This is a post, first and foremost, about burnout. Being a public librarian presents a certain category of problems and attracts a certain type of people - namely, the problems of social aid professions and the compassionate people who go into them. The advice in this post comes from my own experiences as well as wisdom distilled from my parentsā combined 60 years of being in the sister passion profession of teaching.
Here goes:
1) Libraries are not your life. Not your patrons, not your programs, not your advocacy efforts. None of it. Repeat this to yourself, over and over, as manyĀ times as it takes. If you want to survive - or even just be effective - in this line of work, you cannot reduce your identity down to just ālibrarianā. All the advice on work-life balance and establishing boundaries applies here, but donāt forget to think about the āidentityā part specifically, too.
1a) Itās going to be really easy to forget 1) when youāre in the warm, righteous, determined rush of feeling needed.
Thatās a heady feeling and itās going to make you want to ignore your boundaries. Sometimes, you will; that canāt always be helped, and breaking your own boundaries isnāt something to beat yourself up over when it happens. Itās a neutral fact that weāre wired to love the feeling of being needed, or we wouldnāt have lasted this long as a social species. When you come down from it a bit, ask yourself what parts of that experience were rewarding to you. Was it the type of social interaction - teaching, caring, giving? Was it a feeling that you had power over your portion of the situation, power to enact what you thought was right? Where else could you get those things if you needed, so that your job doesnāt have to be the only place you experience those feelings?
2) Most people are not going to remember you after they walk out that library door, so donāt do your job to be remembered by them. Youāre probably in this job because someone in libraries had a huge impact on you when you were younger, but you need to recognize when and where youāre making your interactions about you and your own self-image rather than your patrons or your role in the community. This can be especially difficult with kids, since kids can be very intense and make you feel like youāre the centre of their universe. When this happens, ask yourself what need you are fulfilling for them and what that actually, concretely requires of you.
3) Suffering is not transactional. We live in a culture thatās built primarily on Christian values, and the biggest Christian story of them all is the success of sacrifice. Jesus, however, was special - thatās kind of the whole point, as I understand the thing. Basically, remember that the amount of blood, sweat, and tears that you put into something does not in any way correlate to the amount of enjoyment or learning or purpose anyone else gets out of it.
4) Understand the system. Where does the money come from? Can you trace it back, not just to grants from the city, but to the kinds of business and property taxes that fund the city? North Americans are brought up with this background noise of āinfinite growthā that you have to consciously tone down if you want to be able to assess a situation realistically. I had a boss once who told me, āWhen youāre presenting to council, always remember that the fire department is fighting for the same pot of money you are.ā There might be more than enough money in the world to fund what you want - but is that money in your town? If not, can you bring it into your town? Knowing what your limits are can help you expand them, yes, but it can also save you from throwing yourself after a mirage of glory that simply doesnāt exist.
5) Everything takes more time than you think, even changes away from horrifying practises or towards things that are objectively morally right. Libraries exist suspended in a web of the relationships between multiple bureaucratic organizations, budgets only happen once a year, and most people donāt spend their working days thinking about their communityās library. Youāre going to have great ideas for change, theyāre going to be realistic and possible and just within reach, and itās going to feel grindingly slow. Donāt get mad; remember the fire department. Everyone working with you to achieve this change has their own equivalent of the fire department in their life. Make sure things are moving, but make sure you donāt blame people when theyāre not moving faster. Itās unlikely that youāre being obstructed out of maliciousness and even on the rare occasions you are, you will get more help from others if you donāt visibly assume it anyway. Make sure youāre using your anger against injustice to motivate you, not other people.
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The core tenet of Stupidism is that everyone is really hecking stupid.
The core values of Stupidism are
Caution: because we, being stupid and surrounded by stupid people, are liable to do something stupid or be subjected to the stupidity of others at any time and in any situation.
Compassion: because it sucks to be stupid, and we are all stupid together.
Curiosity: because being stupid means having a lot to learn.
In case you wanted to know the state of your friendly small-town prairie library, I'm currently helping a new manager do inventory and boggling at the amount of text it's apparently possible to fit in a single Call Number field. Don't worry, it doesn't affect the labels, those are all handwritten in ballpoint pen.
