liner (which was all I had on overnight because I was barely bleeding at all) and it was one of those cases where the pad has absorbed very little because there’s a massive fucking clot trapping things and once you wipe the clot away then you’ll start bleeding for real.

I got back in bed for a couple minutes to wait for meds to kick in and then just few minutes later had to deal with period shits and my tampon wasn’t even in correctly so I had to take it out and put in a smaller one because my cramps were so bad my whole body was clenching and I couldn’t relax enough to get the bigger one in AND THEN I started to feel really nauseous and I was like I need to get up and take some tums and lie down so I don’t throw up my meds. And then when I finished shitting I got up and washed my hands and before I could even get to the tums I had to turn around and puke so hard that it made me pee a little and I have red spots on my face.

Then I had to change my panty liner again and then I laid down and after about 20 minutes I took more ibuprofen and Ben gave me a plain tortilla and at that point I was like well i don’t think this is getting better so I’m not going to work so I took a CBD gummy and half a codeine pill left over from my surgery (which I’m trying to ration) and then I felt too sick to drive so I had Ben drive me to the office so I could get my laptop. And then the minute I got home before I could even take off my shoes I had to run to the bathroom to puke again.

Picture A: Ben brought me coffee in bed. Picture B: I made green tea at work.

Today Ben made me some more tacos like we had last night to take to work for lunch, and then for dinner kept it real simple with some rice and chicken and frozen mixed veggies that was ready when I got home. I forgot to take a picture but NGL it was not an exciting meal to look at, just butter and some seasonings, but it was delicious and I wolfed it down when I got home! He really takes good care of me.

Well this morning I called my PCP to make a doctor appointment. She’s on leave so can’t see me til next month but that’s sooner than my OBGYN can fit me in, so! Steps!

I also made an appointment for us to look at apartments on Friday. We are probably going to downsize when our lease is up in about two months. Sad because I like this apartment but we can probably save 3-400 in rent in a smaller place.

All this AND I started my period (barely). I mean I have cramps and I’m laying down with my heating pad but the bleeding has barely started yet. I have a pad on because it’s not even enough blood for a tampon. Like every other month I have super intense cramps and a heavier flow (like, medium heavy) and every other month I have medium level cramps and a lighter flow. This is another reason I don’t think my OBGYNs solution for period pain is it: taking Progestin only might thin my uterine lining, but I still have cramps and back pain even if my flow is light, and also the light flow is kind of annoying because I have to use pads instead of tampons #NOTmyPreference

once again forgot to take a picture, but Ben made us soft tacos with shredded chicken, black bean and avocado. SO GOOD! He also picked me up a banana pudding milkshake because I said I was craving one 🥹

Work is absolutely kicking my ass at the moment… and it’s a double whammy with PMS that seems kind of inescapable because the bleeding just. won’t. start. I went to my OBGYN a couple weeks ago and she prescribed me the mini pill for period pain but the pharmacy never called me to tell me to pick it up and I think my doctor may not have even put the prescription in (love her, but she was super distracted that day. My appointment was 2 hours late because she had to perform an emergency C section! Crazy stuff! Understandable why something might have been lost in translation…)

But I kind of think the mini pill isn’t going to help me for a couple reasons I actually think I might need to be on estrogen and NOT progesterone. I did a little googling and apparently as a cis woman you can’t take enough estrogen only (without progesterone) to prevent pregnancy but I’m not trying to prevent pregnancy, I’m trying to prevent luteal phase. I want to be in follicular phase forever… 🤩 I kind of think I should make an appointment with my PCP and ask what she thinks and/or for a referral to an endocrinologist.