LiquidAyre

Fine, let's call it a memory in my attempt to feign that we ever were more than just passion not the grave mistakes that left us ashen.

Our rapture in rupture our love left in lesions our feelings forever that waned with the seasons cacophonous "love you's" uttered in echoes all in our vain, refusal to let go.

I think I was supposed to love you a feeling I find discerning this constant pang of longing which I'm holding back from yearning.

I think I was supposed to love you I hold this feeling chaste because I know I cannot love you and I need this blip misplaced.

I think I was supposed to love you to hold you close and dear I want to go and tell you but then I'll want to disappear.

Happy Halloween they said

all dressed up to play

in suits and ties, with hollow eyes

after knocking they didn't stay.

Happy Halloween they said

I swear you were here before

both in disguise, I fantasised

that they came in through the door.

Happy Halloween they said

with little more than a grin

eager to please, a brief release

to join in with this sin.

Happy Halloween they said

as I stood looking through a pane

I despised their relentless cries

Lights out, again

the tightening of boot straps,

straps that claw at your feet

gripping for dear life.

Lights out, again

clenched teeth and breathing,

breathing is my last solace

I can only feel my lungs.

Lights out, again

we trudge on through swill

stagnant steps elluding progress

march on, relentless.

Lights out,

We are a myth

told through the tomes that I have written

a fantastic tragedy of two.

Our tumultuous tale tells of those who,

tantalisingly close, remain unrequited.

Ununited despite contrited attempts of flirtation.

The tally tallies as we dilly dally

dance around with withering eyes

causing each other constant distraction

devoid we avoid an actual connection.

Intrepid travellers trekking tirelessly,

tried and tested, devoted, invested.

At our bequest that the rest is left

I think we walked in shadows again

incipient cold crept through our skin

we trudged through muck in hopes that we

could crawl on to something greater.

We fell at least was not our first

at last our feast did quench our thirst,

devoured feelings, voracious hunger

all amidst a looming thunder.

Tread carefully, toes lingering, debris astrewn

tip toe to toe to knees too soon.

A heavy breeze has left us breathless

Don't blame me,

it's a shame we never were

it's absurd I'm unheard

amidst my silence.

Unspoken though my heart may be

unbroken were my vows, honestly

I promised thee that we could never hurt

so we were never we.

reccommended, apprehensive

reluctantly I'll sit and wallow

on a truth that's hard to swallow.

Insatiably apathetic

begrudgingly recollected

relegated to my hollow

a silent act soon to follow.

Honestly, it's all I have

understanding that I am bad

embrace the wait, this I'll allow

Bellisimo

it was brief,

but I believed it so.

With which our heart had wailed so low

the growth and growl, unmistakable.

I found it relatable, that your state escaped

wispy hair tufts slip through glistened fingers

unconditioned.

The decision amongst derision lacked vision.

The callous incision created a schism.

It was very beautiful once,

and I look back fondly

like gawky photos in yearbooks

wincing when the tear jerks

I wanted her to kiss me, softly at first, then as time passed, arms tighten in embrace travelling our bodies.

I wanted my left hand to hold the back of her head and then press whilst my right arm coiled around her waist, pulling her in to me.

We hoped you'd come and save us, it was ebbing from our will. A dream that you'd redeem us and your strength you would instill. Long since we have waited and still have yet to learn that the candles do not flicker, if you never let them burn.

In turn the lesson learned was earned by blood pooled from our knees. A soul installed, held and sold within a brief reprise. With ease we seized at freedom as it flickered past our eyes, despised the cries we wailed as we looked up at the skies.

Freedom was disguised to us disgusted, so was I. Justice realised to us if we could revel in their eyes. Sinners steeped in tragedy had more of an appeal than the innocent left rotting as it later would reveal.

and back they slowly drift

"I want something roughly spun"

and back they slowly drift

"I want happiness, that rests"

and back they slowly drift

I never wanted to forgive.

to believe that I could have given you everything.

For surely it is plain to see,

I cannot provide even for me.

Love must be blind, as well as dumb

For me to enthrall you, for you to succumb.

Yet it seems I was to blame,

solemnly putting feet in front of the other

in an attempt to trudge myself out of myself

there was a disjointed rhythm,

a pulling up of heavy feet

an indicative stumble, telling me to stop.

I think I'm trying again,

I think I'm thinking about moving forward

backwards seems counter productive,

stationary seems comfortable,

but

forward could be more?

I think I'll stay put for a while.

I just have this bad feeling,

something's up ahead and I'm more prepared here

I'll get moving again when it passes