In case you wanted to know the state of your friendly small-town prairie library, I'm currently helping a new manager do inventory and boggling at the amount of text it's apparently possible to fit in a single Call Number field. Don't worry, it doesn't affect the labels, those are all handwritten in ballpoint pen.
just helped an old old man log into his outlook account and we succeeded and he said āyoung lady, go in peace. we have accomplished this mission.ā what an electrifying way of speakingā¦
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i have been shaving my head for several months now and im an old hand at most of the weirdness that comes with it. ive seen so many strange things - a beanie torn in half after i tried brute force yanking it off my stubble, strangers hands gripping my head like a sort of fleshy bowling ball, c-beams glittering in the dark by the tanhauser gate.
but still, sometimes, things surprise me. and i was surprised today. because today an old man approached me at the park. and he said, you know, im a pediatrician.
which is already a weird start to a conversation, because i didnt know that. and maybe i should have just rolled with it, but instead i went
wait. i dont know that. why did you think i knew that?
which didn't even put him slightly off balance.
cuz you're bald, he said, so confidently that i didnt even question it until the conversation was over. now. i was - i was over there, sitting -
and he gestured across the park to a giant pile of soft dirt that had an almost cartoonishly exaggerated ass print on it which derailed me for the second time. right? because whoever sat on that dirt, clearly, had an ass like two coconuts being fired out of a spanish cannon. whereas this man had an ass that could probably only be detected with powerful scientific instruments. i told him this in more succint terms by simply saying that was clearly not his buttprint.
now at this point we'd gotten derailed twice, and as unflappable as he'd been the first time, he was starting to get a little defensive. so he said perhaps someone with a large butt sat down after i got up, and i said why are you lying about where you were sitting, and he said why would i do that? and i said if i knew, i wouldnt be asking, and he said fine, i was driving by - and i said why didn't you just say you were driving by?!?!?!?! and he said because i didn't want you to think i was the kind of crazy person that would just stop his car to tell a stranger in a park that he, as a pediatrician, could tell that your parents REALLY cared about tummy time!
then he left. angrily. he actually stomped back to his car. i dont know when i started laughing but i didnt stop until i got home. my voice is still all scratchy right now. ive been in a little bit of a writing funk but i had to get this down while i could still remember it so perfectly.
and as a tangent, i cannot emphasize enough the benefits of going outside and interacting with the public. it is a constant source of joy. every place on earth is the weirdest place on earth. i will never be able to write a character as fascinating as the people i run into at the park. but god help me, i have to try.
i have once again been politely restraining myself from talking about a very ??? thing that happened at work bcos of respect for people's privacy. but yesterday i clocked what might be a new record with a 57 minute complaint call.
the actual complaint was not 57 minutes long but there's a combo of (I assume) significant loneliness and being quite mentally unwell that will cause someone to talk for a solid 57 minutes.
Man. My aunt worked in nonprofit administration for 40-some years and let me tell you it is immensely satisfying to be able to text someone who Gets It, "Remind me to tell you sometime about the library board that was sending its money to three random unincorporated bank accounts in Tailbone, PP (not the arsehole of the prairie provinces but you can see it from there)" and have them immediately understand about 90% of the nuance re: how insane this is.
For all those who have a voice inside them that has been screaming nonstop for several months.
Listen, okay. The Screaming is you, but it's also not you-you. It's not your core self. It's a voice inside you that is sounding the alarm, because, honestly, what are we supposed to do, stop sounding the alarm?
The Screaming is a reflection of your deepest values as a person. The more you try to shut it off, the harder it's going to shriek, because it's as much a part of you as your beating heart. And, really, why are you shutting it off? Don't you feel a little like it would be satisfying to be able to scream for several months without pausing for breath or sleep? Let Her Scream. Too much shit is wrong.
When you are overwhelmed by the Screaming, try sitting down with the Scream and letting her know that you need a little space right now, but that you love her. Give her a hug while she screams directly in your ear. She will probably give you that space. Why? Because she knows that her ability to scream depends on your ability to stand upright, face the world, draw breath, eat food, etc. She isn't a fool. If she were a fool, she wouldn't understand the state of the world, and she wouldn't be Screaming.
When you speak with her, I think you'll also understand an extremely important truth, which is that she's not screaming at you. You aren't the problem. She loves you. (If you hear another voice inside you telling you that the scream is your fault and you are the problem, you have perhaps encountered another part of you, a part who is desperate to stop the Screaming and who doesn't know what the fuck they're talking about. Consider that it cannot be her voice, because she is Screaming.)
(If you hear additional voices talking about additional shit, please ask them to sit down for a minute, because you are speaking to Screaming.)
Today, I give her a hug, and I tell her thank you for being my moral compass in a confusing time. She cries, without ever pausing in the eternal Screaming. And then she goes into a soundproofed anteroom and leaves me alone because she is made of kindness. If she were not made of kindness, she would not be Screaming.
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I need parents to understand that reading the same Lankybox graphic novel over and over is actually a gateway drug to Reading Stuff Other Than That. And shutting down books kids get excited about is a gateway drug to kids Not Reading Period.
what was it like being a librarian for you? i used to want to be a librarian but gave up so im interested in what others have to say abt their experience in the field
It was an immensely rewarding experience but I got burnt out by 1) Proud Boys taking over one of my libraries and permanently altering Illinois law with their moronic antics 2) One of my colleagues dying in a mass shooting at an event we were encouraged to attend and then having almost no time for ourselves while being expected to help the community rally.
On a day to day basis I loved the work, I loved helping people, I loved when regulars would come up to me, I loved encouraging teenagers to open up, I loved getting people to read something that wasn't fucking James Patterson, I loved the programs and I loved weeding and I loved getting to go to conventions and be paid for it and I loved purchasing for collections.
The pay was excruciating though, and my libraries were completely awful about protecting staff. I complained once about a coworker calling me a slur and I was given a Feelings Chart to help regular my emotions. I reported a patron for following one of our teenage shelvers in the parking lot and was told "Oh yeah that's Creepy Steve, remind her to walk with a buddy next time."
I don't think this is necessarily representative of what most people's library experiences will be like! But for me the burnout was swift and brutal. I was in a dark place for a really long time, worse than even my current position because here at least I get paid well and I KNOW it sucks, whereas in libraries I felt angry with myself for not being better at toughing out a field I supposedly loved and I had to work a second job to make ends meet.
Moratorium on stories about the importance of stories! If I did not already think stories were worth my time I would not be spending said time reading! It's the literary equivalent of auto-fellatio, except instead of removing your ribs you've removed your capacity for shame.
God thank you. They are so exhaustingly twee. Even when it's Dark Academia and supposed to be grim and brutal it's twee. If I open a book and your librarian is even the smallest bit magical, mysterious, or mystical, I will throw the book at someone's head. The next book I find like this, I'm assigning the author remedial homework. 4,000 inspirationally saccharine words about The Power Of Having Printer or I nuke the entire site from orbit.
It feels like if farmers made a cult out of worshipping grocery store clerks.
(goverment voice) we need to protect the children from pornography so our plan is to remove their eyes so they would never see something so traumatic. if you are against removing children's eyes you are basically a pedophile
Im making a tutorial for putting multiple holds of the same title for one patron AND one for putting one hold of the same title for multiple patrons and I gotta say. This headache is going to throw me off a cliff
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Before we get started today, the International Energy Agency told me to make a little announcement. If you have a radioactive isotope of beryllium in your mouth, spit it out. Doesn't matter if it's beryllium-7 or the more common -10, you can't eat that shit. Everyone should have figured that out in grade school. Thank you for your time.
Safety warnings have been getting wilder as our world becomes more intricately dangerous. I've spoken about this before: fifty years ago, most warning signs were like "don't put your cigarette out in this." Nowadays there's a ton of cautions about radio interference with your Xbox controllers if you eat a cupcake the wrong way after having major dental surgery.
Part of this is because the demands of the customer have become more sophisticated. Every day, we're doing shit that would have pissed off a NASA scientist, and not even thinking about it too hard. Last week, I got mad that the free wifi on an airplane wasn't very fast. My buddy made some kind of special collar that lets us hear the thoughts of dogs, and then he threw it out with the other clutter on his desk when his in-laws were visiting.
Unfortunately, human brains are still basically the same as fifty years ago. Most of us would still be considered "kinda weird" in the 70s. There is a much wider gap of knowledge that has to be expressed to your average run-of-the-mill ding-dong in order to explain to them just how much trouble they are in. That's where the warnings are coming from: you practically have to include an undergraduate lecture to get people up to speed with the concepts involved, before you tell them not to put those concepts in their mouth.
So the next time you see a ridiculous safety warning, make sure to say thank you to all the technical writers who had to go through a brain-blasting exercise just to fit it all on the little sticker. And read the whole thing, why don't you? It's cheaper than college.
